by Vivian Arend
He’d ordered three pizzas, pleased to see she had no qualms about eating heartily. Every time she opened the box for herself, she picked up a new slice for him and laid it on his plate. She also went to his fridge and rummaged around until she found something green and leafy. That went on his plate as well, and when he made a face, she tapped her foot and refused to give him any more pizza until he’d eaten his veggies.
She blew bubbles in her soda. Tickled him to make him move and give her more room on the couch.
Jim Halcyon wasn’t sure what was happening, but he liked it.
The movie time slipped into talking time, the credits rolling past unobserved as they discussed the cinematography. She was smart and intelligent, and made him think hard when she pointed out inequalities in the casting that he’d completely missed.
They moved in front of the windows, the temperatures having dropped too low to make sitting on the balcony comfortable for Lillie in only his shirt. And no way would he suggest she put on any more clothes.
They could still see the fountain display. She curled up affectionately at his side in the manner he’d grown to crave. Such an honest sensation, all of her shy trepidation evaporated as he’d earned her trust.
“I think my mom would enjoy the fountain,” Lillie shared, “but there’s no way my dad would ever come to Vegas.”
Something personal.
Very personal, talking about family, and Jim worried he might push too far but he needed to take the chance. “He doesn’t like gambling?”
“He doesn’t like…” She frowned, this time not as if she was trying to keep secrets, but as if she was trying to figure out the best way to explain. “Dad likes routine, and being at home. And my mom does too, but she’s more willing to try new things than him. She was the one who moved to be with him. He’s lived his whole life in the same community.”
Typical bear situation. His parents had dealt with the same thing, but then discovered they both liked traveling. Liked each other—which didn’t always happen.
Jim stroked her fingers where they lay on his thigh. “Are they happy?”
She nodded. “Pretty much. Their life is nothing dazzling or thrilling, but you know—it’s not boring, either. It’s what they chose, and because of that, yeah, I guess they are happy.”
Happiness. Such an elusive thing.
Jim knew how to make his bear happy, and how to make his cock happy. He knew how to complete a business deal in a way that made his bank account happy, but he wasn’t sure if he knew how to simply be happy. “You know this ride I’m going on with Damon on Friday?”
“Your yearly special thingy? It’s not always a ride, is it?”
“Not at all. Every year it’s a bet, though. A chance to win the beautiful coin we purchased together back when we were young.”
Her eyes lit up. “That sounds fun. I’m glad you’ve got something to look forward to.” She sat at attention, turning to face him and stroking his shoulders. “Traditions can be really exciting.”
Between one heartbeat and the next, all the light faded from her hazel-green eyes, leaving them listless and sad. He was about to demand what the hell had happened when she perked up, her usual enthusiastic self back and demanding he finish his earlier comment.
“What about your ride?”
He trailed his fingers over hers, needing the contact. “The coin isn’t worth much, not really. But it’s like a lucky talisman, and whoever wins the race gets to keep her for the coming year.”
Lillie nodded even as concern flooded her expression. “You know there’s not truly anything like a lucky coin, or a magic spell, or anything like that that can swoop in and change your life.”
He laughed. “Damon and you could have rehearsed this. Yes, I know luck is hard work and good timing. And it’s not that I’m looking for luck, not really.”
Or was he?
“Maybe I just need a chance to turn the corner. One moment in time when I say now things will be different.”
“Is your life so terrible now?” she asked, her hands flying up to cover her mouth briefly. “I’m sorry, that’s awfully forward of me. And I’m not trying to snoop, but it seems to me the past few days we’ve had a good time, and you’re a great guy. Why do things need to turn a corner?”
Stroking her skin did more for his nerves than a full-body massage or a gallon of whiskey. It was as if she poured in comfort through osmosis.
“It’s been a rough year. I lost my parents last May.”
She made a low noise, her hands brushing his briefly. “I’m so sorry. An accident?”
“Cave-in. They were at an archeological site in northern Russia. Not their job—just their passion. An ancient shifter site, so very low profile in terms of development and news. I was there that week visiting.”
Too many memories to hold back. He pushed past them and allowed the words to escape.
“Dad had taken me into the cave to show me around when a tremor struck. We could see daylight ahead of us, the opening was that close. He pushed me ahead of him, and in the midst of the chaos I simply ran. I thought he was right on my tail. Only when I glanced back, he’d turned. Headed back to get my mom—I didn’t know she was working farther down the dig.”
If he couldn’t have seen Lillie’s face it would have made it easier to keep going. But she was right there, tears gathering in her eyes.
Made it damn hard to stop his heartache from rising.
“Neither of them made it out?” she whispered.
He shook his head. “I got trapped for three days myself. When we finally excavated far enough to find their bodies, they were gone. They had their arms wrapped around each other as if they’d refused to let go, even in death.”
She was weeping, tears pouring silently down her cheeks as she crawled right into his lap and offered him comfort.
He sat there, holding her. Thought about all of his accomplishments over the years. The tricks he’d gotten up to, and the mischief and fooling around and…
Some of what he’d spent time on seemed senseless, but like Lillie had pointed out with her parents, he’d chosen to do the things he did. And that made his life right in one way.
Made him empty as well.
“If I ever find the kind of love that my parents had? I wouldn’t need Lady Luck. Because they had something more precious, more valuable and far, far more rare than any lucky coin.”
CHAPTER NINE
She woke earlier than him, the same as she had all the other mornings. But this time, instead of crawling away as quietly as she could, she stayed put. Staring at his face and wondering how on earth she could survive.
She’d fallen in love.
That wasn’t supposed to happen. In all the rules of having a final fling, it was supposed to be about having a good time and lots of sex. Period.
She couldn’t even do a simple fling right.
Jim rolled to his side, his arms curling around her possessively. Their limbs were tangled together, one of his big thighs pushed between hers. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to stop her from running away, but even the amusement of thinking that faded as she realized this was the last morning she’d be able to consider sneaking out of his bed.
Addie had warned her she was too tender hearted. The fact her friend would be sad at being correct didn’t make the situation any better.
Lillie stroked Jim’s face, running her fingers through his hair and enjoying the rasp of his morning beard against her palm. She wanted to lean in and kiss him, but then he might wake up and make love to her, like he had last night after he’d shared about his loss.
So tender and caring and…
And if he did it again, she really didn’t think she could stop herself from blurting out her terrible secret.
She was the biggest fool in Vegas, and that was saying something.
It was no use. She eased from underneath him. Jim complained softly, but didn’t wake.
Lillie tugged on his shirt because she co
uldn’t bear not having his scent around her. She wondered if she swiped the garment, how long it would continue to smell like him after she was gone.
She opened her computer, heading straight to her email. Her IM pinged immediately with a message from Addie. Lillie stared at it, debating if her friend had a tracking device that let her know exactly when to administer a swift kick.
How are you doing, bb?
Was there even an answer to that? You’re right, I’m not cut out to have a fling
There was silence for a moment as her bestie figured out what she was talking about.
Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry
It’s okay. I’ll be okay
Do you want me to do anything? Do you need me to call anyone, or get on a plane and kick some butt? Because I’m there for you. I really really am. You deserve to be happy, bb
And right then and there, Lillie’s heart skipped. She popped up from her computer and paced the room.
Holy cow. Addie was right.
She did deserve to be happy. There was no reason why she shouldn’t simply figure out a way to take all the happiness she’d experienced this past week and make it a forever thing.
It wasn’t as if she were heading off to meet the love of her life. Ritual and routine be damned. If she hadn’t found Jim, then she would’ve been fine going along with tradition.
But she had found Jim.
Only…she had no confirmation he felt the same way about her. Was she going to throw away her future and potentially piss off some important bigwigs, and her parents, on the off-chance the big grizzly wanted her for more than just a fling?
No question. Damn right she was going to take a shot at it.
She raced back to the computer and signed off so rapidly she was sure Addie would send text messages every five minutes until she responded.
And Lillie would tell her more, once she made it safely onto a plane.
Because while she didn’t know for sure that Jim wanted her, she now knew what it was like to fall in love, and she wasn’t going to give that up for anything in the world.
If it turned out after all was said and done, Jim simply wanted a fling? She’d pull up her big-girl panties and accept…
Little mental sirens went off instantly. Awoooo, awoooo, bullshit warning.
Nope, she wasn’t going to accept anything except Jim falling one hundred percent and completely head-over-heels in love with her. No matter how long it took, and that was the truth.
But in the meantime, she had a contract to dissolve. She’d reached a fork in the road, and it was time she chose the path she followed.
She made a quick call to the front desk to order a taxi. Then she went to work, hacking into the plane registry she’d accessed five days ago. Because she needed transportation, stat, to get where she was going. Even if her methods were a touch on the illegal side.
Five minutes later, she slipped on her shoes and coat, grabbing the small bag Jim had bought her. She had her finger hovering over the call button for the elevator when she realized there was one more task to complete. She darted back into the room to grab a notepad.
Nothing. How could a grown man who claimed to be a workaholic have absolutely nothing in the place to use to leave a note?
Desperate, she grabbed the empty pizza boxes from their dinner, flipped one over and used coloured lip balm to write a message.
Something I need to do. Gone for 2 days at least. I know your race starts tomorrow. Have fun with Damon. Contact you when I can.
There was so much more she wanted to say, but she was out of lip balm and out of time. She dropped her message on the coffee table and fled the apartment before he woke up and stopped her.
Because her vanishing for a short while was the only solution.
She was gone.
Jim curled upright, wondering how in the hell she managed it every morning, but this time round his puzzlement was tinged with amusement instead of frustration.
He hadn’t woken in a cold sweat from being alone in bed. It was as if her presence had remained with him, helping him know someone cared.
It was time to move on.
Damon had expressed his concerns about Lillie, but the biggest thing he’d been right about was the secrecy. It was time for their secret-keeping to be over. Jim was going to find out everything there was to know about Lillie, because he intended to have her around for a long, long time.
He strolled into the living area.
She wasn’t at the coffee table working on her computer.
She wasn’t in the kitchen making coffee.
He double-checked the bathroom, and the guest room, but she hadn’t been hiding in there either.
What the hell?
Then he spotted the pizza box, disbelief rising as he read her message with growing concern.
Dammit, he needed his phone now, no more farting around.
He stomped to the landline and pushed a couple buttons. “Get me the phone I ordered, and find Damon Black. Tell him I need his ass up here right now.”
What the hell did something I need to do mean? Forget about looking for a needle in a haystack, he truly had no idea where she was headed. He forced himself to get dressed so he would be ready to run on a moment’s notice.
Damon and the phone arrived at the same time.
“What happened? You look as if someone died.”
“She’s gone.” Jim dragged a hand through his hair. “I woke up alone and she’s gone and she said there’s something she needs to do, and I’m supposed to go on the damn ride with you, but fuck that, I need to find out where she is.”
“Lillie’s gone?” Damon glanced toward the corner of the room, his face folding into a frown. “But all of her luggage is still here.”
For the first moment since Jim had discovered her missing, he actually got a full breath of air. Okay, maybe she was planning on coming back. “But where is she? What if she’s in trouble and needs my help?”
“Or what if…” Damon wrinkled his nose. “Look. I know I read you the riot act yesterday, but you were right. I had no proof anything was wrong. So what if she simply went to tell Mommy and Daddy she’s planning on staying in Vegas for a while? Did you think of that?”
Jim was far too worried for logic. “She could have said that.”
“Well, she did say she’d get in touch with you in a few days. She’s been pretty honest until now, so maybe you should take her word for it.” Damon clapped his hands. “Tell you what. We’ll head out tomorrow, and by the time we come back—”
“I need to know where she is, now,” Jim roared.
He hauled his new phone from the envelope Damon had passed him and waited for it to boot up.
Damon squeezed his shoulder. “Okay, bro, since you’ve got your panties in a twist, I’ll do what I can to help you. Hey, how did you end up with a phone already?”
“I ordered it right after you destroyed mine, dumbass.”
A million emails downloaded onto the remote access, his voice box filling to the brim. Jim tried to remember if he’d ever gotten Lillie’s phone number. He pressed play and held the phone to his ear as he shouted orders at Damon. “Check with the front desk and see if anybody saw her leave. That will at least give us something to go on. Then check—”
The message in his ear distracted him from his immediate task. He came to a complete stop for a full minute before the cursing welled up and burst free. “Shit. Shit. Fuckdamnfuckers shit.”
Damon frowned. “What?”
“Listen.”
Jim hit play, watching his astounded friend’s expression turn to dismay as the recording continued.
“Mr. Halcyon. We are pleased to inform you that we at the Ursus Planning Board have been working diligently to find you a suitable partner. As you know, your name was added to our list when you reached the age of majority, but with our fierce attention to maintaining a stellar track record, it’s taken until now to find a proper mate for your particular needs.
&n
bsp; “Just this last week we were contacted by the family of a lovely young lady who we believe will be a wonderful addition to your clan. She has concluded her education, and in finalization of our contract, she is en route to join you.
“We trust this arrangement will meet with your satisfaction, and that your marriage will proceed as expected within the next short timeframe. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact the main UPB office during regular office hours. We thank you for your business. Have a nice day.”
Damon and Jim exchanged horrified glances.
“You’re not serious. You signed up for a mail-order bride? How come I never knew this?” Damon demanded.
“Because of course you knew. It’s the way we bears always do things. We don’t have fated mates like you wolves, and if it was left up to us, all bear shifters would be gone within two generations. So they set up the Board to arrange marriages.” Jim clenched his fist and growled at the ceiling. “I do not need this right now,” he shouted at the heavens.
“I can’t believe this is something you need at any time,” Damon boggled. “You have a woman en route to your home who expects to marry you… Are you expected to just drop everything and go?”
He looked totally confused, and disgusted, and dismayed all at the same time.
Jim was grabbing his coat and his passport. “Normally, yes. That’s exactly what is expected.”
“That’s crazy.”
“That’s how most bear shifters do it,” Jim spoke slowly and steadily, fighting the rising anger in his gut. “I don’t want this, okay? Yes, even a week ago I would’ve been fine with it, but there is no way I want to drop everything I’ve got right now to go play happy families with some stranger.”
He slipped on his shoes.
“Where are you going?” Damon asked. “You’re not still thinking you can find Lillie, are you?” His eyes widened. “Oh shit. What’re you going to do about her?”
“One thing at a time. It’s not this woman’s fault she’s been chosen to be my bride. I can’t just send her a phone message and tell her to go home. It’s possible I’m going to have to do some fast-talking to get out of this contract, but I have to get out of it. Plus, I need to find Lillie, but I can only do one thing at a time. And that means I have to go to Whitehorse first.”