by Jaleta Clegg
"I used to fix engines," I said, just to see what Madame Yosefie would do.
To my complete surprise, she smiled and leaned close. "I used to scrub floors," she confided. Her voice held no trace of her outrageous accent. "But that will not do, now, no, it will not do that such a Gentle One should do such menial tasks." Her accent was back, thicker than ever. She winked as she handed me a slim tube of cream. "This must be used on your hands, on the nails especially, every night and morning. And then, the men they will not be able to resist kissing your fingers. You must go now. Use the creams and lotions as I showed."
She gathered up the bottles and tubes and piled them in my arms. She shooed me towards the bathroom. I went, hoping I could remember which tube was what.
I shouldn't have worried. Each one was labeled, with instructions included. I scrubbed and lathered and rinsed and repeated until I'd used each bottle and tube at least once. It took forever. I stood in front of the mirror, scrubbed pink, smelling like an accident in a perfume factory. My hair was limp, still wet and slithery from the last potion. I wrapped a towel around myself and stepped out of the steamy bathroom.
My room had been transformed. A huge chair that looked like a torture implement dominated the center. Large cases full of strange looking contraptions and hundreds of bottles and little cases and things I couldn't identify crowded the rest of the floor. I didn't want to look any closer. I clutched my towel tighter in a sudden fit of nerves.
"Ah, already the transformation, it is begun," Madame Yosefie announced. Her huge, soft hands caught my shoulders and propelled me into the chair.
The towel slipped down. She felt the ridges of scar tissue on my back. She looked curiously. "What is this?" She bent me forward. She was like gravity, a force that I had no chance of resisting. "You poor lamb," she gasped as she saw the rest of my back. I'd almost forgotten about the scars. They were just part of who I was.
"Who is this, that you wish me to work my magic on?" Madame Yosefie demanded of Hester. "This is no society lady." The way she said it, it wasn't an insult. It was a compliment.
"She is full of surprises," Hester said, eyeing me. I couldn't read the expression on her face.
"That I can see," Yosefie said. "Well, there will be no backless gowns for you. Or low cut gowns. Yes, you must set a new trend in style. Oh, this will be fun." She clapped her hands girlishly.
As easily as that, my scars were dismissed.
I wanted to hate the results when she finished several hours later, but I couldn't. I stood in front of a full length mirror, astonished. She'd done things with my hair involving scissors and chemicals and brushes and things I didn't want to know about. She'd done the same with makeup on my face. She'd approved the wardrobe Hester had helped me buy. I stared at the results and wondered if the woman in the mirror was still me .
My hair glowed, deep chestnut brown, sparkling with gold and red highlights. It was swept into a smooth roll at the back of my head. Not a hair strayed, except for two deliberate delicate ringlets on either side of my face. Artful disarray, Yosefie had said in her fake accent as she pulled the strands loose. The makeup was subtle, barely noticeable, but the results were incredible. My eyes looked huge, a warm burnished brown. My cheekbones were highlighted, giving structure to my face.
I wore a long blue gown with a high collar and short sleeves. My bare arms were dusted with a glittering powder that made them glow golden in the light. My nails were shaped and painted delicate pink. She'd found a bracelet, a simple chain of gold, for jewelry.
I looked poised, polished, and perfect. I searched my face, feeling as if I'd somehow gotten into someone else's body.
"A miracle, " Madame Yosefie said, wiping a tear from one eye. "My magic, sometimes it amazes even me."
"Magic, yes," Hester agreed. "You look beautiful, Dace."
"How am I supposed to do this every day by myself?"
"Always the practical question," Yosefie said with a laugh. "I leave instructions, simple instructions that even a child could follow. Yes?" She held up a page covered with line after line of tiny print. My dismay at the length of it must have shown on my perfect face.
"It isn't that difficult," Hester said. "If you have questions—"
There was a knock at the door.
"Come," Hester called.
The door opened. Olin was outside, in his persona of official butler. His mask cracked when he caught sight of me. He looked me over, amazement plain on his face.
"Does it meet your approval?" Hester asked him teasingly.
"My complete approval, miss," he said to me. He cleared his throat hastily, stepping back into his role of butler. "You have a caller, my lady," he informed me.
"Who?" I asked when he didn't tell me.
"Your fiancé, Vance," he said. "Shall I send him away?"
"Not this time, Olin," Vance said from behind Olin in the doorway.
Hester fidgeted nervously at Vance's presence. She expected me to do something inappropriate. The transformation went more than skin deep. I was in character for my role, I was playing a game. And, as Vance stepped hesitantly into the room, I saw in his eyes that he was playing a game, too, a deadly serious one. He was smiling, but it didn't touch the darkness in his eyes. Whatever game it was, I was going to prove I played it better.
I crossed the room, my hands held out to him, a smile on my perfectly painted face. "I missed you."
He smiled back, but his eyes were questioning as he took my hands. "Hester and Olin have kept you well guarded. I trust you're feeling better?"
"Much," I answered.
Next move, I thought. Time to play the game better. I stood up on my toes and kissed him, lip to lip. He was only surprised for a moment. Then he took me in his arms and kissed me back. I still felt his hesitation and suspicion of my motives. I stepped back, only a little, I was still in the circle of his arms.
"Oh, I am crying over the sweetness of it," Yosefie said, sniffling loudly.
Chapter 18
"That was not what I expected," Vance told me as we walked through his father's garden. "I was expecting you to shoot me or hit me, not kiss me."
"So was Hester. You deserve it, after spreading rumors about me."
"That was their own interpretation, I only said you weren't feeling well. I didn't think you wanted me to tell them the truth and I had to tell them something."
"Then why didn't you tell them I was upset with you for announcing our engagement before you'd even asked me?"
"I did ask you. Don't you remember?"
I stopped and stared at him.
"On the yacht." He reached out one hand and ran it gently down my cheek. "I can't get over how different you look."
"Oh, yes, of course. I must have been on meds or something. I vaguely remember you asking me something. I thought it involved a drink, not marriage." I turned away from him, staring down at the hungry fish. Careful, I told myself. Play the game. Do what you have to do. You can kick him in the shins later.
"Then you aren't angry with me?"
"Are you blind and deaf and stupid? Of course I'm angry with you. You've left me alone here, with only Hester and Olin to keep me company." I smiled, innocently. He gaped, his mouth working just like one of the fish in the pond. "Your father is charming, Vance. Why did you feel you had to keep it such a secret from me, that your father was the Speaker?"
"I honestly thought you knew, that you didn't care. You were the first woman I'd ever met who didn't look at me and see political connections. Can you blame me for falling in love with you? You saw me as me, my own person."
"And what did you see me as, Vance? Gullible?"
"Never. Strong, smart, tough. I keep remembering that time you faced down the Sessimoniss leader. He could have killed you with one hand and you kept shouting in his face, pushing him until he did exactly what you wanted him to do. You are the woman I was looking for."
That was almost what Tayvis had told me, right before he admitted he loved me the
first time. I had to look away, hide the feelings deep. I had to trust Leighton to find Tayvis for me and make him understand that this was a game. I had to know if Tayvis still loved me, if he still wanted me. Vance wouldn't be a bad second choice, an insidious little whisper in my head told me. I squashed it. I didn't want to think that way. I didn't want to ever take his proposal seriously. This was not the life I wanted. I was not going to spend three hours on my hair and face every day for the rest of my life.
"Dace?" The way he said my name sent shivers up my back. "Where did you go? You looked like you were light years away."
"Memories," I said and tried to smile.
"You can forget them now." He wrapped his arm around me.
We must have looked like the poster for a couple in love. I leaned on him and pretended he was Tayvis. Appearances were what mattered now. I watched the fish nose around for food.
I jumped when someone cleared his throat behind us. Time had passed while we stood there. I glanced behind me.
"Father," Vance said stiffly.
"Speaker Shiropi," I said warmly. I did like him.
His gaze swept over both of us, taking in my change in appearance and Vance's arm still around my waist. There was the faintest question in his eyes when he met mine. I smiled and pretended everything was fine. He switched his gaze to Vance.
"Hester informs me that you are escorting Dace to the gathering tonight." Iniuri's voice was flat, almost an accusation.
"Only if she agrees," Vance said.
Iniuri looked at me. His eyes told me that if I said no to Vance, he'd be happy to enforce it. He guessed more than I wanted him to, but he was also on my side. I trusted him.
"I would be happy to go with him," I said.
The game was on. The opening moves were made. Iniuri bowed his head.
"Please be more considerate of her this time," he told his son. "Rumor has a way of turning ugly when circumstances go unexplained." He looked back at me. "It has been my pleasure to have you as my guest. Please feel free to stay as long as you like." He gave Vance a warning glance before he turned and left.
"Well, that was pleasant," Vance said.
"Why is he angry with you? This isn't just about me."
"No, he likes you." He looked at me as if it were a disease I'd contracted. "He feels he has to protect you from me now."
"Are you that dangerous?"
I surprised him into a laugh. "Not to you, Dace. Never to you." There was a serious undertone to the words, a reassurance and a warning. Levels on levels.
"What is this gathering tonight?" I said, moving away from dangerous and deep topics.
"Some retirement party for a government official. Deadly dull. Even the food will be bland. But I'm required to attend. One of my new duties." He took my arm, walking me slowly back towards the house. "The Council confirmed me as the next Speaker, when my father chooses to retire, of course."
"How does that work?" I was curious. I had no idea how such things were passed on to the next person.
"They nominate a Second Speaker when the Speaker is confirmed, the whole Council votes on it," he talked as we walked. "It's usually an appointment for life. They assume the Second will take the place of the Speaker when he chooses to step down or is forced into it by a vote of the Council."
"It isn't hereditary? Hasn't your family been the Speaker for hundreds of years?"
"Off and on. Not always. The Second Speaker, named when my father assumed the position, was Roderick, the Emperor's cousin. I assume I don't need to explain to you why he is no longer Second Speaker."
Roderick was the man who framed me and Lowell and my whole crew for treason to cover up his own plotting. It didn't make sense to me, especially now.
"Why would Roderick plot against the Emperor when he knew he was going to be named Speaker eventually? What would he gain from plotting treason?"
"Who knows?" Vance shrugged.
My mind kept going on that line. What would Vance have to gain by being involved in a conspiracy? I studied him out of the corner of my eye as we walked. He seemed tense, weighed down by something. He caught my glance and smiled wryly.
"Sorry, I'm a bit depressed about the whole thing. I was hoping to land a minor post somewhere where I could just relax and enjoy the rest of my life. I never wanted to be Speaker."
"You'd rather be ambassador to the Sessimoniss?" I said, smiling teasingly at him. "Because if they'd given that post to you, I would never marry you."
"But why?" he teased back. "You already speak the language. And being married to their high priestess is sure to be a good influence on them."
I made a rude noise.
"It's nice to know the change is only skin deep. I was worried there for a while."
"Be nice, Vance, or I'll change my mind about breaking your face." I smiled sweetly at him. We stopped beside the door to the house.
"You are definitely going to be good for me."
"And how is that?" I asked, raising one eyebrow.
He laughed and smoothed his finger over it. "You'll keep me laughing. I never quite know what you're going to say or do next."
"Doesn't it worry you that I might offend the sensibilities of your friends?"
"My friends? No. Max approves of you. It's the rest of society that might find you hard to take. And that is their problem, never mine."
"Good," I said.
Hester was inside, holding a wrap for me. She pretended not to watch us too openly. I stepped towards Vance and kissed him again. Let her start the rumors about us. I had to pretend and I might as well get used to it. Vance kissed me back.
"You'll have to control yourself tonight," he said. "Such displays will give the old women heart attacks. And the men will all die of jealousy."
"And the gossips will talk. I'd almost rather live on Serrimonia. Almost."
He took my wrap from Hester and put it around my shoulders. His hands lingered until I stepped away.
The flitter waited for us in front of the mansion. The air was alive with lights and flitters and glittering displays of windows in the buildings all around us. I took a deep breath. Freedom, I told myself. Pretend you're flying. And smile.
Vance handed me into the flitter. I settled into the plush seat. He took the one next to me and gave the flitter our destination. The flitter lifted from the ground. We slipped into a stream of vehicles gliding high over the city. I sat back and looked out the window.
"We could arrive fashionably late instead of on time," Vance said as we rounded a trio of needle shaped towers. "The gardens are open until midnight."
"And disappoint your host? Not to mention fueling the gossip factory."
He reached for my hand and squeezed it. There was a message in his offer. I wasn't ready to trust him yet.
"You're right. We should arrive on time. We can always leave early."
"And you can take me straight back to your father's house. You can escort me through the gardens tomorrow. I'm sure Hester would agree to chaperone us." I sent him my own message. I didn't want to be alone with him unless I couldn't avoid it, not somewhere where we weren't being monitored by someone. I was sure we'd never been out of Hester's and Olin's sight the entire time we were together in his father's garden.
"You aren't the same person who agreed to sneak out of the hospital with me. We were alone on the yacht and you didn't seem to mind."
"I've been educated on propriety since then." I turned my head away, looking out the window.
He let go of my hand, turning to his own window. We flew for a while in silence, moving farther and farther out over the neverending city.
"I'm sorry, Dace, if the rumors hurt you. That was never my intention."
"What was your intention, Vance? To hurt Tayvis? To drive him away? To prove you could win whatever contest you imagined you had with him? You won, Vance. Let it go."
"Ouch," he muttered.
"What game were you playing at the party?" I asked, too angry now to stop. "It w
as partly your fault I ended up at your father's house unconscious for almost a week."
He opened his mouth to give me an excuse, I read it in his face.
"Don't try to apologize or say you didn't know. You knew what shape I was in and you insisted on dragging me to the party anyway. And then you dug your fingers in, knowing it would hurt enough that I couldn't do anything to stop you. Tayvis is gone, no one knows where he went. So by default, you win."
"Right now I don't think I've won anything."
"Don't push me," I warned him. "Give me time, Vance. I'll pretend for now, for your sake." I turned away, to stare out at Linas-Drias, fabled capital of the Empire. I would have traded it all for the familiar view of any frontier planet, a sprinkle of lights and lots of darkness, not this undulating light show that carpeted the entire planet.
The silence in the flitter was thick, heavy and oppressive. I leaned my head against the window, welcoming the coolness of it. I concentrated on letting the anger go, burying it deep, so I could pretend convincingly.
"I did what I had to," I thought I heard Vance whisper sometime later.
I blinked my way out of a doze to glance over at him. He was looking down at the city below us. I must have imagined it.
"How far is it?" I asked.
"Another twenty minutes," he said without looking at me. "We've come almost halfway across the northern continent."
It was full night outside and had been for some time. I looked back out at the twinkling lights and soaring buildings. I looked up, but I couldn't see stars. The lights around us were too many, too bright. I sat back, leaning into the cushioned seat, and closed my eyes.