She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, and took a fortifying breath that leaked out as she stepped inside. The building was warm, so warm she had to shed her gloves and pretty woolen cap. Her coat was next. She had it untied and halfway down her shoulders when Tommy breezed around a partition with his achingly familiar gait. His friendly smile dissolved the moment recognition hit. He jammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “What are you doing here?”
She reached for her bag where she’d carefully placed the drawings and graphs, but she realized she’d left it in the car, along with her purse and her phone. She’d come to talk business, explain facts and figures—the fabric of her livelihood—and yet she’d left everything in the car. She stood before him a woman only. A woman so exposed, so defenseless, she may as well have been naked. “I’m here to talk business.”
“Business?” His voice sounded so disgusted, his eyes appeared so penetrating, that she felt her bones calcify. He could break her in half with so little effort. “We don’t have any business that needs discussing.”
“Holcomb thinks we do. I work for him. I’m his voice in this negotiation.”
“You think you can negotiate people’s lives and livelihoods? I should have known Ryan’s God complex would rub off on you.”
She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. “Nothing of Ryan’s rubbed off on me.”
“Really?” He moved closer, stopping next to a rack of ski jackets. He rested his arm on the metal holder in a casual move, but he held his body tenser than a coiled snake. “I’d say there’s a ten-year-old boy who might think differently.”
She clamped her lips together and worried she might draw blood. She wouldn’t discuss Alex. She couldn’t. “I’ll get my case from the car, and we can at least try to discuss the specifics in a civilized manner.”
“There’s nothing civilized about this development and its effects on the valley. And I’m not feeling all that hospitable at the moment. You should do what you do best and run along before things get messy.”
She saw the tension around his eyes, the finger tracks through his hair, and the unshaven face. He looked exhausted and as brittle as a stick. She wasn’t the only one affected by their reunion. “I’m not running. I have a job to do, and I’m going to do it with or without your help.”
“Do you think you’ll get anywhere with STS without me?”
“You’re a large and varied group. If I have to contact every member, explain to them our plans, I will. I’m not afraid of hard work, and I’m quite familiar with the valley.”
“Yes, so you’ve said.” He dropped his arm and stepped closer. “Have you been to the pass? Have you seen the lift and the land you’ll destroy with your village?”
Gretchen refused to budge despite her instincts screaming for her to put distance between them. She tilted her head back and looked into his molten eyes. He looked dangerous and so like the angry boy she’d met when their parents married. Just as before, she was infringing on his territory and threatening to change what was his. “No, as a matter of fact, I haven’t. I wasn’t sure my rental could navigate the roads.”
His eyes lit up for a moment before a predatory smile moved slowly over his face. “You’re in luck. I happen to have a four-wheel drive vehicle and enough time to drive you up before we lose the light.”
“Now?” she said. “You want me to see the pass now?”
“Why not? Do you have something better to do?”
It felt like a trap. Would he push her down a mountain? Plunge them both over a cliff? Abandon her at the top of the peak? “No, but…”
He walked back to the counter. “I’ll make a quick call, grab my keys, and we’ll go.”
After instructing someone on the other end of the line to come over within the hour, he folded a ski jacket over his arm. Gretchen watched him shut off the lights and lock the door as she struggled to put her coat, hat, and gloves back on. With the store locked, he strode toward the truck. Despite his obvious discomfort, he surprised her by holding open the passenger door and helping her inside.
“I don’t have my purse,” she said as the truck rumbled to life.
“No need. We won’t be long.”
“I need to get my cell phone.”
“Won’t work ten minutes up the road.” He turned onto the highway and gunned the engine. “You won’t even miss it.”
She hoped not, since he obviously wasn’t planning to stop and let her get it. She leaned against the leather seats and glanced around the cab. The interior was as neat and clean as he used to keep his Jeep in college. “You still keep a neat car.”
“No sense living like a pig.” He spared her a glance. “I bet you’ve already trashed your rental.”
She couldn’t hold back her grin. “I may have thrown one or two water bottles in the back.”
He snorted and said nothing more. The past hung like a barrier between them. Gretchen tried to focus on the soaring mountains and the spruce trees that grew like arrows toward the sky, but her eyes kept wandering back to Tommy. His long fingers gripped the wheel and tapped along to the country tune he played on low. He stared straight ahead carefully navigating the twists and turns, as she admired his profile. He was still so handsome, so natural and unaffected, so unlike the men she dealt with in Chicago. In the small cab, she smelled his masculine scent, so different from her son’s boyish smell. The farther they drove, the darker it became as the mountains impeded the light.
She pulled off her cap and gloves when the cab’s heater finally took the edge off the cold. “How far is it?”
“Another five miles or so. Doesn’t take but twenty minutes to get up there.”
Gretchen watched as giant snowflakes began to fall. “Do you ski?”
He cut his eyes in her direction, barely moving his head. “Too busy with work.” He jerked his hand, and the wipers removed the snow from his windshield.
“Did you ever?” When he didn’t answer, she said, “You’ve lived in the valley for a long time. I assumed you skied when you were younger. You’ve always loved to compete.”
She heard his teeth clamp shut, and his jaw appeared sharp enough to cut glass. “You don’t know me. You don’t know what I loved. You never did.”
Chapter 25
Tommy twisted his grip on the steering wheel and struggled to remain calm. What had possessed him to suggest a ride to Bear Stream? Seeing her in his shop was like taking a punch to the gut. Or maybe the head. Dodge had gotten to him. You’ve got questions. She’s got the answers. He had no other explanation for asking her to go away and then suggesting they take a road trip together.
Her scent filled the small cab. She smelled as clean and fresh as a new spring day like the morning smells when the ground was covered in dew and possibilities seem endless. He had no possibilities with Gretchen. There was nothing fresh and new about the pain and bitterness that soured his stomach and left him unable to sleep.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered before turning her head and staring out the window.
He wouldn’t feel sorry for upsetting her. He wouldn’t apologize for saying what lay heavy on his heart and mind. If she didn’t like the truth, she should never have come to the valley. “I don’t want your pity.”
Her head swiveled around, and he felt her eyes boring into the side of his face. He tried to quell his anger, tamp it down like he did whenever someone irritated him, but Gretchen wasn’t just someone. She’d changed the course of his life and left him struggling to put the pieces back together.
“I don’t pity you, Tommy. You seem to have a wonderful life.”
“Do I?” He adjusted the wipers when the trickle of snow became a steady stream. He squinted against the glare.
“I assume so. You have friends and four very successful businesses.” She ran her leather gloves between her fingers. “Of course, I can’t speak for your personal life.”
Tommy snorted. He pressed the brakes harder than he’d intended and the back end f
ishtailed. “You never could. I used to think you were protecting me from your father by keeping our relationship a secret, but I guess that was just how you rolled.” He didn’t take his eyes off the road, but he felt her tense and heard the air whishing in and out of her lungs. Good, he thought. Get mad. Feel something other than pity.
“I didn’t cheat on you. That’s not what happened.”
“Oh, really? I’ve seen a picture of your son. He’s the spitting image of his father.”
“He’s nothing like his father,” she spat. “You don’t know anything about him. You don’t know anything at all.”
Tommy couldn’t keep his attention on the road when the strained edges of his temper frayed. He felt the vein in his head pulse as he gripped the wheel in a white-knuckle grasp. When he spotted the familiar road, he turned off, slammed the truck into park, and faced the woman who’d not only broken his heart but shattered it into a thousand pieces. “You’re damn right I don’t know anything. You made sure of that.”
Her chest heaved, and she slammed her lips closed. “I think we should turn around. I want to go back.”
“Oh, no, you don’t. You started this. You had to know we’d end up here when you ambushed me at the meeting.”
“I was ambushed, too. I didn’t want to face you.”
“Did your guilty conscience get the best of you? My God, it only took ten years.”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
Tommy struggled with his temper and the words that wanted to break free. She’d humiliated him. He’d left everything behind because he couldn’t deal with the pain and anger and because he wasn’t sure he could face her again without trying to retaliate. He didn’t want to lash out at her, but he knew the only way to let go of the hurt was to be honest. Maybe if she knew what she’d done, she’d go home and leave him in peace.
“You didn’t hurt me. Hurt is too thin a word to describe how I felt when you took off. I was panicked at first. I was so damn worried that something had happened to you. I went home thinking you must have gone there when you’d left campus, but your father said you’d decided to drop out for the semester. I knew he was lying, I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t find you. For a solid month, I did nothing but worry.”
He’d leave out the drinking and the skipped classes. Quitting the team had seemed only logical when he could barely put one foot in front of the other. “It wasn’t you who told me you were married, but my mother. She forgot to mention the baby growing in your belly. Good thing, since I probably would have made a fool of myself trying to prove it was mine.”
Gretchen’s eyes filled with tears as he spoke and they ran down her face in slow, methodical ribbons. She gulped in a breath when he finally stopped. She shook as she held in the cries he knew wanted to escape, and he felt nothing. Not guilt, not pain, nothing but blessed numbness. He couldn’t sit still and watch her crumble because of something she’d done to both of them.
He yanked the door open and stalked away, taking in huge gulps of biting air. He stared off into the distance and tried to get his emotions in check. He felt exhausted and hollow. Only after a few minutes of staring into the white-washed scenery did he realize the pelting snow was accumulating and fast. She’d get her wish. They’d have to return.
Her door opened as he turned back for the truck. “Get inside,” he shouted. “It’s snowing too hard. We have to head back.”
She didn’t listen and stalked toward him. “You need to hear the truth.”
“I’m done. I’m so fucking done. Get in the truck, and I’ll take you back to your car.”
“No,” she said and wiped a snowflake from her cheek. “You need to hear the truth, and we’re not going anywhere until you do.”
Chapter 26
Shiloh entered the bank on the corner of Main Street and Pine wearing the same skirt and blouse she’d been wearing when she came home. The same outfit she’d worn on her last day of work in Denver. Who knew, when she’d stormed out of her home in Denver, that the next time she’d wear those clothes would be for an interview in Hailey.
Considering she’d worked in a multi-state bank in Denver as an assistant for one of the area’s most successful vice presidents, she felt sure she was qualified for the opening. She couldn’t sit around her parents’ house one more day waiting for Kevin to figure things out, so she’d scoured the local paper and found the ad. She smoothed a hand over the twist in her hair and pasted on a polite smile as the branch manager approached.
“Shiloh? Well, goodness. I haven’t seen you in over a year.” They shook hands like professionals even though Shiloh and Mrs. Lyon’s daughter, Kelly, had attended school from kindergarten to twelfth grade together. “Look how pretty you are.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Lyons.”
“Come on back to my office.”
Shiloh followed the woman along the wall of windows, past the line of tellers, and into the back where potted plants marked the entrances to five offices. Mrs. Lyons entered the third office and closed the door behind Shiloh. She directed Shiloh to have a seat and meandered around the large wooden desk. The chair creaked as she sat.
“I understand you’re interested in the administrative assistant position.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Mrs. Lyons set her elbows on the leather blotter and linked her fingers. Her bangle bracelets clanked. “I’m confused, honey. I thought you and Kevin lived in Denver.”
“We did.” Shiloh cleared her throat. She wasn’t expecting to have to explain her living situation. “We’re back.”
“Oh.” The single word, and the way she dropped her eyes, told Shiloh Mrs. Lyons thought the worst. “I see.”
“I brought my resume.” Shiloh pulled the sheet she’d printed off that morning from her notebook.
“Great.” Mrs. Lyons smiled, grateful to have a distraction. “Let’s have a look. You worked in a bank until recently?”
“I worked for Sapphire Bank in Denver for over a year.”
“There’s a bit of a gap here between graduation and your job.”
“Well, Kevin and I got married right after school, and then we moved to Denver. It took a while to get settled.”
“And what did you do as an assistant to the vice president?”
“Credit checks and analyses, loan underwriting and loan origination, as well as whatever needed to be done for the board of directors.”
“Well, you sound perfectly qualified. We’re a little smaller than Sapphire, as you know, and our deposits aren’t nearly as large. I don’t know what you were making in Denver, but our salary is most likely considerably less.”
“I’m prepared to take a pay cut.” Shiloh prayed it wasn’t too significant a cut.
Mrs. Lyons nodded and set the paper aside with deliberate care. She raised her eyes to Shiloh and smiled without showing her teeth. “How long will you be in town?”
“Excuse me?” Shiloh asked. “What do you mean?”
“Are you back for good?”
“I…I’m not sure. I think so.” In the time it took for Mrs. Lyons to breathe, Shiloh felt her chances of getting the job disappear.
“Shiloh, honey, I’d like to offer you this job. I’d have to check your references, of course, but I’ve known you long enough to know they’ll be fine.”
Shiloh let out the breath she was holding. She got it. She got the job.
“However…”
Uh-oh.
“We look for stability when we hire employees. It takes too much time and financial commitment to train someone who may or may not be around in a year. I know there are no guarantees when hiring an employee, but we do our best to judge appropriately. If you’re not sure how long you’ll be in town, I won’t be able to offer you the position.”
Shiloh wanted to interject and tell the woman she would be around for good, but she knew she couldn’t make that promise. “I understand.”
“If you and Kevin decide to make Hailey home for good, give me a call.
We’d love to have you on the team.”
Shiloh stood and reached across the desk to shake Mrs. Lyons’ hand. “I appreciate your time.”
She kept her chin up as she walked through the building and outside in the bitter cold and wind. When she closed the door to her car, her eyes lowered and her shoulders slumped. She wanted to be mad, but she couldn’t quite light her temper. She didn’t blame Mrs. Lyons for not wanting to hire her since her future was so unsure. She wanted to blame Kevin, but he’d been fired. If she hadn’t left him and come running home, they’d have probably ended up back in Hailey anyway.
They were back, living apart, not sleeping together, and barely seeing one another. She was fine with being home. She was fine with starting over, but it was past time to face Kevin and make some decisions about their future. Together.
Chapter 27
Gretchen felt as if a giant boulder had toppled off the mountainside and landed on her chest. The only way out was to clear the air and deal with whatever was left. There wasn’t any holding back, not when he’d cut her soul in two. It was time to be honest, damn the consequences to all of them.
“I loved you. I loved you with everything I had.” Her lips had trouble forming words; it could have been from the cold, or it could have been the sight of him flinching. “The day I took off, I went to your apartment. Ryan saw me on your doorstep and told me you had to stay late after practice. I don’t know where he came from. It was like he was watching me or something. At least that’s how he made me feel.” She still remembered the way she’d felt that day, the warm sun on her back and the cool shiver that ran down her spine when she heard his voice. He still made her feel that way.
“When I turned to leave, he invited me inside his apartment. I said no, that I needed to get back to my apartment, but he said if you and I wanted to do a better job of hiding our relationship, it would be a good idea for me to spend time with someone else. I’m not sure how, but he knew we were together. It sounded like a threat.” It had looked like one too, the way he’d sneered at her and held his body against the brick facade.
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