Martin offered to be on bath and bedtime duty so that I could eat my dinner in peace he’d said and dinner turned out to be chicken with veg, including broccoli would you believe, and a chocolate éclair for afters. To me these were serious clues as to the amount of luck-pushing Martin was trying on. Clearly he’d known only too well that I wouldn’t be sold on his working in Spain with Lenny scheme, and was trying his best to butter me up.
I tidied up the living room and left the folded up bottom sheet on top of one of the toy boxes so that Ben and Kate could make their den again tomorrow and then collapsed in an armchair to watch a bit of telly, not that I saw very much of it my mind was completely taken up with how I could talk Martin out of going to Spain.
The more I thought about it the more I thought it was a bad idea. It wasn’t just that Martin would be working away from home that was daunting enough, but he’d be in another country. If he’d said he was going to work in Manchester or Glasgow or something I’d still have been a bit iffy on the whole idea, but Spain? And that wasn’t the worst problem, the worst and the reason I was so against it was that it was Lenny’s idea. Lenny had met a guy in a pub and talked my husband into taking off regardless of any family responsibilities to spend who knew how long in a foreign country. It didn’t sound like they had any paperwork or proof even that this guy was telling the truth, or that even if he was telling the truth that they’d get the job. Maybe the Spain bloke had already got someone in mind or he’d just give the job to someone else anyway, from the sound of it there was no guarantee that Martin and Lenny would get a contract, that’s if there really was a job in Spain at all.
Martin came back downstairs and I heard him making tea in the kitchen then two minutes later he appeared carrying two mugs and after handing me one of them sat down on the settee.
‘So what do you think?’ He said after a couple of minutes of uncomfortable silence.
‘I think you’re mad’ I said.
‘I’m not mad; it’s a chance that’s all.’
‘Have you even met this bloke?’
‘Which bloke?’
‘The bloke in the pub’ I shouted.
‘Alright, alright no need to shout. No I haven’t met him.’
‘So this whole mad scheme is based on some guy Lenny met in a pub who mentioned he’d been working in Spain. You don’t even know if the guy was telling the truth or if there even was a guy, maybe Lenny just made the whole thing up or even more likely was too drunk to know what he was talking about.’
‘I’m pretty sure Lenny didn’t just make it up’ Martin scoffed.
‘Why not, it’d suit Lenny down to the ground to go off to Spain for a bit and take his best mate with him.’
‘Well now you’re being ridiculous.’
‘I’m being ridiculous!’ I spat out. ‘Okay Einstein what if you go all the way over there and there is no job or they’ve given the job to someone else? And how are you going to get there anyway or has Lenny got some master-plan in mind to pull that off?’
‘We’re meeting someone tomorrow for an interview although it’s more of a formality than anything else. Lenny says he told the guy in the pub where we’d been working and what sort of sites we’d worked on for Shepherd’s and the guy told Lenny we’d be perfect.’
‘Has this pub guy got a name?’
‘Of course he’s got a name, it’s Jim Phelps.’
‘What? You’ve got to be kidding . . . his name’s Jim Phelps?’ I sneered.
‘Yes, and?’ Martin said looking at me as if I was the mad one.
‘Jim Phelps . . . Mission Impossible’ I added as clearly Martin needed help working out why the name of Jim Phelps was so improbable.
‘Oh yes, I see what you mean. Well that’s his name I don’t suppose he can help that it’s the same as the guy on Mission Impossible, bet he gets a lot of stick though. I once worked with a bloke called Peter Parker and he got the mickey taken out of him all the time.’
‘Who’s Peter Parker?’ I said.
‘He’s Spiderman, and Spiderman’s real name is Peter Parker’ Martin jeered as if he couldn’t believe there was anyone who didn’t know that.
‘He’s not working on this job in Spain as well is he?’
‘No I only mentioned him because you said about Jim Phelps and Mission Impossible.’
‘Well I suppose that’s a relief. What about Clark Kent is he doing the plumbing, or the roofing he could do the roofing with being able to fly and everything, and you could have John McClane you know the Bruce Willis Die Hard guy on security’ I mocked.
‘Look I can’t help what his name is, its Jim Phelps okay’ Martin said getting irritated.
‘Okay its Jim Phelps and your mission is to do some first fix electrics in Spain but if you get caught the bureau will deny all knowledge.’
‘Sophie when you’ve finished being quite so comical, Lenny and I are going to see James Phelps and the boss of the Spain contract and before you ask me no I don’t know what his name is, and if we get the job which it looks as if we will all the expenses including the flights out there and the accommodation will be paid for by the company. Of course I’m going to get something in writing first, and of course I won’t be going anywhere if I don’t think it’s all legit.’
‘But it’s in Spain’ I said not being able to think of any valid argument now that he’d said all that.
‘Yes I know’ Martin said through clenched teeth.
10
Martin and Lenny went for their interview which surprise, surprise turned out to be a meeting in a pub. How I restrained myself from blurting out the numerous sarcastic comments on the obvious Mickey Mouse status of this would-be employer I don’t know. It seemed glaringly obvious to me that the whole set-up was about as suss as you could get; between stupid names, no offices or premises of any kind, and giving jobs to someone on the strength of a chance meeting in a pub and their telling you that they were looking for work was clearly a big fat sign they were not to be trusted. But Martin was having none of it, the more I railed against it the more he dug his heals in and was adamant that he was going.
He’d only told me about the job on Tuesday but by Friday night Martin was virtually packed and ready to go. ‘It’s fine’ he said. ‘Nothing to worry about’ he said. ‘All the paperwork’s in the post and was only a formality anyway’ he said.
‘Are you sure about this?’ I said again.
‘Soph we’ve been over this a hundred times now, it’s a chance and this job will lead to others I’m sure’ Martin said confidently as he crammed the last of the stuff he was taking into the oversize sports bag we’d had to buy specially for the trip.
‘But what if . . ?’ I began.
‘Yes I know and it all sounds like a rip off, but what’s the alternative eh? I can’t just sit here day after day not getting anywhere, there’s no building work round here and not likely to be for bloody years the way things are going. I have to give this a try.’
‘But you don’t even know where you’re going to be staying, what if I need to get hold of you?’
‘I’ll phone you as soon as we get there’ Martin said. ‘I promise, the minute I know the address of the lodging place. Anyway you can still get me on my mobile can’t you?’
‘Yes’ I said disconsolately.
I was perched on the edge of the bed watching Martin pack his things and then zip up the bag. He lugged the heavy holdall over to the doorway and came to sit next to me on the bed putting his arm round me as he did so.
‘If there was any other way, if I could have got any other job . . .’ he said.
‘And you’ll phone every night?’
‘And I’ll phone you every night’ he said.
‘Before seven so you can say goodnight to the kids?’
‘Before seven’ he said.
‘Oh Martin please don’t go, I have a really bad feeling about all of this.’
‘I’ll be back before you know it.’
‘Oh y
es a round trip ticket once a month to spend all of thirty six hours at home before you have to go back again. Yeah you told me’ I said bitterly.
‘Yes you see?’ Martin said patronizingly and all cheeriness personified. ‘I’ll be back in a month, less than a month it’s only three weeks and a bit.’
‘With mountains of washing and no doubt falling asleep for the whole time.’
‘Come on Soph, you’ll feel differently when I get paid. It’ll all be worth it and it’s not like its forever.’
‘Feels like forever’ I said sulkily.
‘Think of all the things we can do to the house, we might even be able to move to a bigger house’ Martin said.
‘Not everything is about the money’ I said pulling away from him.
‘No not everything but nearly everything.’
‘And we still won’t be able to move even if you do earn a load of money’ I said and Martin looked at me sceptically. ‘Well you can’t get a mortgage on the strength of some dodgy site work in Spain that you do on a temporary basis can you?’
‘Look I’ve got to go Lenny will be here any minute. It’s going to be alright Soph, your mum and dad said they’ll help if you need it and my mum and dad are only an hour and a half away. You’ll manage Sophie I know you will’ Martin said as he stood up.
And just like that he was gone. He’d given me one of those best friend type kisses and hugged Ben and Kate then hopped into Lenny’s car like a man released from prison, smiling and laughing with Lenny before they’d even reached the top of the road.
I sat with the children watching the telly and telling them everything was going to be alright and that daddy would be home again soon, but it didn’t feel very much like everything was going to be alright.
After I’d put the children to bed I sat in the kitchen wondering how I was going to manage and waiting for the call from Martin to say he’d arrived safely.
In the dream life I never had Martin would phone me as soon as he’d cleared customs at the other end and tell me how much he was already missing me. He’d say ‘go and look in the wardrobe in our room’ and full of wonder I would go and look, and there’d be a piece of expensive jewellery hidden there all tied up in an elaborate pink bow. Maybe it would be an eternity ring and I’d say ‘oh Martin it’s beautiful but we can’t afford this’ and he’d say ‘you’re worth it’ and then he’d tell me how much he loved me.
At a quarter to eleven I got a text message saying ‘got here okay speak to you tomorrow x’. So much for the dream life or the ‘I’ll call you the minute we get there’ I thought.
I’d arranged with Greg to take this Saturday off work knowing I’d still be struggling to cope with Martin going away the night before, and it was nice being able to spend time with Ben and Kate but the sense of doom I felt that wouldn’t quite go away hovered like a bad smell.
For once I didn’t bother with any chores except those that were absolutely necessary and instead decided to take everyone’s mind off things by taking them to Moo-Baa’s, the inner city farm place out on the Churling Road. Martin had left the car of course so at least that was one small compensation for his not being here. There were a couple of tiny problems with this, I hadn’t driven for a while so my motoring skills were decidedly rusty and it was a Saturday so the traffic would be awful.
After taking an hour on what should have been a twenty minute journey we finally arrived at Moo-Baa’s to sit in a queue for another half an hour waiting to go in. What I hadn’t taken into consideration was the fact that not only wasn’t it a school day but it was a bright and sunny day so every parent of every small child for miles around had the same idea. Eventually we got through the gates and after parking the car and visiting the loo’s which were basic to say the least we at last got to see some of the animals.
The children’s corner was jam packed with visitors so instead of fighting our way through all of them we decided to go and see the sheep first and just hope it was a little less busy later on. Kate and Ben loved the sheep, at least they did until one of them came over to the fence and started to ‘baa’ loudly at Ben; between the noise the sheep was making and the size of it now that it was up close he completely freaked out and decided the safest place to be was hiding behind me. What he didn’t know was that I was almost as scared as he was, just better at hiding it.
We did a mini tour of the cow shed although at this time of day there was only one cow actually inside it to demonstrate the milking procedure on; all the others were out in the field next door. Kate was fascinated by the whole process of milking and by just how much milk a cow could produce, but Ben was completely bored and indifferent about the whole thing and couldn’t wait to get back outside again.
The chicken coop and the yard the chickens all noisily inhabited and shared with a few ducks was very smelly so we had to hold a hand over our nose the whole time. Kate got very nervous when one of the plump chickens dared to come near her and looked as if it might try to peck her feet, but Ben thought it was hilarious to see his sister trying to jump out of the chicken’s way while shrieking so loudly you’d have thought she was being mugged.
We were all getting a bit hungry by this time so we wandered back to the children’s corner where it wasn’t quite so busy anymore and there were picnic tables set up amid the muddle of sheds and outhouses for the miniature goats, the rabbits, the guinea pigs, and safely tucked away an enormous pig and her piglets.
I insisted that we ate our picnic first that we’d bought with us to save having to buy anything at the inflated prices these sorts of places always charge, before petting any of the animals. Naturally this was a bit of a lost cause and regardless of my telling Ben and Kate to sit still until they’d finished they fidgeted about eager to pet something they were relatively sure wasn’t going to bite them, peck them, or possibly eat them. And despite complaining for the last half hour at least that they were starving, they complained bitterly about the torture of having to eat sandwiches, cheese and tomato, when there were crisps and two Milky Way chocolate bars not so secretly concealed in my bag.
After bribing the pair of them with a promised ice cream if they ate their sandwiches and behaved themselves I poured myself a cup of tea from the flask I’d bought with us and wondered how Martin was faring, and as if I’d somehow magically conjured him up by thinking about him he chose that moment to ring me.
‘Hello Martin, how’s it going?’
‘Fine, everything’s fine’ he said.
‘What’s it like, are you phoning from the lodging place, is it a hotel or a B & B sort of thing?’
‘Yeah it’s great’ he said without quantifying it.
‘It’s clean and that is it?’
‘Yes.’
‘So have you seen the site you’ll be working on yet?’ I asked.
‘Oh yes we’ve seen the site.’
‘And?’
‘Yeah its fine.’
‘You sound funny Martin, is everything alright?’ I said. His answers had been vague to say the least and sounded like everything was most definitely not alright, or maybe there was a whole group of other blokes near the phone and he was trying to sound all distant and casual like men do when they’re out in a bunch together.
‘Everything’s great’ he said.
‘Well that’s good. Are you sharing with Lenny or have you got a room to yourself?’
‘Um . . . sharing.’
‘Oh . . . well at least you won’t get lonely, you’ll be able to keep each other company.’
‘No I definitely won’t be lonely.’
‘What does that mean?’ I said, now well and truly freaked out.
‘Nothing, it doesn’t mean anything. How are the kids, where are you anyway it sounds like you’re outside somewhere, are you in the garden?’
‘No not the garden, you’ll never guess where we are. We’re at Moo-Baa’s.’
‘Well you didn’t waste any time, enjoying yourself are you?’ Martin said with just a tin
ge of bitterness.
‘I thought it would take Ben and Kate’s mind off you not being here, and mine. It was weird getting up this morning without you.’
‘Yeah I guess, sorry it was weird for me too’ Martin said all trace of nastiness gone.
‘I bet. All that sunshine and Tequila, not to mention seeing Lenny’s ugly face first thing in the morning that’s enough to weird anyone out’ I joked.
‘I think Tequila’s in Mexico.’
‘Is it?’ I said.
‘Yeah pretty sure it’s Mexico.’
At that moment one of the miniature goats that someone had let out of their pen came over to the table and Ben straight away offered it some of his sandwich which the goat instantly took and ate. Ben watching his sandwich disappear, even though he’d offered it and didn’t really want to have to eat himself anyway, promptly started wailing. Kate tried to shoo the goat away but the goat totally unfazed by all the hullabaloo ignored Kate’s shouting and ate the other half of her sandwich that was lying on the table which naturally started Kate wailing along with her brother.
‘I’ve got to go Martin, a goat just ate the kid’s lunch’ I said as I tried to discourage the goat by waving my free arm at it.
‘Okay I’ll phone you later’ he said.
‘Sorry. Bye Martin.’
I put the phone in my pocket and gave my full attention to protecting my children from marauding goats. Unfortunately I suspect that goats have perfected the art of telepathy or something like that because our goat decided to invite a few of his mates over to join him and soon we were surrounded by a whole flock of them or whatever a collection of goats is called.
You’ve never seen anyone pack up their things and move out of the way as quickly as we did, and only when the three of us were safely on the other side of the fenced off children’s corner did we slow down long enough to look back and see that the goats had all moved off of their own accord to the farthest corner.
‘Can we go home now Mum?’ Ben said tearfully.
The Dream Life I Never Had Page 6