Always Been You

by Tracy Luu

  “Hey, what’s going on?” I asked Jacob.

  “I’m not sure,” he replied. “I can’t really see with everyone’s heads in the way.”

  “Why don’t you just stand on the couch?”

  “Gee, I never thought about that,” he mumbled.

  Quickly supporting each other as we climbed onto the couch, we then craned our necks in the direction of the hallway, and a second later, broke out in laughter, wiping the tears from our eyes.

  “Way to go, Dev!” yelled Jacob.

  Nikki and Devon quickly sprang apart from their kiss once they heard Jacob’s bellow and looked astonished to find themselves at the centre of attention. Blushing to the roots of their hair as raucous cheering and yelling reverberated around the room, they then quickly left the hall and wordlessly joined me and Jacob on the couch.

  “I take it you’re happy at the outcome with Devon Johnson then?” I said to Nikki.

  “What do you think?” she said sarcastically.

  “I thought maybe you were trying to teach him CPR,” I grinned.

  “You’re a real laugh riot today, Jenna,” she muttered.

  I let out a loose laugh, but then quickly clamped my mouth shut. Daniel was coming down the stairs with a huge smile on his face.

  “Hide me,” I hissed, grabbing onto Jacob’s arm.

  “Why?” he asked, watching me cowering lower behind him.

  “Because Daniel’s driving me nuts,” I said. “I think he’s infatuated with me since he just asked me a moment ago if I got hurt falling from heaven.”

  “So you ended up attracting another cheesy guy, huh?”

  “Shut it, Bennett! Oh, crap, I think he saw me.”

  “Of course he saw you. It’s not hard to miss you when you’re acting weird.”

  “Not funny.”

  “So what does a guy like me have to do to get to the front of the queue?” he laughed.

  “Stall him so I can get away,” I pleaded.

  “Don’t you want to find out what other lame lines he has for you?”

  “You do that and I’m never helping you out if girls feel like hounding you again.”

  “Blackmailer,” he glowered. “Fine, I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thanks.”

  While Jacob distracted Daniel by standing in his path, I quickly cut through the kitchen, intending to head upstairs, and ended up running into Katie in the hall.

  “Where are you going?” she asked me.

  “I’m trying to seek refuge from a pigheaded ass named Daniel Summer,” I said.

  “Oh, no, you don’t,” she said, grabbing onto my arm. “It’s one minute to midnight and you’re not going to miss it!”

  “You just want to see if Jacob kisses me.”

  “Yes, I do. Now let’s go.”

  “Will you sto—oh, alright then. But you better make sure Daniel doesn’t see me.”

  Pandemonium was the only word to describe what we had walked into. Horns were blowing, people were yelling, and tassels and streamers were being tossed in the air. I was happy to be amidst the hugs and cheers from friends coming up to greet us, but then became dismayed to see Daniel still craning his neck around in search for me. Since I didn’t want to be seen, I gave Matt a quick hug as he kissed me on the cheek, twisted underneath his arm, and dashed towards the door. I only took one step when I was intercepted by another set of arms.

  Inwardly, I cringed at the thought that Daniel had finally gotten to me. But when I spun around to tell him off, a pair of lips engulfed my mouth. I was so shocked at who was kissing me, I literally forgot to breathe.

  “Happy New Year, Jenna,” whispered Jacob.

  Before I could even blink, Jacob then gave me an impish grin, suddenly stepped back, and left me with my mouth gaping open.

  To say I was stunned was an understatement as I watched him disappear into the crowd and collapsed against the wall. When it hit me a second later that there was also a deathly silence accompanying me throughout the room, I then roamed my eyes and wasn’t sure if Jacob kissing me was a good thing or not. At least it did stop Daniel. He was looking at me like his heart had shattered into a million pieces. But when I glanced around to everyone else, I began to feel nervous under their multitude of expressions etched onto their faces.

  Whereas most people looked stunned and surprised, Amy, Matt, Nikki, Devon, and Alex looked extremely happy, Katie had a tiny smile on her face as if saying “Ha! I told you so!”, and Jacob? I was too scared to look in his direction. So rather than staying in a room that made me feel uncomfortable, I decided to get some air.

  When I started up the stairs, I was then faced with my mom, who had also witnessed Jacob giving me a kiss. Her eyes were so wide, and she was standing so still, she looked like she was mixed up at being shocked and wanting to burst into tears. But before she could get a chance to question me, I brushed passed her, continued up the stairs, and headed out the front door.

  It was freezing outside and I was shivering, but I wasn’t ready to go back in and face everyone. I was just too confused. Since I wasn’t sure which way I should go as I looked up and down the block, I then sank down to the cold steps and let the coldness of the snowflakes sparkling against the moonlight fall softly onto my face. However, just as my eyes set upon the silhouette of my neighbour’s house across the street, a moment later the door opened behind me, and without moving my head, I already knew who it was.

  “I figured you probably needed your jacket,” said Jacob, taking a seat next to me.

  I turned my head to face him, smiled gratefully, and took my coat from his hands.

  “I guess I should apologise for what I did,” he muttered, as I slipped it on. “I wasn’t trying to cause any trouble for you. I just didn’t expect to have that sort of reaction from everyone just because I chose to give a friend a kiss.”

  “People just have a funny way of dealing with things,” I sighed.

  “Will you be okay?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

  “I’ll be fine,” I said. “By the way, the sweater I got you looks good on you.”

  “Ashley thought so too,” he grinned. “But with all the things going on during the last few weeks, I never got the chance to give you your gift.”

  “You didn’t really have to get me anything,” I said.

  “I know, but I want to. I have it with me if you want to see it.”

  ”Um…sure.”

  He hesitantly reached into his pocket and pulled out a slender velvet box. I couldn’t stop the gasp that left my mouth as I opened up the gift. A silver dragonfly pendant was staring back at me, hanging on a delicate, silver chain.

  “D…do you like it?” he asked apprehensively.

  “Do I like it?” I breathed. “It’s beautiful, Jacob, but I don’t know if I can accept it.”

  “I want you to have it,” he said, pushing the gift back into my hands. “Jenna, I got this for you since it’s my way of saying thanks for helping me all these years. Please take it. It’s just a gift from one friend to another.”

  “Then thank you for the gift,” I said.

  “There is one thing though,” he grinned, as he took the necklace from my hands and placed it around my neck.

  “Anything.”

  He raised a suggestive eyebrow at me. “Anything?”

  “Within reason of course,” I sighed.

  “I don’t mind if you wear it, but is it okay if you keep who you got the necklace from a secret?” he laughed. “I don’t want anyone to know I gave this to you in case they start bugging the both of us about it.”

  “Of course.”

  “Now let’s head back in and join your party before we freeze to death.”

  Chapter 8

  Valentine’s!

  Lately, my mom has been acting a bit odder than normal. Ever since New Year’s, she’s been beside herself with joy. Whenever I saw her, she always had a constant spring to her step and would either be humming happily, or smiling to h
erself as she pinched my cheek. She was so ecstatic about the kiss, I was even positively sure she was already planning my wedding to Jacob. It also didn’t help that whenever the girls came over, they always kept agreeing with everything she said. They even gave her ideas, like bringing over wedding magazines so they could decide on what kind of dress I should get. The guys were just as excited about what had happened. The only ones who weren’t were Jacob and me.

  Something definitely has changed between us. I could feel it when we’re together, and sometimes I even caught him staring at me a few times when he thinks I’m not looking. He always has this peculiar dazed expression on his face. But instead of looking happy, he actually looked like he was battling with his thoughts.

  Half the time he didn’t know what to say to me while the other half was spent talking about mundane things. He would comment about things like the weather, talk about a smudge he found on the school’s walls, or agreeing to whatever anyone was saying. He was acting so quiet and reserved, I began thinking maybe his kiss hadn’t been a friendly gesture after all. Except whenever I tried to ask him about it, someone always interfered.

  Every time his name left my lips, a friend, a teacher, or even his coach, would suddenly appear, wanting to talk to us. It was so irritating with so many interruptions that the only other option I had was to just watch Jacob from afar.

  By the end of the second week, I was fairly certain his kiss meant nothing more. None of his actions had been new. That’s why when Valentine’s rolled around, I figured it would just be like any other normal day. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find a huge bear holding a long white cardboard box at the bottom of my locker.

  With my backpack making an audible thump on the floor and my heart thudding loudly in my chest, I slowly took a seat beside Amy, and with trembling fingers I nervously fumbled with the lid. I barely heard the loud gasp coming from Amy beside me when I got it open. Inside the slender box were a dozen beautiful roses. The delicate petals were a soft cream which darkened to a pink colour at the tips. The stems were free from thorns.

  “Maybe Katie put Aaron’s gift for you in your locker as an apology for not taking you out tonight,” said Amy. “But just to make sure, why don’t we check out the envelope that came with it?”

  Ignoring her grunt of disapproval as I snatched it right from Amy’s hands, I leaned back against the locker next to mine and stared apprehensively at the envelope bearing my name. After tracing my fingers over the letters a few times, I slowly lifted the flap, thinking I was going to pull out a card, and was surprised to pull out a letter written in an elegant script.

  Jenna,

  I wanted to get you something more special, but I wasn’t quite sure if it would be appropriate right now and found these roses instead. Trust me when I tell you I had searched around forever, looking for the perfect flower. I almost gave up hope until I wandered into this one particular store I’ve never seen before. As you may have noticed, while the color of this rose is really unique and very rare, it was fate I accidentally stumbled upon them.

  I think I must’ve stood there admiring them for hours, wondering if they were the right choice. Once the lady at the flower shop explained exactly what the rose symbolised, I became so excited I couldn’t believe my luck. Right then I knew this is how I truly felt and that they belonged to you. When the time is right, I’d like to tell you one day what she told me. But for now, you deserve them just for being you.

  Having the privilege and the honour on knowing the person you truly are, I know you’re smiling right now as you read this letter, and I hope I have made your day.

  A friend

  I had to inhale deeply to calm my nerves. It was hard for me to believe someone had gone through the trouble, just to give me the most gorgeous roses I have ever seen.

  “What’s up?” asked Matt.

  “Jen got a gift from Jacob,” Amy pronounced over my shoulder, prying the letter from my hands.

  “You said it yourself that it might be from Aaron,” I interrupted loudly, snatching it back only for Matt to steal it from me instead.

  “What’s this about Aaron?” asked Katie, appearing behind me.

  “Did you put any roses from him in Jen’s locker?” Amy asked her.

  “Not if he told me that he was waiting until this Saturday,” said Katie. “Why?”

  “What’s Aaron planning for Saturday?” I asked her.

  “I wish I could tell you, but he only just said that he’s planning something special for you,” she sighed at me.

  “Maybe Aaron’s setting up a romantic dinner, so he could talk to Jen about taking their relationship further than just friendship,” grinned Amy.

  “That’s probably it, but I still think Jacob’s better for Jenna,” said Katie. “Why are you asking if I put some roses in Jenna’s locker for him anyway?”

  “I’m still here,” I grumbled, my cheeks feeling warm.

  “We know, but we’re talking about you, not to you,” said Amy. “As I was saying—quit rolling your eyes at me, Jen—and to answer your question, Katie, we’re only asking because Jen got a gift from a friend.”

  “Jacob’s a friend, isn’t he?” grinned Katie.

  Somehow as if she had summoned him, Jacob suddenly appeared and was heading toward us with one eyebrow raised. Luckily for me, he never got to ask why Katie was elbowing me in the ribs. The bell rang, signalling for the first class of the day to begin.

  A few hours later, I had just left my last class, thinking about who had gotten me the wonderful gift, and was weaving my way through students anxious to get home when I was stopped by a cool voice behind me. I turned and couldn’t believe I was staring into the eyes of the absolute last person I expected to see.

  “What are you doing here, Ethan?” I demanded.

  “Jenna, I want to talk to you,” he said.

  “I don’t know why you’d even bother trying to speak to me,” I said. “You know I’m just going to tell you to go to hell since you know I have nothing to say to you.”

  Ethan tried to close his hand around my wrist, but I quickly yanked my hand out of his grasp. Ignoring the curious glances aimed our way, I then headed in the opposite direction down the hall, and before I knew what was happening, I ran into someone coming up the steps.

  “Whoops, watch it, Jenna,” said Jacob, carefully reaching out to steady me when he noticed the scowl on my face. “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s—”

  “Jenna! Please let me—oh, it’s you,” growled Ethan.

  “What are you doing here, Su?” Jacob asked shortly.

  “This has nothing to do with you, Bennett,” he sneered. “Jenna, please let me talk to you.”

  “Why should I?” I said whipping around to face him.

  “Because you left before I could even explain,” said Ethan.

  “What’s to explain? Just because I didn’t want to sleep with you doesn’t give you the right to go and sleep with someone else!” I yelled.

  I heard a loud gasp and swivelled my head. Amy was among the huge crowd that was hanging onto every word of our argument. I could’ve sworn her eyebrows had merged with her hairline as her eyes moved between Ethan and me, her expression questioning.

  “I didn’t sleep with Sandra!” said Ethan, gritting his teeth.

  “Then why was she stumbling out of your room when I came over?” I said.

  “We got drunk and passed out, but nothing happened,” he exclaimed.

  “That’s hard to believe.”

  “It’s the truth, alright? She came over because she just broke up with her boyfriend and needed her best friend to keep her company.”

  “Best friend or not, would you have slept with her if you two didn’t pass out?” I demanded. Ethan opened his mouth, only to close it again. “I thought so.”

  “Please, Jenna,” he pleaded.

  “She said she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore, Su,” said Jacob.

  “Is it beca
use you’re dating him?” scoffed Ethan.

  “Even if we are, it’s none of your business,” I said.

  “But I still want you.”

  Before Jacob or I could react, Ethan then yanked me closer and crashed his lips onto mine.

  “I love you, Jenna,” he said, pulling away a moment later.

  “And I’m going to love what I’m about to do to you,” I grinned.

  Releasing a low growl that was born from exhaustion, irritability, and pure hatred from dealing with him and his constant calls, and with a bout of speed that I didn’t know I had in me, I pulled my arm back and launched the hardest punch in my life. Ethan’s face jerked with so much force that when he turned back to look at me, a small trickle of blood was pouring out of the corner of his mouth.

  “Don’t you ever do that again,” I scowled. “And leave me the hell alone!”

  Without giving him a chance to speak, I turned around and walked away.

  I didn’t care about the glares I got from the people beside me as I angrily threw the books into my bag and slammed my locker door shut. I was too busy trying to erase the lingering feeling of Ethan’s lips on mine. However, just as I was about to pick up my things and go home, Jacob appeared and grabbed my backpack and the gift from the floor.

  “Jacob! Where the hell are you going with my stuff?” I yelled, almost stumbling on the steps in my haste to catch up to him as he headed out the door.

  “I figured after punching that stupid ass, you probably need some company while walking it off,” he said, coming to a halt. “I’m not hearing any excuses of you wanting to be alone right now. I know you. And you also know perfectly well I’m not going to budge. So go ahead and let out your frustrations on me. I’m still walking you home.”