by Sarah Thorn
“You are! Oh, I just know it! That’s wonderful news, Ellie! Can I go with you to find out?”
“Of course!”
It was a few hours before they stepped back out into the light from the doctor’s office. He had confirmed Margaret’s suspicions and had even given her a round-about date when she should expect the child to arrive.
“Oh, Margie, there are so many things to ponder now, so many decisions to make! I can’t believe it…no, of course I can believe it, you and Mark…Oh, Margie, I’m so excited for you!”
“You better help me out, Ellie.” Margaret directed her friend in a serious tone. “You’ve had a baby so you know what’s coming!”
Ellie nodded. “Yes, I will help you, of course, my dear. You will need all kinds of things for your baby, like a crib and you’ll have to clean out one of those rooms in the back where Mark’s been keeping all of his junk.”
“It’s amazing how much junk he has.” Margaret said. “I don’t know where he collects all those things.”
“Probably from his track. Sometimes people don’t have the money to pay him. I’m kind of surprised that he even has anything left from the money he’s lost.”
Margaret stopped walking and looked at her friend. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t know?” Ellie’s eyes opened wide. “Margie! Mark has been gambling on every race ever run at that track since it opened up. Didn’t you know that?”
Margaret felt a chill run through her. He had been gambling? Questions jumped to her mind and she felt the words tumbling from her mouth. “What money is he using to gamble? He’s been doing it for all this time and I didn’t know?”
“He hasn’t mentioned it at all?” Ellie sounded shocked. “I thought you two were so close. You looked like you fell in love with him right away. He looked the same. Why wouldn’t he tell you?”
Ellie frowned and then her face turned to one of anger. “So you don’t know that he has that stables mortgaged all the way, and that the bank is not wanting to give him any more money to cover it? He’s been running two or three races a week, haven’t you noticed? That’s way more than usual.”
Margaret felt ashamed. She hadn’t been paying attention to the racetrack side of the business at all. She had fully engrossed herself in the care of the horses, from their health to their grooming. She never thought about the money. It had been her father’s job in Virginia to run the finances.
Ellie noticed her friend’s change of mood and put her arm around her shoulders. “Margie, I don’t want to be the one to scare you this way. But you will have to do something about what’s going on if you plan to have a family with Mark.”
“How recently did he lose a lot of money?”
“Well, like I said, he keeps running races and betting on the horses so he can get the money to pay the bank loan. And some of the races he’s winning but some he’s losing. I know he’s good at finances but he’s not the best at picking horses.”
“Oh no, this is so terrible.” A wave of sadness swept over her and she felt tears come to her eyes.
Ellie shook her head and took Margaret’s small face in her hands. She looked directly at her and spoke in a firm tone. “Margie! This is no time to start acting like a little girl. I thought you knew about all of this and I actually admired how you were handling it. Now you have to show me how you really handle something like this. And you have your baby to think about, too. You have to pull yourself up and be the strong woman I’ve come to know over the past couple months!”
Margaret still felt like crying. She did want to be strong, but the thought that the business would fail and she and Mark would be left penniless, without horses or a home, made her despair. She started to walk again, her mind racing. Ellie kept up with her and just down the block, steered Margaret into a small church with a beautiful white steeple that ended with a cross way up in the air.
“We need to pray,” Ellie said.
The church was so quiet and there were candles on either side of the podium on the stage, which was only a step up from the rest of the church. There was a bench at the front of the aisle, with a red velvet cloth draped over it and a beautifully carved wooden cross standing before it.
Margaret was glad there were no crucifixes. She was not a fan of seeing her Lord and Savior in such a position. She preferred to think of him as he was after he was resurrected. She went with her friend to the podium and both of them knelt down at the same time.
Ellie began to whisper a quiet prayer. Margaret kept quiet, listening to her friend’s prayer and realizing she didn’t have to say anything, Ellie was saying all that needed to be said.
“Father God, we ask direction in this matter.” Ellie was earnest in her prayer, her voice, though whispering, was filled with emotion. “This matter has surprised my friend and she needs to come to an understanding of the situation.”
Ellie continued to pray, pointing out the many biblical trials men had gone through in the past. She thanked Him for his blessings and asked that He turn toward Margaret in a way He had never done before. She asked for continued blessings for her own family.
After about ten minutes of solid praying from Ellie, they both said “Amen” and stood up. They were quiet as they left the church, but once the door closed behind them, Ellie said, “Do you feel any better?”
Margaret nodded as they stepped out into the street to cross. “I do. But I still don’t have a clue what to do. How will I convince him to stop what he’s doing? He’s been doing that for way longer than I’ve been around. And now I’ve got another burden to put on his shoulders. What will he think of that?”
“What will he…” Ellie shook her head. “Dear, he is just as responsible for that little one as you! He better not act like a coward or a fool about it or I will have something to say to him!”
“Even if I convince him that he has to stop his gambling ways, the bank won’t listen to me, either.”
A thought ran through her head and she suddenly perked up. Ellie didn’t notice and continued to talk. “I must say, Margie, you will have to tell me his response. If you come running to my house at all hours of the night crying because he’s said something mean, I will have Jack after him before he can say boo. I will tell you that, my girl.”
Margaret giggled. Her friend was so soft on the outside and rough on the inside. And she loved her for it. She was very glad they were friends.
“Do you want me to come to the house with you or are you going to the stables?” Ellie asked. “I have to go back to the stables because Jack asked me to bring him some of the milk from home.”
Margaret frowned. “He asked you to bring milk? What for? The horses don’t drink milk.”
Ellie gave her an exasperated look. “The milk isn’t for the horses, Margie! It’s for Jack!”
They both laughed heartily.
“I’ll go with you to the stables. I want to see if Mark is there. I think we should talk.”
“Do you want me to come with you? You know, you might want to wait on talking to him about it until you figure out a plan.”
Margaret hesitated. “I don’t know. I’ll have to see when I get there. I’ll see what kind of mood he’s in. I don’t want to deal with a lot of hassle or anything. And I don’t want to get emotional in front of the men.”
“They might think you are in hysterics. When will you tell him about the baby?”
“Well, I guess I should tell him at the same time, shouldn’t I? I mean, it is the reason I found out and the reason it must be stopped.”
Ellie shook her head. “Your baby is very important. But he needs to stop because he’s going to lose everything he owns if he doesn’t.”
Margaret sighed. She couldn’t wrap her brain around the idea that everything she had been working so hard to accomplish and earn throughout the months she had been here could suddenly be taken away and she could be left with nothing. Her first thought was to run back to her father. But she couldn’t do that now, not with a
child on the way and love in her heart for the man she married.
She couldn’t believe he had been lying to her the whole time. He just hadn’t seemed like the type.
Her father was the only hope she had. She prayed she could help her husband change his ways and she prayed that her father would be able to help them with the bank. Those were her only options.
Chapter Four
The kitchen door swung shut behind Margaret, and she stood in the breezeway, watching the front door. She knew Mark would come through any moment and she was mentally preparing herself for what she wanted to say.
She had spent the last day or so with Jack, at Ellie’s request, and he had filled her in on the track and the debts that Mark had built up. It was true that he had a problem. It wasn’t just the betting, it was the fact that he wasn’t very good at it and wouldn’t let anyone pick horses for him. He always insisted that he would get the right one and he rarely did. When his horse won a race, he was elated, using the win to justify the losses. And it was never enough, certainly not enough to pay the bills they had looming over their heads.
The house was in jeopardy, the horses were in jeopardy, and the stables were in jeopardy. They really could lose it all. She thought about her growing baby and what they would need to do to prepare for it. It was a scary thing. She was older than most of the women who were giving birth. By the time those women were her age, they were on their second or even third child. Doctor Joe had warned her that it could pose a problem but not to worry too much about it.
Jack had given her copies of the papers Mark had signed when he bet everything he had and started in on the property. He gave her the financial documents that she needed to understand how much was owed and when it was due by.
Her heart thumped as she waited for Mark to come in. She’d heard the wagon pull up some time ago and knew that he had to be about done settling in the horses for the night. So she stood there and waited, her mind racing with anxious thoughts just as quickly as her heart beat in her chest.
The door squeaked when Mark pushed it open. He took a few steps inside, saw her standing there and stopped to stare at her.
“What is that look?” He asked, his voice tense. She assumed he could tell that she knew what was going on. Only a guilty man could have a face like that. And she had grown to know his expressions fairly well over the last few months. He was open with his feelings.
Or at least she had thought so.
Could she trust him now?
“Mark, we have to talk about what’s going on. You need to know something.”
“What do you mean ‘what’s going on’? You tell me what’s going on.”
She lifted one hand to show him some of the papers she had gripped in her fingers. “We owe everything to the bank, Mark. We’re going to lose everything you’ve built up here!”
Mark nodded. “I’m glad you said everything I’ve built up here. This is my house and that’s my stables, you need to remember that.”
“Mark, it’s not going to be yours or mine or anyone’s but the bank’s in a short time, maybe just a few weeks! You didn’t tell me you were going through this when you brought me here!”
“Well, I wasn’t about to tell someone I didn’t even know about issues I might be having with my finances.”
Margaret struggled to hold in her emotions. She had been thrilled all the way up until this morning, loving her new life with the horses and a husband. She thought was happy and content. “Oh Mark!” She turned away and quickly prayed for strength and guidance. She turned back to look at him. “Mark, you were quick enough to bring me here and marry me and take me to your bed. You have been to church with me every Sunday. You have prayed with me! How can you not tell me that you are struggling with gambling?”
“I’m not struggling with it!” Mark reached down and yanked off one of his boots. He angrily pulled the other one off and moved to go past her into the kitchen. “It looks like you’re the one who’s struggling with it. If you don’t like it, well, I guess you can just go back to Virginia!”
For a moment, Margaret was devastated. She had fallen in love with Mark and didn’t want to lose the family she had longed for because of this problem.
“No, Mark!” She followed him into the kitchen. She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was ashamed and that he didn’t mean what he said. “I don’t believe you want me to leave. I believe that you have fallen in love with me the way I have with you.”
Margaret could tell by the look he gave her that she was right. He could only glance at her and then look away, his cheeks flushing a deep red under the dark beard he had grown. His eyes looked sad.
Mark dropped himself into a chair at the table after filling a mug with hot coffee she had ready for him. She pulled one of the nearby chairs closer to him and sat in it, leaning in toward him so that she could speak softly.
“You must know something, Mark. I have news for you that might change your mind about your problem.”
“You do?” His voice was so small.
“Yes.” She took one of his hands and placed it over her stomach. “We’re going to have a baby.”
His eyes opened wide and he blinked a few times. “We are?”
“Yes.”
He stood up, pushing the chair back with his legs, looking down at her. “We are?” He repeated. His face was a mixture of emotions. She couldn’t tell if he was pleased or dismayed by the news. “I…I…”
Mark couldn’t think of the right words to say. Or simply didn’t have them.
Margaret got up and went to stand in front of him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. She felt relief to feel him hugging her back. He lowered his head and gave her a kiss on her soft blond hair.
“I’m glad we’re having a baby, Margie.” He said softly. “I haven’t known what to do about the debts for a while now. I was afraid to come to you and tell you. It all happened so soon after you arrived.”
Margaret looked up at him. “I know that you’ve been gambling for a long time but yes, it seems the worst of it happened right after I got here. You have to stop now, Mark. Do you see that?”
Mark separated from her and went to the kitchen window to stare out over the land. “I can’t now. I owe so much the only way to take care of the situation is to keep it going. I’ve been trying so hard to get the money but every time I think I’m on a streak, I start losing.”
“That’s what gambling is!” Margaret moved to stand next to him again, wanting to be close to him. She wanted to show him that she wasn’t judging him, that she loved him and that she wanted to work things out the right way. “You know that when you do something too much and it puts your money and family in jeopardy, it’s a bad thing. You can beat your problem if you just pray about it and work really hard to resist.”
Mark was quiet for a moment, continuing to look out the window. “I still can’t.” He said to her disappointment. “We can’t get out of debt without the money that comes from it.”
“We aren’t getting out of debt that way, Mark, it hasn’t happened yet, what makes you think it will?”
“Things will change. I’ll start getting a lot of winners and…”
Margaret violently shook her head, putting one hand gently on his arm. “No, Mark! You have to stop. I believe I can get my father to help us get out of debt with the bank. Then, we can…”
“I’m not taking money from your father!” Mark said vehemently and walked back to the table to pick up his cup of coffee. He held it for a moment, looking at it and then shook his head, setting it back down. “No, I just can’t do that!”
“Mark, you have to think about our baby! You have to think about me! Don’t you love me?”
Mark looked at her with passionate eyes. He was obvious with his love and had let everyone he worked with know about it. He had made her feel like queen of the castle since her arrival. It was one of the reasons she couldn’t believe he had been hiding this from her.
Then aga
in, when she thought about it, she understood, as well. He had fallen in love with her and then been too ashamed to admit his problem.
“Yes, I love you, Margie.”
She went to him again and he pulled her into a hug this time. “I have faith that we can get through this, Mark. I have been praying and I just know that God is going to come through for us. But you have to pray, too. You have to really believe that he will help you stop what you are doing.”
“How can I be a man and ask your father to bail me out of my debts? I am the one who sent for you! I promised him, even though I never told him, that I would take care of his daughter. I know how much you love and respect him. How can you love and respect me after I do something like this to your father?”
“You haven’t done anything to my father. If you refuse to let him help us, then you will really be doing something to him. You’ll be putting the safety of his only daughter in jeopardy. He would be very angry at you for that.”
“He would, wouldn’t he?”
“Yes, he certainly would! And our baby! His grandchild. He would be very, very angry.”
“But we need a substantial sum.”
“It won’t matter. The only thing that will matter is that when we have paid what we owe and begin paying my father his money back, you don’t gamble it away. Do you think you can break your habit?”
She rubbed his arm and looked up into his eyes. He was blinking and refusing to look at her.
“Mark, please. Please tell me you love me enough…and love our baby enough to do this for us.”
“I want to, Margie. I do love you and our baby.”
“We will keep praying about it. My papa will help us through this and then we will start again. From the beginning if we have to. But at least we will have our horses and our home.”
“And our baby.”
“Yes.” She smiled wide and he matched it.
“It’s so wonderful to think that we will have a little boy or girl here next year. I hope it looks like you.”