by Lucian Bane
By the time the water ran cold, I stood trembling in the stream, the spray hitting on my burned flesh, causing another agony all its own. No remorse. How the fuck was I supposed to face her at any time and not show remorse? And what did she fucking think? Of me? I fucking hurt her and walked out!
God, please help me find a way to make this better.
Once out of the shower I put my clothes on. “I need to add something to that list. Steve flew up from his reclined position on the bed and went to the table. He picked up the pad and pen and got ready.
I realized I was the one that needed to write. “Well I might want to add the last assignment. Maybe you can check see if I scored yet.” I nodded at the computer.
He flashed that weird smile before getting focused on the screen while I wrote, Google gifts that show extreme remorse. I slid the pad toward him, putting my watch under the table.
He looked at the pad and nodded while giving a triumphant fist jab in the air.
I wrote again on the pad and showed Steve. “This was the last assignment I got.” Bastards made me flog Tara and not show remorse.
He paused and read it. I wasn’t sure why it felt so good to tell Steve things. Maybe it was the way his face became a mask of genuine misery. Felt good.
“That’s atrocious,” he breathed before turning the screen to me.
I read the list, skimming then paused at one idea and wrote it down. “You have no fucking clue.” I continued looking at the list, writing every idea I could use. When I had it narrowed down to six ideas, I stopped and showed Steve. “Wonder if we can find a store with these sex supplies?”
Steve read it and a grin slowly filled his face. “I can arrange it.”
****
I looked out the window of the limo, tying to be inconspicuous about checking the sky. Where was it? I wanted to call Steve to ask. We’d made it through half a day with no assignments. It was fucking eerie. Like the calm before the storm of the century.
The window between Steve and us lowered. “Look at that!”
Thank fuck.
I quickly scooted next to Tara and smiled at the plane writing letters in the sky.
“Oh, neat.” Tara began sounding out each letter as it was sprayed. S… o…. r….r….y. “Sorry?”
“Huh,” I said. “Some jerk must be reeeeally sorry for something.”
She turned to me. “You?”
“Me? Sure I’m sorry. For stuff. I’ve done.”
“Did you do that for me? For stupid things you’ve done lately?”
“Um.” Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “No. Not me.”
She studied me for a while then slammed her back against the seat. “Figures.”
I sat there, trying to think of something to say. Shit. There was nothing. Nothing to fucking say. This went so fucking great, didn’t it?
“Oh great,” she muttered, pulling her phone out. She looked at it then choked on incredulity. “What? I don’t remember what that means.” She threw the phone at me.
I looked at it and despite my frustration a thrill shot through me. Lucian performs edge-play on Tara.
Fuck. That could be…bad. Or good.
“What is it?” She formed the words into a command, glaring at me.
“I have to… do things that come close…to things.”
Her brows shot up. “You take a class in obscurity?”
“To put it loosely, I have to almost kill you in various ways while fucking you.”
“Oh boy.” Steve put the privacy panel up in record speed.
Tara’s eyes widened briefly before becoming bored looking. “Sounds like a blast. Can’t wait.” She removed her shirt and bra, looking up at the ceiling. “Maybe you can slip and put me out of my misery?”
Pain stabbed me and I barely managed a smile. “I don’t fuck unconscious or dead women, sweetheart.”
“Well that’s good to know.” She removed her pants next and I watched her hips come into view. Fucking amazing how the sight of her naked body was like a punch in the dick. And the sight of her pain was a punch in my heart.
I moved from the seat and knelt before her. “In the middle. And hold the back of the seat, love.”
I gazed at her breasts, letting desire take over my body and mind. I let it enter the directive I was given and skimmed my fingers over her outstretched arms then slowly toward her hard nipples and heaving chest.
“You’re ready for this?”
She swallowed and closed her eyes, not answering. I leaned in and put my mouth at her ear while strumming the back of my fingers over a nipple, gripping her arm tightly, biting into the muscle with a near angry dominance. Near brutal. “You know how much I hate hurting you?”
Her breaths came faster and erratic. No doubt her anger and desire waging a war. And I knew before it was over, that inner battle field would be bloody and my hands would be guilty. “Tell me you know how much I hate it. Just say yes.” I skimmed my lips along her jaw and nipped softly at her lips with mine, licking at the seam. I let my hunger have me and sucked her lower lip then her top with eagerness, keeping my torment steady on her nipple.
“Yes, you want it, you always do. Don’t fight it. You need this sweetheart. The pleasure with the pain.”
I sucked hungrily at her chin then cheek, letting my kisses turn gentle at her nose and forehead before turning hungry on her obstinate mouth.
I pinched her nipple and her lips parted with a cry. In a frenzy of dominance, I drove my tongue into her mouth, stroking hers, demanding submission while I soothed her nipple with the protective palm of my hand, moaning my remorse into her mouth.
“Do it,” she gasped. “Please.”
It was my insanity switch. My Tara switch. She spoke, and I lost myself to her needs and desires. Driven to meet them no matter the cost. I held both of her arms now, my fingers biting with a lethal force while my lips and tongue began a slow feasting decent. I sucked with reckless hunger at her neck and shoulder blade, biting the muscle hard enough to bring that edge-play pain. Just at the edge of too much.
I made it to her breasts and she was calling my name, begging. I sucked one nipple then devoured the mound with an open mouth, my tongue tasting every inch of her before biting the tender flesh too fucking hard.
“Lucian!”
I flew to her mouth with rough and demanding kisses. “Fucking so sorry baby.” The words croaked in desperation, praying she’d feel them to her soul, know how much I meant them. I skimmed my hand down her stomach and scratched her legs. “Open them. As wide as you can.”
She obeyed with a whimper and I pulled away from her face and watched her as I stroked her folds. I slid my finger slowly inside her, putting my mouth next to hers. When I reached bottom, I let my hunger go and flicked her core with a growl. Her mouth flew open with a cry of pleasure and I licked and sucked at her lips.
She turned into my kiss, her desperate moans filling my mouth, driving me crazy. She pumped on my hand and I pressed my palm into her pelvis, pushing her ass hard into the seat while I explored her beautiful fucking secrets. I was officially delirious with that all fucking mine insanity as I kissed, sucked, and bit my way down her body. Her cries of pain and pleasure burned my mind but all I could think about was tasting her, sucking the orgasm from her body.
Once between her legs, I became more insane as I inhaled her unique scent, letting my brain carve it into my every fiber. I reached up and placed my hand on her neck, holding her down while I administered the perfect suction on her clit, stroking her g-spot and pressing her ass with my ring finger.
The car filled with the sounds of my un-fed hunger and her desperate need for what I was giving her. I clamped my fingers harder around her neck, feeling her moans and heartbeat. She grabbed at my hand on her throat and I resisted her efforts to pull it away while I penetrated her ass with the ring finger.
She cried out and rocked on my mouth, her hands moving to my head and clutching a handful of hair making me do it just right on her swee
t clit. Fucking God, yes. I clamped my fingers on her neck again and she grunted for air, again clawing at my hand. I allowed her to pry my fingers a little and let up just enough to keep her from panicking. I continued the hellish balance of bringing her to the pleasure and pain edge until she thrashed beneath my lips with her approaching orgasm. I sucked her clit into my mouth and she broke finally with a screech. I slowly tightened my fingers on her neck, feeling the sound of her orgasm in my hand as she bucked and squirmed.
She slapped at my hand and I loosened my hold, releasing her gasping moans. Sweetest fucking song ever.
I kissed my way up her body, my cock raging for release. At her mouth I held her jaw firmly with one hand and kissed her, forcing her to taste herself on me. On me where she belonged “You were fucking delicious baby.” I pushed her mouth open to kiss deeply, groaning with need. “Were you scared?”
Her fingers danced on my outrageous hard on. “No…I was…” She fought with the buttons on my jeans. “Annoyed.”
I grinned on her mouth, happy with that answer. “You better not be scared. I’d be pissed.” I moved her hand, determined to punish myself for what I’d done to her earlier. “Just you, love.”
“What? That’s not what it said.” She began to eat at my mouth and lift my shirt.
“No, stop.”
“You stop.” She shoved up my shirt and pushed me into the seat. I watched her mouth on my abs, and I gasped with need, torn with conviction. She stroked on my length through my jeans while fighting with the button. “I need to have you. Please. Inside me.”
I shoved her hands out the way and got out of my clothes. Before I could pull her onto my lap, she shoved my legs open with a dominance that sent my desire into orbit. I braced my arms on the seat as she grabbed the base of my cock with both hands and went to devouring my entire length. “Good fucking God.” I grit my teeth then hissed, pushing into her mouth while she raked at the inside of my thighs with hunger. Her throat tightened around the head of my cock and my orgasm started to roar forth.
She pulled back fast, until her lips came off me with a pop.
“Ffuuccckkk, Tara, what are you doing?”
Instead of answering, she climbed astride my lap and poised with the pulsing tip of my erection barely touching her wet folds. I rolled my hips with frustration, trying to get inside her. She lowered herself slightly, taking just the head inside, then withdrawing, dragging a growl from me.
I let go of the seat and gripped her hips with desperate fingers and tried to pull her down on me, but she resisted, allowing me just a little. Over and over until my mind reeled with a mixture of agony and pleasure, and her frustrated cries rang in my ears.
Finally, she lowered herself all the way, taking me fully inside. I took over, hands clamped tight on her waist, driving into her sweet body. “God, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you, baby. I’m not stopping. I’m not fucking stopping, I’m coming.” And God did I ever.
Chapter Eleven
“You know, I think you might actually like my father. But definitely my mother. And maybe you’ll get to meet my brother and sisters.”
Tara looked at me from her side of the car. She’d gone back to keeping a safe distance from me and I don’t even think she was aware of how far it actually was. Or maybe she did know. Either way, it was too fucking far. “Why? Are we meeting them?”
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Pretty?”
“Yes.” I halfway watched the city pass us by. “Pretty sure it’s the last domination.”
After she didn’t answer for a while I looked at her. My heart lurched unexpectedly at the concern in her face, something I hadn’t seen there in what felt like forever. I looked away when I realized it weakened me, made me need her.
With the way things were going, that was the last thing I needed to need. Something or somebody I wouldn’t have at my side for this last battle. That was the intention, I’d realized. To break her away from me so I had to go alone to this final crucifixion. She’d get to watch though. Spectator. She’d likely be sorry in the moment but it would be too late. I would have found that place inside me I always went when around him. The numb place. I couldn’t help but go there and I was sure it would cost us everything. I would become the little boy who hid. I knew it in my bones.
Without her… I was… nothing different.
“Are you scared?” Her soft voice tugged me to her safety.
I rubbed a hand on my leg, resisting the temptation. “Not really, no.”
“Not really?”
“I’m… actually kind of numb to him.” How to explain it without giving too much away?
“Why?”
Again her tender voice shook my resolve. I shrugged, trying to find easy words to explain it without banging on the monster’s cage. “Practice. Years of practice. You can’t go forever being abused and not find a defense against it. Makes sense to you I’m sure?”
She of all people would know. “Yes, I get that.”
“I know you do.” Thinking of her pain was an easy distraction for me. “How are you sweetheart? Are you okay?”
She seemed to suddenly struggle with emotions. And words.
“Can I hold you? Just for a bit.” Frantic need broke through my casual tone and without looking at me, she slowly scooted to my side. I opened my arms, not caring that she hesitated and fought something, I was too desperate to give a fuck.
Next to me, she put her arms around my neck and hugged my head, pressing her face into mine, her hands running up into my hair softly. “What was it like to have a father? Tell me your best memory.”
My heart ached terribly that she had no memories. I couldn’t fathom that kind of empty pain. I fought to think of something for her, something good. “When I was five… we talked at a campfire together. It was only a few minutes, but he told me a story about when he was a young man. To me it sounded like an adventure, the way he said it. He was a good story teller. Very animated.” I stroked her back, closing my eyes when she kissed my ear. “It was a story about him working on a farm. On a tractor. And he hit a beehive and the bees began stinging him and he had to jump off the tractor and run to the pond to get away from them. He said,” I smiled to myself at the memory, “that he must’ve kicked the tractor into gear when he jumped off because about five minutes later, it showed up, put-put-put-put-putting toward the pond.” I chuckled. “My father laughed really loud at that part. He was so…different when he was happy.”
I shut the memory quickly to keep out the events that followed. They always followed. Pain always followed everything good with him. I hugged her close to me, needing to forget. “Tell me your best memory with your grandmother?”
She pulled away and smiled at me, and the tiny gesture warmed all the cold places inside me. “Definitely the time we delivered those pigs. I’d read Charlotte’s Web and it only made sense that I’d be Fern and Charlotte.”
“Fern and Charlotte?”
“Oh yeah, I had it all planned. I’d pick the smallest of the liter, raise it like Fern did. But then I’d have to give him up for nature’s sake and at that point I’d become Charlotte and find a way to save him.” She smiled. “Gramma made no pretenses about what the pig would eventually be for, so… yeah. He needed a savior. And I was sure I could be that.”
I stroked on her cheek with a thumb. “What did you name the pig?”
“Duh. Wilbur.”
I smiled. “Right. And was he cute?”
Her face bloomed in a huge smile that stole my heart. “He was sooooo adorable.” She made that little snorting noise and I chuckled.
“Is that where you learned that?”
She looked at me, her eyes twinkling. “Learned what?”
“That little pig sound you do.”
She did it again and burst out laughing. “Huh. I guess maybe it is.”
My body filled with the sudden need to consume her utterly in that moment. I swallowed, fighting it back, letting my fingers play a
long the happy pulse at her neck.
“Don’t you want to know?” she asked. “If I saved Wilbur?”
“Not if…”
“I did save him.” She smiled that radiant smile again, nodding proudly.
“You did? Thank God,” I sighed, “I was thinking it ended badly.”
She kept smiling and shook her head. “That’s because I bought her. I worked and saved money to buy her. That was the only way I could keep her, if I paid for what it would cost in bacon as Gramma’d say. A pig is supper on the table.”
“Bacon atrocity.”
“Exactly,” she said, glad I saw her side.
Again that need to have her hit me, nearly stealing my breath. She saw it and her smile slowly faded as her eyes locked on mine. I was paralyzed with need, everything I’d ever been before I met her was gone. I suddenly didn’t know what I was supposed to do in that second, I only knew I was supposed to do something.
She seemed to fight her own battles and the words I’m sorry jumped on my tongue. I remembered I couldn’t say them and agony tore through me. Then I remembered the plan to compensate. Only, my throat was shut tight and I couldn’t voice how much I loved her.
She suddenly took my face in her hands and kissed me. It broke that dam holding it all back and I grabbed her face as well, fighting to kiss her deep enough and with the exact measure of love singing in my veins.
“Make love to me Lucian. Hurry.”
The urgent longing in her voice spoke to my hands and immediately they began to comply, removing all manner of clothing. I laid her down on the seat and settled between her thighs. I kissed her softly as I entered her entirely, all at once, gaining that sharp gasp I fucking had to have. Her nails roamed my body with hunger—along my shoulders, my scalp, my back, sides, then ass.
“Tara,” I whispered, moving inside her, lost in her. “Tara.” Her name was all I could say. All I needed. Wanted.
“I love you,” she gasped. “Always.”
Those words lit me on fire, starting at my soul and filling my muscles with that bubbly joy and unspeakable hunger. I let it loose in my kiss, in my thrusts, in my fingers wrapped in her hair. I had to keep her, hold her, pin her as I took her hard, deeper, faster, forcing her cries into my mouth and mind, burning them into my fucking heart.