by Jill Mansell
Ha, if it weren’t for Alexander Graham Know-it-all Cleverclogs Brainbox Bell, she’d never have got herself into this mess in the first place.
Oh well, too late, it was ringing.
Hugh picked up on the third ring. This was good, Millie decided. At least it meant he’d been awake.
‘Allo? Allo? Ah, bonjour m'sieur, thees eez the News of ze World, yes? I ’ave a scoop for you! A beeg, beeg item of gossip you weel not believe!’
Chapter 57
IN CORNWALL, HUGH'S HEART began to pound. Unable to sleep himself, he had been lying in bed thinking about Millie. And now here she was, ringing him.
The question was, had Hester phoned her?
Feeling sick, forcing himself to sound normal, he replied gravely, ‘Oui, mademoiselle, this is the News of the World. You are through to the Beeg Beeg Gossip department. May I ask what this is about?’
‘Ah, mais oui! Ze beautiful bestselling novelist, Orla Hart! I tell you, you vill not believe zis!’
Hugh began to relax. He knew Millie well enough by now to know that she hadn’t spoken to Hester.
He still had a chance to get this right.
‘You’re slipping into German,’ he warned.
‘Bugger, so I am.’ In her hotel room, Millie took another slurp of champagne. ‘Better give up on the accent.’ She paused, then said, ‘You still won’t believe it when I tell you about Orla.’
‘Where are you?’
‘In London. In the poshest hotel you ever saw. Well, maybe not the poshest one you ever saw,’ Millie conceded. ‘But as far as I’m concerned, it's a palace.’
‘The Ritz?’
‘Nooo! The Royal Lancaster, overlooking Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens,’ boasted Millie. ‘Chandeliers like you wouldn’t believe and carpet so thick you could hide a sniper in it. Orla brought me up here, we’ve been to an awards ceremony.’ Unable to resist name-dropping, she added proudly, ‘Michael Palin was there.’
‘Don’t tell me, Orla ripped off her clothes and did a streak across the stage.’
‘Nope!’
‘She ripped off Michael Palin's clothes and made him streak across the stage.’
‘If only. Much worse than that,’ Millie pronounced with relish. ‘Oh dear, maybe I shouldn’t tell you.’
‘Millie. You have to.’
‘Okay! Orla's been shagging! I caught her in the ladies’ loo… you’ll never guess who she was with.’
Hugh, clearly amused, said, ‘Michael Palin?’
‘Ha! Much much much worse. Christie Carson!’
‘You mean the ugly old bloke with the beard?’ Hugh was laughing now. ‘Her sworn enemy? That Christie Carson?’
‘I know, I know, but it turns out he isn’t old and he isn’t ugly. And they aren’t sworn enemies anymore. In fact, they’re probably in her suite right now, still doing it. Good thing Orla booked us into separate rooms!’ Millie exclaimed. ‘Otherwise I’d be spending the night curled up on one of the sofas in reception.’
Tucking her bare feet under her, she told Hugh everything. The longer they talked, the less she wanted to hang up the phone. She could happily carry on like this all night. Hearing his voice. Imagining his face. Picturing his dark eyes and the way his mouth curved up at the corners when he smiled…
Damn, getting tiddly now. The bottle of Veuve Clicquot was almost empty. And—completely pathetically—hot tears were beginning to well up in her eyes.
‘By the way, I’ve come to a decision. I’m leaving Cornwall, moving up to London,’ Millie blurted out. Tell him now, then you’ll have to do it, you can’t back down.
‘What? Why?’ Hugh sounded taken aback. ‘Why would you want to leave?’
‘I’ve just made up my mind. It's the best thing to do. Lots of people move to London.’
‘Lots of people living in London wish they could move to Cornwall.’
Tears were now rolling down Millie's cheeks. Silently, they dripped on to the starched cotton sheets pulled up over her knees. When she was confident she could sound normal—and not as if she was blubbing like a big baby—she said, ‘I just think I need a change. Nothing wrong with that. Oh, and there's something else I’ve decided.’
There was a long pause.
‘What?’
‘The next time we bump into each other, I’m going to show you something. My tattoo.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ll be moving away, won’t I?’ Draining the last dregs from the bottle into her tooth mug, Millie wiped her eyes. ‘Anyway, it's no big deal. Only a stupid tattoo. If you want to see it, you can.’
This is ridiculous. He probably isn’t even interested. So much for Con's brilliant suggestion.
Another, even longer pause.
‘I’d like that.’
He was just being polite, she could tell.
Glancing at her watch, Millie saw that it was almost one o’clock. Now that she’d stopped crying, her swollen eyelids were beginning to droop.
‘I suppose I’m keeping you up.’
Please don’t agree with me! Don’t say yes!
‘It's getting pretty late,’ Hugh agreed. (Bastard. Wrong answer!) ‘Maybe you should get some sleep.’
He didn’t want to talk to her anymore. Feeling rejected, Millie knocked back the last inch of flat champagne.
‘I’m not tired. Are you tired?’
He sounded amused.
‘Actually, I am. Exhausted. And I do have a busy day tomorrow.’
Millie blinked hard. Here it was again, the oh-so-familiar brush-off. He’d been listening to her patiently, pretending to be interested, and all the time wondering how much longer she was going to be on the phone.
She’d been endlessly prattling on and he’d indulged her. Because he simply wasn’t the type to interrupt and retort, ‘For Christ's sake woman, will you listen to yourself?’ before slamming the phone down.
Oh God, I’m so selfish.
‘That's fine!’ Summoning up a carefree, cheerful voice, as opposed to a whiny, self-pitying, and somewhat-the-worse-for-drink one, Millie took a deep breath. ‘You get some sleep now. Sorry I’ve kept you up. You really should have said.’
‘No problem.’ Hugh sounded equally cheerful. ‘And I’m glad you rang. Bye, then.’
You pig, you just don’t get it, do you? You don’t understand me at all!
Aloud, Millie said, ‘Bye.’
At eight-thirty the next morning the phone shrilled next to Millie's bed.
‘What? What? Who is it?’ Jolted into consciousness, she stared blankly around the room. A strange room, with the door on the wrong side and unfamiliar curtains.
Extremely posh curtains.
The phone carried on shrilling. Feeling stupid, Millie realized it hadn’t been the doorbell after all. That was the trouble with waking up somewhere you weren’t used to. The telephone didn’t ring like the one at home. It caught you on the hop, deliberately confused you…
Shrill, shrill.
Answering it might be a good idea.
Millie seized the receiver and mumbled, ‘Hello?’
If it was Con, she would kill him. It surely couldn’t be Orla, who never woke before nine. Particularly when she’d spent a torrid night shagging with the enemy.
‘Miss Brady? Good morning, it's reception here.’ The voice clearly belonged to someone who had been up since six and had eaten a muesli-and-orange-juice-type breakfast before jogging three miles to work. She sounded disgustingly healthy.
‘Oh, hi.’ Eyeing last night's empty bottle of Veuve Clicquot on the bedside table, Millie briefly closed her eyes and waited for her hangover to kick in. Oh no, and she’d phoned Hugh last night. Droned on and on like one of those sad people who rang late-night radio phone-ins and stubbornly refused to get off the line.
I’ve turned into a nuisance caller. Any more hassle and he’ll be forced to get one of those court order thingies to stop me harassing him—
‘Miss Brady,
I’m sorry, but there appears to be some kind of mix-up with your reservation.’
The sun was streaming through the curtains Millie had last night forgotten to close. Averting her eyes from its glare, she huddled into the pillows.
‘Mix-up? What kind of mix-up?’
‘I’m really sorry. Maybe if you could come down here to reception we can get it sorted out.’
‘Now?’ Millie was having trouble concentrating. ‘You want me to come down now?’
The receptionist replied chirpily, ‘If you could, that’d be great. See you in a mo!’
A mo?
This girl had to be joking.
The phone went dead in Millie's hand. Little Ms. Bright’n’Breezy had hung up.
Regular bowels. Millie would bet a month's wages the girl had regular bowels.
But was that actually such a great thing? What if you had a bowel movement at seven-thirty every morning without fail? What if you were on the Central Line surrounded by fellow commuters at the time?
Ha! Wouldn’t be so great then, would it?
In the bathroom, Millie splashed cold water over her face, hurriedly brushed her teeth, and combed her morning-after-the-night-before hair into some kind of order.
Back in her room, she discovered the downside of not closing the curtains. Her suitcase, lying open on the floor next to the window, contained her white jeans. Sadly it also contained the Cadbury bar she had torn open and half eaten yesterday afternoon. The remaining half, having liquefied in the heat, had melted all over one leg of her jeans.
The moral of the story being, once you’ve started a Cadbury bar, always always finish it.
Wrecked trousers. Bugger. Champagne-stained suede dress. Bum. Bending down and rummaging through the extremely small case, Millie pulled out her best nightie—last year's Christmas present from Hester. Made of heavy lilac silk with a deeper lilac velvet trim, it really wasn’t nightieish at all. In fact, with its spaghetti straps, fitted bodice and just-above-the-knee hemline it could easily pass as a summer dress.
Which was just as well, seeing as it was going to have to.
Making her way down in the lift, Millie tried to imagine how the mix-up could have come about. Had her room been double-booked? If the hotel was full, did that mean she was about to be turfed out into the street?
The lift doors slid open and Millie instantly spotted the receptionist in question. Everything about the girl was pert. She was even wearing her hair in pigtails. Her favorite film had to be, just had to be The Sound of Music.
‘Millie Brady?’ The receptionist flashed an apologetic smile. The badge she wore announced that her name was Wendi. With an i. ‘I’m sorry about this. He made me do it.’
As her perfectly made-up eyes slid sideways, so did Millie's. Before, she had been concentrating on Wendi-with-an-i. Now she saw who was standing a few feet away and her stomach went DOINNGGG, like a Sumo wrestler crash-landing on a trampoline.
Hugh was leaning against the desk, watching her reaction.
‘My God, I don’t believe this!’ Crazily, it occurred to her that maybe he had a twin brother he’d never told her about. Staring at him, Millie said carefully, ‘Hugh? ’
‘Is this okay?’ Wendi looked as though she might be about to pounce on the nearest panic button. ‘You do know him?’
In a daze, Millie said, ‘Well, I thought I did.’
‘You told me Orla had abandoned you.’ Hugh's tone was conversational. ‘I thought you might not be safe here all on your own. Also,’ he added, ‘you did say that the next time we bumped into each other you’d show me your tattoo.’
‘You’re certain this is all right?’ Wendi needed reassurance. ‘I mean, he seems normal enough, but he did ask me to do something pretty weird just now. I told him straight, there was no way I was doing that.’
Having somehow made it from Cornwall, Hugh now appeared to have forgotten what he was supposed to say next. Similarly, finding it easier to talk to Wendi-with-an-i than to him, Millie cleared her throat and said delicately, ‘Um… did he by any chance want you to dress up in a gorilla suit and burst into my room on roller skates?’
‘What? No!’ Wendi's eyebrows rocketed into her fringe. Turning to Hugh, she gasped, ‘My God, you really are weird.’
Hugh's tone was consoling. ‘I’d never have asked you to do that.’
‘What then?’ prompted Millie.
‘He wanted me to phone your room, put on a Dutch accent and ask you some kind of… well, here, I can’t figure it out.’ Wendi pushed a piece of paper across the desk. ‘I mean, this is bizarre. He says he's driven up here from Cornwall overnight, but how can anyone be that desperate for the answer to some dumb riddle?’
Millie read what was written on the sheet of paper.
Clue: Idiot. Two words, four and seven letters. Last letter, N.
Wendi might be pert, but she wasn’t the brightest fairy light on the Christmas tree.
‘It's not a riddle. It's a crossword clue,’ Millie explained. ‘And I think I know the answer. Hugh Emerson.’
Hugh nodded.
‘That's me. I am that idiot.’ He paused, then added steadily, ‘But I’m over it now, I promise.’
Millie began to tingle all over. Was he actually saying what she thought he was saying? Or, at least, trying to say?
Chapter 58
‘WHERE ARE WE GOING?’ Millie protested as he led her out of the hotel. ‘I haven’t got my handbag with me.’
Come to think of it, I’m not even wearing any knickers.
Oops.
‘No problem. My treat.’ Hugh nodded at the open-top double-decker across the road. It was one of those sightseeing buses, Millie realized, the kind that provided hour-long tours of the city.
‘You don’t want to live in London,’ Hugh went on. ‘It's dirty and crowded and horrible.’
The bus driver was leaning against the railings of Hyde Park, smoking a roll-up and waiting for the first tourists of the day.
‘It's got Buckingham Palace.’ Millie pointed to the board propped up against the side of the bus, depicting the delights on offer. ‘Look, and Downing Street and the Millennium Wheel, Regent's Park and Kew Gardens,’ she recited. ‘Not to mention the Houses of Parliament, Tower Bridge, and much much more.’
‘That's why I’m going to show them to you now. Get it out of your system. Once you’ve seen everything, the novelty will wear off.’
‘It might not.’
‘Newquay's better,’ Hugh assured her. ‘It has the sea, for a start. And beaches.’
Millie feigned horror.
‘You mean London doesn’t have a sea? It doesn’t have beaches?’
‘There's always the Thames. We might be able to rustle you up a few mudflats.’
‘Will I not be able to surf?’ gasped Millie, who had never surfed in her life.
‘Two please,’ Hugh told the bus driver, who was looking at them as if they were barmy.
Millie made sure she followed him up the narrow, curving staircase. She was also careful to keep her nightie tightly wrapped around her legs—accidentally coming out minus your knickers wasn’t what you’d call restful.
‘This is weird.’ Millie shook her head when they’d chosen their seats. ‘I still can’t believe you drove up here. Have you any idea how cross I was with you, when you practically hung up on me last night?’
Hugh, looking amused, said, ‘You did sound the teeniest bit pissed off.’
The Sumo wrestler was still trampolining away inside her stomach. Millie felt that, all in all, she was doing a pretty good job of sounding normal. What's more, considering the distance he’d driven, Hugh was looking pretty good himself. His white cotton shirt was crumpled, but that didn’t matter one bit. His black trousers were gorgeous, her favorites. She longed to run her fingers through his hair, so sun-streaked by now it was practically honey blond. His humorous dark eyes were flecked with gold in the sunlight, as was the stubble on his tanned face. Millie was finding this stubb
le disturbingly attractive. She also liked the fact that he wasn’t wearing aftershave; instead, he smelt clean and sexy and intensely Hughish. Phew, so this was what they meant by pheromones. She could sit here and breathe in his heavenly smell all day.
‘Anyway.’ Hugh tapped her right thigh. ‘You promised.’
They hadn’t been alone together on the open top deck for long. It was filling up fast with chattering, camcorder-wielding tourists.
Bracing herself, Millie slowly raised the hem of her dress-cum-nightie to reveal the tattoo on her tanned thigh.
Hugh surveyed it in silence for several seconds.
Finally he spoke.
‘When did this happen?’
For heaven's sake, when did he think she’d had it done— last week?
‘Six years ago.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘You have to understand. I was only nineteen. I’d been going out with this boy for a couple of months and he persuaded me to have it done. I was mad about him, so I thought it was a great idea. Plus, I knew it would infuriate my mother. Of course,’ Millie sighed, ‘we split up ten days later when I found out he’d been seeing some other girl behind my back. So there you go,’ she added dryly. ‘My first ever love-rat.’
Sadly though, not my last.
The corners of Hugh's mouth began to twitch.
‘And you’ve been stuck with this permanent reminder of him ever since. Still, he wasn’t all bad.’
Millie gazed down at the neatly executed heart shape, with the name of her ex-boyfriend enclosed within it.
Hugh.
‘So, don’t tell me, you’ve been waiting all these years for the right man to come along,’ Hugh deadpanned. ‘Or at least some man with the right name. You must have been delighted when you found my wallet under that bush.’
‘Ha ha,’ said Millie.
‘Were you never tempted to give Hugh Grant a ring?’
‘Oh I did, loads of times. But he just kept saying, “Look, it's terribly nice of you to offer, but I’m just the teensiest bit busy right now… ”’
‘Bad luck,’ Hugh sympathized.
‘I was going to get the heart filled in,’ said Millie. ‘But it hurt so much having the stupid thing done in the first place I kept putting it off. Then I thought I’d just leave it there as a reminder never to do anything so completely ridiculous ever again.’