“Hey, dude. Where you been? Missing an awesome party.” There was a slur in his voice that I was pretty sure was more acting, since I’d only seen him nurse one beer over the last hour.
“Yeah, looks like it.” Giff’s voice was arch with meaning. If I hadn’t known he was in on this plan, his tone would have hurt.
“You okay to drive, Jack?” My breath caught. That was Liam speaking, the first time I’d heard his voice in nearly two months. He didn’t sound jealous or angry, but possibly just a tad...concerned. About me? Maybe.
“Not driving, we’ll walk.” Jack pulled me down another step. “Later, man.”
I didn’t want to leave. Liam was on that porch, and even though I knew I didn’t love him, even though he’d humiliated me, bruised my heart, I still wanted to be near him. I wanted to slap him, but at the same time, I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and feel him lay his cheek on the top of my head, as he always did. I craved that feeling of security like a drug, even if the security Liam had offered me had been a total illusion.
But I couldn’t go back. Jack was much stronger than me, and he was dragging me along. He didn’t stop until we hit the sidewalk.
“You okay?” His voice was gruff, and I sensed I was making him very uncomfortable. I didn’t know why. And then I felt the trickle of tears down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry.” I tried to say it, but instead, I was sobbing. Jack pulled me to him, and I wept against his solid chest.
“Hey, c’mon. Don’t do that. Crying freaks guys out.”
I half-laughed through my tears. “I know. I didn’t mean to, I’m really sorry. It just—I hadn’t seen him since—and I guess it was harder than I thought.”
“Yeah, guys are assholes.” Jack said it with such cheery assurance that I laughed again, wiping at my face as I pulled away from him.
“Jules, what’s wrong?” Ava was at my side.
“Where’d you come from?” I glanced around, but no one else stood near us.
“I went out the back and circled around after I saw Giff and Liam come in. Did he say something to you?” I heard the anger in her usually calm voice.
“No. No, he didn’t say anything.” I took a deep breath to stave off another round of tears. “And Jack was freaking amazing.”
In the dim light coming from a street lamp, Jack grinned. “I was, wasn’t I?” He lowered his voice, though there was no one nearby to hear. “Don’t tell anyone, but I take drama classes. In town. I’m part of a club. That’s where Giff and I got to be friends.”
“Well, color me impressed.” I patted his arm. “You rocked that. You sounded like you were drunk, and I’m sure it looked like we were making out on the porch.”
“Yeah.” He stood back a little and looked me over, up and down. Although I’d felt safe and comfortable with him up to now, I felt a whole different vibe as he checked me out.
“You know, you ever want to get together for real, no audience...” He let his words trail off, but the suggestion was obvious. I moved closer to Ava.
“Thanks, Jack, and I really do appreciate you doing this tonight, but I think we’re probably meant to be friends.” I ventured close enough to just kiss his cheek. “You just might be too much man for me.”
He smirked and nodded. “Yeah, could be. Okay, you girls all right to get back to your room, or you want me to walk you? I’m going to another party in town.”
“We’re good. Thanks, Jack.” Ava answered for us, and Jack sketched a wave as he jogged off in the other direction.
Ava turned to me. “Want to stop at Beans?”
I pulled my coat tighter around me. “Let’s go back to the dorm. I don’t think I can handle anything else tonight. Being a vixen is exhausting.”
I spent most of the weekend catching up on homework and setting up our new blog. Kristen came over to help me, and I was grateful for her expertise.
“I had an idea.” She was sitting on the floor, shoes off and legs tucked beneath her. “What if we made a Facebook page for our blog, and that’s where we put out the word about wanting girls’ stories? Between that and word of mouth, it could give us a decent start.”
“Sounds good. And I talked to Amy. She’ll run an ad for us on-line, saying we’re collecting stories for research purposes. No names, of course—ours or theirs.” Our school newspaper had gone paperless two years before, and Amy, who was now the editor, had been a driving force in that move. I’d worked with her since my freshman year.
“What is your goal with this blog?” Ava turned around from her desk, studying us. “What do you hope to accomplish?”
Kristen and I looked at each other. “I guess...just raising awareness. Giving girls an outlet for telling what happened to them.”
“It made me feel better to know I wasn’t the only one this happened to, when I talked to Kristen. So maybe it can be helpful to others in that way, too.”
Ava nodded. “That makes sense. You might want to think about promoting it to the guys, too. Seeing the fallout wouldn’t hurt them.”
“Good point.” I made a note. “We need to keep it all anonymous. I don’t want anyone sending us hate mail.”
“True.” Kristen stood and stretched. “I’ll work on the blog set up tonight. You’ll write the intro, the first post?”
“Sure.” I walked with her to the door and jumped back as Giff stood there, his hand raised to knock.
“Whoa.” He looked nearly as startled as me. “Didn’t know I was expected.”
“You weren’t.” I pulled him into the room. “Giff, this is my friend Kristen. Kristen, Gifford Mackay.”
Ava stood up. “Did you bring those forms back to me, Giff?”
“Um, yeah.” Giff glanced at Kristen and then at Ava. “But can I talk to you about them first?”
I gave Kristen a bright, on-your-way smile. “Okay, well, see you in class Thursday! Text me if anything comes up with the project.”
She nodded, looking more than a little mystified as she left. I shut the door behind her with a sigh. My life was getting way too complicated. Giff couldn’t know about the blog, and Kristen didn’t have the full story on Giff’s let’s-get-these-crazy-kids-back-together scheme. And neither of them knew about my revenge plans. It was exhausting.
“So.” Ava pushed Giff into her desk chair and sat down on her own bed. “Tell all. Did Liam say anything about Jules and Jack last night?”
Giff grinned, not a little smugly. “He definitely saw them. He wasn’t happy, but he was being cool. He asked me later if I’d heard anything about you and Jack. I played dumb.”
“What did he say, exactly?” I knew I was torturing myself, but I had to know.
“He said, ‘So, Duncan and Julia? When did that happen?’ And when I told him I didn’t know, I hadn’t heard anything, he said, ‘I hope she knows what she’s doing. He’s out of her league.’”
I frowned. “‘Out of my league’? What is that supposed to mean?”
Giff shrugged. “Come on, Jules, you said it yourself the other day. Jack’s got a rep. Anyone who hangs with him is going to get one, too.” He winked at me. “Sorry, kiddo. If you’re going through with this, your halo may take some dings.”
I winced. Dating Liam had taken me out of obscurity in the social microcosm that was Birch College. The way he’d dumped me had given me a certain level of notoriety, but still, most people didn’t know who I was. I wasn’t sure I didn’t like that.
“Are you ready for our next adventure? I promise this one is easier.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. What is it?”
Giff spread out his hands. “Eating dinner in the dining hall. Something you should be doing anyway.”
“And...?” I raised an eyebrow.
Giff sighed. “Well, you’ll be eating with some company. Three guys from the football team.”
I dropped my head into one hand. “Giff, really? And I have a question. How are you getting these guys to help us? I’m starting to worry about you a
nd your favor system. Jack really took his job seriously. What did you promise him? Or threaten him with?”
He shook his head. “That’s not for you to worry about. Hey, I’m a nice person, and I’m very popular, you know. I do favors. Help people out. So they’re more than happy to do the same for me.”
“Hmmm.” I remained unconvinced. “But what happens after this? How many times will I have to show up in public with a different guy before Liam cracks? If it even works.”
“Jules, did you expect him to fall at your feet and beg for forgiveness the first time he saw you with another guy?” Ava smiled.
“A girl can hope. If he really missed me...” I shook my head. “No. I didn’t. But I have to be honest, Giff. I don’t think this is going to work. I could parade all over campus for months with every guy you know, and if Liam isn’t interested, it won’t make a difference. Except at the end, I’ll be known as the biggest slut at Birch.”
“Hey, hey, I said your halo might take some dings. I’d never let anyone call you a ‘ho.” Giff looked affronted. “And after this dinner, you won’t have to do anything for a while. I have some people who are set up to talk about you.” He reached across and patted my knee. “Don’t worry, they won’t be saying anything bad. Just dropping your name here and there. Along with other names. In a positive way.”
“Giff, have you considered going into public relations?” Ava had her scheming eyes on. “You’d be a natural.”
“Eh, poli sci, PR, same difference. I’ll just be spinning shit on a national level instead of for celebs.” He stood and squeezed my shoulder. “And you can say you knew me when. Right?”
“Assuming I live through this, sure.”
Giff rolled his eyes. “Oh, the melodrama. Seriously, Jules, leave that to me. I do it so much better.” He slung a bright red scarf around his neck. “Now if you lovely ladies will excuse me, I have a date tonight.”
“Really? Do we know him?” I smiled in spite of myself. Giff made me uneasy at times, no question, but I still loved him to death.
“Nope, I doubt it. And I don’t want to say any more, ‘cause I might jinx it.”
“Have fun, be safe!” Ava called as he closed the door with a parting wave.
I curled up on my bed, tucking one hand beneath the pillow. Outside it was gray and dreary, matching my mood.
“Shakespeare had it right,” I murmured.
“Of course he did, but about what, in particular?” Ava had taken a book into bed with her and mirrored my position, snuggled under the covers.
“Weather reflects the human condition.”
“Oh, yup. That’s true. So you’re feeling gloomy?”
“I guess.”
“Hmm.” She rolled to her back and propped the textbook on her stomach. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about blogs or ex-boyfriends. Just as I was about to doze off, Ava spoke again.
“That guy you were talking to Friday night. Dr. Fleming’s son? He’s cute.”
I sighed. “He really is. And you didn’t even see the dimples.”
“There were dimples?”
“There were.”
“Oh, man.” She shifted, punching her pillow and bunching it under her head. “You seemed like you were getting along when Jack and I interrupted.”
I groaned and pulled the covers over my head. “He probably thinks I’m insane. I got all flustered when you guys came out. And then I went off with Jack, without explaining anything. I mean, what could I tell him?” I squeezed my eyes shut. A headache was beginning to form in my temples. “Just one more person thinking I’m nuts.”
“Jules, you know, you can call this off any time. Tell Giff to cease and desist.”
“I know. But...I’m not ready yet. When I saw Liam Friday night—well, when I didn’t see him, when I heard him—that hurt felt all new and shiny again. If he had looked at me, Ave, if he had just said my name, I’m afraid I would have gone right back to him. I want to get over that.”
“Okay.” Her voice was gentle. “Just know, I’m behind you, whatever you want to do.”
“Julia...”
I had dozed off, and Liam’s voice in my ear brought me around. I smiled, my eyes still closed.
“Time to wake up.”
I snuggled closer to his warmth, breathing in his scent. “Don’t want to.”
He laughed, and I heard it deep in his chest. Desire surged low within me. I crept my fingers up to trace his pecs, trail down to his stomach.
Liam sucked in his breath as I moved lower. He caught my hand just as it skimmed the waistband of his shorts.
“We’re supposed to go to that brunch. You’re not helping me want to go.”
“Hmm. What time is it? Did the alarm ring?”
“About half an hour ago. You turned it off.” He brushed his lips across my ear, and I shivered.
“Why didn’t you wake me up before?”
“I was enjoying the view.” He moved his mouth to my shoulder, inching the blanket lower, and I remembered I had slept without anything on. Warmth spread from my face even lower.
Ava was away for the weekend, at some sort of conference for psychology students. It had been a huge honor for her to be selected to represent Birch, and I was thrilled for her, but I was even happier that she was in St. Louis for four days, giving Liam and me rare nights alone.
“Remind me why we’re getting out of bed to eat some lousy food?” Liam’s hands had joined his mouth, and I gasped as he fastened on my breast.
His tongue circled the nipple before he spoke. “Plans made before I knew Ava was going to be gone. God, you’re beautiful.” He shifted, moving on top of me, and I could feel that we weren’t getting out of bed any time soon...
I woke with a gasp, my heart beating in my ears and my body flushed. I hadn’t dreamt of Liam often in the past few months, and mostly it was nonsense, crazy stuff without rhyme or reason. But this had been a memory, so real I nearly turned in bed and reached for him.
The dream stayed with me for the rest of the day. I was preoccupied, and every nerve was close to the surface. I nearly rear-ended the car in front of me on the way to work.
“Are you okay?” Sarah peered at me, a frown etched on her face. “You look...not right.”
“Ah, just a late night. School work, I mean.” The Flemings had met Liam while we were dating and were aware that we had broken up, but I hadn’t shared details. Although my social life or lack thereof wasn’t a subject we ever discussed, I still didn’t want my employers thinking I was out partying all the time.
“You sure you’re not coming down with something?” Sarah didn’t look convinced.
“No. I mean, yes, I’m sure.” I stooped down and picked up Desmond. “Nothing a little Des love won’t take care of.” I nuzzled his sweet baby neck.
“Okay, then.” Sarah put on her coat. “I have a late consult, and then I’m meeting Danny for dinner. So Jesse is going to take over on Des duty at five.” She leaned over and gave her son a smacking kiss. “Love you, baby boy. Be good for Julia.”
“Wove you, too, Mommy!” He waved as Sarah shut the door behind her.
“Want to build with some blocks, buddy?” I set Desmond on his feet and followed him to the toy corner. He dumped the bin onto the tile floor with a crash, and I sat down cross-legged to help him create.
Knowing I was going to see Jesse later gave me a warm buzz. I crossed paths with him now and then here at his dad’s, though I’d yet to see him on campus since our chat at the fraternity. He stopped into the house to see Des or raid the fridge, but he never hung out with us very long. He kept things friendly with me, but just a tad aloof, and I wondered what he might have heard about me at the frat party.
Probably better, I thought with an inward sigh. Those dimples are deadly.
When nap time came, it took four books to lull the three-year old to sleep, and I very nearly joined him, snuggled up to his sturdy warmth. My eyes were almost closed when I heard a door close downstairs
.
I eased away from Desmond and slipped down the steps. As I turned the corner, I saw Jesse in the kitchen, taking off his coat and hanging it over a chair.
“Hey.” I spoke just loud enough for him to hear me, but still, he turned, startled.
“Oh, hi, Julia.” He glanced around and then lowered his voice. “Is the munchkin sleeping?”
“Yeah, I just got him down.” I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans and rocked back on my heels a little.
“Cool. Sarah said you stay until five, right? I know he’s sleeping, and if you need to take off, go ahead, but I’d like to get some work done if you don’t mind hanging out.”
“I planned to be here until then anyway, so that works.” I pointed to the pan on the stove. “I made Des mac and cheese for lunch. You want some before I put it away?”
Jesse grinned. “Mac and cheese, my favorite. You going to have some, too?”
I hadn’t been hungry earlier, but scooping the pale yellow noodles onto a plate for Jesse made my stomach rumble. I pulled out another plate and zapped both servings in the microwave before setting them on the table.
We ate in silence for a few minutes. I had expected tension or at least awkwardness, but it was actually quite peaceful and comfortable.
“Did you make this from scratch or from a box?” Jesse swallowed another huge mouthful.
“Please. A box? Don’t insult me.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m impressed. It’s delicious.” He forked another few noodles. “I don’t know many people who cook. My mom, she can’t even boil water. And my sister lives on junk food and take-out.”
“Sarah cooks,” I pointed out. “I mean, I guess she does. She always has, like, casseroles or something in the freezer for me to put in the oven.”
“She does okay, but she doesn’t like it. When she and my dad first got married, she tried to cook for Ali and me. She did pretty well on the basics, but her cookies and cakes—not so much.”
“My mother writes cookbooks.” I played with the cheese residue on my plate. “So I’ve been surrounded by food my whole life. I have two sisters, and we all kick ass in the kitchen.”
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