by Marta Perry
“I wasn’t trying to interfere in your shop,” she said, her smooth brow furrowing. “I just wanted to encourage Becky.”
He stopped, his hand on the harness he was about to lift down. “I know. That doesn’t upset me.”
Her lips curved in a slight smile, but her eyes still looked a bit worried. “I thought that something did. Upset you, I mean.”
“Nothing.” He wrenched his gaze away from her, staring at the harness. There was something that should be said, and maybe then things would be easier between them. “I wasn’t upset . . . I was just thinking about what happened between us. I mean—”
“I know what you mean.” She rushed the words, as if to keep him from spelling it out. “It’s all right.”
“I should apologize,” he said, although he had a suspicion he didn’t really regret that kiss. “I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s all right,” she said again, her cheeks flooding with color that made her so pretty he wanted to kiss her again. “We should just pretend it didn’t happen, ain’t so?”
“Ja, we should.”
But he didn’t think he’d be forgetting anytime soon.
In Pleasant Valley, Wednesday was an early closing day for shops. No one quite seemed to know why, as far as Katie could tell, but everyone did it. So she flipped her sign to CLOSED, pulled down the shade, and tried to ignore the fact that Caleb was doing exactly the same thing.
They’d agreed to forget what had happened between them. She knew that was for the best. Unfortunately, she was finding it more difficult than she’d have believed possible.
Spending the afternoon with Molly making rhubarb and strawberry jam was just the distraction she needed. And since the shop was closed, she didn’t have to worry about leaving Rhoda in charge.
“Is Rhoda about ready to go?” Caleb asked. He didn’t seem to have had any trouble getting back to normal toward her, and for a fleeting moment she resented that.
“Ja, here I am.” Feet clattered on the stairs, and Rhoda rushed across the shop. “Denke, Caleb.”
Rhoda was spending the afternoon with Becky, so Caleb had said he’d drive her there when he went home. The plan was for Katie to pick her up after supper.
“Have a gut time.” Katie bit her lip to keep from adding Mamm’s usual warnings to behave properly and not embarrass the family.
“I will.” Rhoda sparkled at the prospect of a break in routine. “And you, too. Say hello to Cousin Molly for me.”
“Ja.” Katie gave Rhoda a quick hug, and then watched as the two of them walked out the back. Silly, maybe, but she’d let them get on their way before she went out to harness the mare. It would mean one less conversation with Caleb.
She busied herself putting a bag of sugar in a basket along with jars and jar lids. Molly was providing the rhubarb and strawberries. The least she could do was supply some of the sugar they’d need.
In a few more minutes, she was on her way. The steady clop of the mare’s hooves combined with the warm breeze and the scent of growing plants to ease her heart. It was foolish to be anxious when God had given her so many blessings. The hay looked near ready for a cutting in the fields, and dogwood blossoms brightened the woods. A dairy herd grazed, contented, in a pasture near the road.
By the time Katie reached Molly’s, the stress of the past few days had slipped away, and she was glad to see it go.
Molly, her sleeves turned back, was busy at the sink washing the long pink stalks of rhubarb. Sarah Mast stood nearby, chopping the stalks.
“Ach, you are way ahead of me already.” Katie set her basket on the table. “Sarah, I’m ser glad you are here. So, no babies decided to arrive today?”
“Not yet,” Sarah said, the knife pausing in its chopping. “But tomorrow night is the full moon, so it wouldn’t surprise me to see a spate of them in the next few days.”
“At least it’s not snowing, like it was when our Jacob was born. I will never forget that.” Molly sent a fond glance toward the playpen where young Jacob was pushing himself up on chubby arms.
“Ach, look at that fine strong boy.” Katie knelt to smile at him. “He’ll be crawling all over the place before you know it. Molly, he has dimples just like yours.”
Molly grinned, her own dimples showing. “His daadi says the girls will be chasing him, for sure.”
“They grow so fast,” Sarah said, and Katie thought she caught a twinge of sorrow in her tone. And that was definitely a wistful look in her face.
“You and Aaron might . . .” Molly began, but she let the words trail away. Sarah would marry Aaron, Molly’s oldest brother, come November. It was common knowledge that Sarah’s first marriage hadn’t produced any children.
“Ja. Maybe.” Sarah moved over so that Katie could join the assembly line, putting the chopped rhubarb into a bowl and stirring in sugar.
“I try not to think about it too much,” Sarah continued. Her lips trembled for a moment, and she pressed them together. “I would like to have Aaron’s boppli, but it will be as God wills.”
“I understand.” Katie tried to concentrate on the movement of the wooden spoon in the heavy earthenware bowl, but it was no use. Sarah’s words spoke too much to her own heart. And she knew these two as well as she knew anyone in Pleasant Valley—well enough to feel sure she could say anything to them. “I think about that sometimes. I don’t regret not marrying, but it sorrows me to think of never having a child.”
“You could still marry,” Sarah said. “Look at me. I surely thought marrying again was out of the question. Who would want to wed a midwife and put up with all the crazy hours? And one who was probably barren, besides? But Aaron changed my mind.” Her face softened, seeming to glow with an inner joy.
“I have to admit that my cousin Aaron is a special man. But . . .” Katie paused for a moment. Funny, that she hadn’t spoken of Eli to anyone in such a long time until she came to Pleasant Valley. Now, it seemed, she kept finding reasons to talk.
“But?” Sarah glanced at her, and then she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry. I know how much it hurt you when Eli married your friend, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy again.”
“How can I? I loved Eli. I promised to love him all my life. How can I just stop loving him?” Katie gave the spoon such a turn that pieces of rhubarb flew out of the bowl, landing on the counter. She managed a shaky laugh. “Ach, you see how foolish I am.”
“It’s never foolish to love.” Sarah clasped Katie’s hand, sticky from the rhubarb. “I don’t regret loving my husband, even though that love turned to sadness when I couldn’t give him a child. I thought I could never love anyone else. But the heart heals, in time. I found my heart had room enough to love again. I pray that you’ll find that, too.”
“Denke, Sarah.” Katie whispered the words, grateful that Sarah cared.
Molly sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Stop it, you two, or we’ll be crying all over this jam.”
“Ja, you’re right.” Katie managed a smile. “But that’s the joy of a work frolic, ain’t so? With no men around, we can say things we’d never say when they are here.”
“They probably do the same when they’re together, don’t you think?” Sarah said.
“Ja, but they’re not talking about us.” Molly smiled. “At least not about love.” She set the water and pectin to boil on the stove. “About engines and horses and jokes they couldn’t say in mixed company, I bet.”
Sarah chuckled. “You might be right about that. And they for sure wouldn’t want to hear us when we start talking about having babies. Trust me. More than once I’ve had to stop helping the mother long enough to push the daadi’s head between his knees so he wouldn’t pass out.”
“You wouldn’t want to name any names, would you?” Molly’s eyes sparkled with amusement.
“The midwife never tells,” Sarah said solemnly.
They all laughed, and Katie was relieved that the mood had lightened. She ne
eded time to think about what Sarah had said.
She thought she knew herself too well to have any doubts. She’d settled here in Pleasant Valley to get away from Eli and Jessica. How odd that being here had made her think about them even more. If Sarah was right . . .
But Katie knew herself too well for that, didn’t she? How could she offer anyone second place in her heart?
She was probably a little more silent than usual for the rest of the afternoon, but the other two women more than made up for it, chattering their way through cleaning, mixing, boiling, ladling, until rows and rows of jars glowed with their ruby contents.
Then came the usual argument about how many jars each one should take. Katie and Sarah finally won that battle, insisting that Molly keep the largest share.
“It’s not as if I have a family to use up the jam,” Katie pointed out, arranging a dish towel over the jars that filled her basket. “Rhoda and I can’t eat more than this.”
Sarah and Molly exchanged glances. “About Rhoda,” Molly said, and came to a stop, as if not sure how to go on.
Katie’s heart grew heavy in her chest. This was not something good, she could tell. “What about Rhoda?”
“I know it’s not true,” Molly said quickly, “but someone in the church got a letter from a relative who lives near your parents with a ridiculous story about Rhoda running around and getting into trouble with some Englisch kids.” She held out her hand toward Katie. “I’m sorry, but I thought you would want to know.”
“Ja. I do.” Katie let out a breath. She’d known this would happen, sooner or later. “If folks are talking, it’s best that we know.”
“There’s no denying that some women are blabbermauls,” Molly said fiercely. “To go around repeating something like that, probably exaggerating it at every turn—well, it’s unfair and unkind, and that’s what I said to the person who repeated it to me.”
“Denke, Molly.” Katie clasped her cousin’s hand. “But I don’t want you getting upset about it. The truth is that Mamm was a bit worried about Rhoda’s rumspringa, but it’s nothing all that bad.”
Now that she’d heard Rhoda’s story, Katie could say that with all confidence. Mamm, with her secrecy, had made Katie imagine all kinds of things. And Rhoda had too much common sense to make the same mistake again.
“That’s why your parents wanted her to stay with you.” Sarah’s voice was warm with sympathy. “To give her a fresh start. And now the gossip has followed her here.”
“Well, we all know how the Amish grapevine works.” Katie managed a smile. “She’d have to go to the moon to get clear away from it. But I hoped she’d have a little more time to make friends and get settled before it came out. She’s a gut girl, and she deserves a chance to show it.”
“For sure she is,” Molly said firmly. “And so I’ll say to anyone I hear talking differently. I just hate to see Rhoda hurt.”
Katie’s heart winced. “So do I.” She turned away, not wanting anyone to see the tears in her eyes, and picked up her basket. “I’d best get on home. If Rhoda has learned any of this . . . well, I need to be there for her.”
It wasn’t far into the village from Molly’s, but it felt like forever as Katie drove, her thoughts twisting and turning. She prayed that Rhoda hadn’t already heard this tale from someone else. Better for her to be forewarned, wasn’t it? Let her get all her anger out at Katie, if need be.
Katie’s heart quailed at the idea of trying to tell her little sister that people were talking about her. She’d had enough of that herself, when she and Eli broke up. People had been sorry for her. She’d hated that, but how much worse to have people condemning you.
Should she head straight for the Brand place? That was her immediate instinct, but they weren’t expecting her anywhere near this early. Rhoda would be upset, having her time there cut short, and Katie would be forced either to tell her right away or to give some false reason for picking her up early.
Katie clucked to the mare, who had slowed down thanks to her driver’s distraction. No, neither of those choices was suitable. She’d have to wait until six o’clock, at least, and pray that no one said anything to Rhoda in the meantime.
Katie was still worrying at it when she pulled into the lane and up to the stable. The men had finished their work in the back, but the area was still a bit wet. Maybe by tomorrow they’d be able to let the horses out.
A few minutes later Katie was unlocking the back door. She’d go upstairs, heat up some soup for her supper, and try to calm her thoughts before she went to pick up Rhoda.
But when she reached the top of the stairs, she knew it was already too late. Rhoda sat stiffly in the rocking chair, her face tight, her eyes suspiciously red. Katie held out her arms. For an instant Rhoda didn’t move. Then she bolted across the room and flung herself into Katie’s embrace.
Katie held her, rocking her back and forth a little, murmuring soothing words. It was as if this little sister of hers was four or five again, crying because she’d tried to climb the apple tree after Louise and fallen.
The words weren’t important to Rhoda, probably. Just the sound of love and the feel of caring arms mattered. They were all Katie could offer. She prayed they would be enough.
Finally the crying ebbed. Rhoda drew back a little, trying to wipe her face with her hands. “I ... I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to cry, but . . .”
“Hush, now.” Katie smoothed Rhoda’s hair back from her face. Her heart twisted. Rhoda had looked so happy, so settled, when she’d left with Caleb. Now . . . “It’s all right. We cry when someone has hurt us. It’s all right to cry.”
Rhoda nodded, choking on another sob.
“Komm.” Katie guided her toward the sofa. “We’ll sit here together, and you’ll tell me all about it. And we’ll figure out how to make it better.”
Rhoda sat down beside her, but she shook her head, tears spurting out again. “Nothing will make it better. Nothing.”
“Tell me what happened.” Please, dear Father, guide me to say the right words to my sister.
Rhoda sniffled, shook her head, and choked back a sob. “At first everything was fine. Becky and I helped her mamm with the dishes, and she said why didn’t we make some fudge or maybe fix some chips and dip. So we did.”
“Sounds like fun.” It had been a long time since Katie had made fudge with her little sisters. They’d always let the smallest one spread butter on the oval platter where they’d pour the fudge to cool.
Rhoda nodded. “I always have fun with Becky. She’s not so quiet when you get to know her. But then . . . then two of her friends came over, and when they saw I was there, one of them said her mamm wouldn’t like her to be there with me. Because . . . because . . .”
Katie was tempted to fill in the rest, but maybe it was better to let Rhoda tell it the way she wanted. She patted her sister’s hand and waited.
“Her mamm had a letter from Anna Hirsh, back home.” Rhoda sniffed with contempt rather than tears. “You know what a blabbermaul she is. She gave some garbled story about all the trouble I got into. She made it sound so much worse than it was. And Becky’s friend said they shouldn’t stay if I was there.”
Anger burned through Katie . . . an emotion she’d have to repent of, for sure, but at the moment it felt good. “Is that why you’re home early? Did Becky . . .”
“No! No, Becky was great.” Rhoda’s eyes flashed. “You should have heard her. I didn’t think she could, but Becky told that girl off and said that if she didn’t want to be around me, she could just leave. So they did.”
“It sounds as if Becky is a gut friend. So why did you leave, then? Did her mamm or her onkel say something?”
Rhoda shook her head. “Everybody was nice. But I could see that they were looking at me and wondering. It was just like when it happened, knowing people were talking about me and making the story worse with every telling.”
“Not all people,” Katie said quickly. “Not Becky.”
“N
ot Becky.” Rhoda’s expression eased. “But I just felt like I couldn’t sit there and pretend it didn’t happen. I wanted to be home. With you. And when I said that, Caleb went and harnessed the horse and brought me.”
Caleb. Well, he’d probably been eager to get her out of his brother’s house. “Did Caleb say anything to you?”
“That I shouldn’t mind what those girls said. That nobody would pay attention to them, and having Becky as a friend was better than having ten of them.”
That surprised Katie into an involuntary chuckle. “He’s probably right about that.”
“Ja, I guess so. But I thought . . . I hoped ... nobody in Pleasant Valley would find out about what I did. Now they’ll tell everyone and it’ll be just as bad as it was at home.”
“Maybe not.” Katie put an arm around Rhoda’s shoulders. “And even if they do talk for a while, they’ll get over it. I think most people will judge you by what they’ve seen since you’ve been here, and not some garbled story they’ve heard about what happened somewhere else.”
“Do you think so?” Faint hope appeared in Rhoda’s face.
“I hope so. I pray so.” Katie hugged her. “Whatever happens, you have a gut friend. And you have a sister who loves you and trusts you. Is that enough for a while?”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go back home? If it’s going to hurt your business . . . well, you could tell Mamm, and she would take me back.” Rhoda lifted her chin a bit, but her lips trembled.
“I want you here with me.” The words were firm, and a little surprising, even to Katie. But they felt right. “This is where you belong, as long as you want to stay.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Maybe this was the wrong thing to do, but Caleb couldn’t get Rhoda’s tearful face out of his mind. So here he was at the back door of the shop, hesitating, not knowing whether to stay or go.
He shouldn’t just unlock the door and walk into the shop, for sure. Katie would be alarmed, hearing someone down there in the evening.
He should leave. He was the last person Katie would want to see now. She might even be thinking that he was the one who’d told about Rhoda.