The baby woke up and began to sniffle, so Thea expertly scooped her up and cuddled her to her chest, making soothing noises as she gently rocked her. Gazing down, she noticed the milk stain on her top and raged in exasperation. ‘What the hell is the matter with me? I’m lusting after a slice of cake while my breasts have a mind of their own and are ready to combust with enough milk to flood this shop. This is Florence, by the way.’ She held up the now wide-awake child who batted her lashes at her mother and decided she was really hungry now that she could smell her breakfast.
Thea darted a look around to see if anyone was going to start screaming the place down if she fed her child in public and sighed in relief that no one was taking the slightest bit of interest. Thea hastily unlatched her nursing bra, settling Flo to her nipple with minimal fuss. Once she was organised, Skye slid a plate across in front of Thea and she grabbed a fork with her free hand and stabbed a piece of cake, stuffing it into her mouth and sighing in sheer ecstasy.
Skye followed suit and they both shared a conspiratorial smile at how delicious and disgustingly naughty the combination of coffee and sugar was. ‘Bliss!’ sighed Skye, looking fondly at the happy baby before grimacing. ‘I remember how many times I tried to feed my own son this way. I sweated it out for so many weeks, but failed miserably and had to give up in the end. My nipples felt like razor blades and there never seemed to be enough milk for Leo,’ she berated herself, ‘but the midwife assured me I was latching him on correctly, so I had to accept that and stop moaning.’
Thea noticed that Skye had gone quiet and was gazing off into the distance so she gently turned Flo round to wind her, while hoisting her top back into place.
‘Thanks for helping me out,’ she said.
‘You’re welcome,’ smiled Skye. Thea could see she was trying to brighten her mood and not let the tears that were glistening in her eyes show. Thea frowned as Skye was pressing her unpainted nails into her palms, hard. It looked like the trick worked, as she winced and straightened her back before the tears fell.
‘What would you have done if I hadn’t come along?’ asked Skye.
‘I would have stayed all night rather than tell that snotty-nosed cow that the dress was too tight,’ said Thea, trying not to laugh out loud as the vision of the rocking cubicle came to mind.
‘She was watching my every move,’ said Skye. ‘She saw me pick up the red dress.’
‘You managed to hide it from her pretty quickly though,’ said Thea. ‘Remarkably fast reflexes!’
‘I move like a panther,’ joked Skye in a sexy French accent, before stuffing another huge forkful of cake into her mouth and rolling her eyes theatrically.
I bet you do! thought Thea. There was something strange about Skye. Years of doing her job had taught her about the nuances of a person’s personality. The woman sitting opposite her was outwardly relaxed, but the way she had scoped the room when they entered the coffee shop and managed to grab the table they were sitting at, right under the noses of a group of boisterous teenagers, roused her suspicions. When Skye had arrived at the school, Thea had put her name into an internet search engine. Everyone had photos online these days, but until two years ago, Skye and Leo didn’t seem to have existed. Either she was mightily private and kept off social media, or something had changed for her then.
Chapter Four
Skye pushed open the door to her little cottage and grinned to herself at the sight of the comfortable furniture and the few trinkets she had started to put around the place. The owner of the cottage had great taste and had picked the style that Skye would have chosen herself. The kitchen was modern, with sleek surfaces, but the couches were squidgy and comfortable. There were no frills and flowers, which you might expect from a period building. The mood inside was warm and welcoming, but functional, and the owner had made efficient use of space too. Skye particularly loved the hidden ironing board, which slid gracefully from a drawer in the kitchen, and the American style fridge, which was tucked under a beam next to the oven. She would have to decide soon if this was the place for them to put down roots. Renting a cottage on the edge of the village was okay for now, but she was already starting to like this place and she was fully aware that she couldn’t put off making a permanent base forever. It wasn’t fair on Leo and it was a pretty solitary life for her too.
Though there were many areas of her life that she controlled seamlessly, once her little bundle of joy had arrived, he obliterated her defences and managed to drive her insane trying to do the right thing by him. She thought back to her earlier conversation with Thea about breastfeeding. In the end, the midwife had put a stop to it and arrived with a bag full of formula tins before Skye wore herself out any more. Leo only had to get so much as a sniffle and Skye blamed herself for not feeding him correctly when he was a newborn. For a normally strong, sane female, she could be pretty daft about some things. She knew it was irrational and that millions of children survived perfectly well on formula milk. She had fed him herself for the first two months, so he had got some immunity from her, and she’d just lost her husband so she had been a complete mental and physical wreck. Maybe she should cut herself some slack, she decided finally.
Skye loved her son, but she was sure she had been a saner person with more brain cells before he erupted into her life. He was just like his father, a bundle of excitable energy. Leo’s birth had been a difficult one, not the calm division of labour she had planned, with Reece taking some of the responsibility by feeding her sweets and massaging her back and feet. She had decided to forgo pain relief in the belief that she would push once or twice and a perfectly behaved baby would emerge. Then she would sit up, she had thought, have a sugary tea, lovingly prepared by her husband, and go back to work.
As it turned out, the birth had been emotionally draining for all of them. It had been a breech position until the last minute when, typically of strong-willed Leo, he changed his mind and decided he would turn round and come out. The problem was that, in turning, he caught the umbilical cord around his neck and the assisted birth that followed included two epidurals and a ventouse hose thingy. When Leo finally arrived, twenty-four hours later, every surface of the birthing room had been splattered with blood as the ventouse slipped from his head with a resounding crack and Skye had screamed, thinking everyone was dead! By the time she had come round after passing out, and saw her son sleeping peacefully in her husband’s arms, the previous day of hell was immediately forgotten as she fell head over heels in love again.
The day Leo was born had made Skye quake in her boots, but if it meant another Leo in the world, then she would do it all over again in a heartbeat. She had never met anyone so astute, loving and sensitive. Not since his dad anyway. They were like two peas snuggled up together in a little green pod and she missed him terribly.
Walking into the kitchen with a tired sigh, Skye reminisced about that day’s events and how poor Thea had been struggling to get out of that hideous dress. It wasn’t really that the dress was the wrong size either, she decided; it was completely the wrong shape for a new mum with mammoth breasts that were like armed missiles ready to explode with milk at any moment. If Thea gave it a few months and lots of brisk walks with that stylish pram of hers, then Skye thought that she would more than fit into the pretty purple dress Skye had seen in the boutique window. The colour complemented Thea’s eyes and the neckline scooped down across the chest in soft layers of silk and tapered beautifully at the waist into an A-line skirt.
Skye hadn’t discovered that much about Thea over coffee, other than her daughter’s name and the fact that she looked after her very bossy sister’s daughter during the day. She had a feeling that Thea’s heart had been broken. She didn’t wear a wedding or engagement ring, not that it meant as much these days. People often got married and didn’t wear rings, or lived together without wanting to get married.
Studying the simple gold band on her own finger, Skye felt tears scratch the back of her eyes. She hastily brushed them
away and walked into the kitchen to unpack the shopping she’d collected from the little supermarket at the end of the lane on her way home. The cottage was only a short walk from the village, but tucked far enough away from the main roads to give some privacy and avoid the gossip she assumed went with living in a small town. A woman like her arriving on her own with a young son was bound to create all sorts of rumours sooner or later. Thea seemed to be on her own and Skye hadn’t heard any gossip about her, although Skye didn’t exactly ingratiate herself with the other school mums by standing on her own and scowling at the pavement most of the time. Maybe she should make more of an effort if she did decide to stay here. No one was looking for her and the parents at the school probably had better things to worry about than the lanky woman who always dressed in dark colours and looked like she had been slapped in the face by a wet fish.
Skye began to unpack the shopping and frowned when she saw movement in the fields behind the cottage. Her body immediately tensed and her eyes strained to see what was hiding behind the tree she had singled out. She picked up a sharp knife, kept in a locked box above the kitchen cabinet, that she had brought down to clean before she went out. The handle felt familiar and she released it slightly so that it was resting perfectly in her palm, ready to throw. She moved adeptly to the side of the window, never taking her eyes from the tree, then sighed in frustration at her own paranoia as a broad-shouldered man stepped into the daylight and bent to pick up something from the forest floor. A flutter of… she didn’t really know what, began in her stomach. It was totally inappropriate to stare, but the man was half-naked! His arm and chest muscles shone in the morning sunlight and the taut backside, lovingly encased in jeans, made her mouth go dry and her pulse start to race. Moving quickly to the draining board, Skye grabbed a glass to fill up from the sink. She turned the tap to cold and, as the water burst from the pipes, she felt compelled to check if the man might need any assistance. She found herself scanning the field to find him again.
When Skye had spoken to the owner of the huge estate that included her cottage, he had assured her that she would have complete privacy here. He’d said the cottage had been recently refurbished and backed onto the estate wood and fields, which it did, but he’d also said that no one used the fields behind her garden, as you could go via the village road to get to the main house. He had also mentioned that the cottage was fairly isolated from other people, except for those who occupied the main house. Skye had explained to the owner that she was a reclusive author who couldn’t concentrate with everyday distractions and that this suited her perfectly. He’d seemed happy enough with this and she hadn’t enlightened him further. Her references checked out, they always did, and as she had paid six months’ rent in advance, the owner had probably decided to take the money and quit while he was ahead. He’d obviously popped over to check on her and Leo the previous week, but fortunately they had been out. Skye knew someone had been in the cottage the minute she stepped over the threshold, but a neatly scrawled note stuck to the fridge explained that he had stopped by to introduce himself and to make sure everything was sufficient for them and that he was sorry to have missed her. He also apologised for letting himself in, but he had needed to check that the fire alarms were in order, which they were.
Skye really didn’t like the idea of someone else having a key to her house but, until she decided to buy somewhere, there was not much she could do about it. It was his property, but she trusted that he wouldn’t come in uninvited again. She hoped not, as she might mistake him for a burglar and accidentally break his neck.
She had assumed from his voice when they had spoken on the phone that the owner was of retirement age and a bit of a toff, as he was well spoken and lived in the huge estate they had passed on the road to the cottage. From her old job she knew that wealth could come from anywhere, but the house looked like a family home that had been passed down through the generations. She berated herself for not looking into it. That was slapdash of her. She usually checked every last detail, but had missed that vital one. She had been exhausted from months of meticulously planning her next move, and had then changed her mind completely at the last minute, on a whim. She knew she could never go back to her old life, after what it had done to her. She just needed to accept that and start being a bit more responsible.
She wondered idly who the mystery man in the wood was. His body language had been completely relaxed, so he didn’t know he was being watched and wasn’t looking for her. Maybe he was a groundsman or a grandchild of Mr Travis, the owner of the estate? Skye sipped her water thoughtfully and her body felt heavy, suddenly, as sadness engulfed her. She hadn’t reacted physically to a man for such a long time. She could certainly pretend to be attracted to someone and it used to come in very handy for her old job, but the real thing? She had thought that part of her had died with Reece.
Eventually, Skye began to open cupboards and stack her groceries away with her usual efficiency, all food types together and nothing that would go to waste. She was used to packing up and leaving at a moment’s notice and the habits were ingrained. Leo sometimes complained that they never had piles of snacks in the ‘goodie’ drawer she kept in the kitchen, just a few bags of crisps and some biscuits. That was enough for one child as far as she was concerned, but if they did stay here, maybe she would relax her routine a little.
She quickly finished cleaning her knife and locked it away again. She would have to learn to chill out a bit and be a little outrageous once in a while, instead of letting her training control her life. Skye used to have so much fun with her friends and family when she was growing up, and felt guilty that she had stayed away from them for so long, but she had felt it was safer that way. She vowed to leave her knives alone and take a leaf out of Thea’s book. Maybe she should buy a dress like the red one and go to a party or two?
Skye’s usual attire consisted of skinny black jeans, black T-shirts and clumpy boots. It wasn’t because of her line of work either, as she had worn all sorts of outfits there and had often added a splash of colour before, but since Reece had gone, she wore black to symbolise her loss. No one else would realise what it was for, but she mourned him every day. Perhaps it was time to let a bit of colour back into her life, let down her guard a little and make some new friends, like Thea? She could always launch herself into the rugby scrum of mums and shock the hell out of them. That probably wasn’t the best way to make a good impression though. She didn’t really think they were her kind of people either. For a start, they all dressed the same; secondly, they were too groomed and expensive-looking for her. She was lanky and messy, and not glossy enough to fit in. Perhaps if she bothered to slap on some make-up and brushed her hair every day it would help?
Skye thought back to all the times she had been draped in expensive silk and dripping in diamonds for work, and the memory was like a thousand knives in her heart. She had loved her job and her husband, but she couldn’t keep dwelling on the past. Life was here to enjoy and her precious son was starting to crave some stability. She couldn’t keep dragging him all over the world any more while she ran from her demons. Leo’s happiness was her priority, and it was about time she started to live again.
Chapter Five
Thea sat on the low wall, which ran around the school entrance and up to the playground, rocking Flo in her pram. The baby grumbled slightly before falling into a dreamless sleep. Thea wished that she could get some sleep herself but, between coping with a baby on her own, and the recurring nightmare she had about her boyfriend and his boss, Laura, in bed together, she felt that her eyelids were sprinkled with sawdust and her nose was the colour of a very ripe beetroot from crying herself to sleep at night. She really should pull herself together; after all, she practically used to run the lives of thirty-five people in her team. She was as efficient as a machine, her old boss used to joke, when she organised yet another sting operation or embedded three new people into someone else’s life. That was before Laura took over and ruined
everything.
How had she become such a loser? Thea berated herself, kicking a helpless pebble hard so that it ricocheted off the main school wall and flew up into the air. Thea cringed, waiting for the inevitable angry cry when it struck someone, but Skye reached across with lightening reflexes from where she had been leaning against the rain shelter and caught the pebble mid-air before it could do any damage. Everyone else was busy nattering away and completely missed the incident. Thea rubbed her tired eyes and wondered if she was hallucinating and imagined what had just happened.
Skye pocketed the stone and casually walked over to join Thea, sitting on the wall. ‘Bad day?’ she asked, peering into the pram and running her fingers over Flo’s soft face. ‘Does she ever wake up and cry?’ Skye joked, obviously trying to lighten the atmosphere.
Thea smiled gratefully at the change in subject, but then decided to tough it out. She would not be a wuss and avoid confrontation like she used to. If she had learned anything from her last job, it was that she didn’t need to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. If people didn’t like her, then it was their loss. She just had to keep telling herself that.
‘Thanks for catching the stone,’ Thea said bravely, watching Skye carefully.
Skye hesitated for a second, then smiled and laughed it off. ‘I thought you had something against that redhead,’ she looked towards the shy lady, sitting on her own once more, staring at the other groups of mums who were happily chatting to each other. ‘Thought I’d better head you off before you took someone’s eye out,’ she giggled, nudging Thea’s shoulder with her own.
‘Great reflexes,’ said Thea, determined not to drop the subject. Skye made her think of her old life and Thea suddenly felt her lunch rise up in her stomach in protest.
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