“Did you regret it? Do you think he ever knew that you could have done it and didn’t?”
She laughed. “I regretted it every minute for years. I second-guessed it, and I raged at my editor. But ultimately, he was right. My ex went on to break a lot of other hearts, and publishing the story wouldn’t have changed that. Something happened to him many, many years later, and I think, as they say, karma is a bitch.”
“Did he ever tell you he was sorry?”
“Never. He probably didn’t even remember the whole episode. I was just one in a very long list of conquests.”
I reached out and touched the top of her hand where it lay on her desk. “I’m sorry, Dr. Turner.”
She took a breath and sat a little straighter, smiled just a bit. “Thank you. Life goes on. But if it’s any consolation to you that I’ve been in your position, then I’m glad my story helps.” She began fussing with the blotter on her desk, and I took that as my cue to wrap up our meeting.
“Thanks for listening, and for the good advice. I hope someday I can pass it on.” I stood and shrugged into my coat.
“Oh, you will. Keep up the good work, Ms. Cole. I’ve been following your blog. You and Kristen have done a nice job putting it together. I’m glad you’re not going to let down your readers or your partner.” She gazed at me meaningfully over the top of her glasses, which I understood was a not-subtle reminder that my grade and reputation were not the only ones at stake here.
“Understood. Thanks again.”
“Any time.” She smiled as I closed the door behind me.
Out in the sunshine, I felt another layer of stress fall away, and I drew in a deep, cleansing breath. It was one of those rare moments when my world felt peaceful and possible.
It lasted until I was right outside the dorm and spied Liam, who was standing in the courtyard, looking up at the windows as though he could see into them.
I wondered if I could walk past without him noticing me. But in my new spirit of peace and love, I decided to try something else.
“Hey. What are you doing here?” Okay, so it maybe sounded a little hostile, but the way I said was more curiosity and less accusation.
He jumped as though I’d hit him. “Julia? My God, don’t sneak up on me.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t sneak up. I was headed into my room. I live here, remember? And I thought it would be nice to say hello. You look like Spiderman about to scale the wall. Are you waiting for someone?”
He squirmed. I never thought I’d see the day, but cool and collected Liam Bailey was decidedly uncomfortable. I remembered Rachel, the freshman girl he’d brought to his birthday party, who now lived in this dormitory, and my stomach turned just a little.
“No. Not really. Just was hoping to run into someone. Maybe.”
I smiled, saccharine sweet. “Not me, I take it?”
“No, not you.” He said it so definitely that I had to laugh.
“Thanks. I guess you gave up on stalking me? Taking your offer off the table, huh?”
“My offer?” He frowned.
“You know. Booty call without strings. Keeping me off the street. No leftovers to the rabble, right?”
His face turned red, and my mouth dropped open. Was I really embarrassing him?
“Julia, I’m sorry. I was wrong to say that the other day. You just—I was dealing with crap, and yeah, seeing you with other guys worried me. It freaked me out a little. Giff jumped all over me, and I know I need to just leave you alone. Okay?”
My world, so peaceful moments ago, suddenly felt off-kilter.
“I think I must have stepped into an alternate reality. One where Liam Bailey actually knows how to apologize. And shows remorse.”
He made a face at me. “What are you talking about? I apologize. The whole time we were going out, I did nothing but apologize to you. I could never do the right thing.”
“No, you always just asked if I were still pissed at you and then played the—no. You know what, Liam? I’m not doing this. You just did a decent thing, and I’m not going to ruin it by second-guessing everything. Thank you. And now, before any other bizarre world shit goes down, I’m going upstairs to lie down until class.”
I turned to push open the door, and Liam called to me.
“Are you--” He cast his eyes up again at the windows. “Is Ava waiting for you up there? Are you going to lunch with her?”
I shook my head. “No, she’s in class all day. I have the room to myself. Why?” Suspicion crept into my voice as I wondered what game Liam was playing now.
“Nothing. I, just, uh, was going to ask her about a class. A question I had. I’ll catch her later. No problem. See you, Julia.”
He turned and sprinted down the walkway before I could say anything. I shrugged and went inside, shaking my head.
This had been the oddest day.
Ava was already sitting down when I got to Beans a little after four. She waved to me, and I cut around several people in line to get to the table.
“I ordered you a mocha latte on ice. Even though I think you’re nuts to drink cold drinks in the winter.”
“I’m quirky, what can I say?” I sank into the chair across from her. “Thanks. And it’s not that cold outside today. The sun was really warm.”
“Yeah.” Ava picked up the paper wrapper from her straw and began folding it into tiny squares. Her eyes focused on the task, but I didn’t think she was really seeing it.
“Ave.” I reached across to squeeze her hand. “What’s going on? Come on, this is me, Jules, who knows everything about you and loves anyway. And who’s been driving you nuts being needy and insane for the last three months.”
“Only the last three months?” She lifted an eyebrow at me, and I grinned.
“Thanks, I love you, too. But seriously, tell me what’s going on.”
Ava licked her lips and sucked in a breath through her nose. “Jules, I do love you, and you know that, right? You’re my best friend, ever, and we might joke about that or whatever, but you know it’s true. I would never, ever hurt you for anything in the world.”
My heart was beginning to pound a little bit. I sat back in my chair. “Okay, yes. I know all that. Ave, you’re freaking me out.”
She pushed away her drink toward the middle of the table. “That Friday night, when you first went out with Jesse, Liam came over just as you were leaving.”
“Right.” I frowned. “You said he talked to you about me being out with all those other guys, and you told him to mind his own business.”
“Yes. That’s what happened. To a certain point. You left, and he was standing in the hallway. I didn’t want to let him into our room. He said he needed to talk to you about how you were acting, that people were talking about you, blah, blah, blah. And I kept saying it was none of his business, and he should leave.
“And then that girl Rachel, the freshman? She was walking down the hall. And she saw him there, and he saw her, and so he asked me if he could come in. She looked upset, and I didn’t want to deal with their drama, so I let him in.”
She dropped her head into her hands. “I swear, Jules, I never thought—I figured he would come in, finish what he was blabbing on about, and then leave. I just wanted a quiet night to do my homework.”
“Okay.” I was still lost, still confused.
“So he sat down on my bed, and I sat on my chair, and he told me Rachel was giving him a hard time, calling him, texting, and he couldn’t shake her loose. I laughed and said he seemed to have a hard time knowing how to end relationships, and he said she wasn’t a relationship, she was just big mistake.”
“Hmph. A big mistake he was making out with in front of all our friends just to shake me loose. What goes around...”
“Yeah, I pretty much said the same thing. And he said he knew it, but it was complicated, and he just wanted to talk to you, to make sure you weren’t going to do something dumb because of him.”
“Same old song,” I snorted. “Ava
, I still don’t see--”
“I’m not done yet.” She said it so grimly that I snapped my mouth closed.
“After that, I don’t know, we were just talking. I had forgotten how we used to talk when you guys were dating. I didn’t realize I’d kind of missed that. And then I got out some wine, and we were just...talking.
“And then he said something funny, I don’t even remember what it was, and I laughed. When I looked at him, he...umm, he had a strange expression, and then...he leaned over and kissed me.”
“Oh, my God! Are you freaking kidding me? And here I was thinking he might be changing...Ave, I am so sorry. He’s an asshole.”
“Jules, you don’t understand.” Misery etched her face. “It wasn’t just him kissing me. I kissed him back. And more.”
I’m not sure what my face looked like at that moment, but it was probably a study in shock.
“More? What do you...? Did you sleep with him, Ave?”
“No.” Her eyes were bleak. “But we—there was kissing. Lots of it. And...touching. When I finally made him stop—made us stop—he said he should go, and he would call me the next day. But I told him he shouldn’t, that you—I couldn’t do that to you.”
I laid my hands flat on the table and stared at them, breathed in and out once. I looked up at Ava. Of everything Liam had done to me, of every way he had hurt me, this was the worst. Not only because of the pain and betrayal I felt, but because of the guilt I saw in my best friend’s eyes.
“Ave, I’m not mad. Not at you, anyway. I’m—I’m surprised. Shocked. Um, I don’t know what to say.”
She leaned forward, almost pleading. “I didn’t, either. This is Liam. After he left and I could think straight, I realized how stupid I was. That he was playing me, probably just to hurt you. Then he called me when he got back to his room, and he asked me to meet him the next morning for breakfast, somewhere off campus. I said I could never do anything to hurt you, and he told me you were with so many other guys, you wouldn’t even notice.”
I heaved a sigh and shook my head. “Ava, this is a mess. I get—at least, I mostly get—how you could kiss him. He’s hot, he’s good, and you’re not the first girl he’s conned into a make-out session or worse. But why on earth didn’t you tell him to go to hell when he called?”
She lifted one shoulder. “Jules, he was so sweet. When he said—what he said, I wanted to believe him. I hadn’t made up my mind when you came back from the wrestling thing. But when you told me what he’d offered, I knew he’d been lying to me. All week, though, ever since, he’s been calling me, trying to see me. Waiting for me after class. I saw him once or twice. I feel so stupid, Jules, and I still do. I’m so, so sorry. Can you forgive me?”
I sipped my now-watery drink. “Ava, there’s nothing to forgive. I don’t care what Liam does now. I only care about you. If I really thought you and Liam could—well, could work—I’d deal with it. But he’s only out to hurt you.”
“But everyone knows you don’t go out with your friends’ ex. Ever. What’s the matter with me? I’m a horrible bitch.”
“You are so not. Liam is a master manipulator, Ave. That’s a given. I just wish you had told me right away and not agonized.”
She rubbed her forehead. “It was just temporary insanity, I guess.”
We finished our drinks in silence, and even on the way back to the dorm, neither of us spoke.
Since I never had dated before Liam, the idea of a boy coming between one of my friends and me was strange. I wanted to be angry with Liam again, to go back to the place where revenge felt like a perfect option.
At the same time, something was still bothering Ava. I knew she felt regret, remorse—now the surprise trip to church for confession last weekend made sense—but she also seemed sad. When we got back to our room, she changed into sweats, stuck in her ear buds and climbed into bed with one of her huge textbooks.
I worked on homework until the darkening room and my growling stomach made me think of dinner. I glanced across the room at Ava. She was propped against pillows, with a book on her knees, but she wasn’t reading. Instead she was staring into the distance, a frown wrinkling her forehead.
I tossed a pillow at her, to get her attention. She jumped and then took out the ear buds.
“What was that for?”
“It’s time for dinner. You want me to get takeout and bring it back? You’re looking pretty comfy over there.”
She shrugged. “I’m not very hungry. Whatever you want to do.”
I climbed off my bed and onto Ava’s. “What’s wrong? You’re not still worried I’m upset, are you? I’m not. Not at you.”
She didn’t meet my eyes. “No. I’m just...disappointed in myself. All this time I’ve been so focused on the important things. I haven’t given boys a thought. Well.” She gave me a half-smile. “Maybe a thought or two. But I’ve stayed on my path. And then this guy who I know for sure is a jerk and a player comes along and kisses me, and suddenly I’m no better than any other lovesick girl.”
“Lovesick?” I wrinkled my forehead.
“It’s a figure of speech.”
I laid my head on her shoulder. “Ave, you are the most amazing person I know. I see the looks you get when we’re out. You’re gorgeous, smart and funny. All you’d have to do is let it happen, and guys would be falling at your feet. But you have a plan, and you stay focused. Just because you have one little slip doesn’t mean you’ve failed.” I sighed. “I can tell you Liam Bailey isn’t just a guy. He might be a class A ass, but the boy knows how to kiss. And what to say to a girl, when he’s in the mood to be charming. So don’t beat yourself up.”
If anything, Ava looked more miserable.
“I didn’t tell you. I had a meeting today with Dr. Turner. I’ve decided not to write that story for the blog. At least, I’m not naming names.”
“What made you change your mind?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I guess it was realizing that I’ve moved on. I had such a good time with Jesse last night. It’s easy, and it feels right, you know? Not the constant up and down and angst there was with Liam. I ran it all by Dr. Turner, and she gave me some good advice.”
“So all the revenge plans are abandoned?” Ava worried the side of her lip between her teeth.
“I guess. When I saw him this afternoon, I--”
Ava shifted on her pillows, turning so she could see me. In the process, I nearly fell off the bed.
“You saw Liam this afternoon?”
“Yeah. Sorry, I guess I forgot, with us talking about everything else. He was standing outside the building here when I got back from seeing Dr. Turner.”
“What was he doing here?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea. He was kind of cagey about it. No, that’s not true. He was, like, nervous. And he apologized for the other day. I mean, really said he was sorry, not the typical cover-his-ass-and-not-take-any-blame crap. I almost fell over.”
“He apologized?” Ava sat up.
“Yeah, for what that’s worth.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, and I could tell something was going on in her brain. When she spoke, it was with a new calm.
“Jules, maybe your revenge plans aren’t quite over yet.”
“Ava, that’s crazy.”
“No, it’s not. It’s perfect. Everything else we were thinking about before was so haphazard—you showing up all over campus with different guys hoping to make him jealous, even writing about him on the blog—all of that felt sloppy. But this, this is exactly right.”
“It’s not fair to you. Ave, you don’t need to do this.”
“Oh, I think I do. And it’s fair to me. He decided to include me in his games. He wants to mess with me? Good. Now it’s time for him to get a big old tablespoon of his own medicine. And isn’t it perfect that my birthday just happens to be in two weeks?”
“The last thing I want to do is plan another birthday party. You know what people are going to be saying. It’
ll bring up everything from December again.”
“Exactly. So it’ll be fresh in people’s minds. And when Liam walks in, every eye will be on him.”
“Ava, are you sure...?”
“Stop it, Jules. I’m positive. Put it into action. Get the girls on the floor to help you with the plans and the decorations. You can handle the food. We can do it in the main lounge here.” She smiled, and the look in her eye made me shiver. “And don’t worry about Liam. I’ll deliver a special invitation to him.”
“God, Ave, you scare me. Remember you’re supposed to use your powers for good, not evil.”
She laughed. “This is for the good. Liam Bailey is going to learn what happens when you screw with the wrong women.”
The buzzing of my phone on Sunday morning interrupted a sweet dream I was having about a sunny beach and one of those fruity drinks with a little paper umbrella.
Muttering under my breath, I reached for the phone with my eyes still closed and swiped it on before realizing it was a text, not a call. I squinted at the screen, trying to focus my eyes on the tiny words.
Almost home. Stopped for gas. When can you come over?
I grinned. Jesse. And he must have missed me.
You’re early!
Left first thing.
I wondered how that had gone over with his mom. The little clock in the corner of my phone showed it was just past nine, which meant he must have left New York around six or so.
I have to stop at grocery 1st.
I’ll come get you, we’ll go together. Be there in 30 mins?
I scrambled to sit up. Thirty minutes? Only a guy would expect anyone to be ready in half an hour. I tried to think clearly for a moment and then made a decision.
I’ll be downstairs waiting.
I could see my breath as I stood outside the dormitory, but the sun was almost warm. I stood basking in it, bundled up against the chill air but still thinking fondly of my dreams about the beach.
Best Served Cold Page 16