by Sarah Morgan
“Tell me what you’ve been doing since we last met.” Corinna’s desk was made of glass and topped by neat piles of glossy magazines. Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Elle and Harper’s Bazaar, sat alongside the New Yorker. Everywhere she looked there was the gleam of glass and the dazzle of white. The place smelled of success.
“I’ve been at home with the children.”
Corinna’s expression made her wonder if she should have lied about that.
“That’s what I heard, and I was surprised. You were so good at what you did, I thought you’d be back at work before you could say diaper.” Corinna picked up her phone, her nails gleaming under the lights as she dialed. “Annabelle? Bring us drinks.”
Beth resisted the temptation to interject with say please. She’d been a mother for far too long. Next she’d be cutting up Corinna’s food. “That’s kind. I’d love a c—” She’d been about to say coffee, when a young woman, presumably the long-suffering Annabelle, entered the room carrying a bottle of champagne and two glasses. “Champagne. Delicious.”
“We work hard and we play hard. Annabelle, ask Dan and Sylvia to join us.”
By the time she left, Beth was floating on air, and the feeling wasn’t entirely due to the quantity of champagne she’d consumed on an empty stomach.
She’d entered the building unsure of herself, but now she felt glamorous and confident. She was no longer just Ruby and Melly’s mother. She was Beth McBride, fashion and beauty PR. She was the type of woman who knew what to wear and when to wear it.
She felt as if she’d been stuck behind traffic and suddenly the road ahead had opened up. She was ready to put her foot on the gas.
She was back in the fast lane.
The excitement was dizzying, and the first thing she did when she arrived back at her apartment was to grab a notepad and start scribbling ideas. Not only was she determined to impress Corinna, but she needed to prove to herself that she still had what it took.
By the time Jason arrived back with the girls, she was on fire. The kitchen table was piled high with samples, and paper covered in her scrawl. Her laptop was open, the screen glowing.
Ruby and Melly tumbled through the door with him, their cheeks pink from the cold.
Ruby’s cheeks were also smudged with brown.
Chocolate.
Beth was too high on champagne and life to care that Jason had obviously used chocolate as a bribe.
“Hi! Did you have a great time with Daddy?”
“Melly was late to school,” Ruby said, “and she cried. She said she hated Daddy and that he was doing everything wrong.”
There was a flush on Jason’s cheekbones. “She’s exaggerating. And we weren’t that late. We couldn’t find Ruby’s shoes or her gloves.”
“She hides them.” Some of Beth’s euphoria faded. Wasn’t he even going to ask her how her meeting went?
“I want to draw with you.” Ruby clambered onto the chair and reached for Beth’s neatly sorted papers.
“Don’t touch those!” Beth flew across the kitchen and scooped up Ruby before she could leave chocolaty prints. “It’s Mommy’s work.”
Ruby turned saucerlike eyes on her. “You don’t work.”
That’s going to change, Beth thought.
“I do. I’m putting together ideas for a new campaign.”
“What’s a campaign?”
“Wait—” Jason’s voice sounded strange. “You took the job? Without talking to me first?”
She didn’t point out that he’d accepted his promotion without talking to her first.
How did it go, Beth? Did you like them? Did they like you? Tell me about it.
She found a tissue in her purse and wiped Ruby’s mouth. “Go and wash your hands and face, baby. I want to talk to Daddy.”
“I’m not a baby. Can we play fire stations?”
“Maybe. We’ll see. You, too, Melly.” She waited until both her daughters had vanished into the bathroom before turning back to Jason. “Don’t you want to know how it went?”
“I only just walked through the door. Give me a chance.”
“To answer the question you didn’t ask, it went well. They’re pitching for a major brand in the new year and they want me to be part of that. If we win, the job is mine.”
“If you win.” He let out a long breath. “Do I need to remind you what Corinna is like, Beth? She is a machine, and she expects her team to display the same qualities.”
“She’s committed. That’s why she is good at her job.” She wasn’t sure if she was defending Corinna or her own choices.
“She is good at her job because she doesn’t have a life. And she expects the people who work for her to not have lives, either. Is that really what you want? Think about it, Beth. What happens when one of the kids is sick? Corinna isn’t one of those bosses who is going to smile sweetly and hurry you out of the door. She’s never acknowledged your kids exist! She didn’t even send a card when they were born and you were upset about that. She hurt you.”
“I’d had a baby. I was hormonal. And if one of the kids is sick, maybe you could come home early. Why does it have to be me?” Only now did she notice that Jason looked exhausted. Was that what one morning looking after the children had done to him? “You’re trying to put me off because you don’t want me to do this.”
He jammed his fingers into his hair. “That’s not it. And if you think Corinna’s changed, you’re deluding yourself. If anything, she’s likely to be worse now that she owns the business. Every moment you give to your family is a moment you’re not giving to her and she isn’t going to like that.”
“You wanted her to reject me, didn’t you?”
His hesitation was infinitesimal. “I’m concerned that working with her won’t make you happy.”
“Oh please. Why not at least be honest and admit you don’t want me to work for her?”
“Do I have a choice? We hadn’t agreed that you were going back to work, but it seems you’ve already accepted the job.”
“I haven’t even been offered the job. First I have to come up with some ideas and go to the pitch with them.”
“What’s her agenda?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why does she want you?” His blunt question exposed all her insecurities.
“It can’t be because she thinks I’m the best person for the job? Thanks for that vote of confidence, Jason.”
“That isn’t—”
“Do not say anything else.” She hadn’t thought it possible for her feelings to be so badly hurt. She stalked toward the bedroom and he followed her, closing the door so that the girls wouldn’t hear them.
“All I’m saying is that you’ve been out of the business for a while. There has to be a reason that she is chasing you so hard.”
“Stop, Jason. Just stop! And don’t close the door. I need to listen out for the children.”
He spread his hands. “Beth, please—she is going to make you miserable.”
“You don’t want me to go back to work. You want another child, but you barely see the two you already have.” She saw his expression change, but it was too late to pull the words back.
“I take the girls on Sunday mornings while you have time to yourself.”
“And you go to the park and spend quality time. And because you don’t see much of them during the week, spending time with their daddy is a treat for them. It’s not the same when you have them day in, day out, when you’re trying to get them out of the house in the morning and they don’t want to wear what you want them to wear, or eat what you want them to eat. When you’re with the kids and you have to take a call, you hand them back to me. I have to take calls with both girls tugging at me and talking to me.”
“My calls are important.”
“Whereas nothing I do is important? That’s exac
tly why I want to go back to work.”
“Do you know how many women would like to be in your position?” He didn’t bother disguising the exasperation in his voice. “You have a great life, Beth.”
She was so stunned that for a moment she couldn’t move. “You don’t know anything about my life. You’re not here.”
“Because I’m working day and night to earn money that you then spend on yet another fire engine and princess outfit.” His voice hardened. “Maybe if you could say no once in a while, I wouldn’t have to work so hard! I’m the one hauling myself out of bed in the dark to go earn enough money to keep us all. I’m the one playing politics day in, day out, to make sure I don’t lose the job that brings in enough money to allow you to stay at home! It doesn’t take a genius to see who has the easier deal here.”
She was so outraged she couldn’t respond.
This couldn’t be happening. They couldn’t be speaking to each other like this.
Her insides were boiling and she felt tears of frustration and fury sting her eyes.
“Right.” Finally she found her voice. “Well, if being at home with the kids is so easy, then maybe you should try it for a while. Give yourself a break from hauling yourself out of bed to go to work, and haul yourself out of bed for the kids for a change. Take a break from playing politics, and play fire engines. Take your eye off Ruby for five seconds and see what happens.” She stalked across the bedroom and grabbed her coat.
Jason watched her. “What are you doing?”
“I’m giving you the opportunity to immerse yourself in parenthood, seeing as you seem to think that’s the ‘easier deal.’” She dragged open a drawer so violently a lamp toppled over. She caught it before it hit the floor. She could barely see through the heat haze of anger but somehow managed to find her passport. “You can look after the girls and enjoy some quality time.”
“Oh for—” He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “The last thing we need right now is drama, Beth.”
“Drama?” She slammed the drawer shut. She’d never felt so angry. Never. “This isn’t drama, Jason. This is me feeling strongly about something, and you not listening. The kids’ schedule is written down in the kitchen.” She emptied the contents of her purse into a larger bag. Her hands shook. Her heart was pounding so hard she half expected it to burst from her chest. They’d never had a fight like this. Never. “The number for the pediatrician is in the drawer, along with the dentist’s number and the numbers for Melly’s school. Don’t forget ballet. It’s half an hour earlier than it used to be. Make sure you’re there in plenty of time. Melly needs to change and gets upset if she’s late. And she hates the black tights, so make sure you take pink. And pack a spare pair in case of accidents.”
“Wait—” His face had drained of color. “You’re leaving me? And the kids?”
“I’m not leaving you. Nor am I leaving the girls. I would never, ever, leave our girls. I’m simply doing what you do every day, which is to walk out that door and leave another person with full responsibility for our family. When I am sure you really understand the impact of having another child, we can talk again.”
“You can’t be serious. This has got out of hand and you need to calm down.”
It was the worst thing he could have said.
“I’m calm.” If you didn’t count the fact that she was seeing him through a red mist. “Maybe you need to start listening.”
“What are you going to do? Walk around the corner and order a coffee somewhere until I text you an apology?”
“I’m having a week to myself to think about my life.”
“A week? But—you haven’t even packed a bag. You never travel anywhere without at least two suitcases.”
“I can buy whatever I need. That’s what I do, isn’t it, Jason? I spend your money.”
He sucked in a breath and spread his hands in a gesture of apology. “I didn’t mean to say that. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I think you did.”
“But—where will you go?” As it sank in that she really was walking out, he seemed to deflate. He looked so bemused and shell-shocked her anger receded a little. But not enough to make her change her mind.
“I’m going home.”
“You’re already home. This is home, Beth. Our apartment. Manhattan. Your family. The family you don’t seem too interested in right now.”
She felt a stab of guilt but refused to let him manipulate her. “I’m going home to Scotland. To my parents.”
His skin lost the last of its color. “You don’t want to spend Christmas with us?”
“Of course I do. I don’t want Christmas without the girls. You can fly out a few days before as planned. You have the tickets. If parenting is as easy as you seem to think it is, I’m sure you’ll have no issues. The presents are all bought, wrapped and labeled. Remember to pack them.” She grabbed her phone and called the airline. Before she could change her mind, she’d booked and paid for a ticket flying out of JFK that evening.
“But—” He muttered something under his breath “I have meetings tomorrow.” There was a note of panic in his voice that she’d never heard before.
“I’m sure you’ll find a way.”
“Beth—”
“I need you to see that the decision to have another child is not like buying another sofa or a new vase. Quite apart from the fact that giving birth to two babies destroyed my insides and my nerves, they take commitment and compromise.”
“This is insane.” He ran his hand over his jaw. “Are you at least going to leave me a list of food they eat? And I don’t know what clothes you’d want me to pack for them for the trip at Christmas.”
“Figure it out. You have full control, although I suggest you don’t let Melly wear her best dress to the park because she’ll be sad if she ruins it.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this.”
Neither could she. “You’ll be fine, Jason.”
“What about my promotion?”
“You said Sam understood that you have a family. Let’s test that understanding. If he wants you that badly, he’ll be prepared to wait a few weeks. Don’t forget to take Ruby’s inhaler whenever you go out. The cold weather sometimes triggers an asthma attack. Do not feed them chips, no matter how much they beg you, because they need fruit, vegetables and healthy food, and whatever you do, do not lose Bugsy, because Ruby can’t sleep without him.”
She felt a moment of anxiety as she contemplated all the things that could go wrong, but her anger was too great for her to back down. And anyway, she knew exactly what would happen.
As soon as she was out of the door, he’d call his mother.
10
Posy
The sun poured through the skylights in the loft, sending shafts of light across the bed.
Posy lay naked, her skin damp and her heart pounding. “Usually I don’t take a lunch break.”
Luke pulled her close. “Since neither of us has eaten, this doesn’t count as a lunch break.”
“Good point. Are you hungry? We should grab something to eat before we go back to work.”
“Is it a choice between sex and food? Because I choose sex.” He shifted so she was underneath him, then lowered his mouth to hers, his kiss lingering and full of erotic promise.
She felt the weight of him, the roughness of his thigh against hers and then the slow stroke of his fingers as he explored every sensitive part of her.
She wrapped her arms round his neck, wondering how it was possible to feel this close to someone you’d known for only a couple of months. It surprised her. More than that, it shook her.
He wasn’t her first lover, but in the past sex had felt more like a pleasurable workout than something special. On some level she’d always been aware that her emotions weren’t deeply engaged. With Luke, she’d dis
covered how different sex was when the feelings shared were more than just physical. She trusted those feelings. She’d trusted them when they’d told her that Callum was all wrong for her and she trusted them now as they told her that being with Luke was right.
Since that evening in the pub, they’d spent every night together as well as every lunchtime and the occasional hour in the afternoon. She hadn’t known life could be this exciting.
She’d never felt the need to protect her heart but felt a fleeting moment of anxiety, not that her heart might be hurt, but that this intimate connection, this bliss, might end. Emotionally, she could feel herself sliding deeper and saw no reason to stop herself.
She wound her legs round him and arched upward in blatant invitation.
“Luke Whittaker,” she purred, “I think you should—” Her phone beeped, cutting off her indecent suggestion in midsentence.
“You were saying?” His voice thickened and she sighed.
“I’d better check that, in case it’s something important. Can you grab it for me?”
He kissed her again and then reached across and picked up her phone. It took him a minute to focus. “It’s a text from Beth.”
“What does it say?”
“Nothing important.” He put the phone back and shifted over her again so that his body was intimately aligned with hers. “You have great legs. Have I already told you that?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know. I can’t think too well when you’re doing what you’re doing.” She slid her hands down his back. “What did Beth want?”
“Nothing.” He kissed his way down her neck to her shoulder. “Something about being worried about the weather.”
Posy stilled. “The weather?”
“Yes.”
“Those were her exact words? Damn.” Posy wriggled out from under him and sprang from the bed, cursing as she tripped over their abandoned clothing. “I need to talk to her. Sorry. Bad timing, but this is an emergency.” She ignored the part of herself that was screaming at her to get back into bed with him.
“Since when has bad weather been an emergency?” Luke raised himself up on his elbow, his hair in disarray and his eyes sleepy and sexy. “Could you be overreacting? It snows a lot in New York, although admittedly the heavy snow usually comes after Christmas.”