by Vivian Arend
The frantic way he plundered my mouth and his tightening grip on my waist convinced me he felt the same way. I cried out when he bit the fleshy curve of my neck, his teeth sinking in enough to leave a bruise. When he sucked hard on the spot, laving it with his tongue, my pussy clenched around his thrusting cock. I clawed at his back, scratching at him and pulling him in closer.
Laughing at my wanton behavior, Ben sneaked his hand between our bodies, landing right above the spot where we were joined together. He nibbled my lower lip, and I remembered the way he had teased and nibbled other parts of me. His fingertips danced around my clit the same way his tongue had earlier that night. I gazed into his green eyes, his irises smoky with lust, and felt a quiver of panic. What if this was it? What if this moment was the last one we would share together?
Ben's fingers swirled in the wetness coating that pink pearl hidden away between my thighs. My worries were forgotten as his tongue stabbed against mine. Clutching his shoulders, I surrendered to that shuddery, blissful throb building in my lower belly. I whispered his name on a sigh and he smiled at me. "That's it, baby. Come with me."
I shattered beneath him, hips rocking and back arching. I tossed back my head as I cried out with pleasure and squeezed my thighs around his waist. Ben tasted my mouth again, drowning out my screams, and started to pound into me. He was wild with me now. His hips snapped at a breakneck pace, and his cock pounded me into the mattress. All I could do was hold on and ride the incredible and seemingly unending waves of ecstasy.
When he grasped my calves and lifted my ankles to his shoulders, I moaned noisily. His eyes had taken on a predatory shine, and I knew then that I was really going to get it now. He gripped my ankles hard enough to leave bruises and fucked me like no one ever had—or ever would. It was always going to be Ben that I remembered when I closed my eyes and conjured up my most wanted fantasy. It was always going to be this rough, impossibly sexy mob enforcer who had saved my life by stealing my car.
"Ben! Oh! Please."
He let my legs fall to his waist again. With his one hand planted near my head, he threaded his fingers through my hair and claimed my mouth. The passion and power of his kiss left me reeling. His forehead touched mine, our noses bumping together as we panted and shared each other's air, and then he slammed so hard and deep that I slid up the bed. He jerked against me—and then I felt it.
At the same moment, we locked gazes. In the frantic heat of our coupling, we had forgotten the most important thing of all. As shudders wracked his body, he spilled his blazing hot seed inside me. I had no idea it would feel so different without that latex barrier. My heart raced but not with fear. I didn't dare put a name to the primal sensation.
Ben's eyes closed as a shiver coursed through him. When he looked at me again, I easily read the shame, guilt and pleasure on his face. He started to say something but I stopped him by placing my fingers to his mouth. I refused to let him ruin this perfectly perfect moment. Ben seemed to understand what I couldn't say and nodded before kissing each of my fingertips.
When he finally pulled away from me and tucked me against his chest, I went willingly and with a smile. Exhaustion took us both. Curled together we slept until the first grayish pink rays of sunshine were streaming into my bedroom. I came awake to the sensation of Ben's soft lips peppering kisses across my back and along my neck. When I wiggled my hips, I felt his cock nudging my bottom. Half-asleep but already burning with desire, I pushed back against him.
"We shouldn't, Aston." His voice was gravelly with sleep.
I pressed against his erection, but he didn’t move toward me. Annoyed, I reached back to fondle him. "We really should."
Not one to be dominated, Ben grasped my waist and shifted me into the position he wanted. I smiled at the way he used that brute strength of his to lift me up in the bed and shove my thighs open. Spooning me, he thrust inside a few inches, pulled back and slid in deeper. I whimpered with need and reached back to grip his hip. My hand traveled lower and settled on his taut ass. I loved the way his muscles rippled beneath my palm.
Wanting it hard and rough like the first time, I tried to get what I desired by pressing down to meet his thrusts. "Ben, I want—"
"No." His lips brushed my ear. "Not this time."
"But—"
"No." As if to show me who was boss, he slid his arm under my body and clamped it across my breasts. He held me against his chest and took me slow and easy. Instead of the wildfire that had burned through me earlier, this was steady and grew hotter with each passing minute. I closed my eyes and held onto his arm, letting him take me and trusting him to give me what I needed.
Ben dragged my hand to his mouth and sucked on my fingers. He flicked his tongue over them, wetting my skin, and then pushed my hand down to the juncture of my thighs. "Touch yourself," he ordered gruffly. "Make yourself come for me."
He must have known that he was one of the few people in the world who could get away with telling me to do anything. Not that I was going to put up much fight about an instruction like that one. Finding that swollen bundle of nerves, I strummed it the way I liked most. Ben's thrusts were faster now but still too achingly slow. He nuzzled my neck and whispered in my ear, telling me how beautiful and brave I was. He teethed my earlobe before changing the angle of his hips. The new way his cock stroked inside me was too good. I curled my toes against his shin and whimpered.
"That's it," he murmured. "Let go, baby. Let go for me."
The moment his strong hand encircled my throat, a frisson of panic raced through my belly. He wasn't going to do that but it was the possibility of danger, however slim, that set me off. He lovingly cupped my neck in that big hand of his while I cried out with pleasure, calling his name and clutching at his forearm. The wicked spasms of my pussy gripped his thrusting cock, enhancing the fluttery bursts of joy that exploded in my belly.
"Aston!" He growled my name as he climaxed. "Aston. Aston."
Stay. I bit my tongue rather than say that one word. It was a silly thought. A stupid one, actually. There was no way Ben reciprocated my feelings. Enthralled by the glimmer of possibility, I desperately wanted to roll over, kiss him and ask him to stay, to give whatever this was that had sparked off between us, a real try.
Losing myself in the warmth of Ben's protective arms, I stayed awake a little longer after he had fallen back asleep. An unwanted feeling crept from the pit of my stomach and into my chest. I knew what was coming. I knew what would happen once I fell asleep, but I fought a losing battle and soon succumbed to my exhaustion again.
And when I woke, I found my bed empty. The sheets were cold on the side where he had slept. A single sheet of paper taken from my small desk across the room rested on the pillow. I picked it up and scanned the short message he had scrawled for me.
I'll call you.
But he didn’t.
CHAPTER SEVEN
"Ben?"
Surprised by Besian's voice, he lowered his socket wrench and stepped out from under the car lift. The boss rarely made an appearance at the shop. In his dark suit and shiny shoes, he looked totally out of place amid the dust and the grime, but Ben knew better than to think the expensive clothes had made the man soft. He might be a successful and mostly legitimate businessman now, but he had clawed his way to power with vicious and brutal acts that he wouldn’t hesitate to repeat again.
"Boss." He tugged a rag from the back pocket of his jeans and cleaned his dirty fingers. "I didn't know you were coming by today."
Besian gestured toward the open garage doors and the stillness of the evening. "Meet me outside." His gaze slid to Ben's filthy clothes. "Change your jeans, at least. You don't want to stain these seats."
He stuffed the rag into his pocket. "Give me five minutes."
After ducking into his office to grab the extra pair of clothes he kept on hand, he slipped into the employee bathroom to scrub away the grease and grime coating his hands. He stared at his reflection as he dried his hands and wiped
a soapy paper towel over his face and along the back of his neck. There were lines under his eyes and around his mouth. He hadn't been sleeping well, not since…
Not since you left Aston like a fucking coward.
His stomach churned with the memory of leaving sweet, beguiling Aston and sneaking out of her house. He had taken the stolen Camaro to Zec's new holding spot. The smuggler had taken one look at him and then patted his back in a comforting way. He had wanted to be angry at Zec for forcing him to acknowledge the ugly truth of the situation, but he couldn't muster the energy for it. Instead, he had welcomed the cold numbness that had spread through him.
Crumpling up the soggy towel, he tossed it in the trash and made quick work of changing his clothes. He caught Devil's eye after he locked up his office. The scarred giant waved to let him know he had the shop under control.
Out in the still, muggy night, he heard a car idling down the street. He walked toward the sound but stopped abruptly when the silver Aston Martin came into view. Although he had tried to get the namesake car back, Besian had forbidden him from entering negotiations with Lalo. The boss hadn't been pleased that he had lied about taking Aston to the containers or that he had agreed to let her take the car's place as collateral.
Writing that letter that he had asked one of the family's runners to deliver to Aston had been one of the lowest moments of his life. He might have come through on his promise to save her from her stepbrother, but he had lost her father's car. Staring at it now, he wondered what game the boss was playing.
Besian already sat in the passenger seat so Ben slid behind the wheel of the outrageously expensive classic car. He inhaled the crisp scent of the leather and admired the polished wood of the steering wheel with a sweep of his hand. "How?"
"Lalo and I found some common ground, but your blonde honey owned the negotiations. She's tough like her father. I don't think I've ever seen anyone in the cartel fold that easily. Of course, she gave Lalo the choice of any car in her collection."
The pride he had felt at hearing Besian call her tough turned to heartache when he imagined how much it must have hurt her to give away more of her father's things. "Lalo never should have had this one. The drug debt wasn't hers to pay. This car wasn't Calvin's to use as collateral either. She never owed us a debt."
"Her family owed the debt. Calvin is gone. You and Devil made sure of that. I can't collect a debt on an unmarked grave." Besian reached for his seat belt. "I thought you would be proud of her. She pays her debts and has a great deal of integrity and honor. Most women in her position would have simply called the police. She could have used her contacts to bury us."
Fastening his lap belt, Ben wondered why she hadn't done that. Was it because she hadn't wanted him to get hurt? He shoved down the hope that flared to life within him. No, she would have had to answer a lot of uncomfortable questions about Calvin if she had called the police. This wasn't about protecting him. It was about protecting herself and preventing a scandal.
But even as he thought that, he had a hard time believing it.
"Earlier today, she sent me four cars to settle up what she owes with us. Zec will like them. They should be easy to move." Besian gestured that he was ready to go. "That garage her father built is amazing. Did you know she does all the maintenance herself? She's handy with a wrench and quite a mechanic."
"I didn't know that." His fingers tightened around the wheel as he pulled away from the curb. He didn't know, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know all of her secrets and quirks. He wanted to be the one she whispered her dreams to in the dark and the one she turned to for help. To hear Besian recounting the small and intimate details about the woman he couldn't forget was like a knife to the heart. Of course, a knife would have been kinder and quicker than the torment he now suffered.
"You look like shit. When was the last time you slept?"
Ben shrugged and kept his gaze fixed on the windshield. "A couple of days."
"Four, I would guess," the boss said knowingly. "Not since you left that girl of yours."
"She's not mine." He hated the sullen tone that invaded his voice.
"So I take it you're not planning to pull a Sergei on me and leave me high and dry over some woman?" The story of the Russian enforcer and prize fighter leaving the mob after his woman bought his debt to the family was still the buzz of Houston's underworld. That Nikolai had given his blessing was even more of a shock.
He cast an incredulous look Besian's way. "How could you ask me that? Haven't I always been loyal to you? Haven't I proven that I'll do anything for the family?"
"I've never doubted you," Besian said as they approached a red light. "Not once. Never."
"But?"
"This family," he gestured between them, "can't be a real family to you. We can't give you comfort at night. We can't offer you unconditional love. We can't give you children."
At the mention of children, Ben felt shame. Unable to stop himself, he blurted out, "I wasn't careful with her."
Besian's shocked expression didn't match his cool reply. "I see."
"It just…it happened. I couldn't stop it, and she didn't want to stop it. She looked…happy. She smiled at me, and I could tell that she didn't smile like that for everyone." Rubbing the back of his neck, Ben growled with anger. "I shouldn't have been so irresponsible. Look at me! I know better. I've been that kid."
"Have you talked to her? If she's in trouble—"
"It's too soon to know, but if she is, I'll take care of her." He didn't give a shit about the rules. If Aston was pregnant, he wasn't walking away from her and the baby. Devil would probably maim him if he was forced to fight his way out of the family, but he would survive the beating.
"She can take care of herself, Ben. She's rich. She's powerful. She'll be a CEO soon."
She doesn't need you. The boss wasn't going to come right out and say it, but that's what he meant.
"What do you want, Ben?"
"I don't know," he grumbled. "I thought I had it all figured out, but I don't know anymore." He glanced at Besian. "What do you want?"
"I want it all."
"You can't have it all."
Besian laughed as they glided through the intersection. "Let me guess. Zec?"
"He's right. There are rules in this life."
"And where's the rule that says you have to be miserable and unhappy?" Besian shook his head. "This is my family now. I make the rules. If you want this girl, take her. But," he added with emphasis, "you'll have to give up the shop. I can't risk having you there. On that score, Zec is right. She is too high-profile. We don't need the extra attention on our operation there."
Ben took a moment to really consider it. He could have Aston, if she still wanted him, but he would lose everything he had worked for and built since Besian had put him in the shop at twenty-one. Six years down the drain—for her.
There wasn't even a choice. "I want her."
"Then go fucking get her!"
But what if she doesn't want me? He didn't have the balls to voice that thought aloud. There was only one way to find out and that was to man-up and ask her.
"There aren't any guarantees in life, Arben." The boss didn't often use his full name, but when he did, it was serious so Ben listened carefully. "You hear that shit all the time, you know? No guarantees. Life is too short. But you don't know what that really means until you have a fucking hole in your chest, and you're watching your blood pour out of your body onto the dirt. When you're so weak taking a fucking breath is impossible? When you close your eyes and there's no white light? When all you see is the darkness? You know."
Ben tried to breathe quietly as Besian got whatever the hell this was off his chest.
"I've done things…" His voice trailed off and he shook his head. "I've hurt people. I've made mistakes, and I've sinned." He rubbed his chest. "I'll pay for all of that someday."
Exhaling roughly, Besian caught and held his gaze. "Don't be me, Arben. Don't wake up at thirty-six
and discover how fucking empty your life is. Yes, I have money. I have power. I can snap my fingers and have twelve strippers on their knees if I want them, but that's not what I want."
Ben suspected what the boss really wanted was a certain auburn-haired pawn broker with bright blue eyes and a tangled mess of a family.
"Listen, Ben, if you like this girl, if she makes you happy, if you think she might be something special, claim her. Show her that you can be the man she needs. Be good to her and do right by her."
Signaling the end of the discussion, Besian turned his gaze toward his window. Ben drove the rest of the way in silent contemplation. When they reached the private drive that winded toward Aston's white stone mansion with the slate blue roof, he grew nervous. He touched his cheek and remembered the way she had walloped him in his office. Would she hit him again for running away and not calling her? He deserved it and would gladly accept the sting of a good smack if it meant she would touch him again.
The front door opened as he slowed the car to a stop and Aston walked out of her house with Marley at her side. They were laughing and didn't notice him at first. Aston's smile faded at the sight of her beloved Baby. At the sight of me.
Realizing this wasn't going to be easy, he killed the engine and inhaled a steadying breath before stepping out of the car. He didn't know what he was going to say. He didn't have anything to offer Aston.
But he had to try.
My heart leapt for joy at the sight of Baby rolling to a stop. The sight of Ben, however, crushed me. He hadn't called or visited. He had just…left. After everything we had gone through that night, he had just walked away from me.
"Do you want me to stay?" Marley must have sensed my reluctance to be alone with Ben.
"No, I need to do this. I'll be okay."
She nodded with understanding. "Well, call me if you need to talk. I'll be working late at the shop tonight."
"Alone?" I was scared for her to work alone after she had been kidnapped from the shop.