Catherine laughed softly and felt her own tension ease a little. ‘I’ve no idea. Most women want a knight in shining armour who’ll come charging along to rescue them from the dragon, but it doesn’t sound as though you’re up for that.’
‘No way! I couldn’t even get on the wretched horse with my knees knocking like this, let alone stay on it long enough to slay any dragons.’ He kissed her softly. ‘Want me to leave now so you can phone for a real hero to come and do his stuff?’
‘Hmm, I’m not sure it’s worth it at this time of the night.’ She pursed her lips, loving the small groan he gave as his eyes homed in on her mouth. ‘Most heroes are probably busy doing what heroes have to do by now so I may as well stick with you. Anyway, you’ll have to stay because I’ve made supper now and it would be a shame to waste it.’
‘You are too kind to a humble knight, my lady.’ He swept her a mocking bow then straightened and shrugged off his coat. He dropped it over the hall chair then looked at her. ‘Right, I’m all ready for action so what can I do to help? Margaret has very kindly offered to sit with the children so I don’t have to worry about rushing back home.’
‘In that case, you can open the wine,’ she told him, leading the way to the dining room. She’d laid the pale beech table with glasses and silverware, and had even folded the napkins into a complicated pleat. She saw him pause in the doorway.
‘This is nice,’ he exclaimed appreciatively, taking stock of the room. ‘I love the way you’ve kept everything so free from clutter.’
‘Do you really like it?’ she asked in surprise, glancing round at the sleek, modern fitments and ivory-white walls. ‘It’s very different to your house.’
‘Which is why I like it so much.’ He took the bottle of wine from her and set to work with the corkscrew. ‘Some days I get the urge to throw out all the clutter and start again. The trouble is that then I think about how much time and effort it’s going to take to redecorate the place and go positively weak at the thought.’
Matt grimaced as he removed the cork from the bottle. ‘Not much of a catch, am I? I can’t slay dragons and I get cold feet when I think about decorating. I may as well throw in the towel now.’
‘Rubbish! Don’t you dare put yourself down. You are a superb doctor, a wonderful father and your house is exactly what a family home should be. It’s warm and cosy and safe. No child could ask for a better place to live.’
‘Maybe not, but how about you, Catherine? How would you feel about living there?’ He unwound the cork from the corkscrew and placed it carefully on the table. ‘Would it drive you mad to have to live with all that clutter when you’re used to surroundings like these?’
Catherine bit her lip because she knew Matt’s decor wasn’t the real issue. What he was really asking her was could she imagine being a part of his life with all that it entailed? Matt came as part of a package and it would be a massive step to swop her single lifestyle for his.
‘Let’s leave the difficult questions until later, shall we?’ he suggested, smoothly changing the subject. He poured wine into the glasses and smiled at her. ‘I don’t know about you but I always function better on a full stomach.’
‘I’ll serve supper, then,’ she said, relieved to be let off the hook. She went into the kitchen and fetched the plates and the salad. She’d put the bread in the oven to warm so she went back for that then sat down.
Matt cut into his chicken with obvious relish. ‘This is good. I hope you didn’t go to a lot of trouble, getting it all ready?’
‘If you call stopping off at the delicatessen to buy everything as going to a lot of trouble then, yes, I did.’ She grinned as she helped herself to salad and passed him the bowl.
He chuckled. ‘I like your style! If Mum wasn’t around to help out, I’d probably end up doing the same thing.’
‘From what I’ve seen, you’re pretty handy in the kitchen,’ she retorted, breaking off a piece of the bread and buttering it. ‘You’re definitely better at using that wretched stove than I am!’
‘Oh, there’s a knack to it. You’ll soon get used to it,’ he replied airily.
Catherine didn’t say anything but her heart was bumping against her ribs because he seemed to have taken it for granted that she would be cooking in his house at some point in the future. Would she? Could she really see herself in his kitchen, making them all a meal?
Her head whirled as she tried to picture it but the image just wouldn’t gel. She popped the bread into her mouth and made herself chew it, wondering if it was an omen. If she couldn’t imagine herself as part of his life then maybe it would never happen, and the thought hurt far more than anything had ever hurt before.
‘Don’t, sweetheart.’
He touched her lightly on the hand and she looked at him with eyes that were shimmering with tears. ‘I just can’t imagine living in your house, Matt. I can’t imagine how it would feel to be part of your life.’
‘That’s because you don’t have anything to base it on.’ He stroked her hand, soothing her. ‘I know very little about your past, Catherine, but I get the impression that you didn’t have a happy home life when you were a child.’
‘I didn’t. My parents were always arguing so I used to keep out of their way as much as I could. Then when they got divorced, my mother was too busy working to spend much time with me.’
‘It must have been very difficult for you. Children are so influenced by what they see when they are growing up.’
She heard the question in his voice and sighed because there was no point pretending. ‘As I was influenced by what I saw. I watched my parents fighting, saw how my mother struggled after they were divorced, listened to her telling me time after time that the biggest mistake she’d made was falling in love. It had a huge effect on me. She used to warn me repeatedly that I must never let myself rely on anyone because then I could never be let down.’
‘Hell!’
His voice grated with pain and she smiled sadly. ‘I know why I’m the way I am, Matt. I make my choices based on my own experiences and that’s why I’m not sure I can ever be the person you want me to be.’
‘That’s crazy! Oh, not that you can’t be who I want you to be but that you should imagine I want you to be anyone except yourself! It’s you I love, Catherine. You, not some other woman who doesn’t have your history. What happened in your past was what made you the person you are today, and I don’t want you to change.’
‘You love me?’ she echoed, her mind and her heart clinging to those words as though they were a lifeline.
‘Yes.’ He stood up then drew her to her feet as well. ‘I love you. I know it’s jumping the gun to tell you that, but I’m not going to lie to you about how I feel. I’m not even going to promise you that I’ll play fair because I won’t.’
He brushed her mouth with a kiss, his lips teasing hers to part then pulling back the moment they did so that she was left feeling hungry and frustrated. His eyes gleamed as he looked at her, filled with warmth and something else, something so new and magical that she recognised it immediately as love.
‘I am going to do everything in my power to convince you that you belong with me and the girls, that we can be happy and fulfilled together. Maybe it’s wrong of me to go about it this way but I’m too desperate to care about the niceties of this situation. I want you, Catherine. I need you. I love you.’
‘Matt, I…’ She stopped and swallowed because there weren’t enough words in the whole English language to describe how she felt at that moment. She was both elated and terrified, filled with joy and awash with fear. Matt was offering her so much but she would have to give up such a lot in exchange and she wasn’t sure she could do it.
‘I think it’s time for the real hard sell,’ he murmured.
‘Hard sell?’
‘Mmm.’ He pulled her to him and held her so that she could feel his body throbbing with need. Catherine shivered when she felt an answering pulsing start low in the pit of her stomac
h then slowly start to spiral up through her whole body. When Matt bent to kiss her she met him halfway, going on tiptoe so that their mouths met with a jolt that sent awareness racing through her like lightning.
Catherine groaned as her mouth clung to his. She could taste the wine on his lips and it just seemed to make the kiss all the more potent. She was trembling when he raised his head, her knees so weak that she would have fallen over if Matt hadn’t kept tight hold of her.
‘I want to make love to you, Catherine. I want to hold you in my arms and watch your face fill with passion as we love one another, but if it isn’t what you want then tell me so.’ He kissed her again, his body pulsing against hers, his heart racing almost out of control.
‘I…want it, too,’ she admitted in a rush. Stepping back, she held out her hand, feeling herself trembling when he took it. He raised it to his lips and kissed each of her fingers in turn then pressed a meltingly tender kiss to her palm.
‘It will be all right, my love. You’ll see.’
She wished she had his confidence but now wasn’t the time to worry about it when her body was clamouring about its needs. She led him to her bedroom, pausing only long enough to turn on the bedside lamp before stepping back into his arms with an eagerness she didn’t attempt to disguise.
This time their kiss was so raw and sensual that she cried out and heard Matt mutter something as he quickly began to strip off her clothes. Her skirt landed on the floor and she stepped out of it and kicked it aside then shrugged off her blouse. All she had on now were a lacy bra with matching panties and tights and she saw Matt’s jaw clench as he looked at her standing there in the lamplight.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he gritted out. ‘So beautiful that I’m almost scared to touch you.’
‘Don’t be.’ She took his hand and placed it over her racing heart so that he could feel the heavy thunder beating beneath his palm. ‘I need you to touch me, Matt.’
A spasm of raw desire crossed his face as he bent and swept her into his arms. He laid her on the bed and she shivered when she felt the chill of the cool cotton sheets against her heated flesh. He quickly undressed then knelt beside her, his eyes holding hers fast as he stroked her skin, starting at her jaw and working his way down until she was twisting and turning in mindless agony at having him tease her that way.
‘Please,’ she murmured, her eyes half-closed as she felt his fingers sliding under the strap of her bra and start to peel it down her arm. Tension gripped her when she felt the whisper of his breath warm against her naked breast and she stiffened, then cried out when his tongue began to caress her nipple.
‘Is this what you want, my love?’ he asked, the words tingling against her sensitive flesh.
‘Yes!’ She took his head between her hands and pulled him down to her again, her whole body jerking when she felt his mouth cover her nipple again and gently suckle it.
He turned his attention to her other breast, lavishing it with just as much attention until it felt as though she was going to explode if she didn’t find a release soon. When he stripped off her tights and pants, Catherine helped him, her hands clumsy and urgent as she rid herself of the garments which were preventing her from finding the relief she craved.
Matt moved over her, taking his weight on his elbows as he stared into her face. ‘I love you, Catherine. Remember that.’
They were the last words she heard before their bodies joined together. Catherine tensed when she felt a tearing pain rip through her but it lasted only for a second and was instantly forgotten when she felt him thrust inside her. She heard Matt’s gasp of shock as he must have realised that she hadn’t had sex with anyone before, but she wanted him too much to let him stop.
Her hands gripped his buttocks, urging him on, wanting him to give them both the completion they needed. And he did. As the world erupted into a shower of stars and light she knew that nothing she achieved could be better than this joy she’d found in Matt’s arms tonight.
It was almost midnight when Catherine awoke. Matt had made love to her again after that first time—slowly and with great tenderness—and she’d been so worn out and sated by the experience that she’d fallen instantly asleep. Now she sat up and looked at him in dismay.
‘I had no idea it was so late! Why didn’t you wake me? You need to get home for the children.’
‘Don’t worry. I phoned Margaret while you were asleep and explained that I’d been held up.’ He drew her into his arms and kissed her. ‘She told me not to worry what time I got back. I got the feeling that she’d put two and two together and knew where I was.’
Catherine grimaced. ‘It won’t cause problems, will it?’
‘Why should it? We’re both adults, Catherine, and it’s up to us what we do.’
‘But if it got back to the children…’
‘It won’t. They won’t find out unless we want them to.’
She heard the question in his voice and sighed. ‘I don’t know what to say, Matt.’
‘I know, and I understand. This has all happened so fast that it’s little wonder you find it difficult to think straight.’ He looked at her and his gaze was searching all of a sudden. ‘I’m finding it very difficult to believe that you hadn’t slept with anyone before, Catherine. It can’t have been because of a lack of offers.’
‘It just didn’t happen,’ she admitted, her face heating because she knew how strange it must seem to him. How many women of her age were still virgins in this day and age? Not that she was a virgin any longer, she amended, and blushed even more.
‘Because you hadn’t met the right person?’
She was overcome by tenderness when she realised that he needed reassuring now. ‘No. I never met anyone I wanted to sleep with until I met you, Matt. I always ruled out that it would happen because it seemed…well, safer to steer clear of that kind of involvement.’
‘I’m glad. It means that you believe I’m special and that’s something to hold onto.’ He smiled at her. ‘I’m not foolish enough to imagine that everything is all sorted out. You need time to get used to the idea of loving someone, don’t you, Catherine?’
‘Yes.’
Her heart spasmed with sudden fear because she couldn’t help worrying if that was all it entailed. Would her doubts disappear once she got used to the idea of being part of a couple—no, part of a family?
She wanted to squash such thoughts out of existence but she couldn’t rid herself of them even now. They were too deeply ingrained to be put aside even after what had happened. Maybe Matt sensed her dilemma because he gave her a hug then tossed back the quilt.
‘Is it OK if I have a shower? I don’t want to take advantage of Margaret’s kindness so I’d better get myself home.’
‘Of course. There’s fresh towels in the basket so help yourself.’
Catherine waited until he’d gone into the bathroom before she got up. She slid her arms into her towelling robe and fastened the belt around her waist. She would have a shower after Matt had left but her hair needed combing if nothing else. It was a mess, half of it hanging down and the rest still pinned into its customary knot.
She sat down at the dressing-table and quickly pulled out the rest of the pins then brushed it smooth. She heard the shower stop and a second later Matt appeared with one of her bath towels wrapped around his waist. His body was hard and lean and she felt her senses stir all over again as she watched him through the mirror. Maybe this had been her first taste of passion but already she was addicted and wanted more.
‘If you look at me like that then I’ll never get home this side of New Year,’ he growled, meeting her eyes in the mirror.
‘Sorry.’ She looked away, picking up the brush to run it through the long, nut-brown strands of her hair again while passion pulsed and throbbed inside her.
‘Don’t be sorry. I’d hate it if you didn’t feel anything, Catherine.’
He was suddenly standing right behind her so she could feel the steamy heat of his body a
ll down her spine. Catherine bit her lip as she looked up in time to see him bend towards her. The hunger on his face made a mockery of what had happened earlier, as though their love-making had simply whetted his appetite rather than satisfied it.
She closed her eyes when she felt his hands slide inside the collar of her robe, her breath coming in tiny spurts when she felt his fingers caressing her nipples. Tipping back her head, she let it rest against him, almost mindless with pleasure as he caressed her breasts then let his fingers glide down her body to the nest of dark curls between her thighs.
When he pulled her up off the stool and turned her into his arms, she didn’t protest because it was what she wanted, too. They made love right there, her buttocks pressed against the hard wood of the dressing-table, her hands gripping his shoulders to stop herself falling over. There was something raw and elemental about their love-making this time, but it was still so wonderfully tender that there were tears in her eyes when it was over. No matter how great his passion, how demanding his hunger, Matt never lost sight of her as a person and it touched her deeply to know how much he cared for her.
‘I’ll have to go.’ He kissed her softly on the mouth then moved away to pick up his clothes. It took only a few minutes for him to get dressed and by that time Catherine had belted her robe and once again smoothed her hair. He took hold of her hand and led her along the hall, stopping by the front door.
‘This has been the most wonderful night of my life but I know it hasn’t solved all your problems, Catherine. You still have doubts, don’t you?’
‘Yes. I’m sorry…’
‘Don’t be sorry. It isn’t your fault.’ He kissed her again. ‘You need more time to put everything into perspective before you decide what you want to do. That’s why I want you to spend Christmas with me and the girls. It will give you an idea what you could be letting yourself in for if you do decide that we have a future together.’
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