My eyes drifted shut. I hadn’t been sleeping well the last few nights, and I began to doze.
“You know I can’t resist you all warm and sleepy.”
Still disoriented, I struggled to sit up straight in bed. Jesse stood in the doorway of my room, his eyes steady on me.
I laid a hand over my chest. “You scared the hell out of me.”
“Sorry. The door wasn’t quite latched. When I went to knock, it opened.”
I nodded. “Kristen just left. She must not have closed it on her way out.”
Jesse leaned against the door jam, hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Can I come in?” He glanced down the hallway. “I’d rather talk without the audience.”
“Oh, yeah, come in. You can shut the door.” I tried to smooth my hair down.
Jesse sat down on the end of the bed, looking nearly as nervous as I felt. I saw his chest rise as he took a deep breath.
“Julia, I’m sorry about the other night. I was upset. Cal said some pretty nasty things, and I told him he didn’t know what he was talking about. I was pissed. I wanted you to tell me it was ridiculous, that Cal was lying.”
I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“No. You told me the truth. And I see why you didn’t say anything before. At least, once I thought about it, I understood.”
I lifted one shoulder. “I wanted to. At first I thought it was too soon, and then it didn’t seem to matter.” I ventured a glance at his face. “But it’s all over. It’s done. I’m not even putting the story on our blog. Jesse, Liam doesn’t mean anything to me. You’re not my rebound boyfriend.”
“I know.” He slid closer and framed my face in his hands. “I’m sorry I said that. I’ve put up with all the crap my parents put Ali and me through. I never want to end up where they are. But I jumped to crazy conclusions.” He leaned his forehead against mine, while his thumbs feathered my cheeks. “I’ve been a mess the last few days. I missed you.”
I tried to blink back the tears. “I missed you, too. I thought I screwed everything up for us.”
“Nah. This is just a bump in the road.” His mouth touched mine. “Clean slate, right?”
I managed a smile. “Clean slate. No more revenge. No more secrets. Only you and me.”
“You and me. I like that.” He kissed me with the same intensity that made me want to pull him into bed with me—and never come back out.
“Jesse?” I spoke against his lips.
“Hmmm?”
“Ava’s away all night. I have the room to myself.”
He leaned back, eyebrows raised as he looked down at me and then glanced over my shoulder, out the window, where dark was just beginning to take over.
“It is late.” He ran a hand around to the back of my neck.
“Probably too late for you to drive home,” I agreed, ignoring the clock on my desk that read 6:50 PM.
“My first class tomorrow isn’t until eleven. Plenty of time to go back home in the daylight.”
“You’d be doing me a favor. Keeping me from being lonely and afraid.”
He sighed. “You know me, Julia...selfless to a fault.” He shifted so that I fell back to my pillow, and he covered my body with his, stifling any smart comeback I might have had by kissing me into submission.
“Lacey, where are the paper plates?” I stood in the middle of the lounge. All around me, freshman girls were taping up crepe paper and inflating balloons, chattering and giggling so that I could hardly think.
“I gave them to Patty.” The blonde girl blinked at me. “She said she was in charge of paper products.”
“Okay. Go get Stephanie and make sure the plates and plastic ware are put on the table in the front.” I turned around, checking my mental list of last minute things to do.
“Jules, where do want all this ice?” Jesse carried in the cooler. Through his thin cotton shirt, the muscles in his arms stood out, and I felt the sigh that rippled through the girls around us.
“By the drink tub, please. Thanks.” I watched him carrying the ice across the room.
“Julia, the music’s all set. And Becca said to tell you the last of the food is coming up now.”
“Perfect.”
“Everything looks so pretty.” Ava came in, smiling. “Jules, thank you so much.” She laid a hand on Jesse’s arm. “I’m glad you’re here. It’s going to be fun tonight.”
“I hope so. As long as you’re happy, so am I. You deserve a kick-ass party.”
“And that’s just what this is going to be.” Jesse laced his fingers through mine and squeezed my hand as more people began to arrive.
“Jules! Everything looks perfect.” Giff hugged me hard. “You’re getting to be a pro. Parties by Julia. Nah, that’s too plain. I’ll have to come up with something better.”
“Yeah, no thanks. I think I’ll keep my day job.” I grinned up at him, glad he had come. “At least no one’s going to be surprised at this one. I hope.” I tightened my fingers within Jesse’s and tugged him forward. “Jesse, this is my friend, Giff. Giff, this is Jesse Fleming. My boyfriend.”
Giff’s eyes missed nothing, taking in our linked hands. He smiled.
“Good to meet you, Jesse. I hope you’re taking good care of our girl here. She deserves it. She’s a keeper.”
Jesse pulled me in front of him, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I happen to agree. And don’t worry, I’m doing my best to keep her in line.”
“Julia, we can’t find the napkins!” I rolled my eyes as a panicked freshman clutched my arm.
“Excuse me, guys. I need to go avert a crisis.”
By the time I got back to the lounge, the room was full and loud. I smiled at a few people as I made my way back to Jesse, who was talking with Giff and some other boys I didn’t recognize. Ava stood to the side, chatting with her fellow psych majors. She was so pretty in her short black dress. It made her skin look even more translucent and picked up the shine of her hair. For the first time in weeks, she looked relaxed, too, and I was glad that I’d gone along with the idea for the party. Even if our goal had changed, we were celebrating my best friend.
Just as I reached Jesse’s side, the atmosphere in the room changed abruptly. The noise level in the room dropped to almost nothing. When I saw Giff’s face, tight and angry, looking at something over my shoulder, I already knew what had happened.
Liam stood just within the doorway.
It was like a weird flash of de-je vu, except this time, Liam was by himself. There was no girl hanging onto him. He was dressed in a long-sleeved button up shirt and dark jeans, and his eyes skimmed the crowd. His gaze paused only for a fraction of a moment as it passed over me, then moved on and fastened on Ava.
She had turned at the same time I did, and their eyes met. Something I didn’t understand flashed between them, and then Ava stepped backward, her bottom lip trembling.
Jesse closed a hand around my shoulder. “Is that him?” he murmured low into my ear. “Do you want me to throw him out?”
I was tempted for just a moment. It would have been sweet. And then I thought of Ava. The last thing I wanted to do was to ruin her beautiful party. As Dr. Turner had said, this wasn’t about closure. It was about moving on.
Without a second thought, I stepped through the crowd again, this time walking toward Liam. He saw me, and trepidation flashed in his eyes. People stood aside as I went past, but no one moved too far: nobody wanted to miss the show.
I stood for a beat in front of him, and then I held out my hand.
“So glad you could make it, Liam. Come on, get something to eat.” I glanced back behind me. “Ava’s over there. I know you want to tell her happy birthday.” I raised my voice just a bit, smiling. “Eat up, everyone! I’m bringing out the cake in about half an hour.”
There was a surge toward the food table, and I let out a quiet breath of relief. Jesse found me and pulled me into his arms.
“That was amazing.” He kissed the side of my neck and then l
eaned back, looking down at me. “Did you know you’re pretty much perfect?”
I laughed, still a little shaky, and leaned into him, glad to have the solid promise of his chest beneath my cheek. “Not hardly. But believe it or not, that felt better than any payback I’d imagined.” I raised my head to touch my lips to Jesse’s chin. “Mostly because of you.”
The rest of the party went exactly as planned, to my enormous relief. There was no more drama, no more surprise guests. We brought out the cake ablaze with candles, everyone sang happy birthday, and then Ava cut it forever, it seemed, handing out slices on the pretty paper plates. After that, the crowd began to thin out, as people left for other parties or dates. I stood with Jesse, just watching. He was leaning against the wall, and I leaned against him, running my hands over his forearms as they rested on my stomach.
“I love your arms.” I trailed my fingernails lightly from his hands to his elbows. “Is that weird?”
He nuzzled my neck. “Not at all. Whatever part of my body turns you on, I’m just happy it does.”
I craned my neck to meet his eyes. “All of you turns me on.” I wiggled a little against him and was rewarded when he sucked in a quick breath.
“Julia.” Liam stood in front of us, holding a red plastic cup as though it were his lifeline.
“Hi, Liam.” I rested my head back on Jesse’s chest. “Have you met Jesse yet?”
“No.” He nodded in Jesse’s direction. “Liam Bailey.”
“Yeah.” Jesse didn’t move except to tighten his grip on me. “I know.”
“So I take you two are...together?”
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. “Yes, we are.”
“Good.” Liam looked from one of us to the other. “Julia’s a terrific girl. I hope you guys are happy. Take care of her.” He shifted his gaze to me. “I’m sure you deserve her more than I did.”
“I’m pretty sure, too.” Jesse’s voice was hard. “And I don’t plan on letting her go. I know a good thing when I’ve got it.”
Liam winced just a little. “Julia, thank you for tonight. You were better to me than I could have expected. Considering how the last party went down, I mean.”
I nodded. “Water under the bridge, Liam. I’ve gotten over it. I hope you can, too.”
“Maybe I will.” His eyes skittered away and fastened on Ava, who was sitting in the corner, eating a piece of cake with Giff.
“Liam.” I caught his attention again. “Don’t mess with her. She’s not like you. She doesn’t play games.”
He shrugged. “I’m not playing anything.” He looked away again and then smiled at us. “Good to meet you, Jesse. Julia, thanks again. Great party.” He turned, and I knew he was heading toward Ava and Gifford.
“Hey.” Jesse caught my chin, turned it toward his face. “Ava’s a big girl. She can take care of herself.”
I nodded. “I guess so. I just worry.” I swiveled so that I was flush against Jesse’s body, pressing him into the wall. “If Ava doesn’t need me, who will I take care of now?”
A slow smile spread across his face. “I can think of someone.”
“That was an amazing meal.” Jesse leaned back from the table. “Steak and potatoes. That’s man’s food.”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, caveman. Guess what? Dishes are waiting for you. You know the rules. I cooked, you wash.”
“Hey, I made the steak.”
“Um, no. I bought the steak, marinated it, seasoned it. You borrowed your dad’s grill and cooked it. Matter of fact, if I wasn’t keeping my eye on the timer, you would have burned it.”
“Not my fault the Phillies went into extra innings. I had to keep running back and forth from the grill to the TV.”
“Whatever. My point is that I did most of the cooking. So man up and do those dishes.”
Jesse gave an exaggerated sigh as he went to the sink. I carried our plates to him.
“I’m just glad it’s warm enough to grill now.” I covered the bowl of potatoes and put them into the fridge. “It’s been a beautiful spring.”
“True.” Jesse squirted dish liquid into the sink. “Beach weather pretty soon.”
“Hmm. I can’t wait.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and lay my cheek against his back. There was just something about a man doing dishes...
I moved my hands over his flat stomach, feeling his muscles bunch and tense. Want and need combined to pool low in my belly, and I rubbed against his back, relishing the sensation of his hard body on my breasts.
“Watch it there, woman.” Jesse’s voice was rough. “Keep that up, and these dishes will have to soak.”
I smiled and let my hands sag lower, to the button of the cotton shorts he wore. He sucked in his breath, then let it out in a rush as I walked my fingers even lower, to the hard ridge beneath his fly. His hands stilled in the water.
“Jesse.” I spoke softly into his back. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”
He paused a beat before answering me. “You mean...for me to finish the dishes?”
“I mean, for anything. I don’t want to wait anymore. I want, now.”
In a flurry of movement that made me gasp, he turned, and I was leaning into his chest, his arms wrapped around me. I shivered at the feel of his wet hands through my t-shirt.
“Are you sure?” He whispered the words, but I heard them clearly. I pulled his head so that I could take his mouth against mine, open as I dipped my tongue within.
“Really sure.”
Jesse didn’t need to hear anymore, clearly. He lifted me up, stopped only long enough to make sure the front door was locked, and carried me to the bedroom.
He laid me on the bed with great care. I had come to know these past months how gentle and soft his touch was, and he reminded me of that now. He peeled off his own shirt and then sat next to me on the bed, tugging at the hem of my tee.
He took care not to pull my hair or catch the shirt on my earrings as he took it off over my head. And then he lay down alongside me. His hands moved surely over my body, by now more familiar with what brought me pleasure.
He kissed me, with the same intensity I loved, and then he licked down my neck, teasing with his tongue. His fingers were already fondling my breasts, and when his mouth reached that spot, he laved one nipple through the cup of my bra while he rolled the other between his fingers, sending a jolt straight through me.
“Jesse!” I gasped.
“Hmmm?” He unhooked my bra and re-captured a nipple. “What?”
“Feels so good.” I moaned the words and felt his smile as he circled his tongue around one peak.
“Mmm, I know. I love your breasts.” He palmed them, bringing the other nipple to his mouth.
Even as his mouth continue to lick and nip, his hands moved between my legs. He disposed of my shorts easily, tugging them down my legs and then pulling my underwear off as well.
I ran my hands over his chest as he came back to lie next to me. “No fair. You still have clothes on.”
“I guess someone should take care of that.” He grinned.
Reaching to his shorts, I unbuttoned and unzipped, then used my feet to move them down his legs. I reached for him through his boxers and was rewarded with the hiss of his breath as I gripped his length.
“God, Jules.” He fell back on the bed, and I took advantage, leaning up on my elbow over him.
“Smile,” I commanded, and used to my request by now, he did. As soon as his dimples appeared, I covered each one with my mouth, running my tongue over it with sensual abandon. I dropped kisses along his jaw to his chest, laying half on top of him as I took him in my hand again.
We’d become more adventurous over our months together. I touched Jesse as much as he did me, but we’d never crossed that last boundary. I felt him grow even harder as I moved my hand up and down.
“Jules.” He flipped me over and fastened his mouth on my breast again. “I want to make you feel good first.”
His fingers searched between my l
egs, finding the one spot that me arch and gasp. He rubbed slowly at first, with increasing pressure as I moaned louder, tensing. Just as I teetered on the edge, he stopped, kneeling up and away from me for a moment to fumble in the drawer of his nightstand. I heard the ripping of paper and opened my eyes to watch him roll on the condom.
He lay back down next to me, bringing his fingers to the heat at my center once again.
“Julia.” I opened my eyes to find his face close to mine. “I wanted to say this before. I didn’t want you to think it was just because of what we’re doing. I love you. If you didn’t know that—I do.”
I smiled against his lips as they touched mine. “I love you, too, Jesse.”
He moved his fingers faster over the nerves that made me insane. And just when I thought I would explode or die, he raised himself between my legs.
“You’re sure?” He asked the question one last time, although I could see the strain of holding back in his face.
“I’m sure. Oh, God, Jesse, please!”
He didn’t wait another minute. He sank into me on a long sigh, and I reared up to meet him, every inch of my skin hyper-aware of his body touching me. He linked his hands with mine, pressing them into the bed as he rose over me, pulling out with incredible slowness and then stroking within as he moved deeper.
I closed my eyes and fell into the pleasure. There was no one on my mind, in my heart, beyond Jesse. Every time he touched me, I felt his strength, how much he cared for me. When he lowered his mouth to brush over my lips, tenderly, almost reverently, my breath caught.
“Jules.” He rocked into me again, and I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t exploding into a million pieces. “This—you-are everything I ever wanted.”
Beyond words, wrapped only in his touch, I half-moaned, half-sighed a response. Jesse raised our joined hands above my head, and I opened my eyes to look up at him. He smiled, then buried himself deep into me. The most intense, incredible pleasure overcame me, and I’m pretty sure I screamed his name. At least once.
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