‘I love the taste of you,’ he murmured upon her skin. His mouth descended on hers in a possessive kiss. Sleek and hot, he invaded, mercilessly taking her mouth for his own. She tasted his need and trembled beneath the onslaught.
He took her back against the wall, supporting her weight with one knee. ‘I want you, Nairna,’ he murmured against her cheek. ‘More than anything in this world.’ Wild and tempting, his tongue teased hers.
The length of his erection rested between the juncture of her thighs and Nairna could hardly breathe.
The wildness in him was barely beneath the surface, held by a single thread of control. But right now, Nairna was starting to edge that control away from him.
Bram wanted to draw her down upon the mattress, stripping away her clothing until her bare skin rested beneath him. He wanted to fill her with himself, invading her softness until she cried out with release.
But he’d never taken a woman before and didn’t know what he should do. When his hand moved up her skirt, he sensed the sudden change within her. Nairna’s hands rested against his chest, and though she kissed him back, she appeared nervous about it.
He released her, stepping back. ‘Do you want to do this?’
The uncertainty in her eyes made him pause. ‘I won’t deny you, Bram.’
Something didn’t seem right about her acceptance. She covered her breasts, adjusting her clothing until the outer gown fell onto the ground and she wore only her shift. The creamy linen clung to her and her nipples were taut against the fabric.
Nairna lay down upon the mattress, no longer looking at him. ‘I’m ready.’
Ready for what? Bram stared at her undergarment, trying to make sense of it. He removed his tunic, kneeling down beside her. Nairna inched the hem of her shift higher, until it bunched near her thighs, just below the curve of her bottom.
Understanding suddenly dawned upon him. ‘Did your husband take you like this?’
She nodded, her face bright with colour. ‘It’s your right, as my…’ she looked at the ground as though she were uncomfortable with the words ‘…my husband. And I do want children, so…’ Her voice trailed off, but he detected the anxiety beneath her veil of calm.
He’d heard of men taking a serving wench in that manner, simply lifting her skirts and driving deep inside. But it wasn’t what he’d imagined. He wanted her naked beneath him and it was sobering to learn that her experience wasn’t at all what he’d expected.
Bram ran his hand across her hair, moving down to her face. ‘Was it always this way?’
She nodded. ‘Bram, if you’re planning to—’ She stared up at the ceiling again. ‘It’s all right.’
‘Did he ever give you pleasure?’ he asked. ‘Or was it simply a duty?’
‘It didn’t hurt me.’ She looked worried, as if she were afraid she wasn’t giving the right answers.
‘That’s not what I asked.’
And when he saw the confusion in her eyes, he understood the truth. Though Iver MacDonnell had taken Nairna’s virginity, he’d taught her nothing about enjoying the marriage bed.
Bram stretched out beside her, forcing her to look at him. ‘I don’t want it to be that way.’ He didn’t want her to lie like a stone while he took her. He knew women could be pleasured, that sex was meant to be enjoyed by both of them.
How he wished he knew what to do. Nairna huddled on the edge of the mattress and it didn’t seem that she understood what he was talking about.
‘Nairna,’ he said quietly, ‘look at me.’
Clearly embarrassed, she blurted out, ‘I know I never pleased Iver. I thought there ought to be more, but I couldn’t feel things the way he could.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with you. Only with him.’
Even as he spoke the words, he felt his own apprehensions worsening. If her previous experience hadn’t been good, what made him think he’d be any better? He wanted to touch her, to explore her body and learn how to bring her to fulfilment. But she appeared so upset, he didn’t know how he would ever calm her anxiety.
He pulled her into his embrace and Nairna rested her cheek against his chest. The tension in her body was unspoken, in the way she curled up, half-shielding herself.
If he’d had any experience with lovemaking, he might have been able to coax away her fears. But he didn’t. And it seemed wrong to push her when she was nearly in tears, thinking that she’d been a poor wife.
His hands moved over her nape, softly soothing away the knots. He wanted to distract her, to take her mind off her fears.
‘Alex wants to leave in the morning to go after Callum,’ he said.
Nairna looked up at him for a long moment, worry lurking in her green eyes. ‘I didn’t realise it would be so soon.’ She caught his hand in hers. ‘I wish you would stay.’
‘You know I can’t.’ Though his fighting skills were weakened, he held the knowledge that would get them safely inside and out again.
The Earl of Cairnross, Gilbert de Bouche, had kept the prisoners chained belowground, bringing them out to construct thicker walls or to expand the fortress.
What Cairnross didn’t know was that Bram and the other prisoners had created weaknesses in the structure at various points. They’d even left one hidden portion of the outer curtain wall with loose stones. Bram knew exactly where the unmortared segment was, and that weakness would allow them to slip inside the fortress to free the prisoners.
‘I can get the men inside to rescue Callum,’ he said. ‘And if they follow my lead, they can take him out before the English even know we’re there.’
Nairna rested her hands behind her head. ‘Do you really want to go back to Cairnross, after what they did to you?’ Her eyes met his, holding a thousand questions he didn’t want to answer.
He blocked out the memories, refusing to let the past interfere with what he had to do. Getting Callum out was all that mattered. ‘I’ve no choice.’
‘How long will you be gone?’ she asked.
‘It will take four days to reach Lord Cairnross’s fortress, if we ride hard. Then four days back again.’
He rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. His head pounded with an oncoming ache, and he felt his hands beginning to shake again. He took one breath, then another, trying to still the tremor.
But he could no more control his trembling hands than he could stop his heart from beating. It slashed at his pride and he hated that she was seeing him like this.
Nairna touched a cool hand to his forehead. ‘It’s all right, Bram,’ she whispered. ‘If you’re to make this journey, you need rest.’
‘I don’t sleep, Nairna. It’s not something I can do anymore.’
‘Try.’ She brought her fingers over his eyelids and he shut them, breathing in the soft fragrance of her skin. Though his mind refused to remain still, troubled with thoughts of Callum, his wife’s touch brought him comfort.
And though he wished, more than anything, that Nairna’s presence could take away the nightmares, he doubted if it would ever happen.
‘I never thought I’d be sending you off to fight again,’ she said, her hand resting over his eyes as if she could will him to sleep.
As he lay unmoving beneath the butterfly touch of her fingers, a slight note of uneasiness pulled at him. There was always a risk involved with any fight. Before he’d brought Nairna back with him, he hadn’t cared about his own fate. If he died in the battle, so be it.
But now he had a reason to come back.
Though he kept his eyes closed, Nairna knew Bram wasn’t sleeping. She shivered, remembering the tales she’d heard of Lord Cairnross. It was rumoured that he had been sent by the English King Edward, not to ally with the Scots, but to execute them.
Some believed Cairnross had used the black arts to build his fortresses, for no one knew how he’d accomplished so much, so quickly. It was clear now that he’d done so with the blood and sweat of his captives.
And Bram had been one of his slaves.
But the man had grown away from the boy. There were needs he held now that went beyond food or sleep. It was as if he needed her, more than nourishment or water.
His body was so close to hers, she could feel the warmth. Nairna shifted upon the mattress, her gown bunched up between her thighs. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking of Bram’s mouth on her skin and the rush of sensation that had flooded through her, moistening the secret place between her legs.
Aye, it was different between them now. But instead of the shy, stolen moments, she craved something else from him. Something to calm the restlessness rising up within.
Slowly, she eased backwards, until their bodies touched. Bram reached for her waist, pulling her close. He rested his face against her hair, and upon the back of her neck she could feel his breath. His touch penetrated her skin, awakening her to strange, pulling needs. A part of her wanted to turn her mouth to his and experience the forgetfulness that he could grant.
Temptation beckoned to her and she longed to feel his body filling up the emptiness inside. She turned to him and her nose brushed against his, her mouth only a few inches away.
‘What is it, a ghaoil?’ Bram asked, reaching out to slide her hair behind her ear. The tender gesture made her hesitate, for she didn’t know if he would even want to make love to her. She had no experience in seduction and didn’t know what would please him.
When she embraced him closer, her breasts pressed against his chest. She lifted her knee over his and the moment her bare skin touched his, he froze.
He didn’t move, nor did he give any indication that he’d changed his mind about joining with her. All of her courage fled and Nairna felt her face flood with embarrassment.
She untangled her leg from his and rolled away, closing her eyes. ‘Be safe tomorrow,’ was all she could utter before turning away.
The following morning, Bram rose at dawn to prepare for the journey. In sleep, Nairna’s face was soft, her lips tempting him to steal a kiss. But if he dared to taste her, he’d never stop. Only by the grace of God had he managed to keep his hands off her last night.
When she’d embraced him, he hadn’t known what she’d wanted. Was she merely bidding him good night? Or was she trying to show him affection?
Before he could decide, she’d told him to be safe and turned her back. He’d spent a painful remainder of the night, his groin raging with need. He hardly trusted himself to sleep so close to her, for fear that he’d lose sight of himself and take her without any finesse.
Marriage was killing him in a slow, sexually frustrating death.
Though he wanted to tell her goodbye, he didn’t want to awaken her, preferring to remember her like this. Bram found one of her riding gloves and held it a moment, slipping a small token inside.
He closed the door behind him and saw that Alex and Ross were already preparing the horses and supplies. Bram continued walking across the courtyard until he reached them.
There, he found his younger brother Dougal glaring at them like a sulking child. ‘I want to go with you.’
‘Not while I breathe.’ A lad of four and ten was too young to venture into a fight such as this one. Bram studied Dougal, seeing traces of himself in the young man’s eyes. Once, he’d been every bit as hotheaded and determined.
He softened his voice, adding, ‘I need you to guard Nairna and Laren, as well as the others.’
‘You’re not leaving me behind,’ Dougal insisted. ‘I can fight better than you. Besides, Alex thinks you don’t have the strength for the journey. I heard him talking about it last night.’
Bram showed no reaction. ‘You’re still not going.’
‘I will. Once you’ve gone, I’ll follow.’ The stubborn slant to the boy’s face made it clear that he intended to do just that. ‘You can’t stop me if you’re already gone.’
Bram grasped Dougal by the wrist. The boy yelped as he dragged him past the others, seizing a length of rope from near the stables. While the boy cursed and struggled, Bram tied him up, securing the end of the rope to a post. ‘You’re going nowhere, lad.’
He didn’t care that what he was doing would humiliate his brother. What mattered most was keeping him safe. The ropes weren’t tight enough to hurt him, only to prevent him from following. He also left enough slack in the rope where Dougal could enter the stables for shelter, if it rained.
‘I hate you,’ Dougal raged, struggling against his bonds. ‘I wish you’d never come back.’
Bram returned to his horse, knowing that it was the boy’s anger speaking. But the barbed words had their intended effect. It bothered him that his youngest brother didn’t know him anymore. And Dougal couldn’t understand that Bram only meant to protect him.
Alex raised an eyebrow at the sight of their brother fighting to tear off the ropes, struggling to escape. ‘You think that will stop Dougal?’
‘Do you have a better idea?’
Alex shrugged. ‘Not really.’
When they returned, Bram supposed he’d have to do something to atone for his actions. But it was better for Dougal’s pride to suffer than for him to become Lord Cairnross’s captive.
‘Nairna or Laren can cut him free tomorrow,’ Bram said. ‘By then, we’ll be far from here.’
‘I don’t envy them, having to live with Dougal while we’re gone.’ Alex grimaced. ‘He changed after our father died. He’s angry all the time.’
‘What about our mother?’ Bram ventured. ‘Was he better when she was here?’
Alex shook his head. ‘No. Grizel ignored him in her grief and he became a hellion. She wanted nothing to do with either of us.’ With a nod towards their brother, he added, ‘Leave him be. That’s the only solution.’
Bram cast a look towards Dougal, who was raging at the others around him. Some of the older men teased him, which only provoked the boy’s temper further.
He saw Nairna approaching, carrying a bit of food. When she caught sight of Dougal, her face grew troubled.
She made the mistake of going to speak to the lad, and when she offered him the food, Dougal snarled at her, kicking at her ankles.
Bram’s temper erupted and he crossed the space until he reached the boy. He ignored Nairna’s protests and caught Dougal by the scruff of his tunic. ‘You don’t touch my wife. You don’t speak unkindly to her or dare to harm her in any way.’
His hands exerted a light pressure, and when Dougal tried to bite him, Bram tightened the force.
Without looking at his wife, he added, ‘Nairna, he’s not to be released until tomorrow morning.’
‘But—’
‘He can’t follow us.’ Looking deep into the boy’s eyes, he lowered his voice. ‘You don’t know what kind of hell Callum is enduring right now. But I do. And I won’t let you or anyone else become their captive.’ Raising the boy’s chin, he added, ‘While I’m gone, you’ll treat Nairna with respect. Or you’ll answer to me for it.’
Bram released the boy, letting Dougal see his scarred wrists. At the sight of his mauled skin, the boy quieted.
Nairna looked upset, but Bram took her hand, leading her away.
‘It’s not right,’ she protested. ‘He’s too young to be tied up like that.’
‘He’s four and ten. And he knows better than to behave like a stubborn fool.’ With a squeeze to her hand, he ordered, ‘Don’t let your compassion get the best of you, Nairna. Don’t believe a word that passes his lips. He’ll try to find us if you free him.’
He had no doubt that Dougal would do anything possible to escape. ‘Swear to me,’ Bram urged. ‘Don’t let him f
ollow us.’
Nairna gave a slight nod, worry creasing her lips. ‘Do I truly need to wait until tomorrow?’
‘If he behaves himself, you can cut him free late tonight.’ He stopped walking when they were a few paces away from Alex and the others. ‘It’s for his safety.’
Reluctance lined her face, but she agreed with a nod. He could see that she didn’t like what she had to do, but she understood his reasons.
He stopped walking, taking a moment to study her. In her eyes he saw worry and regretted that they’d had no time together.
‘I’ll return in just over a sennight, if all goes well,’ he said.
She embraced him. ‘God be with you on your journey.’ Into his hands she pressed a bundle of food.
She’d known he wouldn’t take the time to break his fast, and the gesture made him tighten his arms around her.
A hollow feeling unfurled within him, for he didn’t know if he’d see her again. If the worst happened…
It’s different this time, he reminded himself. Instead of Nairna remaining in his shadowed memory, she would be here, waiting for him. He had a flesh-and-blood reason to return, a woman who had already driven out so many of the demons.
Until then, he had to concentrate on finding Callum. And coming back alive.
‘You’re not going to leave me here,’ Dougal growled as Nairna drew close.
‘Have you broken your fast this morn?’ she asked, ignoring his fury.
‘Why would you care?’ He spat at her feet.
Nairna continued past him, returning to the Hall to fetch some bread, before she came back. Her brothers had always been in worse tempers when they were hungry. No doubt Dougal had been so eager to follow Bram and the others, he’d neglected a morning meal.
When she reached him once more, she held out the bread. ‘Do you want this?’
‘What I want is for you to cut me free.’ He glared at her, fighting against the ropes that held him bound to one of the palisade posts.
‘And what I want is for the women to come back,’ she countered.
‘They don’t matter. Good riddance to them.’
Claimed by the Highland Warrior Page 10