by Sarah Morgan
To take her mind off Rob and the climb, she thought about that.
She thought about the day when maybe she would have three kids, too. She was going to nurture their individuality and treat them equally.
High above them, the snowflakes that had fallen in the night, so soft and delicate, locked together, increasing the weight and pressure. Those small clusters of ice crystals bonded and hardened, bearing down on the snow layered beneath.
Deep in the snowpack, the bond between the layers of snow weakened until the firm tread of Rob’s boot was all it took to release three hundred thousand cubic meters of snow.
There was no time even to shout a warning.
15
Posy
Three days after Hannah’s arrival, Posy was ready to run away with Luke and not leave a forwarding address. It was turning into the sort of Christmas she’d dreaded, only this time it wasn’t Hannah who was driving her insane, it was Beth.
Her sister was obsessed with the job in Manhattan.
Corinna had called three times in the space of an hour the evening before, while they’d been eating dinner.
Each time Beth had said I have to take this and stood up to take the call until even Suzanne, with her usually limitless patience, became frustrated.
Hannah had said nothing, which also worried Posy.
It wasn’t that Hannah was quiet, because that was often the case. It was more that she seemed vulnerable, and Posy had never seen her sister vulnerable before. She couldn’t forget those red eyes and that pregnancy test, but Hannah hadn’t mentioned it since and Posy didn’t feel comfortable raising the subject.
Was she pregnant or not? Pleased or not?
She knew her parents were worried, too, because she’d seen the looks they’d exchanged. Neither of them knew why Hannah was home early, and when they’d asked Posy, she’d kept her answer suitably neutral. If Hannah was pregnant, then it was up to her to tell people.
She might have suggested she talk to Beth, but Beth didn’t seem able to think about anything other than lipstick.
Posy was relieved to be able to retreat to the peace of the hayloft at the end of the day. This morning she’d returned to the lodge first thing hoping to snatch a quiet breakfast with her mother before they drove to the café.
Luke was planning an expedition to climb Denali the following summer and had invited her to join the team. Posy was excited at the prospect of climbing the highest mountain in North America and seeing Alaska. She was determined to find a way to talk to her mother. How could she turn down an opportunity like this one?
She wasn’t sure if it was the lure of climbing Denali that excited her, or the prospect of spending more time with Luke. She didn’t care. All she knew was that she wanted to do it.
And if she hired someone for the summer to help at the café, maybe she could.
She’d arrived at the lodge determined to have an honest conversation.
Unfortunately, her mother was up late and her sister was up early, which removed any chance of exploiting the quiet time she’d been hoping for.
“What makes you pick up a lipstick?” Beth wandered into the kitchen with a notepad and pen in her hand. In an attempt to try on her new role for size, she’d eschewed Posy’s wardrobe in favor of Hannah’s. Today she wore a black wool dress with high-heeled boots. Her hair was swept up in an elegant knot and her makeup was flawless. For a meeting in London or New York, she would have been perfectly dressed. For a winter’s day in the freezing Highlands, her outfit would have been ridiculous had she been doing anything other than drifting uselessly round the lodge.
Looking at her didn’t improve Posy’s mood.
Having both her sisters home had more than doubled her workload. She had so much to do she barely had time to take a shower and pull her hair into a ponytail, let alone pick out a lipstick.
She’d been on the go since five thirty and she still had to change the bedding in the barn, feed the chickens and take a bale of hay to Socks before she started her shift at the café.
Realizing that Beth was waiting for her answer, she gave a shrug. “The sheep don’t generally care if I wear lipstick. Can you empty the dishwasher?”
“In a minute. My nails are drying, so I can’t do anything manual right now. I want to hear your views on this.” Despite the threat to her nails, Beth stopped to scribble a note to herself. “I am loving this project, by the way. Loving it. I feel like I’m finally doing what I want instead of always being at the bottom of the pile and running round after other people. Do you know what I mean?”
“Not really. I’m still at the bottom of the pile running round after other people.” Posy dealt with the dishwasher herself, crashing plates into the cupboard.
Beth missed the irony. “Can you stop for a moment? I want to ask you questions.”
“No, I can’t stop and I’m not your audience.”
“You’re exactly my audience. This new range I’m working on is for the woman who doesn’t usually wear makeup.” Beth walked across the kitchen and poured herself a coffee. “And who are those women?”
Posy straightened. “Maybe they’re women who have a lot going on in their lives. Possibly a woman who is preparing for a family Christmas single-handed while her sister treats it like a spa break.”
Beth raised her eyebrows. “No need to be moody.”
“I’m not moody. Just busy. And clear that makeup off the table. I’m trying to make breakfast.”
“I’m busy, too. Corinna wants more ideas by start of business, which basically gives me a few hours to do this. I need to understand my audience. What makes a woman reach for makeup in the morning? That’s the key question I’m asking myself.”
Posy’s frustration spilled over like milk that had been left too long on the heat. “Seriously? Beth, you have no idea what’s happening with your kids, your marriage is in trouble and that’s what you’re asking yourself?”
Beth put the mug down and coffee sloshed onto the countertop. “You think my marriage is in trouble?”
“I don’t know, but you and Jason seem to have had a serious breakdown in communication and the reason I suspect that is because he’s there and you’re here.”
“I know.” Beth slumped into the nearest chair. “Why do you think I’m awake at this hour? I can’t sleep. I miss the girls. I miss Jason, and I can’t see how to fix this. There’s not exactly a compromise solution to another baby.”
Posy grabbed a cloth and mopped up the spilled coffee, forcing herself to be patient. What was wrong with her? She never used to be irritable. “You’re not going to fix it by not talking. How many times have you spoken to him since you arrived? Every time the phone goes, it’s Corinna.” It bothered her that her sister’s apparently unshakable marriage had been shaken. It bothered her more than it seemed to bother her sister. Now that the initial what have I done? crisis had passed, all Beth seemed to think about was Corinna and the campaign.
“I haven’t spoken to Jason.” Beth’s voice wobbled a little. “I had that one message from him telling me everything was fine. I’ve been calling every night, but all he says is ‘Hi, Beth,’ and then immediately passes the phone to the girls. He hasn’t even mentioned our fight. I guess he’s mad at me for leaving like that, and I’m still mad at him for saying those things. Also, the phone signal isn’t reliable. I had to call back three times last night. It’s not exactly conducive to deep, honest conversation.”
Posy was only half listening. She was wondering who the father of Hannah’s child was, always assuming she really was pregnant. Was it a one-night stand? She wanted to talk to Beth about it, but it was obvious that Hannah hadn’t told her about the pregnancy test and Posy didn’t feel it was her place to do so. “You have to fix this, Beth.”
“I don’t know how. I may never get another opportunity like this one. For the first time i
n years, someone wants me for something other than my parenting skills. And not just ‘anyone,’ but Corinna! Do you have any idea how flattering that is? She is not an easy person to please.”
“That’s obvious, given the number of times she called during dinner last night.”
“Yes, and she wants me. I’m going to be the one jetting to the West Coast and sitting in a lunch meeting where I don’t have to cut up anyone’s food.”
Posy didn’t understand the appeal, but she did know about wanting something different. “You’re sure this is what you want?”
“Yes. For a start, it will make me more interesting.”
Posy wondered if she should point out that all this talk of lipstick was boring her to tears.
She watched as Beth stood up and went to top up her coffee.
“Leave some for Mom.”
But Beth’s head was back in the job she didn’t yet have and wasn’t being paid for. “The way I see it, my audience is divided broadly into two groups. Those women who have never worn makeup, and those who have worn it in the past but lapsed for some reason. Those lapsed users are going to be a key audience because they have greater potential. I have some great ideas, and I’m almost ready to present them to the team. And for that I need a reliable signal. I can’t have it cutting out the way it does when I’m talking to Melly and Ruby.”
“It’s pretty good from the top of the henhouse.” Posy eyed her sister’s boots. “Or you could stand on the far wall of the field Socks is in, but you might need to change your footwear.”
“You know what? Maybe I’ll do that.” Beth sipped her coffee. “Whatever it takes to get the job done, right? I’m going to prove to everyone I can do this. Corinna is going to be blown away.”
Posy thought to herself that if her sister stood on top of the henhouse to make her call she was likely to be the one blown away. “For what it’s worth, I think it’s great that you’ve been at home with the girls. Lucky them, I say. And lucky you, being able to do it.”
“I know, but before I had Melly, my career was equal to Jason’s. We were earning the same. And now he’s pulling ahead.”
“Is it a race? I assumed you were a team, rather than competition.”
“He’s doing better than me.”
“That depends on how you define ‘better.’ You’re a good mother.”
“Am I? How do you measure good performance in parenting? You don’t get a raise or a promotion. My girls aren’t exactly saintly.”
“But they feel loved and secure.” Posy flushed. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Family is the most important thing in the world to you—we all know that. That, and the climbing, is the reason you’ve never left here and you never will. And I understand that, but I think I need more.”
Posy took a deep breath. “Actually, on that subject—”
“You don’t need to explain it or excuse it. We all want different things, and that’s okay. I understand the importance of family, too. You’re there for all those special moments. You’re there to catch them when they take their first steps, to listen when they say their first words—”
Posy gave up. Right now it was impossible to get her sister to listen to anything except the sound of her own voice.
“If being there is so important, why are you in such a hurry to go back to work?”
“I’m ready for something more. I’m feeling such an incredible buzz it’s almost a physical thing.”
“It is a physical thing. It’s called caffeine.” Posy removed the mug from her sister’s hand. “Enough.”
“It is so great to be working again.”
Working?
As far as Posy could see, all her sister had done so far was put on makeup and high heels and stalk around the house with a notepad, muttering to herself.
Were people programmed to want the life they weren’t living? Was it natural to question your choices?
Beth tilted her head and studied Posy. “Can I do your makeup?”
“Only if you can do it while I’m moving. I have a ton of things to do.”
“No problem. You’re on the go and too busy for makeup.” Beth grabbed her bag. “That is the USP of this range.”
“USP? What does that mean?” Posy put the milk back in the fridge. “Unbelievably Stupid and Pointless?”
“Unique selling point.” Beth pursed her lips. “You’re not taking this seriously, but I am not going to fight with you. Nothing can annoy me today.”
“It’s only seven o’clock. The day is young. If nothing is going to annoy you, then this is a good time for me to tell you you’re making supper. The ingredients are in the fridge.”
“I’m giving myself a break from cooking. I cook for the girls and Jason every night—”
“Good. That means you’ve had plenty of practice. And remember, I don’t like carrots.”
“Unless you let me do your makeup I’ll make carrot soup, followed by carrot casserole, with carrot cake for dessert.”
“Fine, do my makeup.” Posy slammed the dishwasher shut. “But remember, I’m a simple country girl, living my simple country life.” The only life she was ever going to live. Maybe she should run off with Luke. Rent a cabin in Alaska and spend her days avoiding moose and bears, and her nights having hot sex. “You have two minutes.”
She tried not to fidget while Beth worked. “Don’t make me look like a clown.”
“It’s going to look as if you’re not wearing any.”
“If it’s going to look as if I’m not wearing any, why bother wearing any?”
“Stop talking. I can’t do this if your face keeps moving. You were exactly the same when you were little and I tried to do your makeup.”
“It’s as bad as I remember it. Also, it isn’t going to last five minutes.”
“Ha! This lipstick is exactly what you need. According to the reviews, nothing budges it. You can kiss every man propping up the bar in the Glensay Inn and you will still be wearing this lipstick.”
“I don’t want to kiss anyone in the Glensay Inn—”
“Posy!”
Posy clamped her lips closed and tried not to wrinkle her nose as she felt the stroke and sweep of Beth’s fingers, followed by the flick of various brushes. She followed instructions to close her eyes, open her eyes, look down, pout—
“If I get teased by the team, I’m coming after you.” She turned her head as her father walked into the kitchen. “Hi, Dad.” She waved Beth and her makeup brushes away. “Where’s Mom?”
“Dad!” Beth sprinted across the kitchen and hugged him.
Stewart hugged her back, staring at Posy over Beth’s shoulder. “What happened to your face?”
“My sister happened to my face. Is something wrong with Mom?”
“She’s not feeling well.” He let go of Beth. “Her temperature is through the roof. I’ve persuaded her to stay in bed.”
“Oh no. Is it flu?”
Beth put the makeup back on the table. “She shouldn’t have taken that chicken soup to Vicky.”
“There is no way Mom would ever ignore a friend in need.” Posy grabbed a tray from the counter. “I’ll make her something to eat and take it up.”
“I don’t think she’ll want to eat.”
“Drink, then.” Posy dumped ice in a jug of water and added slices of lemon. Her mother was never ill. Maybe anxiety about Beth and Hannah had weakened her mother’s immune system. Could that happen? “Should we call the doctor?”
“Not yet.”
“You look exhausted. Sit down.” Posy pushed him gently into a chair. “Beth will make you breakfast. How about scrambled eggs on toast? Martha laid this morning and I saved the eggs for you. They’re in the bowl, Beth.”
Beth was scribbling in her notepad. “I just need to—”
“You need to make
Dad an omelet. Here’s the pan.” Posy thrust it at her sister, together with a box of eggs. The way she felt right now, if Beth didn’t step up, she’d be cracking those eggs over her head, and not because her sister had once told her it was a perfect treatment for hair.
She stomped up the stairs and met Hannah at the top.
“Hi, Posy. I don’t suppose you could—”
“No, I couldn’t. My to-do list is already longer than Santa’s.” Guilt stopped her in her tracks. She’d been wanting Hannah to talk to her, but the timing couldn’t have been worse. “Sorry. Bit of a morning. Are you okay? What did you want?”
“Nothing. Forget it.” Hannah walked back into her room and Posy stared after her, exasperated with her sister and furious with herself. She shouldn’t have snapped. This would have been a perfect time to be caring and concerned and find out the result of that test.
Hearing coughing, she hurried to her parents’ bedroom.
Her mother was doubled over.
Posy crossed the room in a flash and set the tray down. Everyone else vanished from her mind as she rubbed her mother’s back. “I’m going to make you hot honey and lemon to see if that will help the cough.” She put her hand on her mother’s forehead and was alarmed by how hot she felt.
“Don’t come near me.” Suzanne’s voice was rasping. “You’ll catch it. And you don’t need to make me a drink. I’m getting up so I can make it myself.”
“You’re staying right there. And I won’t catch it. I don’t stand still long enough for germs to land on me.”
“I can’t stay in bed. There’s too much to do.” Suzanne tried to sit up but immediately fell back on the pillow. “I feel so weak. I can’t believe the timing of this, with Christmas so close.”
Posy sympathized, but she knew her mother’s best chance of recovery was to stay in bed. “You can give me a list of things that need doing.” She tried not to think about the list she already had. If she took a few shortcuts, she could handle it.
“All right.” Suzanne broke into another fit of coughing. “There’s a pen and pad over on the table.”