The past three years have been bleak without the light she brings to my life. I knew from the moment we crashed into each other in the hallway that she and I would have a relationship. Once I saw her, I was gone. Hook. Line. And. Sinker. Having her was the only thing I could think of. I fell in love with her quickly and I’m not sure if there’s a man alive that could keep themselves from falling for her. She’s the epitome of what I want in a woman. I had to do some convincing to get Shelby on board, but once she was in, she was in all the way. I know I destroyed all the progress she had made, with learning to trust, but I had no choice. Somehow I have to make her understand how desperate the situation was and that leaving was the only option I had.
Chapter 20
Shelby
It’s Monday morning and unfortunately, that means back to the grind. We had such an amazing weekend on the cape with Hailey and Cory. I wish we could’ve stayed there for a couple more days. It makes me somewhat sad to think that we won’t be going back there again until late spring. First we have to make it through a whole lot of cold weather and more snow than I want to think about right now. It’s hard to believe that winter temperatures are right around the corner, especially when it’s a scorching eighty degrees outside, today.
When I chose my outfit this morning, I couldn’t bear the thought of wearing long pants, so I chose a pink, loose, flowy skirt that will help to keep me cool. The hemline is a bit shorter than I would normally wear to work but it’s not so high that it’s scandalous. I paired it with flat sandals so it wouldn’t shrink up even more. I’m also wearing one of my favorite shirts. It’s a fitted black tee shirt, made out extremely soft cotton. It feels whisper light against my skin. The neckline has a slight V-shape to it and it emphasizes my bigger than average, sized chest. I added a large, chunky necklace made out of jett glass beads to draw everyone’s eyes up toward my neck and away from my breasts. I don’t think it’s working, though, because when I was saying goodbye to J this morning he stuck his index finger in my snug cleavage and wiggled it back and forth. Then he told me he wished he had time to put his cock in there. I just smiled and shook my head at him. Then I grabbed him and laid a kiss on him that will hopefully, have him thinking about me all day. I know I’ll be fantasizing about how hot his ass looked this morning in his black track pants and how his rock hard abs were being hugged by the snug fit of his Beacon University polo shirt. Add to all that, his tousled brown hair, short trimmed beard and his baby blues and your panties could go up in flames or melt right off of you. I often find mine falling off around him.
As I walk toward my classroom, I notice Garrett talking with Melina. They’re further down the hall than me, but I’m close enough to clearly see her put her hand on his arm and lean into him as he speaks. Her methods of flirting are pretty obvious and unoriginal but it’s none of my business. Maybe he’ll sleep with her and leave me alone. There may be a slight pang in my heart at the thought of him bumping uglies with that woman. I can only imagine what crazy sounds would come out of her mouth during sex. A large shudder runs through my body at the horrible turn my thoughts have taken. I glance at Melina and notice the short length of her skirt. I wonder if there’s a dress code for teachers, here at Bentley? I should probably read the rest of the paperwork I was given when I first started. I may be breaking all kinds of rules I don’t even know about.
I’m almost upon the conversing couple now and my stomach feels as if it flips in on itself all because I have to pass by Garrett. He sees me approaching and locks his eyes on mine until Melina once again touches him, drawing his attention back to her. I take the opportunity to look her over while she has no idea. She’s too busy trying to keep him occupied. Her black hair hangs in a middle parted poker straight bob, to her shoulders. She’s tall, almost as tall as he is and she’s model thin. Her chest is enormous and obviously fake. No one has perfectly circular boobs like that in real life. I bet she has a thigh gap too. Hailey and I always say that women with thigh gaps can’t be trusted. I can’t remember how we came up with that theory, but so far we’ve yet to see it disproven.
I increase the tempo of my steps and hope that I can make it to my room without being accosted by Garrett. I know he’s probably sore that I didn’t stop by his office last Friday like he wanted. Instead, I kept my distance and my peace of mind intact. I breathe a sigh of relief as I pass through my doorway. I walk over to my desk, setting down my tote, before plugging my coffee maker in. I’m feeling fatigued this morning. I think it has something to do with all the alcohol I consumed this weekend combined with the lack of sleep I got. I’m experiencing some soreness between my thighs this morning from all the sex J and I had. It’s a great reminder of our awesome weekend and our off the charts hot sex life.
As I begin to get things organized my phone beeps with my text message tone. When I pick it up, I notice it’s from Jeff. I’m already smiling before I even open it and see what he said.
Have a great day. JRILY Aww, he’s so sweet.
I love you more. ;)
Impossible. He makes me feel so loved all the time. He gives me those warm and fuzzy feelings, like my favorite blanket wrapped around me, only a thousand times better because it’s Jeff and he’s gorgeous inside and out. I put my phone down and focus on the important task at hand which is making my much-needed cup of coffee. After seeing Garrett, I’m wishing I could add a shot of liquor to it. I could use a little extra something, something to help me make it through this day. I can already tell it’s going to be a rough one. Mondays already suck on their own without any extra help from Garrett.
I sit down in my chair and take a sip of my coffee as I read through some essays I didn’t get a chance to correct this weekend and I came in an hour early, specifically for this reason. It only takes me a moment to shut out everything but the paper I’m looking over. I’ve always been able to completely lose myself in a good story and some of my students are really talented writers. I’m so focused on what I’m reading I miss the knock on my door. It’s only as Garrett enters the room, closing the door behind him, that I become aware of his presence. Fuck. Do we really have to do this now? Monday you suck. This day is slowly becoming my own personal hell.
I let my eyes wash over Garrett as he walks toward me. He’s wearing a dark green dress shirt with a black tie. As he gets closer, I can make out small diagonal stripes in varying shades of green. His black dress pants fit him better than I’d like and his black wing tips are shined to perfection. Garrett in jeans and a tee shirt is hot but seeing him dressed so professionally adds a whole other level to his fuckability. Why does he have to be so attractive? The physical attraction that still hums between us complicates everything. Maybe I just need to stop looking at him? It can’t hurt.
He stops beside my desk and my thoughts flashback to last Friday when he was standing in the exact same spot.
“Hello, Shelby.” There it is. The way he says my name sends chills down my spine. It promises sensually erotic acts and surrounds me with bad intentions. His voice is tauntingly deep and provocative. It makes me remember things...things I don't want to think about...things best forgotten.
"Garrett." I can feel my throat tighten from the panic his presence provokes.
"Why didn't you come to my office after school, on Friday?"
"I didn't have time to. We went away for the weekend and I needed to get home to pack. Why do I need to explain myself? I don’t have to justify my actions to him.
“Where did you guys go?” I can’t believe he has the nerve to ask me this. What the ever-loving hell is he thinking?
“Garrett, I really don’t think we need to talk about my weekend away. Why are you here?” I ask him as bluntly and concisely as I can. I take a sip of my now not so hot coffee as I wait for him to answer me.
“We need to talk Shelby. I know you don’t want to, but there are things that I need to tell you. There was a very valid reason why I left you and maybe once you hear it, you’ll have a sense of closure. M
aybe you won’t hate me anymore and we can, at least, work on being friends. I’ve missed you, doll.” No. He. Didn’t.
“Don’t call me that. I’m not your doll, I’m not your anything. I’m an employee at the school you happen to be the headmaster at. That’s the total sum of our relationship as it exists now and that’s how I want it to stay. There’s nothing you could tell me that would make me feel differently about you. You may have had your reasons for leaving, but you certainly didn’t share them with me. Do you know what it was like to walk into the condo and find it empty of your things? There are some things that you never fully get over, Garrett and there are no magic words to make it all better.” By the time I finish berating him, my eyes are welling with tears. I take another sip of my coffee and busy myself shifting papers around on top of my desk, looking anywhere, but at him.
“I’m sorry, this isn’t a time I should be bringing this up. We’ll have that conversation sooner or later. I don’t care if that means knocking on your door to do it. I remember where you live Shelby and if you ever get the urge to visit me, I’m still in the same condo.” I can feel my blood pressure rising as I take in what he just said.
“Why do you have to be such an asshole?” I ask in a biting tone.
“I’m not trying to be an asshole. I just want you to hear me out at some point. It doesn’t have to be today.”
“Pfft, that’s good, because it’s not going to be today or any other time in the near future. I’ve waited three years to hear your excuses, I’m confident I can wait some more.” I roll my eyes at him and shake my head in disgust.
“I’ll let you get to work now. See you later,” he opens the door and just as he’s about to close it, I hear him say “doll.” Ugh! I drop my head down on top of my desk. I should be banging my head on the wooden desk to knock Garrett out of my thoughts. If I knew it would work, I would do it in a heartbeat. He pisses me off so badly and yet I’m still tempted to get reacquainted with his lips.
***
I sit with Sloane and Max at lunchtime. I’m starting to interact more with some of the other teachers too. Melina still gets on my nerves with her nasty cackle and loud voice. Her friend Lindsay isn’t much better. Although, she’s not half as loud and her laugh is slightly less annoying. The two of them whispering with their heads pressed close together, reminds me of high school all over again. How ridiculous that they’ve nothing better to do than gossip about everyone else. It makes my stomach turn. I hate busy bodies and I’m not one to put up with being bullied by a couple of pathetic mean girls that never grew up. It’s time for someone to put them in their place and if they bother me, I’ll gladly be the one to take care of it. It’s times like this that I’m grateful I have four older brothers. I never had to deal with gossipy bitches and they taught me to speak up for myself. When you’re the youngest in a big family, you learn to make yourself heard, out of necessity, if nothing else.
“So what are you going to do this coming weekend while Jeff is away?” Sloane asks as she picks up her bottle of water.
“I’m not sure,” I answer as l try to motivate myself to eat. I’m just getting over a stomach bug that kicked my ass for a few days. I hate throwing up more than pretty much anything. Luckily, I was able to work through the illness and the worst of it fell on the weekend. For some reason, I was able to function during the day and I only threw up at night.
“I know Hailey will have something planned. We haven’t been out without the guys for a while now.”
***
The next four work days pass by without any Garrett incidents and I’m feeling great as I head into my weekend. Jeff is out of town with the football team and Hailey and I are going out tonight. We haven’t had a girl’s night out in a long time. It will be just like old times, with neither of our guys there and we can talk about anything we want.
I’m standing in front of my closet in a short bathrobe, trying to decide what to wear. My hair and makeup are already done. I went all out on my hair, spending an hour straightening it and then adding loose curls throughout. I also, made my makeup more dramatic than usual, since Hailey wants to go to this new club that just opened. That means I need to wear something better than the skinny jeans I would normally throw on. I browse through the hanging garments waiting for one piece to jump out at me, but no such luck. It’s only on my third pass through all of the hangers that I notice a brand new black dress, the tags still on it. It’s made of a jersey material and it clings to my body more than I’d like, but it’s going to have to do. I throw on my leopard print stilettos, grab my clutch and I’m on my way.
We agreed to meet at nine o’clock in front of the club and as I pull up in the cab, my eyes are already perusing the crowd for her gorgeous face. Hailey is on the short side, I have her beat by a couple of inches, but she has a body to die for. She’s curvy in all the right places, especially her backside. She kind of resembles a young Megan Fox, with her black hair and blue eyes. However, her eyes are like none I’ve ever seen before or, at least, I hadn’t before meeting her. They’re a beautiful light turquoise blue, like a tropical sea. When people see them for the first time, they always stare in shock. I call it being Hailey-struck and she thinks I’m ridiculous for saying that, but it’s true. It’s almost as if they forget how to speak at the first glimpse of her blue gaze. There’s almost always a hesitation for a few seconds and then they snap out of it and resume the conversation.
I pay the cab driver and exit the cab. I close the door and step away from the car noticing how unsteady my stiletto heels seem on the uneven pavement of the city sidewalk. As I walk along, I search for Hailey and it only takes me a few seconds before I spot her. She’s in line about ten people back from the entrance. She must have come earlier than our agreed upon time because the line behind her is long and increasing in size rapidly as more and more people arrive. Hailey catches sight of me as I’m almost to her.
“Hey girlie, how are you?” She asks me and enfolds me in a hug. I squeeze her back and think of how much I value her friendship. This girl has always been there for me when I need her and it’s difficult to find true friends. Hailey isn’t a fair weather friend, she’s an I’ll stick by your side until the very end and we’ll go together, kicking and screaming friend.
“I’m okay, how about you?”
“I’m great. I had a really good week at school. I’m acing all my tests and so far this year seems like the easiest one. Knock on wood,” she jokes. “I probably just completely jinxed myself by saying that.”
Are you lonely with Jeff being away?” At the mention of his name, I smile softly as I think of yesterday morning's passion filled goodbye. He made love to me sweetly and slowly, savoring every moment.
“Yeah, I miss the big lug, but he’ll be back on Sunday night. We have a skype date tomorrow morning.” Hailey waggles her eyebrows at me and smirks.
“You can help him with his morning wood.” We both burst out laughing.
“I’m sure that’s what he thought when he told me what time he would call. Men are so predictable.”
We pay the cover charge and step through the doorway. Our ears are immediately assaulted by the loud bass of the music thumping through the sound system. The lighting is dim to begin with and the strobe lights flashing on and off bother my eyes. I must be getting old. I used to love the whole the club scene only a few years ago. It’s funny how experiences you go through can have such an impact on all aspects of your life. Garrett disappearing, my depression and subsequent suicide attempt, all of those things have had an immeasurable impact on me. As a result, I’ve matured a lot and I’m finally satisfied with who I am today. I have the best fiancé, I love my job, I have a great family and my health is good. What more can I ask for?
As we step up to the bar to order our drinks my eyes sweep around the room and take it all in. There’s a mad crush of bodies on the dance floor, thrusting and gyrating their hips to the beat. It makes me feel eager to get out there and shake the little b
it that my momma gave me. I’m not exactly bootylicious, but Jeff doesn’t seem to mind. He loves my body but he’s definitely a boob man, more than an ass man. My breasts aren’t exactly huge, but they do look large on my slender frame. My curves are subtle and less POW, in your face, like Hailey’s are.
The hot young male bartender approaches us with a smile on his face. His teeth are so white they almost appear to be glowing. I’m all for white teeth, but he may have taken it a few shades too far.
“What can I get for you, ladies?” He cocks his eyebrow as if he’s hoping he can help us out with more than just a drink.
“We’d like four shots of tequila, no lime, please.” Hailey orders our drinks and turns to smile at me.
“Tequila, huh. Are you trying to get me drunk?” I jokingly ask. “You know it," She replies, poking me in the side. "You need to loosen up and dance off some stress tonight." I nod in agreement. She's right, I’m extremely stressed out from everything with Garrett and dancing is a great outlet to release it. I pick up one of the glasses and tip it back. The first shot is always a shock to my system. The burning in my throat is strong so I quickly down the second one. I close my eyes for a moment and wait for the numbing feeling to wash over my body. When it hits me, it’s as if a wave of relaxation is hugging me. My limbs are tingling and they feel loose; almost noodle like. It's a good thing I don't have an addictive personality because I really like the way tequila makes me feel. It's similar to the feeling laying in the warm sun gives me. As I open my eyes, I notice Hailey has also finished with her shots.
“Are you ready to shake your moneymaker?” I ask Hailey. She snorts and grabs my hand, pulling me along, toward the dance floor. There are tons of grinding bodies all around us as we try to find an open area. The ripe odor of sweat assaults my nose and I try to inhale through my mouth to avoid breathing the odor in again. We find our spot and begin moving to the pulsing beat. Hailey and I dance well together. We usually get a fair amount of male attention when we bump and grind on each other. That’s as far as we take it, though. We’ve never been the kind of friends that make out with each other to get attention from guys. Eww, no thank you. That kind of attention, I don’t need. If you meet someone under those false pretenses, you are setting yourself up for a doomed relationship, unless you want to make out with your bestie on a regular basis to keep your man happy. I can keep my man happy on my own, just fine. As I think of Jeff, a feeling of longing overtakes me and I wish he were here with me. If he were, he’d be right behind me, pressing his hardness into my ass and his hands would be roaming over me in a very un-PG like way.
Waiting for Love ((Waiting) Book 2) Page 19