by Clive Barker
As she ran towards the gates she heard the sound of boots on the gravel, and glanced over her shoulder to see the Captain, rifle in hand, stepping from behind the tree.
'Some chocolate, Mrs Jape?' said Mr Klein.
This is a lunatic asylum,' she told him when they had escorted her back to the interrogation room. 'Nothing more nor less. You've no right to hold me here.' He ignored her complaints.
'You spoke to Gomm,' he said, 'and he to you.'
'What if he did?'
'What did he tell you?'
'I said: what if he did?'
'And I said: what did he tell you? Klein roared. She would not have guessed him capable of such apoplexy. 'I want to know, Mrs Jape.'
Much against her will she found herself shaking at his outburst.
'He told me nonsense,' she replied. 'He's insane. I think you're all insane.'
'What nonsense did he tell you?'
'It was rubbish.'
'I'd like to know, Mrs Jape,' Klein said, his fury abating. 'Humour me.'
'He said there was some kind of committee at work here, that made decisions about world politics, and that he was one of them. That was it, for what it's worth.'
'And?'
'And I gently told him he was out of his mind.'
Mr Klein forged a smile. 'Of course, this is a complete fiction,' he said.
'Of course,' said Vanessa. 'Jesus Christ, don't treat me like an imbecile, Mr Klein. I'm a grown woman -'
'Mr Gomm -'
'He said he was a professor.'
'Another delusion. Mr Gomm is a paranoid schizophrenic. He can be extremely dangerous, given half a chance. You were pretty lucky.'
'And the others?'
'Others?'
'He's not alone. I've heard them. Are they all schizophrenics?'
Klein sighed. 'They're all deranged, though their conditions vary. And in their time, unlikely as it may seem, they've all been killers.' He paused to allow this information to sink in. 'Some of them multiple killers. That's why they have this place to themselves, hidden away. That's why the officers are armed -'
Vanessa opened her mouth to ask why they were required to masquerade as nuns, but Klein was not about to give her an opportunity.
'Believe me, it's as inconvenient for me as it is irritating for you to be here,' he said.
'Then let me go.'
'When my investigations are complete,' he said. 'In the meanwhile your cooperation would be appreciated. If Mr Gomm or any of the other patients tries to co-opt you into some plan or other, please report them to me immediately. Will you do that?'
'I suppose -'
'And please refrain from any further escape attempts. The next one could prove fatal.'
'I wanted to ask -'
'Tomorrow, maybe,' Mr Klein said, glancing at his watch as he stood up. 'For now: sleep.'
Which, she debated with herself when that sleep refused to come, of all the routes to the truth that lay before her, was the unlikeliest path? She had been given several alternatives: by Gomm, by Klein, by her own common sense. All of them were temptingly improbable. All, like the path that had brought her here, unmarked as to their final destination. She had suffered the consequence of her perversity in following that track of course; here she was, weary and battered, locked up with little hope of escape. But that perversity was her nature - perhaps, as Ronald had once said, the one indisputable fact about her. If she disregarded that instinct now, despite all it had brought her to, she was lost. She lay awake, turning the available alternatives over in her head. By morning she had made up her mind.
She waited all day, hoping Gomm would come, but she wasn't surprised when he failed to show. It was possible that events of the previous evening had landed him in deeper trouble than even he could talk his way out of. She was not left entirely to herself however. Guillemot came and went, with food, with drink and - in the middle of the afternoon - with playing cards. She picked up the gist of five-card poker quite rapidly, and they passed a contented hour or two playing, while the air carried shouts from the courtyard where the bedlamites were racing frogs.
'Do you think you could arrange for me to have a bath, or at least a shower?' she asked him when he came back for her dinner tray that evening. 'It's getting so that I don't like my own company.'
He actually smiled as he responded. 'I'll find out for you.'
'Would you?' she gushed. 'That's very kind.'
He returned an hour later to tell her that dispensation had been sought and granted; would she like to accompany him to the showers?
'Are you going to scrub my back?' she casually enquired.
Guillemot's eyes flickered with panic at the remark, and his ears flushed beetroot red. 'Please follow me,' he said. Obediently, she followed, trying to keep a mental picture of their route should she want to retrace it later, without her custodian.
The facilities he brought her to were far from primitive, and she regretted, walking into the mirrored bathroom, that actually washing was not high on her list of priorities. Never mind; cleanliness was for another day.
'I'll be outside the door,' Guillemot said.
'That's reassuring,' she replied, offering him a look she trusted he would interpret as promising, and closed the door. Then she ran the shower as hot as it would go, until steam began to cloud the room, and went down on her hands and knees to soap the floor. When the bathroom was sufficiently veiled and the floor sufficiently slick, she called Guillemot. She might have been flattered by the speed of his response, but she was too busy stepping behind him as he fumbled in the steam, and giving him a hefty push. He slid on the floor, and stumbled against the shower, yelping as scalding water met his scalp. His automatic rifle clattered to the floor, and by the time he was righting himself she had it in her hand, and pointed at his torso, a substantial target. Though she was no sharp-shooter, and her hands were trembling, a blind woman couldn't have missed at such a range; she knew it, and so did Guillemot. He put his hands up.
'Don't shoot.'
'If you move a muscle -'
'Please ... don't shoot.'
'Now ... you're going to take me to Mr Gomm and the others. Quickly and quietly.'
'Why?'
'Just take me,' she said, gesturing with the rifle that he should lead the way out of the bathroom. 'And if you try to do anything clever, I'll shoot you in the back,' she said. 'I know it's not very manly, but then I'm not a man. I'm just an unpredictable woman. So treat me very carefully.'
'... yes.'
He did as he was told, meekly, leading her out of the building and through a series of passageways which took them - or so she guessed - towards the bell-tower and the complex that clustered about it. She had always assumed this, the heart of the fortress, to be a chapel. She could not have been more wrong. The outer shell might be tiled roof and white-washed walls, but that was merely a facade; they stepped over the threshold into a concrete maze more reminiscent of a bunker than a place of worship. It briefly occurred to her that the place had been built to withstand a nuclear attack, an impression reinforced by the fact that the corridors all led down. If this was an asylum, it was built to house some rare lunatics.
'What is this place?' she asked Guillemot.
'We call it the Boudoir,' he said. 'It's where everything happens.'
There was little happening at present; most of the offices off the corridors were in darkness. In one room a computer calculated its chances of independent thought, unattended; in another a telex machine wrote love-letters to itself. They descended into the bowels of the place unchallenged, until, rounding a corner, they came face to face with a woman on her hands and knees, scrubbing the linoleum. The encounter startled both parties, and Guillemot was swift to take the initiative. He knocked Vanessa sideways against the wall, and ran for it. Before she had time to get him in her sights, he was gone.
She cursed herself. It would be moments only before alarm bells started to ring, and guards came running. She was lost
if she stayed where she was. The three exits from this hallway looked equally unpromising, so she simply made for the nearest, leaving the cleaner to stare after her. The route she took proved to be another adventure. It led her through a series of rooms, one of which was lined with dozens of clocks, all showing different times; the next of which contained upwards of fifty black telephones; the third and largest was lined on every side with television screens. They rose, one upon another, from floor to ceiling. All but one was blank. The exception to this rule was showing what she first took to be a mud-wrestling contest, but was in fact a poorly reproduced pornographic film. Sitting watching it, sprawled on a chair with a beer-can balanced on his stomach, was a moustachioed nun. He stood up as she entered: caught in the act. She pointed the rifle at him.
'I'm going to shoot you dead,' she told him.
'Shit.'
'Where's Gomm and the others?'
'What?'
'Where are they?' she demanded. 'Quickly?
'Down the hall. Turn left and left again,' he said. Then added, 'I don't want to die.'
'Then sit down and shut up,' she replied.
'Thank God,' he said.
'Why don't you?' she told him. As she backed out of the room he fell down on his knees, while the mud-wrestlers cavorted behind him.
Left and left again. The directions were fruitful: they led her to a series of rooms. She was just about to knock on one of the doors when the alarm sounded. Throwing caution to the wind she pushed all the doors open. Voices from within complained at being woken, and asked what the alarm was ringing for. In the third room she found Gomm. He grinned at her.
'Vanessa,' he said, bounding out into the corridor. He was wearing a long vest, and nothing else. 'You came, eh? You came!'
The others were appearing from their rooms, bleary with sleep. Ireniya, Floyd, Mottershead, Goldberg. She could believe - looking at their raddled faces - that they indeed had four hundred years between them.
'Wake up, you old buggers,' Gomm said. He had found a pair of trousers and was pulling them on.
'The alarm's ringing - ' one commented. His hair, which was bright white, was almost at his shoulders.
'They'll be here soon -' Ireniya said.
'No matter,' Gomm replied.
Floyd was already dressed. 'I'm ready,' he announced.
'But we're outnumbered,' Vanessa protested. 'We'll never get out alive.'
'She's right,' said one, squinting at her. 'It's no use.'
'Shut up, Goldberg,' Gomm snapped. 'She's got a gun, hasn't she?'
'One,' said the white-haired individual. This must be Mottershead. 'One gun against all of them.'
'I'm going back to bed,' Goldberg said.
'This is a chance to escape,' Gomm said. 'Probably the only chance we'll ever get.'
'He's right,' the woman said.
'And what about the games?' Goldberg reminded them.
'Forget the games,' Floyd told the other, 'let them stew a while.'
'It's too late,' said Vanessa. 'They're coming.' There were shouts from both ends of the corridor. 'We're trapped.'
'Good,' said Gomm.
'You are insane,' she told him plainly.
'You can still shoot us,' he replied, grinning.
Floyd grunted. 'I don't want to get out of here that much,' he said.
'Threaten it! Threaten it!' Gomm said. 'Tell them if they try anything you'll shoot us all!'
Ireniya smiled. She had left her teeth in her bedroom. 'You're not just a pretty face,' she said to Gomm.
'He's right,' said Floyd, beaming now. "They wouldn't dare risk us. They'll have to let us go.'
'You're out of your minds,' Goldberg muttered. 'There's nothing out there for us ...' He returned into his room and slammed the door. Even as he did so the corridor was blocked off at either end by a mass of guards. Gomm took hold of Vanessa's rifle and raised it to point at his heart.
'Be gentle,' he hissed, and threw her a kiss.
'Put down the weapon, Mrs Jape,' said a familiar voice. Mr Klein had appeared amongst the throng of guards. Take it from me, you are completely surrounded.'
'I'll kill them all,' Vanessa said, a little hesitantly. Then again, this time with more feeling: 'I'm warning you. I'm desperate. I'll kill them all before you shoot me.'
'I see ...' said Klein quietly. 'And why should you assume that I give a damn whether you kill them or not? They're insane. I told you that: all lunatics, killers ...'
'We both know that isn't true,' said Vanessa, gaining confidence from the anxiety on Klein's face. 'I want the front gates opened, and the key in the ignition of my car. If you try anything stupid, Mr Klein, I will systematically shoot these hostages. Now dismiss your bully-boys and do as I say.'
Mr Klein hesitated, then signalled a general withdrawal.
Gomm's eyes glittered. 'Nicely done,' he whispered.
'Why don't you lead the way?' Vanessa suggested. Gomm did as he was instructed, and her small party snaked their way out past the massed clocks and telephones and video screens. Every step they took Vanessa expected a bullet to find her, but Mr Klein was clearly too concerned for the health of the ancients to risk calling her bluff. They reached the open air without incident.
The guards were in evidence outside, though attempting to stay out of sight. Vanessa kept the rifle trained on the four captives as they headed through the yards to where her car was parked. The gates had been opened.
'Gomm,' she whispered. 'Open the car doors.'
Gomm did so. He had said that age had shrunk them all, and perhaps that was true, but there were five of them to fit into the small vehicle, and it was tightly packed. Vanessa was the last to get in. As she ducked to slide into the driving seat a shot rang out, and she felt a blow to her shoulder. She dropped the rifle.
'Bastards,' said Gomm.
'Leave her,' somebody piped up in the back, but Gomm was already out of the car and bundling her into the back beside Floyd. He then slid into the driving seat himself and started the engine.
'Can you drive?' Ireniya demanded.
'Of course I can bloody drive!' he retorted, and the car jerked forward through the gates, the gears grating.
Vanessa had never been shot before, and hoped - if she survived this episode - to avoid it happening again. The wound in her shoulder was bleeding badly. Floyd did his best to staunch the wound, but Gomm's driving made any really constructive help practically impossible.
There's a track -' she managed to tell him, 'off that way.'
'Which way's that way? Gomm yelled.
'Right! Right!' she yelled back.
Gomm took both hands off the wheel and looked at them.
'Which is right?
'For Christ's sake-'
Ireniya, in the seat beside him, pressed his hands back onto the wheel. The car performed a tarantella. Vanessa groaned with every bump.
'I see it!' said Gomm. 'I see the track!' He revved the car up, and put his foot on the accelerator.
One of the back doors, which had been inadequately secured, flipped open and Vanessa almost fell out. Mottershead, reaching over Floyd, yanked her back to safety, but before they could close the door it met the boulder that marked the convergence of the two tracks. The car bucked as the door was torn off its hinges.
'We needed more air in here,' said Gomm, and drove on.
Theirs was not the only engine disturbing the Aegean night. There were lights behind them, and the sound of hectic pursuit. With Guillemot's rifle left in the convent, they had no sudden death to bargain with, and Klein knew it.
'Step on it!' Floyd said, grinning from ear to ear. 'They're coming after us.'
'I'm going as fast as I can,' Gomm insisted.
Turn off the lights,' Ireniya suggested. 'It'll make us less of a target.'
Then I won't be able to see the track,' Gomm complained over the roar of the engine.
'So what? You're not driving on it anyhow.'
Mottershead laughed, and so - aga
inst her better instincts - did Vanessa. Maybe the loss of blood was making her irresponsible, but she couldn't help herself. Four Methuselahs and herself in a three-door car driving around in the dark: only a madman would have taken this seriously. And there was the final and incontestible proof that these people weren't the lunatics Klein had marked them as, for they saw the humour in it too. Gomm had even taken to singing as he drove: snatches of Verdi, and a falsetto rendering of 'Over the Rainbow'.
And if - as her dizzied mind had concluded - these were creatures as sane as herself, then what of the tale that Gomm had told?; was that true too? Was it possible that Armageddon had been kept at bay by these few giggling geriatrics?
They're gaining on us!' Floyd said. He was on his knees on the back seat, peering out of the window.
'We're not going to make it,' Mottershead observed, his laughter barely abating. 'We're all going to die.'
'There!' Ireniya yelled. There's another track! Try that! Try that!'
Gomm swung the wheel, and the car almost tipped over as it swung off the main track and followed this new route. With the lights extinguished it was impossible to see more than a glimmer of the road ahead, but Gomm's style was not about to be cramped by such minor considerations. He revved the car until the engine fairly screeched. Dust was flung up and through the gap where the door had been; a goat fled from the path ahead seconds before losing its life.
'Where are we going?' Vanessa yelled.
'Haven't a clue,' Gomm returned. 'Have you?
Wherever they were heading, they were going at a fair speed. This track was flatter than the one they'd left, and Gomm was taking full advantage of the fact. Again, he'd taken to singing.
Mottershead was leaning out of the window on the far side of the car, his hair streaming, watching for their pursuers.
'We're losing them!' he howled triumphantly. 'We're losing them!'
A common exhilaration seized all the travellers now, and they began to sing along with H.G. They were singing so loudly that Gomm couldn't hear Mottershead inform him that the road ahead seemed to disappear. Indeed H.G. was not aware that he had driven the car over the cliff until the vehicle took a nose-dive, and the sea came up to meet them.