“Yes.” Helen blushed and bowed her head, afraid that he might be able to tell that she and Alex hadn’t consummated their marriage yet.
“I dare say she will survive,” Clarence said briskly. “And really, Milton, can you not at least leave the crass comments until after breakfast?”
“Just making conversation, Clarence. I'm sure Helen doesn’t mind, do you, my dear.”
Helen didn’t want to be rude and say that she did mind but she also couldn’t agree with him, so she remained silent. Thankfully she was spared from answering as the door opened again and Rose entered.
“Rose, my dear,” Milton smiled and got up to hold out a chair for her. “How lovely you look this morning.”
“Thank you.” Her cheeks flushed but she smiled at him and sat on the chair he was holding.
Milton sat down again and poured for her, then he topped up Helen’s cup.
“So my dears,” Milton looked at Helen, “what are your plans for today?”
“I have to write to a friend of mine in London then after lunch, your sister and I are taking a turn in the garden.”
“Sounds lovely,” Milton smiled. “And you?” He looked to Rose.
“Just some sewing,” Rose said.
“You are welcome to join us on our walk,” Helen offered. She wanted to speak to Jane alone so that she could ask more about Emma but she didn’t want Rose to feel excluded.
“Oh, thank you but I really should get this finished.”
Helen didn’t press her.
***
“I do hope you don’t mind,” Helen said as she and Jane were taking a walk in the gardens. “But I went to your sister’s room yesterday to look around.”
“Of course I don’t mind,” Jane took her hand and squeezed it. “Did you find anything interesting?”
For some reason, Helen didn’t want to say anything about seeing Milton in the south wing. “No. I wondered if I should look through her letters but that felt wrong without your permission.”
“You wouldn’t have found anything anyway,” Jane assured her. “I have been through every letter of hers that I can find, I have looked through every drawer, every cupboard and every reticule and dress she owned. I found exactly two notes from her lover but nothing to identify him.”
“Nothing at all?”
“The notes were only two lines each, declaring undying love and looking forward to their next meeting. I still have them if you’d like to see.”
“I would.”
“Then we shall go to my room when we’ve finished.”
They walked in silence for a few moments until Helen asked, “What was she like?”
“Emma?” Jane frowned for a moment as she thought. “She was very different to me, very selfless, very moral.”
“You’re hardly selfish or immoral,” Helen asserted, surprised by such a statement.
“Well, that depends on who you ask,” Jane laughed, although it sounded hollow. “I was supposed to marry Alex, you see, but I refused. I couldn’t do it, so for the good of her family, Emma offered to.”
“You don’t like Alex?” Helen asked.
“No, I like him very much but… I simply couldn’t marry a man that I didn’t love. Mother called that selfish. And while I don’t believe I am immoral, Emma was far more moral than I. So much so that even although I know that she didn’t love Alex, I still have trouble believing that she would take a lover. I even have proof of it in her letters. I know that she was carrying a child and I know she and Alex hadn’t shared a bed for months. I know that it’s hard to deny the heart what it wants but if any woman were able, it would have been Emma.”
Helen knew that people could idealise the dead, but Jane didn’t seem to be that kind of person. If what she said was true however, then something didn’t make sense.
“Are you sure the child wasn’t Alex’s?” Helen asked.
Jane nodded. “Since we came to live here, I always knew when they shared a bed. Emma wasn’t a passionate person and she… well, she didn’t like it, it made her feel… soiled and dirty, was how she described it. The day afterwards, she would be very quiet and introverted.”
“Did Alex... force her?”
“Oh no, she always extended the invitation. She was lucky to have a husband such as Alex, who didn’t claim his rights as he could have. Emma was… she was complicated. She knew that to be a good wife, she should give her husband his marital rights but at the same time, she would have been much happier devoting herself to God. Ever since we were children, she wanted to become a nun, so she felt guilty for abandoning God in order to marry, and then she felt guilty for not fulfilling her wifely duty to her husband.”
“Do you think that if she did have a lover, that Alex would have been jealous? She didn’t want him but she wanted someone else?”
Jane sighed. “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel that there is so much I don’t know, or don’t understand, and I begin to wonder if I ever really knew Emma at all.”
The desolation in her voice made Helen want to weep for her but instead, she pulled on Jane’s hand until she stopped, then put her arms around her.
“I’m so sorry.”
Those words of comfort seemed to be Jane’s undoing and she began to cry as Helen held her. She rocked them gently, murmuring soothing nonsense and rubbing Jane’s back, until finally her tears stopped and she pulled away.
“Thank you,” Jane said, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.
“It was nothing,” Helen assured her, uncomfortable with the praise, but Jane reached out and cupped her cheek with her hand. It was a surprisingly intimate gesture and the look in Jane’s eyes was unusual. “You don’t have to thank me,” Helen tried again, feeling uncomfortable.
“You’re a good woman, Helen, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.” The look in her eyes disappeared and Jane stepped away.
“Thank you,” Helen said, wondering what that odd moment had been about, but she put it out of her mind for now, more interested in discovering who Emma’s lover might have been.
The good weather they had enjoyed at the weekend seemed to be on its way out and the part cloudy sky was rapidly filling with darker clouds, lending the air a chill.
“Shall we return to the house and I’ll fetch you those letters?” Jane suggested.
“Good idea.”
Since Jane’s room was in a different wing, they entered into the east wing, where the wide hallway was covered in portraits of all sizes.
“My,” Helen said, looking around.
“Yes, this is the Cavendish family,” Jane answered, pointing to a large portrait in one corner. “Starting with the first Duke of Crowham over there, although he was just the Earl of Crowham when that painting was commissioned.”
“This is quite some collection,” Helen marvelled.
“Isn’t it? Alex doesn’t seem to like it very much, he hasn’t added any new commissions and he rarely comes here.”
“Doesn’t he have a painting of your sister?”
“Oh yes, and the boys, but he doesn’t put them here.”
As she browsed the paintings, Helen wondered why but her attention was soon diverted by a portrait of Alex and Clarence, when they were probably in their teens.
“That’s their father and uncle,” Jane said, pointing to another picture of two young men. “The Duke is on the left.”
Helen moved along to look at it. Both Alex and Clarence resembled their father, who in turn bore a strong resemblance to his brother. Little told them apart, save for the Duke having a square chin and dark blue eyes while his brother, Alex’s uncle, had a dimple and hazel eyes.
“They’re a handsome family,” Helen proclaimed, pulling herself away for the moment and rejoining Jane; she could come back and look another time.
Rose was heading down the staircase as they were heading up and they paused to talk to her.
“Did you enjoy your walk?” Rose asked.
“Very much,” Helen rep
lied.
“It was delightful, until the sun went in,” Jane offered. “I believe that I was built for a Mediterranean climate, not northern England.”
The other women smiled, appreciating the sentiment.
“Did you finish your sampler?” Helen asked Rose.
“I’m sorry?”
“At breakfast, you said you had some sewing to finish. I assumed it was a sampler.”
“Oh, um, no. I ran out of the right colour thread so I must wait until I have some more.”
“I intend to visit the confectioners again very soon, would you like me to get you some while I’m in town?” Helen offered, since Rose wasn’t free to go out without an escort.
“Oh, uh, yes. Yes, please. I can’t quite recall the name of the thread but I’ll look at the spool before dinner. Thank you.”
Sensing that Rose had somewhere to be, and inferring from her nervousness that Pearl was probably waiting for her, they said their goodbyes and continued on their way.
“Poor girl,” Jane said with a sigh once they were out of earshot. “She has such a good heart and would be a wonderful mother, but I fear that she will never get the chance.”
“Can’t Pearl find her a suitable match from the aristocratic classes?” Helen wondered.
“Possibly but Pearl is all alone in this world and now that she has Rose well and truly cowed, I can’t see her letting her go, no matter how good the match.”
“You don’t like Pearl very much, do you?”
“Is it that obvious?” Jane flashed her a mischievous smile. “But no, I don’t. She is self-centred in the extreme, she is ruining her daughter’s prospects for her own selfish desires, and she is an insufferable snob. If that wasn’t enough, she did her utmost to make my sister feel unwelcome here, and for that I can never forgive her.”
Helen couldn’t argue with that assessment.
Chapter Ten
Helen picked up the two sheets of paper beside her and began to read the top sheet.
‘Dearest E,
I miss you more than words can say and I cannot wait until I see you again. I keep thinking of your husband and the thought of the two of you together turns my stomach. I know I have no right to be jealous but that’s how I feel.
Please forgive me.
All my love,
X’
She brought the bottom sheet to the top and read that.
‘My darling E
I’m sorry for this delay that keeps me from being with you. Rest assured that I am doing everything in my power to clear things up and return to you at the earliest opportunity.
Eternally yours,
X’
Helen had read both letters multiple times now but she had to agree with Jane, there was nothing incriminating here, nor anything to help identify the author. Jane didn’t recognise the handwriting and she was far more familiar with the writing of the family and their acquaintances than Helen was.
Jane had said that she could keep the letters, but time had done nothing to reveal their secrets.
This morning Helen and Jane had searched Emma’s room together but hadn’t discovered anything new. Helen couldn’t help but keep wishing that Emma had kept a journal, since she might not have been able to name her murderer in it, but it would surely have held clues.
When they had finished searching, Helen sat on the floor, feeling downhearted. She knew she had no right to; Jane had been looking for answers for two years and Helen for less than two weeks, but she already felt that she was at an impasse.
“No, no sighing,” Jane said, holding her hand out and pulling Helen to her feet. “I know, after we have endured lunch with Pearl, let’s take the boys and go riding this afternoon.”
“Can they ride?” Helen asked.
“Joseph is very good but Julian is a novice. I can lead his pony but with two of us, one can stay with Julian while the other gallops off with Joseph.”
“That sounds nice,” Helen smiled.
Helen had been seeing the boys twice a day, gradually building up the time that she spent with them, and she was coming to care for them a great deal. She thought that Joe’s attitude towards her might be thawing ever so slightly, but it was still early days.
It was hard sometimes, because all she wanted to do was put her arms around him and take his pain away but even if he would let her, she couldn’t take away his pain, no matter how much she wished it were otherwise.
Lunch with Pearl was strained, as usual, but the rest of the family did their best to gloss over her disapproval. Clarence was the only one who really succeeded, able to brush his mother’s comments aside, as easily as water rolls off a duck’s back.
They invited him to come along on their ride that afternoon but he said he had some pressing correspondence to answer. They asked Rose as well, but one harsh look from her mother quelled the impulse to accept, so Jane, Helen and the boys went alone.
Joe had an 11-hand grey pony called Excalibur, while Jules had a tubby little black Shetland pony called Sooty.
“Joe learned on this horse,” Jules proudly informed her. “One day I’m gonna be as good as he is!”
“I’m going to be,” Helen corrected. “And yes you will.”
Poor Jules didn’t seem to have much idea what he was doing, holding the reins too high, sticking his feet out in the stirrups and twisting in the saddle, but thankfully Sooty seemed unflappable.
Helen rode Pecan again, since he too wouldn’t be upset by Jules’ antics and she was happy for Jane and Joe to ride ahead for most of the trek. Jane had argued at first, until Helen explained that this was only her second time in the saddle in almost four years. She did feel much more confident even after one ride but she still wasn’t sure she could go galloping off at the speeds Joe and Jane did.
Besides she was quite content to lead Jules and listen to his incessant chatter. When he was a little older, she might suggest a career as an orator or actor, for he certainly loved talking.
It was also delightful to see Joe in the saddle, where he had more life than she had glimpsed in him to date.
In fact the last time they had re-joined Helen and Jules, they had raced back, and the grin on Joe’s face as they galloped towards them was worth any momentary fear that he was going to knock her or Jules off. In the event, he was able to swerve his pony around them, showing evident skill.
Helen applauded his win as Jane came in a few lengths behind, and Joe’s smile widened even further.
“Well, I think losing to a seven year old is enough of a blow to my pride for one day,” Jane said smiling, and since her horse was at least three hands larger than Joe’s pony, Helen felt she may even have let him win. “Shall we head back? Then we can relax for an hour or so before we get changed for dinner?”
Joe’s smile dimmed a little but he nodded his agreement. As Helen turned their horses around, Jules raised the reins, sat back and raised his legs, attempting to kick poor Sooty in the shoulder to speed him up. Thankfully the knee roll on the front of his saddle didn’t allow him to make contact with the horse, so Helen didn’t admonish him.
“Well done,” Helen praised Joe when he drew alongside.
“Thank you!” His smile returned. Up until today, Helen couldn’t have been completely sure that he even had teeth.
Back at the stables she dismounted and pulled the reins over Pecan’s head, then she noticed that the buckle that attached the reins to the bit, was loose on one side. She looked closer and saw that the prong of the buckle, the part that went through the hole in the leather, was missing. If she hadn’t been going so slowly because of Jules’ inexperience and had needed to pull hard to stop the horse, say after a race like the one Joe and Jane had, the rein would surely have come loose on one side. She didn’t want to think about the consequences of something like that, especially as she was still getting used to riding again.
The groom came over for the horse and Helen showed him the broken buckle, asking him to check the others just in case t
hey were broken or corroded. The groom apologised profusely, and he looked genuinely upset that a bridle in such a state had been allowed on a horse.
He took Pecan from her and assured her that every piece of tack would be checked immediately, then he informed her that Mr Cavendish was looking for her.
“Did he say why?”
“You have a visitor,” he said. “I sent Matt to find him as soon as I saw you coming back.
“Thank you.”
She wondered who this visitor might be, her only friend in recent years was her former boss, Mrs Fuller, and she would hardly travel all the way from London just to see her.
No, it was far more likely that this was a local lady, who had come to call on the new Duchess. She hoped that they had simply left a calling card and weren’t waiting for her.
“There you are!” Clarence said, jogging towards them as they approached the house. “I began to think that perhaps you’d had enough of my family and had ridden off into the sunset.”
“We were just having too much fun,” Helen answered.
“Well I have some more wonderful news for you; your family has arrived!”
Helen almost tripped over her own feet as she staggered to a stop. “What!”
Jules tugged on the skirt of her riding habit. “You should say ‘pardon’ not ‘what’,” he whispered.
Helen reached a hand down and stroked his hair, unable to talk right now but wanting him to know she wasn’t angry for his correcting her. He was right, after all.
“Your family,” Clarence repeated, although he sounded confused. “They arrived this afternoon, not long after you left for your ride. They said they were expected although I admit, I did think it odd that you hadn’t told us or the servants to expect them.”
“I haven’t spoken to my family since my father died, almost four years ago.”
Clarence looked shocked and his mouth opened and closed a few times, although no words came out.
Jane stepped closer and wrapped her arm around Helen’s.
“They are probably here to cash in on your fortune,” she reasoned. “You said your father was a Baronet, correct?”
Helen nodded.
“So they are either here to benefit financially or socially from your marriage. Since they clearly care nothing for you, I suggest that we send them packing!”
Love, Lies and Murder Page 9