‘There won’t be an apartment,’ he interrupted. ‘Jo, you’re going home.’
His words made no sense. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Our wedding is off. You and Toby are going back England.’
No. They still made no sense.
‘What are you talking about?’ she repeated.
He lifted his gaze to meet hers. Unlike the stunned incomprehension that must be clear in her eyes, in his there was nothing. Nothing at all.
‘I was wrong to insist on marriage. You conceived a child with Theo the engineer, not Theseus the Prince. None of this was your doing. I’m the one who lied about my identity and made it impossible for you to find me. For me to ask you to give up the rest of your life after all the sacrifices you’ve already made... I can’t do it.’ He kneaded his forehead with his knuckles. ‘I’ve caused enough damage. I won’t be a party to any more. You deserve the freedom to live your life as you want, not in a way that’s dictated and forced on you.’
‘Where has this come from?’ she asked hoarsely. ‘I don’t understand. Have I done something wrong?’
‘No.’ He laughed without humour. ‘You’ve done everything right. It’s me who’s done everything wrong, and now I’m putting it right.’
‘But what about Toby?’
‘Toby needs to be with you. I will recognise him as my son. He can come here for holidays. I’ll visit whenever I can. We can video call.’
‘You wanted to be a real father to him. You can’t have a hug with a computer. It isn’t the same—it just isn’t.’ She knew she was gabbling but she couldn’t control it. ‘Toby needs you. Wherever you are is where he’ll be happy—whether it’s here or in England.
‘My wealth is mine to do with as I like while I’m alive.’ He dug a hand into his pocket and pulled out a folded envelope. ‘Here. It’s a cheque. Maintenance for the past five years...for when you had to struggle alone.’
She took it automatically, having hardly heard him. Her head was cold and reeling. She thought she might be sick.
This had to be a joke. It couldn’t be anything else.
‘I’ll buy you a house,’ he continued. ‘Choose whatever you like, wherever you like. There will be further maintenance too, and I’ll make investments and open accounts in Toby’s name...’
On and on he went, but his words were just noise.
Panic, the like of which she’d never known—not even during the night when he’d learned about Toby—clawed at her with talons so deep they cut through to the bone.
‘But you wanted Toby to be your heir...’ She was clutching at straws, her pride very much smothered in her stark shock. ‘If you want to get rid of me we can marry and then Toby and I can move back to England. We don’t have to live under the same roof unless your constitution demands it.’
He shook his head. ‘What if you meet another man and want to marry him?’
‘Meet another man?’ Now her voice rose to a high pitch. ‘How can I ever do that? You’re the only man—don’t you see that? It’s only ever been you. I love you.’
His face paled and a pulse throbbed at his temple. ‘I never asked for your love. I told you to keep your heart closed.’
‘Do you think I had a choice?’ Her whole body shook, fury and anguish and terror all circling inside her, smashing her heart. She wanted to lash out at him so badly, to inflict on him the pain he was wreaking on her.
Theseus jumped to his feet, gripping on to the edge of the table as he leaned over. ‘Love does not equate to happiness. My mother loved my father and all he gave her was misery. I can’t make you happy. Maybe for a few weeks or a few months—but what then? What happens when you wake one day with a hole of discontent in your stomach so wide that nothing can ever fill it? When the reality of your life hits you and you understand that this is all there is and all there will ever be?’
‘But why is that all there will be?’
And as she shouted the words understanding hit her.
‘Haven’t you punished yourself enough?’ she demanded, lowering her voice. ‘You’ve spent years making amends for the times when you were less than dutiful—do you really have to sacrifice the rest of your life too?’
With lightning-quick reflexes Theseus grabbed the jug of juice and hurled it. It flew through the air and landed with an enormous splash in the middle of the swimming pool.
She had never seen him so full of fury, not even when he’d learned about Toby.
‘Do not speak as if you know anything. My grandparents made more sacrifices than I could make if I lived to be a thousand years old. My grandmother loved me, but I was such a selfish bastard I wasn’t even there to say goodbye.’
‘What...?’
‘I was too late. By the time I got home she’d already died.’
Her hands flew to her cheeks, wretchedness for him—for her—raging through her. He’d been so desperate to get back to her. ‘Please...you can’t blame yourself for that. You tried...’
‘Yes, I can—and I do. If I’d taken my phone with me when I went climbing, Helios would have reached me sooner and I would have had three extra days to get home. Dammit, she was asking for me.’
‘It wasn’t your fault.’
‘Wherever the fault lies, the result is the same—I failed her when she needed me. I made a vow that as I failed to honour her in life I would honour her in death, and honour my grandfather in the manner I should have done from when I was old enough to know better. This is who I am. It’s who I was born to be and who I will be for the rest of my life. I am a prince of Agon, and if we marry you’ll be my wife—a princess. All the freedoms you take for granted will be gone. I will not do that to you. I know the cost, and I will not allow you to pay it.’
Loud silence rang out. Even the birds had stopped chirping.
On jelly-like legs, Jo rose. ‘There’s nothing wrong with wanting your freedom. You can have it still. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. The happiness you had when you travelled the world and the happiness we’ve shared here, in this villa—’
He cut her off. ‘Your time here hasn’t been real, you know that. I saw your reaction to the number of staff you’d need to employ, the schedule you’d have to follow. And that’s only the beginning. It will swallow you up and spit you out.’
Despite the harshness of his tone, there was something in his eyes that gave her the courage to fight on.
‘My feelings for you are real. I’m not a precious flower, ready to wilt at the first sign of pressure. Don’t you see? You’ve made me strong enough to bloom. Meeting you all those years ago... Theo, you made me feel as if I was actually worth something. Even here, even during the days when you hated me, you still made me feel like a woman deserving of desire and affection in her own right.’
It was the wrong thing to say. His eyes turned into two black blocks of ice.
His voice was every bit as cold. ‘When are you going to understand? I am not Theo. The man you love is dead.’
‘No.’ She shook her head desperately and gave a last roll of the dice. ‘No. Theo’s still there. He’s a part of you.’
But she might as well have been talking to the leaves on the trees.
‘Nikos will be here in a couple of hours to take you to the airport,’ he said, turning away from her and heading back to the villa.
No, no, no, no, no. It couldn’t be over.
But the stiffness in his frame told her that it was.
He stepped through the patio doors without looking back.
* * *
Was it possible to hear someone’s heart breaking?
Theseus sat with Talos, discussing a new company he’d discovered that had the potential to be a good investment, but all he could think about was Jo.
He had the impression Talos was only
half paying attention too. He’d announced his engagement to his beautiful violinist and it was clear his mind was on how quickly he could get back to her. And Helios had stayed at their meeting for all of five minutes before staggering out, saying he had stuff to do.
Even in the depths of his own misery Theseus could see something was badly wrong with his elder brother. Usually it was Helios who was the sunniest of the three Kalliakis brothers, while Talos normally walked around with a demeanour akin to that of a bear with a sore head. The switch between them would have been startling if Theseus had been able to summon the energy to care.
He’d assumed Jo would be happy to leave, that once it sank in that she had her freedom back she would grab Toby and speed away to the airport, singing, ‘Freedom!’ at the top of her voice.
She’d been like a wounded animal.
There he’d been, giving her a way out, handing it to her on a plate, and she’d refused to take it. He’d had to force it.
She’d said she loved him.
How could she love him? It wasn’t possible. He’d done nothing to earn it, nothing to deserve it. He’d lied to her, impregnated her... Yes, she’d lied about being on the pill, but if he’d had his wits about him he would have seen her inexperience and not used her for his own selfish needs. He’d forced her to give up the job she loved, to give up everything, and she said she loved him?
Theos, he missed her. He missed her sunny smile at breakfast. He missed resting his head on her breasts while she stroked his hair.
‘What is wrong with you?’ Talos demanded, breaking through his thoughts.
‘Nothing.’
‘Well, your “nothing” is getting on my nerves.’
‘Sorry.’
Talos shook his head with incredulity. ‘Get up.’
‘What?’
‘Get up. You’re coming to my gym. You need to work your “nothing” out. You’re no good for anything with your head in Oxford.’
Theseus jumped to his feet. ‘What would you know about it?’ he snarled.
Talos folded his arms and fixed him with his stare. ‘More than you think.’
* * *
Her coffee had gone cold.
Oh, well, it was disgusting anyway.
The coffee Theseus’s staff served had ruined her palate for anything else.
At least it was only her taste buds. It wasn’t as if the coffee had ruined everything else. No, Theseus had done that all on his own.
She’d been back in England for a week. A whole week. One hundred and sixty-eight interminably long hours, spent doing little other than trying not to wallow in front of Toby.
His preschool had taken him back with open arms so she had a few hours each day in which to bawl and rant and punch pillows. He was a resilient little thing, and his resilience had been helped when her landlady had let them move straight back in as she’d not yet relet their flat.
It was as if they’d never left England in the first place.
Their whole time on Agon might as well have been a dream.
Except no dream would have had her waking with cramping in her chest and awful flu-like symptoms.
She was thankful she’d never told Toby they were moving permanently to Agon. She’d figured it was best to just take things one day at a time. Having achieved his dream of meeting the King—his great-grandfather—and with the promise that he could go back and visit his daddy soon, he’d been happy to return to England and see his friends and his aunt, uncle and cousin.
At a loss for what to do, she stood at the window and looked out over the bustling street below. All those people going somewhere in the miserable spring drizzle.
Pressing her cheek against the cold glass, she closed her eyes.
What was he doing right now? Who was he with?
Did he miss Toby?
Did he miss her?
Did he even think about her?
She brushed away another tear, wondering when they would dry up. So many pathetic tears...
She had battled too hard in her life to be a victim.
If Theo didn’t love her, then there was nothing she could do about it. All she could do was pull herself up and carry on.
But she felt so cold.
She would give anything to feel some warmth.
* * *
Theseus sat in his grandfather’s study, ostensibly studying the chessboard while waiting for his grandfather to make his move. Yet his mind was far from the intricately carved black and white pieces before him. It was thousands of miles away. In Oxford. Where it had been for well over a week now.
‘Are you going to make your move?’
He blinked rapidly, snapping himself out of the trance he’d fallen into.
His grandfather was staring at him, concern on his aged face.
It was the first game of chess they’d played since the Gala. Since he’d sent Jo away. He’d made a brief visit to his grandfather to inform him that the engagement was off and that Jo and Toby would be returning to England. He’d braced himself for a barrage of questions but none had come forth. His announcement had been met with a slow nod and the words, ‘You’re a grown man. You know what’s best for you and your family.’
Theseus moved his Bishop, realising too late he’d left his Queen exposed.
‘It will get better,’ his grandfather said.
Instead of denying that there was anything to improve, Theseus shook his head. ‘Will it?’
His grandfather’s eyes drilled into him. ‘Can it get any worse?’
‘No.’
But of course it could get worse. One day Toby—who now had his own phone, on which he could have face-to-face conversations with him at any time he liked—would casually mention a new uncle.
It wouldn’t happen soon. Jo wasn’t the kind of woman to jump out of one man’s bed and straight into another...
He closed his eyes, waiting for the lance of pain imagining her with another man would bring. It didn’t come. The picture wouldn’t form. His brain simply could not conjure up an image of Jo with someone else.
She’d said there had been no other. She’d been a virgin when she had met him. He remained her only lover.
It suddenly occurred to him that she’d been his last lover too.
There had been no one but her since Illya.
‘Do I understand that you finally gave her the choice of whether or not to marry you and she chose the latter?’ his grandfather asked, studying the board before them.
Theseus swallowed. ‘No. I set her free.’
‘Did she want to be set free?’
He paused before answering truthfully, ‘No.’
His grandfather’s finger rested on his castle. ‘You took away her choice in the matter?’
‘For her own good.’
The watery eyes sharpened. ‘People should make their own choices.’
‘Even if they’re the wrong ones?’
‘I thought your grandmother was the wrong choice for me,’ his grandfather said lightly, after a small pause. ‘She was born a princess, but I thought her too independent-minded to cope with being a queen. If I’d been given the choice I would have chosen someone else—and that would have been the wrong choice. We complemented each other, despite our differences. She gave me a fresh perspective on life.’
A twinkle came into his grandfather’s eyes.
‘She understood your struggles and helped me to understand them too. She was a queen in every way, and I thanked God every day of our life together that the choice had been taken out of my hands, because I would never have found the love we shared with anyone else.’
Theseus rubbed the nape of his neck, breathing heavily.
There was that word again. Love.
He�
�d loved his parents, but they’d died before he’d had the chance to know them properly. Losing them, especially losing his mother, had smashed his heart into pieces.
He’d loved his grandmother. Her death had smashed the pieces that had been left of his heart.
He looked at his grandfather, spears of pain lancing him at the knowledge that soon he would be gone too.
He thought of Jo—her sweet smiling face, her soft skin, her gentle touch. Her sharp tongue when it came to protecting their son.
Theos, if anything were to happen to her...
It would kill him.
And as this realisation hit him his grandfather slid his Castle to Theseus’s Queen and knocked it over.
‘Your Queen is the heart of your game both in chess and in life,’ his grandfather said quietly. ‘Without her by your side your game will be poorer. Without her by your side...’ His eyes glistened with a sudden burst of ferocity as he growled, ‘Checkmate.’
* * *
There was a light knock on the door and then Nikos entered.
‘You said to tell you if anything significant occurred.’ He handed Theseus a piece of paper and left.
Theseus read it quickly. Then he read it again.
A ray of warmth broke through the chill that had lived in his veins for these past ten days. It trickled through him, lightly at first, then expanded until every single part of him was suffused with it.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
JO SLIPPED HER brown leather flip-flops off and dangled them from a finger, letting her toes sink into the warm Illyan sand.
She tilted her head back and breathed in the salty scent, feeling the light breeze play on her skin.
She stood there for ages, soaking it all in. There was no rush. No need to be anywhere or do anything.
There was only one place she wanted to visit.
She walked along the shore, the cool lapping waves bouncing over her feet and sinking between her toes, the May sun bright and inviting and heating her skin, driving out the coldness that had been in her bones since she’d left Agon a fortnight ago.
Theseus Discovers His Heir Page 16