by Pamela Yaye
Robyn opened her mouth, but then she realized she didn’t know what to say and slammed it shut. Only Kim and Gabby knew what had happened with her college sweetheart, Gary Edmonds, but she wanted to open up to Sean, felt compelled to tell him the truth. “Gary and I had a rocky relationship from the start, but in spite of our differences, we dated off and on my first two years of college.”
“Did you think he was the one?”
“Yes, of course. He was my first love and I thought we’d be together forever.” Gazing out at the night sky, she allowed her thoughts to wander, to return to her junior year. Her pulse quickened, and perspiration soaked her skin. She was sweating like a tourist lost in the hood and her heart was beating so fast she feared it would explode out of her chest. “I found out I was pregnant just weeks after my twentieth birthday, and my whole world fell apart.”
His pupils dilated, and his jaw fell slack. “I had no idea.”
“No one did. Only Kim and Gabby, and I swore them to secrecy.”
“Was your ex supportive? Was he excited about the baby?”
“I thought he was...” Robyn hesitated, waited for the room to stop spinning. She felt a rush of emotion and bit the inside of her cheek to keep her tears at bay. Opening up about her past was harder than she thought, but since she wanted him to understand her better, she soldiered on. “Gary proposed on the spot and promised to be there for me and the baby.”
“Sounds like a stand-up guy.”
“He wasn’t. It was all an act.” An acrid taste filled her mouth, and Robyn feared she was going to be sick. It had been eight years since her ex had abandoned her, but his betrayal still stung. “Gary was a no-show at my doctor’s appointment the next day, and he literally fell of the face of the earth. A month later, I found out through his roommates that he’d transferred to another school.”
“He got cold feet.”
“So? I was scared, too,” she argued. “I needed his support, not lies and empty promises.”
“I’m not making excuses for him, Robyn. I’m just giving you a male perspective. I used to be a young, dumb, twenty-year-old, so I can sympathize with your ex-boyfriend.”
Scared she’d burst into tears, she looked away. Touching her throat, she fiddled with the pendant hanging on her diamond chain. Her pregnancy had changed her and her views about the opposite sex, made her believe men couldn’t be trusted. She’d hardened her heart and refused to let anyone get close to her, though many had tried. And to this day, Robyn couldn’t look at her dad without feeling resentful. He’d abandoned her when she needed him most, and after all these years her heart still ached. Her mother implored her to forgive, so did Kim and Gabby, but her pain was deep, and for once, Robyn wanted her dad to reach out to her.
“Did you give the baby up for adoption?”
Robyn knew the question was coming, had been dreading it and now struggled with her words. “There is no baby,” she said, feeling a lump form in her throat. She took a moment to gather herself and pushed the truth out of her mouth. “I had a miscarriage at thirteen weeks.”
Sean stared deep into her eyes. “I wish I had known. I would have done something to help.”
“I survived. I had my studies, my internship at Elite Catering to keep me busy, and Kim and Gabby, of course. They were there for me during my darkest times, when I felt lost and alone, and I’ll always love them for being true friends.”
“I’m glad they were there for you. That makes me happy.”
“Your sister’s an amazing person, and I’ll always be in her debt.”
“Thank you for telling me about your past. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to open up like that.” His eyes were sad, but he spoke in a soft, soothing voice, one that calmed her nerves. “I feel like I know you better now, and that’s a very good thing.”
“Really? You think so?”
“Absolutely. Now I know why you won’t fully commit to me and why you’re keeping me at arm’s length.” Sean cupped her chin in his hand and forced her to meet his gaze. “You’re scared of history repeating itself. But you have nothing to worry about. I’ll never do anything to hurt you or betray your trust.”
His words hit home, made her reflect on her past heartbreak. Robyn realized everything Sean had said was true. She was scared of being hurt and worried one day he’d get bored with her and move on to the next girl. He’d broken hearts before, and she feared it was just a matter of time before he dropped her for someone else. To quiet her doubts, she asked the question that had been plaguing her thoughts for weeks. “Is there a chance you and Trina will get back together?”
“Not a chance in hell.”
Robyn sighed in relief and smiled when he playfully nuzzled his nose against hers.
“Baby, you’re my heart, and I’ll cherish you forever.”
Robyn exhaled, told herself not to get caught up in the moment. She was careful with her words, tried to be considerate of his feelings. “We haven’t been dating long, and I think it’s important we take our time, because the last thing I want to do is ruin our friendship—”
Hearing her cell phone ring, Robyn stopped speaking. She picked it up and read the number on the screen. It was Kim, but before she could answer, Sean plucked it out of her hand and held it high in the air.
“Sean, give me back my phone. It’s Kim, and she’ll worry if I don’t answer.”
“You’re officially off the clock, so quit thinking about the resort.”
As usual, Sean was right. She should be relaxing, not fretting about work, but when her cell stopped ringing and started up again seconds later Robyn demanded her phone back. She hadn’t spoken to Kim in hours, and she felt guilty for not responding to her numerous text messages. “I’ll make it quick. I promise.”
Sean looked annoyed, as if he wanted to argue, but he reluctantly handed over her cell phone. “I’m going to grab dessert, but you’d better be off the phone when I get back, or else.”
“Baby, don’t worry, I will,” she said, winking at him. “Nothing is more important to me than spending time with you, and when you get back, it’s on!”
His eyes brightened, and a grin claimed his lips. “Good answer,” he whispered, his voice a husky growl. “I was hoping you’d say that.” Sean leaned in and smothered her mouth with his own. The kiss aroused her body, made Robyn feel euphoric, as if she was walking on air. Her mind went blank. She forgot all about Kim and focused her attention on pleasing her man.
Time passed with no end in sight to the kiss. They talked dirty, pawed at each other’s clothes, laughed and played. Robyn loved what he was doing with his tongue, wished it was buried deep between her legs. His lips were an aphrodisiac, his hands were instruments of pleasure, and his voice was a turn-on.
Robyn heard her cell phone ringing, knew it was Kim calling back and reluctantly ended the kiss. It had better be important or Robyn was going to give her an earful.
“You have five minutes and not a second more.”
Sean strode into the house, leaving Robyn on the settee. Fanning her face, she blew out a deep breath and put her cell to her ear. “Hey, girl, what’s up?”
“I’ve been calling you for the last ten minutes. Why didn’t you answer?”
Robyn frowned, wondered what was wrong with Kim. She sounded upset, as if she was crying. “Sorry about that. I was in the middle of something. Is everything okay?”
“There’s been...an accident.” Her voice quivered, cracked with emotion, and a bitter sob escaped her throat. “Jonah got hurt.”
“What do you mean, there’s been an accident? What happened? Where’s Jonah now? Can I talk to him?” Robyn knew she was rambling, speaking faster than an auctioneer, but Jonah was important to her, and she had to get to the bottom of things. The elderly bartender cared about her—and the rest of the Belleza staff—and
Robyn loved him like a father.
“Jonah was struck by some lighting set up for the Rabinowitz party,” Kim said.
Robyn sat up straight, pressed the phone closer to her ear. “Where is he now?”
Silence filled the line, lasted so long Robyn repeated the question.
“He’s in critical condition at the Belleza Medical Center.” Kim sniffed. “And the doctors don’t think he’s going to make it.”
* * *
Sean opened the walk-in pantry, flipped on the lights and searched the wine rack for a bottle of 1989 zinfandel. It was Robyn’s favorite wine, and he’d bought it specifically for her. He heard the patio doors slide open and knew why his lady love was hot on his heels. “Don’t worry. I didn’t forget the brownies,” he joked with a laugh. “The container’s on the counter. Go ahead and help yourself, but save some for me.”
“I have to leave.”
Sean abandoned his search and exited the pantry. He took one look at Robyn and knew she’d been crying. Her bottom lip was trembling, mascara stained her cheeks, and her shoulders were hunched in despair. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“There was an accident at the resort.”
Sean crossed the room and gathered her in his arms. As she recounted her conversation with Kim, her voice faltered and she burst into tears. He held her close to his chest, assured her everything was going to be all right, tenderly stroked her hair and neck.
“Jonah’s a fighter,” he said, refusing to believe his favorite bartender had been gravely injured that afternoon. “He’ll pull through this. I know it. We have to have faith.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
“Don’t think like that. Jonah’s one of the strongest people I know.”
Robyn slowly nodded her head, seemed to draw strength from his words, and wiped her eyes with her fingertips. “Thanks for the pep talk. I needed that.”
“I’ll grab my cell from the bedroom, then we’ll head to the hospital.”
“I didn’t want to inconvenience you, so I called a cab. It’ll be here soon.”
“No worries. Just cancel it from my car.” Sean glanced at his Rolex watch. “Visiting hours probably ended at eight, but I’d still like to look in on Jonah, even if it’s just for a few minutes.”
“We can’t go to the hospital together. Your parents are there, and so are Kim, Gabby, their fiancés and a half-dozen resort employees.”
“I don’t give a damn who’s there,” he said, dropping his arms from around her waist. “I consider Jonah family, and I deserve to be at the hospital just as much as anyone else.”
“I never said you shouldn’t go. I said I couldn’t go with you.”
Sean saw the stress lines on Robyn’s face, heard the anger in her voice and struggled to keep his temper in check. If anyone should be mad, it should be him, not her. Her refusal to publicly acknowledge their relationship was evidence that she was ashamed of it, ashamed of him. In her eyes, he wasn’t good enough, and Sean feared that would never change. Will Kim and the resort always come first? Will I ever be a priority, or will I always be an afterthought?
Robyn held firm. “This isn’t the right time to go public with our relationship.”
“You’ve been saying that for weeks,” he argued, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. Sean needed to know where he stood with Robyn, and he asked her point-blank. “Either you want to be with me or you don’t. Which one is it?”
“Sean, I care about you, and I want us to be together—”
“Then prove it. Come with me to the hospital.”
A fleeting look of remorse flickered across her face. “You know why I can’t.”
“Because you’re ashamed of me, right?”
“No, of course not, but I need to be there for Kim.”
“Did you ever stop to think about how I feel?” he asked, jabbing a finger at his chest. “I love Jonah, too, and I could use your support right now, but I guess that’s too much to ask. Kim and the Belleza are obviously all you care about, and that will never change.”
Robyn started to speak, to argue that he was wrong, but he cut her off at her first word.
“Damn, I feel like such a fool. From day one, you made it clear you’d never commit to me, but I didn’t believe you. I figured I could change your mind.” Sean hung his head, raked a hand through his hair and along the back of his neck. “I thought you’d fall for me, and we’d live happily ever after. Stupid, huh?”
“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy in this.”
“I never said you were.”
“For fourteen years you never gave me a second glance, and now all of a sudden, you want to be my man?” Her tone was rife with accusation and suspicion, sharper than the tip of a sword. “If I wasn’t Kim’s best friend, you wouldn’t be pursuing me so hard.”
“What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense.”
“I’m not stupid, Sean. I know what you’re doing, so don’t pretend to be the victim.”
Four-letter words exploded out of his mouth, ricocheted around the room like bullets. Her accusations cut him to the quick, but Sean told himself Robyn didn’t mean it, couldn’t mean it. Not after everything they’d been through.
“Hooking up with me is the perfect way to hurt Kim, isn’t it?”
“Is that what you think? That I’m using you to get back at my sister?” Sean scoffed, shook his head in disbelief. What a sick twist of fate. He’d finally found the woman of his dreams, the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but she didn’t trust him. How screwed up was that? He’d been straight-up with Robyn from the beginning, but it wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough.
“I’ve said this before, but it obviously bears repeating. My feelings for you have nothing to do with Kim and everything to do with the captivating, vivacious woman you are.”
Robyn cast her eyes away, chose to look at the floor instead of at him, and his heart deflated like a popped balloon. The longer the silence lasted, the more hopeless he felt, but he had to speak his mind. “Robyn, I love spending time with you, but I’m through sneaking around. It’s juvenile and silly and we’re better than that.”
“We wouldn’t have to sneak around if you’d made amends with your family like I asked you to.” Her face softened, and she offered her cell phone, touched his forearm with it. “Sean, it isn’t too late. You can do it now. Call Kim and make things right.”
Sean took a deep breath, but it didn’t calm his nerves. He was done. Finished. Sick and tired of having the same argument over and over again. He’d had enough of people telling him what to do—Trina demanding he propose, his mother begging him to make peace with his dad, Robyn imploring him to reach out to Kim. It was all too much, more than any man could take. “I’ll make amends with my family as soon as you make amends with yours.”
Her nose twitched, and her bottom lip trembled. “It’s not the same thing.”
“Yes, it is,” he argued. “How can you nag me about making amends with my family when you haven’t spoken to your dad in years?”
“I’ve tried, but he won’t talk to me,” she shouted, her voice quivering uncontrollably. Tears spilled down her cheeks, splashed onto her sundress like raindrops. “I called him on Father’s Day, and he hung up the phone on me...his only daughter...”
Guilt stabbed his heart, troubled his conscience. He’d gone too far, said too much. Her pain was evident, written all over her face, and Sean felt like an ass for hurting her feelings. Filled with remorse, he touched a hand to her waist.
She recoiled in disgust, as if his hand was dirty, and wiped the tears coursing furiously down her cheeks. “Don’t even think of touching me.”
“Robyn, I’m sorry,” he said, meaning it from the bottom of his heart. “I shouldn’t have said that. You
r relationship with your father is none of my business.”
A light shone in the window, and a car horn blared, drawing his attention to the foyer.
“You know what, Sean? Sometimes you can be a real jerk, and now I see why you’re estranged from your family.” Robyn snatched her purse off the counter and slung it over her shoulder. Fire blazed in her eyes as she gave voice to her anger. “Kim was right. You’re selfish and petty, and you don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
The verbal blow knocked the wind out of him, made him feel lower than a snake. And the look on her face said it all. They were through, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
Robyn was his world, the only thing that mattered, and Sean didn’t know how he was going to live without her. How had they got there? How had things turned so bad so quickly? One minute they were outside on the patio having a heart-to-heart talk about her past, and the next, they were arguing about their relationship, fighting like cats and dogs.
“I don’t have time for this,” Robyn said with a glance out the window. “I’m out of here.”
Sean opened his mouth but couldn’t think of anything to say. It wasn’t in his character to beg, and although he was dying inside, he couldn’t bring himself to chase after her. At a loss for words, he stood there, wishing he could take back the things he’d said. He’d never quit at anything, but he had no fight left in him, and he knew letting her go was the right thing to do.
Sadness welled up inside his chest as he watched Robyn walk out of his house and out of his life forever. He felt an acute sense of loss, like a widower standing beside a casket, and struggled to control his emotions. Robyn slammed the front door so hard his ears throbbed, and when Sean glanced out the window at the departing taxi, he realized today—not the day he’d quit the resort—was the worst day of his life.
Chapter 14
Robyn’s day was off to a horrible start. She’d overslept, which resulted in her being late for a meeting with a potential client, then had a heated conversation with Mr. Rabinowitz about his anniversary party on Saturday, and if that wasn’t bad enough, she’d gotten a flat tire driving to the Belleza Medical Center that afternoon, and had no choice but to pull over and change it herself.