by Cathy Sharp
‘Thank you for reading to them while I took the trays round,’ Sally said when she entered the schoolroom and found the little ones clustered about Angela, their faces entranced as they listened to the story. ‘Nan asked me if I could carry the trays, because she was on laundry duty today, but Jean was busy too with cleaning the bathrooms and I didn’t have time until you came.’
‘I’m always happy to help, you know that.’ Angela smiled at her. ‘You never complain whatever you do, Sally, but really the kitchen staff ought to take trays up to the wards.’
Sally shrugged. ‘We all help each other – or most of us do …’
Angela quirked an eyebrow. ‘Who has upset you, Sally?’
‘It’s just Staff Nurse Carole’s attitude. I’ve tried to be friendly, as we said we would, but she is always so abrupt – well, rude really. I can’t help it, I don’t like her.’
‘She is a little spiky,’ Angela admitted. ‘There must be a reason, I suppose.’
‘I offered to help her so that she could take her break and she snapped my head off.’
‘Perhaps she is unhappy about something?’
‘I think she is just – well, not very nice,’ Sally said, ‘I much prefer Michelle.’
‘Michelle is popular with all of us,’ Angela said, and then changed the subject. ‘Have you been out with Andrew recently?’
‘Yes, two days ago. I wore some new shoes I bought in Petticoat Lane – well, new to me. They had hardly been used, and they are real leather. I long for the day when the shops have lots of pretty things in again, don’t you?’
‘I think there’s more material and clothes about now but shoes are still hard to find. I suppose the good leathers have to be imported.’
‘Yes,’ Sally agreed. ‘How long will you be in the country?’
‘Only a couple of days – why?’
‘Andrew was asking if I would like to ask someone out for a meal in a nice hotel. Another couple, I think he means. I wondered if you would come – and perhaps Mr Adderbury?
‘Is it a special occasion?’
‘Yes, it’s my birthday.’ Sally blushed rosily. ‘I thought as Andrew and Mr Adderbury are colleagues and friends …’
‘Yes, of course I’ll come and I’ll ask Mark – or perhaps Mr Markham should do that? When is your birthday?’
‘Friday the 12th March …’
‘Gosh, it’s March already!’ Angela said. ‘We’ve got behind with the concert. I think I’m going to have to move it forward into April, but don’t worry, Sally. I wouldn’t dream of missing your birthday celebration.’
Sally was glad that she’d invited Angela, and Andrew would ask Mr Adderbury. Andrew had asked her if she would like a party for her twentieth birthday, but she’d told him she would prefer to invite a couple of friends to a nice restaurant for dinner.
‘Who would you like to come?’ He’d seemed pleased by her choice.
‘Angela is the person I get on best with at work, and I think she and Mr Adderbury are friends …’
‘That would be perfect,’ Andrew said, ‘but wouldn’t you like to invite your sister and your family?’
‘Not really.’ Sally grew awkward as she felt his probing gaze on her. She couldn’t explain to him that her family didn’t approve of her going out with a man ten years older and from a different class, and her sister, Brenda, could be a blabbermouth. Her father hadn’t said much more than that she should think carefully about what she wanted, but her mother never stopped nagging her.
‘He’s pleasant as a friend, love,’ Mum had said to her in one of their arguments. ‘But you must see that it is all wrong? You’re out of your league and you’ll be giving up your dreams, Sally. Please don’t try to be something you aren’t. It will end in heartbreak for you – and me, because you’ll leave us behind. Once you’re his wife we shan’t be good enough for you.’
‘Mum! I would never do that,’ Sally cried. ‘You’ve got Andrew all wrong. He isn’t proud or stuffy – and he liked you and Dad. Why can’t you try to like him … for my sake?’
‘I’ve told you, it isn’t that I dislike him – I just feel he will hurt you. Besides, he won’t want his wife to be a nurse – he’ll expect you to stay at home and wait on him and his children.’
Her mother’s words had hurt Sally, even though they hadn’t been unkindly meant. Her family saw Andrew as being from a class they had been taught to distrust if not actually dislike, and it would take time to win them away from their old-fashioned prejudices. They didn’t understand that his smiles made her knees go weak and the very thought of giving him up would break her heart. Yes, she did want to be a nurse, but if she explained Andrew would understand – wouldn’t he?
Besides, there was another reason that Sally would rather her family and work colleagues didn’t meet again yet. Her father was just settling into his new position, and proud of the fact that he’d been recommended for the job. He believed the recommendation had come from one of the builders he’d worked for doing odd jobs. If he ever guessed that it came from Angela he would be angry and humiliated.
Sally had found out about it by chance. Her father had come home glowing with pride because he was going to work for this wonderful builder who was restoring fire-damaged property, old warehouses and factories that had been partially destroyed by the bombing but were structurally sound. Remembering all that Angela had told her about the man who had sold her the lease of the beautiful apartment she now lived in, Sally had swiftly put two and two together. Angela hadn’t breathed a word about having told the builder that Mr Rush was looking for work; in fact she’d been strangely quiet when Sally had told her the exciting news, hardly commentating, and that wasn’t like her.
Although she wouldn’t dream of embarrassing Angela by thanking her, Sally was very grateful. Her dad’s new job had made all the difference. He was bright and cheerful again, filled with hope for the future and her mother had stopped saying she was going to find a job. She’d told Sally that she didn’t need the extra money she’d been giving her since her father was put on short time at the Docks, and so she’d been able to start saving and continue her night classes.
Sally would take her exams very soon. If she got the certificate – and her tutor at night school was sure she would – she could apply for a place at a teaching hospital. Yet now that the opportunity was fast approaching, Sally was feeling oddly reluctant. She didn’t want to leave her friends at St Saviour’s … and she wasn’t sure how Andrew would react if she told him that she wouldn’t be able to see him as often. The training would be hard and the rules were strict, much stricter than those Sister Beatrice imposed. Sally lived at home now, but she would have to live in the Nurses’ Home when she entered the teaching hospital as a probationer.
If he proposed and she agreed to marry him, he wouldn’t want her to go off and start training to be a nurse, and the hospital probably wouldn’t want her because it would be a waste of a place if she started a family … Marriage or the career she’d always longed for? It was a choice Sally didn’t want to have to make.
Sally wasn’t certain of her own mind. She loved looking after the children, and secretly believed that she might be happiest of all married to a man she cared for with a large family of her own. She couldn’t marry until she was twenty-one unless she had her father’s permission. Sally thought he might give it grudgingly if Andrew asked, but did she want to get married for a year or two?
Being in love was wonderful, and when Andrew kissed her, Sally could only think of him and the way he made her feel, but the divide was there and she couldn’t quite forget it just yet. Her mother’s doubts were like a dark shadow hovering at Sally’s shoulder. Mum thought she should do her training as she’d planned and when she’d passed her exams and had a future career in prospect then it would be time enough to think of marriage and babies – but Andrew was older and he wanted to settle down and have a family quite soon.
Sally smothered a sigh as she went to coll
ect the younger children and take them to the bathroom before lunch. There was no use in fretting about things until Andrew asked her. If he did the most likely person to help her would be Angela. She could talk to her far more easily than she could to her mother or sister these days.
THIRTY-THREE
‘How are you really, Daddy?’ Angela smiled lovingly at him. He was a handsome, distinguished man, kind and generous, and she adored him. ‘Don’t say you’re fine, because I know you’re not.’
Her father looked at her intently for a moment, sadness in his eyes. ‘You’ve really grown up, haven’t you, Angela? It started when you married John. I thought his death was the end for you … but this job at St Saviour’s, well, it has been the making of you as a person. I’m very proud of you, my dear.’
‘Thank you, dearest, but please don’t change the subject. Is there anything the matter with you – or is it just worry?’
‘A bit of both, I imagine,’ he said in the calm, gentle manner that made her love him so much. ‘I am very concerned about your mother – but after you spoke to her last night she agreed to see Mark when he comes down. We can only hope that he will persuade her to go away for treatment … if it isn’t too expensive.’
‘You’re not to worry about that,’ Angela said, relieved that here was a way she could help him. ‘I’m earning a wage and I don’t need the income from my investments for the moment so let me pay the fees. No, don’t refuse. I want to do it – for both of you.’
‘Thank you, I may need help with the fees,’ he acknowledged. ‘As far as my health is concerned I’ve spoken to my doctor – and he says there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just a little warning to slow up a bit and not do so much.’
‘Is it your heart?’
‘No, not really, just a little murmur,’ he assured her. ‘Forget it, my love. Once we get this business of your mother’s settled I shall be fine.’
Angela accepted his word, because she knew he wasn’t going to tell her even if his doctor had given him bad news. ‘Well, do as Dr Horne said and take care of yourself.’
‘Oh, I shall,’ he said. ‘Now, I have to visit my office. What are you going to do with yourself?’
‘I’ll walk down to the church with some flowers and bits of greenery,’ Angela said. ‘Mum asked me to give Mrs Jenkins a hand with them, because it should have been her turn and she doesn’t feel up to it.’
‘Off you go then,’ her father said. ‘I’ll be back in time for tea and your mother is having a nice little sleep.’
The church was very ancient and very beautiful, and it was here that she’d married John, the man she’d believed that she would love for the rest of her life. Angela knew that a part of her would always remain his, but she needed to move on. Life was exciting and she wanted to live it to the full again – but whether that included making Nick Hadden a permanent part of her future she wasn’t sure, and Mark had given no sign that he was interested in anything but friendship. Standing in the beautiful church she found her memories flooding back and she wondered if she was truly ready to love again. John was too strong here, his presence almost tangible – yet life had so much to offer and she refused to look back in regret.
‘Well, those lilies look magnificent.’ The vicar stopped to admire her work. ‘Your mother has always supported us, Mrs Morton. I do hope she is recovering from her chest infection? She is a great loss to our little society – and of course we don’t see much of you these days.’
It was the excuse her father had given people he knew for his wife’s sudden withdrawal from the activities she’d once taken such an interest in, but it was only a matter of time before people discovered the truth about her excessive drinking.
‘I work for a charity in London and I can’t get down often.’
‘Of course, I understand. Mrs Hendry told us. She is proud of you, you know – but you should not neglect your family, my dear. Your dear father has not looked well for a while now.’
Angela nodded and turned back to the flowers as he moved on. His words made her feel guilty, as if she hadn’t already wondered enough times if her mother’s breakdown had been caused by her deciding to leave home. Yet she was entitled to a life of her own, surely? And Daddy hadn’t blamed her. He wouldn’t want her to give up the work she loved and move back home.
Leaving the church, she was aware of a heavy sadness. She’d be devastated if anything happened to her father. Of course she loved her mother, but there wasn’t the same closeness between them – though perhaps she was fretting for nothing and her father was just tired and worried. It was only natural that he would be when her mother had taken to drinking – and the shop-lifting too … Angela still found it difficult to believe that the woman who had always been so proper and so proud could do something of the sort. Who could ever know what was in another person’s heart and mind – even when they were your family?
Angela loved the walk from the church to her father’s house, because of the fields stretching away to a rise in the distance where an ancient oak tree stood. The hedges and trees were a bit bare at this time of year, but the symmetry of the oak was always there, majestic and timeless.
Her thoughts turned to Mark. He was a good friend to Angela, more than that, and to her family – but he seemed to have placed a distance between himself and her. She knew that he’d taken Carole out again, because the nurse had told her before she left for the country, a sly look in her eyes that made Angela want to box her ears! She couldn’t like Carole however much she tried and she couldn’t understand why Mark would want to be involved with a girl like that … there was something she didn’t trust about her. Angela couldn’t say for certain what it was but she didn’t think Carole was a very nice person.
Sighing, she brought her thoughts back to a happier place: the children of St Saviour’s and the concert she was planning.
THIRTY-FOUR
Mark finally managed to catch up with Sister Beatrice − after he’d taken Carole out for that regrettable evening earlier in the week. God, what a fool he’d been! He still couldn’t believe that he’d made such a stupid mistake. When he’d woken in that hotel bedroom next to Carole and remembered a little hazily the events of the previous evening, he’d felt sick and annoyed with himself. He could remember Carole suggesting they get a room because he’d had too much alcohol to drive, and he vaguely remembered her draping herself all over him in the lift; and he’d responded by kissing her with some passion. He seemed to remember that he’d wanted her badly then, but once they got inside the bedroom it was a complete blank. Yet Carole’s hints and looks the next morning seemed to indicate that he’d made love to her even if he’d passed out afterwards.
Now Mark felt thoroughly ashamed of himself. To get drunk and take a woman he fancied to bed in a hotel was bad enough, because it seemed rather sleazy in retrospect – but when he scarcely remembered it that was worse. He wasn’t that kind of a man and he felt ashamed of his behaviour – and devastated that he’d let himself down. If Angela discovered the truth she would be disgusted.
He regretted the impulse to drown his sorrows in goodness knows how many glasses of champagne. What had he been thinking of? It was a stupid thing to do and he wished he’d never asked the girl out. He wasn’t in love with Carole. Yes, he’d fancied her – what red-bloodied man wouldn’t in that sexy black dress of hers? Yet surely he should have had more sense. It was extremely embarrassing. How could he apologise and explain that he wasn’t free to marry her … wasn’t free because he was in love with someone else? He felt a bitter taste in his mouth as he realised that he’d probably scuppered any chance he’d had of winning Angela. If she knew what he’d done … it didn’t bear thinking of. He’d been a damned fool!
Dismissing his own problems for now, Mark knocked at Sister Beatrice’s door. He’d just spent half an hour talking to Terry and Nancy. Nancy was embroidering a square of linen with the initials AM in one corner. The design in blue silk was attractive and Mark asked he
r who the handkerchief was for, even though he had a good idea.
‘It’s for Miss Angela,’ Nancy said, smiling contentedly. ‘She likes blue, you see, and she wears it often. She has a lovely blue twinset just this colour.’
‘It is very kind of you to do that for her, Nancy.’
‘Sister Beatrice asked me what kind of schoolwork I was best at. I told her cookery and needlework, so she arranged for me to have some materials to embroider and make things – and I’m to have cookery lessons in the kitchens here three days a week. She asked if I could add up, write my letters and read, and when I said I could, she said it was all I really needed. I can probably do some exercises for the school as homework.’
‘Yes, I dare say she is right,’ Mark said. ‘Did someone tell me you wanted to be a waitress and work at Lyons?’
‘Sister Beatrice says I can’t do that until I’m eighteen, because they wouldn’t take me – but she said if I learned to cook there might be a job for me here until I’m old enough to leave St Saviour’s … and she says we can keep our room for the time being.’
‘Well, that was kind of her,’ Mark said, glancing at Terry, who hardly ever spoke when his sister was in the room. The boy was staring moodily at the ground, taking little notice of anything. ‘You seem to have settled down, Nancy – but what about Terry? What is he going to do?’
‘He’s all right with me,’ Nancy said. ‘He doesn’t go to school, sir. Even when we lived at home, the school wouldn’t have him. Pa went after them once, but they said …’ She lowered her voice. ‘They called him a dunce, sir, and told Pa to keep him at home out of harm’s way.’
‘That was very wrong of whoever told your father that.’ Mark frowned, his dark eyes intent on the lad’s face. He gave no sign of having heard his sister’s remarks or Mark’s answer, but Mark wasn’t fooled. Terry was angry and rightly so. He deserved an education even if he was slow. His suppressed anger was seething inside him, and one of these days it was going to come out. ‘A friend of mine has special books that help people to learn. I’ll ask him for a couple of them for Terry – and a puzzle. It would give him something to do.’