Sitting on the plane, he was staring at his tablet and reading through emails. I just sat beside him, resting my head against his shoulder, saying nothing, just wanting to be close to him.
The rest of our trip was far from amazing. After the boys had brawled on the floor, which left Scott with an almost broken nose and two black eyes, we booked tickets to leave the next morning, just the four of us. His mother was less than impressed but being there was only going to cause more havoc they didn’t deserve, not for their wedding anniversary. We would miss their vow renewal, a sure reason to never be asked back for another holiday.
Brody turned off his screen and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Placing a kiss at the top of my forehead, he murmured, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.” It wasn’t his at all.
Shaking his head, he glanced towards our two kids in the seats across from us. “They’re pretty upset that we left.”
“They’ll get over it. We can take a few days at home. Do something fun there,” I suggested. Although it was awful to see their disappointed faces, they were too little to understand the full extent of everything going on around them.
Scott was out of control. Brody let his fury pound into him repeatedly, and when Scott had muttered something underneath his breath as he went to walk away, Brody was back into him worse than ever. He wouldn’t tell me what was said, but I could imagine it wasn’t good.
Sliding my hand over his thigh, I gave it a squeeze. “Can I ask you something?”
“Depends on what it is,” he eyed me with curiosity and then smiled softly. His blue eyes closing and dark lashes fanned the tops of his cheeks. “Ask me.”
“Brody,” I asked quietly. “Before, whenever we made love, you were always so quiet. How come?”
“Wasn’t expecting that.” He didn’t smile, just kept his eyes closed until he let out a long sigh and then opened them. “Because I was trying to focus on lasting longer. We’d rarely have sex, and you always felt so good that I was just ready to come right away. I guess I was shy to be more vocal and let you know how good you felt. So I would hold you tightly and yell in my head about how much I loved you while trying not to come.”
That actually explained a lot. “That’s kind of romantic.”
“I wanted to savour those moments. They were rare, but I never wanted them to end.” Okay, that was very romantic but, at the same time, sad that we rarely made love.
“I love you,” I smiled. I hadn’t brought up the Kate subject again even if I wanted to.
He chuckled quietly, a grin spreading over his soft pink lips. “Also, because I had no idea what I was doing half the time. We’d always gone slowly. I should have asked how you liked it instead of being so selfish. I still have no clue what I’m doing.”
“Me either.”
He smiled, reaching up and caressing my cheek. “If I could go back, I still would never have fucked around with other girls like my mates had done. I’m honestly relieved that we’ve only ever been with each other. It makes it better, we can learn together.”
“We are learning,” I smiled, leaning into his palm and relishing the love I felt from him. “It’s been amazing.”
After arriving home, the kids, Brody and I piled into our bed and put on a movie. Lila was pretending to be the doctor so she would check her daddy’s temperature every so often and then tell him he needed to rest. I’d fallen asleep on and off, and when I woke for the final time, Brody was just lying there staring at the ceiling. The kids between us were fast asleep.
“You okay?” I asked, whispering, so I didn’t wake them.
He kept his eyes to the ceiling but nodded. “Yeah, I’m just worried about Scott. He was really putting it nicely. He has lost his fucking mind.”
“Brody…”
“He told me that he knew you weren’t on your pill, said he was going to fuck you, and asked how I felt about having a new niece or nephew.”
I felt sick instantly. Bile rose in my throat as the thought disgusted me. “You didn’t hit him hard enough.”
Brody scoffed. “I hit him pretty hard. He looks like a panda.”
With a smile, I laughed. “You have no idea how sexy you look when angry and in a fight.”
“Did you think I was sexy when I used to yell at you?” he asked, rolling onto his side and resting his hand over mine that was snuggled around both of the kid’s little bodies.
Just the thought of all our yelling put a damper on things. “I used to cry to sleep every night.”
“I know.” Admitting that shocked me a little. I hadn’t expected him to hear. “I’d stand outside the door and listen to you. It made me feel like such a pathetic bastard. I’ve been a shitty husband and absent father.”
His fingers stroked my skin. I blinked back the tears. “We both were horrible to each other, not just your fault.”
“Do you think he’s mentally unwell?” As angry as he was with Scott, I could see he was more concerned beneath the pissed exterior.
I hadn’t thought much of it. He sure had something, though. “Maybe he’s just angry about him and Rose. That’s possibly why he's this way. Wants to destroy your marriage as well?” Then again, why not go after Jessie and Leon?
His hand tightened around mine with a squeeze. “I don’t want you alone with him… ever.”
“You do know that nothing would ever happen between him and me? I wouldn’t do that to you. Please don’t ever worry about his threats. He’s just throwing a tantrum.”
“This isn’t like him,” he said softly as Noah stirred in his sleep. “Something needs to be done before he harms himself or anyone else.”
He was right. Something needed to be done. “Has Kate called you today?”
It was a change in topic but a fair one. “No. I think you scared her off.”
“Good.” My smile triumphed. “I wish you were cuddling me right now.”
Brody sat up more, leaning over the kids whispered huskily, “I need to be inside you. I want you.”
With a smirk, he was climbing over and laying between my thighs. The kid’s right beside us, sound asleep. My god, this was so not going to be happening. The bulge in his boxers could go away. It wasn’t getting out and getting in anywhere.
Shaking my head as he began kissing down my neck, “No, Definitely not.”
“Bathroom? Please?” he groaned, sucking at my neck as he flexed his hips against me.
Rolling my eyes and slipping my hands down into the band of his boxers, I grabbed his taut ass. “Spare room?”
“Deal.”
It never happened as we soon heard little voices giggling. They awoke again, sitting up to watch more of the movie. “Eww, Gross!”
“Very gross.” I winked and wrapped my arms around my husband as he was still on top of me. He flexed against me, kissed my neck as he slid underneath the covers and cuddled me from behind. “Brody, no.”
“Why not?” he smirked against my skin as he kept placing kisses on my bare shoulder.
I giggled, squirming away as he tickled me. “Because they’re like right beside us.” I couldn’t fool around with them right there.
Pushing my bum against his, I heard his sharp intake of breath. “Send them to bed. You could pull me off.”
“Nope, you’ll have to wait,” I smiled, glancing over my shoulder at him. “I’ll make up for it tomorrow.”
As Lila began to talk about her birthday next week, he gave up on his conquest and just wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my shoulder. My eyes grew heavy until I passed out.
When it came time for Lila’s birthday a week later, she was one hell of a mood. The last thing I felt like was a party. I’d been tired all week from catching up on housework and cooking. Her friends were here for a good part of the morning until they left, and it was just family now. She was angry and agitated. Mostly tired, from being up since 5 AM. The good thing was that she loved her new doll. The bad, she threw it in the pool during a tantrum.<
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Brody came over and shook his head. “You don’t get another one. You can go to your room!”
“No!” she yelled back. “Get me the doll!”
“I beg your pardon?” I asked, shocked as she threw her hand on her hips and frowned.
Noah was too busy stuffing his face with chips and cake to notice her tantrum. Lila began to walk away, but Brody grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her to face him. “Watch your tone. Don’t speak to your mother that way!”
“Let me go!” she yelled. Her face was red with anger.
Letting her go, he pointed towards the back door. “Get to your room. I won’t have you acting like a spoilt brat in my house. Stay up there until you’re in a better mood. Otherwise, put your pyjamas on and get to bed now!” He growled, not loud but loud enough to catch the attention of his parents and my sisters.
They were waiting for him to strike her, which he would never do.
My father walked over with a chuckle and shook his head disappointedly. “I bambini, avete bisogno di un cuore tenero e una mano ferma, Gabriella.”
I raised a brow at my father. “Papa, Brody does have a soft heart and a firm hand, but he would never hit our children.” Of course, I spoke back to him in Italian.
“Perché no?”
“Why not? Giovanni, I won’t ever hit my children,” Brody spoke, coming up behind us. “Lila’s just loaded up on sugar, plus she was up early.”
Too damn excited to sleep and now she was over tired, letting the world take the wrath of her meltdowns as she refused to go to sleep and wanted to show us all that she was another year older and the boss on her day.
My Papa sighed. “It won’t hurt them, Brody. Gabriella, I wish you would raise your children better than this. You don’t see your sister’s Bambini carrying on.”
“Papa,” I warned. “Stop it. Brody and I are doing things our way. Back off a bit.”
“Gabriella, guardare la tua bocca!” my father growled, glaring. I had to laugh as he thought he could tell me to watch my mouth.
Part of me wanted to take the bait and bite back at him. My dear hubby beat me to it. “You moved here, must have liked something about the country otherwise you wouldn’t have left Italy,” Brody smirked, bringing his beer to his lips. “There’s nothing wrong with my parenting skills.”
“Abbastanza!”
Swallowing hard, Brody shook his head and took a step closer to my papa. “Enough? Listen, mate, if you don’t like it then get out of my house.”
“Okay. It’s time for cake!” I blurted out, needing a distraction before the two men went head to head. “I’ll go get Lila.”
Rushing off inside the house, I ran the steps two at a time and went into her room. She was sitting on her bed, wearing her nightie and playing with a Barbie doll. Her eyes were big and watering as she looked up and tossed them aside. Noticing me, she’d flung herself underneath the covers and hid in her bed.
“Lila,” I said with a smile, taking a seat on the edge of her bed where I pulled the covers down and looked at her sad face. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she squeaked. “Daddy scared me.”
I fought the laugh. “Daddy is very upset. You have been really rude to him today, and he’s sad that you don’t like your presents.”
“Mama,” she sat up and then kneeled in front of me. “When you have a baby, I won’t be the littlest anymore, will I?”
Oh, boy, “No, sweetie, but that doesn’t matter. You’re always going to be my little girl.”
“Well, I changed my mind. I don’t want a baby sister anymore.”
“You don’t?” I asked curiously, knowing Brody was entering the room, as I smelt his aftershave.
Shaking her head, “Nope, I decided that I want to be the littlest all the time now. I’m too small, and babies are too loud. I don’t want a baby sister or brother.”
Brody took a spot on the other side of her bed and sat down. He was looking a ton of mixed emotions. “You know, that’s for mama and me to decide, right? Just because you don’t want something doesn’t mean we will listen.”
“If you love me, then you won’t have another baby,” she challenged and growing more upset. “I have Noah, and that’s heaps for me.”
Maybe if we weren’t actively trying for another baby, it could be put off and talked about, not that I was going to let our eight-year-old daughter tell us when we could and couldn’t add to our family, but I had a feeling when the time came. She was going to be one, very unhappy camper.
Brody, shaking his head, let out a loud sigh, stood up and nodded. “Come on, let’s go and blow your candles.”
Jumping off the bed and running off, I leant against his chest and tilted my head back. “She’s being a bitch of a thing today.”
He smirked, skimming his hands down over my ass and pulling me against him with a squeeze. “I can’t wait for her to go to bed and we can, not, make a baby.”
I laughed with a groan. “Oh, I can’t wait.” Then another thought hit me. “You know we still have to get through the teenage years yet.”
With a groan, he said how I felt. “Fuck.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
The next few months began to fly by, and soon, we were heading into October. The weather was getting warmer, and the thrill of Christmas was looming closer. I absolutely loved this time of year when the children were getting ready to go on the end of school holidays and when summer began to come on. This summer, I was not going to hide out in oversized clothing, and I was definitely going to swim in the pool.
There was still the dreaded secret that I had been keeping from Brody, and it was eating my insides. I was afraid to tell him. Once I was done, it would be out there, and Scott would know I said something. I was so humiliated and afraid of it getting out that I had always just assumed keeping it locked away in secret would be the best thing.
Brody was going to be more than hurt, and with things being so good between us, I just kept putting it off.
Scott, however, kept calling my phone. I ignored him each time, as I didn’t have anything to say to him. I’d tell Brody about the calls, but he would dismiss them and said he would handle it. I had no idea if he did handle it, but it was getting to the point of being called all hours of the night. He’d never leave a message. He would just hang up and an hour later, call again.
I was taking action into my own hands.
Of course, Brody and I weren’t perfect, and there were those small fights and sometimes big ones, but we never went to bed angry. We made a promise to talk it out, let the other person speak and listen to what they had to say. It was like our own therapy. Truly, I just didn’t want to ever go back to how things were with us.
We had screwed up with just agreeing to give up before getting to the root of our problems, and that was not talking.
Slicing up the apple, I put the pieces into Lila’s school lunch box and grabbed a handful of grapes for Noah as Brody entered the kitchen. He kissed each of the children’s heads and then made his way over. I smiled up at him.
“Morning.” His deep voice sent a shiver throughout me.
“Morning, are you having coffee here or at work?” with the bitch who he still hasn’t fired yet. I, however, was being calm and not mentioning her name to him even if it really pissed me off and upset me.
“I’ll have one now. You were up early, everything okay?” he asked, grabbing an apple and tossing it in the air.
“Course, why wouldn’t it be?” I asked, glancing up and snatching the apple before he caught it again.
Shrugging, he ran his tongue over his lower lip. “You were up early and were pretty restless all night.”
My heart began to beat faster as I looked away before he could tell that I was lying to his face. “I had a headache and just trying to decide what we’re doing for Christmas. Mama called and wanted us to go there, but then, your parents wanted us to go to theirs. It’s just trying to figure something out without upsetting the oth
er.”
“You’re so considerate, Gabby,” he smiled and checked his Rolex. “Shit, I actually need to head off, got a meeting, but I will see you later, okay?”
“Sure.” I leant in as I stood up on my toes, and I kissed him as he met me halfway. “I love you.”
“Love you too, baby. See you later.” Kissing me again, he waved goodbye to the kids and left hastily.
I wouldn’t deny that he rushed to work bothered me. But there were no more late evenings, and we had made a point to sit and have family dinner each week. He had also made it to Lila’s dancing and Noah’s soccer games. Things were improving. Little steps were what counted.
I heard the back door open not even twenty minutes later as I was doing Lila’s hair. Brody came storming inside the house. “Where is my other case?” he bellowed out.
The kids froze, as did I. “Brody?”
“Who else would it fucking be?” he snapped, a loud bang, and I looked up when I saw him entering the living room. “You!” He pointed directly towards Lila angrily. “What have I told you?”
She stiffened up. I knew something was wrong.
“What?” Death filled me.
“Oh, nothing, I just opened up my briefcase, only to find it full of pink glitter and coloured gel shit all over the contracts and paperwork that I needed for this meeting! I’m going to be fucking late now. Thanks to this shit!”
“Brody,” I tried calming him. “She’s…” I had no idea how to get out or try cover up for this one. Part of me just wanted to laugh.
“No, don’t, Gabriella. I don’t want to hear it. Where did you put my other case?” he stood up, storming off.
Lila then burst into tears as Noah sat quietly, building his Lego and looking ready to cry himself. Nothing pulled my heart more than seeing my two babies upset and teary eyed. “Wait here, please.”
Practically sprinting up the stairs, I found him in his office going through each cabinet furiously, searching and throwing everything around. Mess and paperwork were strewn all over his desk. “Calm down, please.”
Spinning around, he narrowed his eyes on mine. “Calm down? Do you have any idea what this could cost me?” He shook his head. “Of course, you don’t. You’re not out working!”
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