She was reluctant to broach the subject of finances with Xavier because he seemed unconcerned, but money matters were weighing her down. She didn't want to have to beg any of her relatives or friends for help. She had a funny feeling that her father would get wind of it and she didn't want him to smugly sit back and wait for her to come running back.
She had not had contact with anybody since she married Xavier, but it was time she came out of hiding. She had to pull her weight in the house. She had to prove to herself that she was not just the pretty socialite with the Knight name. It was time to start living.
She got up and bathed in the cold water and was dressed in one of her favorite brown suits when Xavier woke up. No matter how she tried for the past couple of days, she couldn't get used to the cold water.
Xavier stepped into the hall in only his boxers and Farrah swallowed. It was the first time she was seeing his lean, muscular physique without a shirt on. He was not big and bulky but she could see how hard he was. He had a well-defined six-pack. This was a far cry from the skinny guy who used to feel self-conscious whenever he swam in her parents' pool back in the day. He also didn't have a scar left over from his eczema days.
He paused when he saw her already dressed. "What's going on? Why are you up so early?" He looked at her from head to toe, admiring her brown pumps and her matching suit.
"I am going to get a job." She swallowed and hastily schooled her face as one who meant business. She struggled not to stare at his chest.
"Why?" Xavier asked, rubbing his hairless chest lazily.
"Our food is running out," Farrah said hesitantly, "and I know that we have never spoken about money or anything but my father cut me off. That means I have no access to my bank accounts."
Xavier was nodding solemnly. "So you are going to provide for us by getting a job?"
Farrah sighed. "It would not hurt if you did something too, you know. You used to be so gung-ho about computers; can't you get interested again? I still have contacts; I could find you a job in IT or something."
Xavier scratched his chin. "I am going to set up the second room as a study. My equipment is arriving today."
Farrah exhaled. "Good. Because suddenly I was thinking of things like bills and for the life of me, I don't know how we are going to pay them."
Xavier chuckled. "We don't have that many bills. I mean I can scrape together the money for the utilities."
Farrah closed her eyes. "Somehow, I don't know where I got this idea from, but I thought you were ambitious."
Xavier laughed out loud. "I am ambitious, Farrah. I got out of the ghetto, didn't I? I live here now. I was thinking of making a go with the photography business."
"Does that pay?" Farrah asked. "I mean, can we live on that?"
"You are speaking like we are a normal couple," Xavier said softly.
"Aren't we?" Farrah said, not looking at him and then picking up her bag. "Can I get the car keys, please?"
"You are going to drive the truck?" Xavier asked incredulously. "It is a rust bucket. Quite unlike what you are used to. Carson calls her his old Betsy."
"But that's what we have." Farrah grimaced. "And unfortunately I need to get off this hill. I promise to hide my face in case anyone recognizes me."
Xavier went into the room for the key and reluctantly handed them to her. His hands closed over hers. "Farrah. Do you think that we are a normal couple?"
Farrah's gaze clung to his. "We got married."
Xavier's hands tightened on hers and he stepped closer. "Because you wanted to teach your dad a lesson and you didn't want to marry Jason."
Farrah swallowed convulsively. "We live together."
Xavier was so close to her she could feel his body heat.
"But we are not really man and wife." He was staring at her intently. "And I don't want you to play with my emotions. Don't make statements like we are a normal couple, please. Because we are not."
Farrah nodded. He let her go and stepped away. Her hands were shaking where he had gripped them.
"See you later," Farrah said shakily. Xavier was having a really unnerving effect on her. She wanted to grab him in a hug and place her head on his broad chest and clutch him close to her and insist that she wanted them to be normal. She was no longer trying to teach her dad a lesson or prove her independence. She really wanted them to be together and she would have to prove it.
Chapter Eleven
"Let me get this straight," Cynth said to Farrah huffily. "You got married to Xavier?"
"Yes," Farrah said, glancing at Ruby, who was at her desk grinning.
"And you want a job in my business after you stole my man?"
"That's right," Farrah said. "I was hoping you held no ill will toward me, since Xavier didn't really know that he was your man. You guys did say that you want an extra person to work here."
Cynth growled. "I can never get a break. I liked Xavier; I was about to make a move. I even bought an outfit to wear to the church this weekend. I have been going to the gym religiously every day, working on my abs, and now this?"
Farrah bit her lip and struggled not to laugh.
"How did Jason Cavendish take your rejection?" Ruby asked Farrah as she deliberately ignored Cynth and her melodramatic declarations. "I mean you must have told him."
Farrah nodded. "I did but he was in a meeting and couldn't talk. I have a couple of missed calls from him. So I guess he's not taking it well."
"We didn't make any plans for your wedding anyway," Cynth said. "Ruby said we shouldn't.
"But why?" Farrah asked Ruby. "You didn't know what I would do."
"I had a feeling that you had more sense than to go through with a wedding that clearly you were unhappy about." Then she switched topics smoothly. "We have to get a desk in here for you, your own phone line, and we have to introduce you to some of our vendors. The pay isn't too bad, not that you would care since you are rich." She quoted a sum. "And we do profit sharing."
"Your wedding would have really been a big bonus," Cynth said grumpily, "and Xavier would have been free."
"So I am hired?" Farrah looked between Ruby and Cynth.
"Yup," Cynth said. "It has always been a done deal. We have three events this week so you are going to see firsthand what we do."
"We also have two big events coming up in September," Ruby said, handing a file to Farrah, "a charity fund raiser that the New Song band does every year for vision-impaired children and a launch for a computer software company called NorChip. The NorChip account is huge. It more than makes up for your wedding, so we are grateful. They are opening a new branch here in Jamaica and they want us to do their launch party.
Farrah nodded. "That's impressive. I have heard of NorChip. And to prove that I am not a liability, I know of at least four big events in October. I can call around and make sure that we get them as well."
Cynth grinned. "Even though you stole my guy, I am really happy you are working with us."
Ruby chuckled. "I am happy you are here too, Farrah."
*****
Xavier was in Carson's office being chewed out by his mother over the phone. "Xavier Bell, have you any idea how serious the marriage commitment is?"
"Yes Mum," he answered dutifully.
Carson was looking at him and grinning.
"You better not hurt Farrah," Delores said belligerently, "or I'll personally come to Jamaica and set you straight."
"What about her hurting me?" Xavier asked. "Eight years ago she told me I had no class, and that I was ugly, and that she couldn't marry me."
"Eight years ago she was a spoiled teenager bowing to peer pressure. That girl has always had a thing for you, from when she was a tot, and everybody who cared to know, knew it. Every other word from that girl's mouth from the day she met you was Xavier this, Xavier that. I used to fret about you two in such close proximity, especially with that crush she had on you."
"She didn't have a crush on me, Ma. Where are you getting this from? You are rewri
ting history."
Delores snorted in his ear and Carson was sitting across from him and nodding vigorously.
"Even with your crossed eyes and bad skin that girl had a crush on you. You haven't been back on the island long enough and she ditched the guy she was engaged to and proposed to you and made sure that she tied you up in marriage. Open your eyes, boy, and see what's happening."
"She laughed at me," Xavier said frowning, "at her eighteenth birthday party."
"But you gave her that bear that you had on your dresser for a present and whenever I went to her room to clean it I would see it on her side table. Let me tell you, no other gift from that party got so much attention. She was almost inconsolable when you left." Delores sounded like she was settling in for an extended revelation and Xavier clutched the phone to his ear, wishing that what she was saying were really what happened.
"She really went headlong into the party lifestyle after you left. She used to come to the kitchen every other day, wanting to find out if you called. Up until the day I left the Knights' employ, a full year later, she had been inquiring after you."
"No," Xavier said weakly. His heart was hammering with several emotions. Chief among them was hope. Could it be true?
"Yes," Delores cackled.
She is really enjoying this, Xavier thought sourly. His mother really liked to wind him up.
"Let me talk to Carson," Delores said. "I heard that Alice is pregnant?"
"She is?" Xavier looked at Carson.
"She is what?" Carson asked.
"Is Alice pregnant?" Xavier asked, handing the phone to Carson.
"Yes," Carson said, nodding vigorously. "We found out yesterday."
"How come you found out already, Ma?" Carson asked over the phone. "I haven't told anyone as yet."
Xavier tuned out their conversation and considered what his mother had said. His mother was rarely wrong, but he knew for a fact that Farrah didn't feel anything more than friendship for him.
He was the guy that always bailed her out, that was all. He was the convenient friend that she had publicly embarrassed when he had declared his feelings for her years ago. If she seemed as if she was sorry back then, maybe she was sorry about her actions toward him. Maybe her friend Alka had said something to her. Alka was the only one who didn't laugh at him or mock him.
His mind swirled with emotions and he didn't even realize that Carson was off the phone and was looking at him.
"I agree with Ma," Carson said, folding his hands before him.
Xavier jumped. "Sorry man. What?"
"I said, I agree with Ma because Farrah has called me over the years to keep in touch and she never fails to ask about you, but since you told me what she did to you I kind of always brushed her off. Ma could be right. She might have a thing for you."
"You and Ma are crazy," Xavier shook his head. "Anyway, congrats man. I am going to be an uncle again."
"Yup," Carson nodded. "I want another girl. Alice wants a boy."
Xavier chuckled. "I want a healthy niece or nephew. Speaking of nieces, where is Mia?"
"She's at summer school," Carson said. "She is having problems with Math."
"That's my area. I should find out what her problems are and lend a hand."
Carson smiled. "I am happy you are back, man. So happy."
Xavier patted his brother on the back. "I am glad I am here, as well. By the way, I am going to need a SUV."
"Finally giving me back my old truck?" Carson asked.
Xavier grinned. "No. Farrah is using it for work. I want something for myself."
Carson shook his head. "What are you doing to that girl? She used to drive a Mercedes and now you have her driving that battered truck. How are you going to explain an expensive SUV to her?"
"I have a brother who owns a garage," Xavier said. "I might not have to explain a thing."
Carson shook his head.
*****
Xavier returned home that evening and parked beside Carson's battered pickup. So Farrah was home. He took the bags of groceries out of the car and headed to the door. It swung open before he approached it and Farrah stood there in a yellow dress that hugged her slim curves in the right places. She looked sunshiny and happy and pleased with herself.
"Hi," Farrah said brightly. "You bought groceries."
"Yes," Xavier mumbled. "I always take care of my household."
Farrah grinned. "Okay."
"And since you are a part of the household for now..."
Farrah's grin faded when she heard the 'for now'; that was something she didn't want to dwell on. "I got a job."
Xavier put the bags on the countertop. "You did? So quickly?"
"Yes. I now work for Ruby and Cynth at Let’s Party. And I already called some of my friends and we have new accounts, so I have contributed already."
"Impressive," Xavier said absently. He was mulling over what his mother said to him today about Farrah liking him years ago, and he wanted to ask her if it was true.
It seemed so impossible. She was always the privileged girl, one of the beautiful people, and he had been the boy from the slums who had, as she had rightly put it, a handicap. He was the guy who had learned to read properly with her when she was six years old, for God's sake. She hadn't liked him as anything more than a friend she could talk about anything with.
His mother had it all wrong. He silently packed out the things while she stood behind him and watched.
"Remember your eighteenth birthday party?" Xavier spun around and asked.
"Oh gosh, Xavier. Why can't you let that go? I already told you, I was sorry." Farrah walked into the living room and glared at him. "You said what's past is past."
"I know," Xavier corrected hastily. "I just wanted to know, did you see the gift I left you?"
Farrah sighed and sat down in the sofa. "Yes, I saw it."
"I had bought that for your Valentine's present." Xavier leaned on the arch that separated the two rooms and was studying her intently.
Farrah took in the brown column of his throat and the hard thrust of his jaw. Her heart swelled a little. He was her old Xavier but so different now and just like then, she didn't want to explore how she really felt about him.
"I kept it. It was a cute bear with my name on it."
"In a heart, your name in a heart," Xavier emphasized. "I had to work up the courage to give it to you. I bought it and then I wrote you this soppy love letter."
"You did?" Farrah shifted on the chair. "I didn't get it with the bear."
"Because I knew we were so different and it would have been hopeless to give it to you and I didn't want to change our friendship." Xavier moved from the column and sat beside her with a sigh. "You only considered me to be your friend." He laughed dryly. "That didn't stop me from proposing to you at your birthday party, though. I was such an idiot then, but I'd like to think that I am a bit wiser now. I won't let inconvenient feelings come between us this time around, Farrah. I promise."
Farrah went rigid. "But Xavier..."
"I'll help you as long as you need this marriage," Xavier said quickly, changing the subject. "Want to watch a movie?"
"We don't have a television," Farrah said sullenly. She wanted to shake him for changing the topic so suddenly. She really wanted to know what had been in that letter. She also resented the fact that he was sounding so pious about not wanting to change their friendship.
"I bought one today." Xavier got up. "It's in the back of the car."
"Can we afford it?" Farrah asked.
"Yes, we can," Xavier said, heading for the door.
"Whose vehicle are you driving around?" Farrah followed Xavier to the door and looked outside at a navy blue SUV. It looked expensive and new.
"Carson got it for me." Xavier replied without elaborating. "You can drive it to work if you want."
"Yay, no more rust bucket for me," Farrah said without enthusiasm. What she drove didn't matter much anymore. What mattered was how Xavier felt, and obviously
he had made up his mind to keep her at arms' length.
Chapter Twelve
The rain came down in earnest at midnight and along with it, lightning and thunder. Farrah tossed and turned in the sofa bed. She hated lightning and had a real fear that the log cabin would burn after a lightning strike or collapse under the driving wind outside.
She shuddered after each bolt of lightning illuminated the living room. If the sofa bed were higher she would have probably crawled under it and covered her ears with the pillow and not come out until the lightning storm was over.
She closed her eyes tightly. She would have run to Xavier in the bedroom but earlier tonight he had given her the speech about helping her as long as she needed the marriage, and just then she realized how unfair she had been to him. She felt afresh how utterly horrible she had been to him eight years ago.
She gasped for breath under the sheet. It was wound too tightly around her head. She dragged it off impatiently and when she looked up she saw Xavier hovering over her.
"Are you okay?" he asked loudly. The rain was making such a driving sound on the roof he had to raise his voice.
"No!" Farrah squealed, "I hate lightning."
Xavier straightened up from the settee and then, as if he had made a decision, he gestured to her. "Come on, it's not as bad in the bedroom."
Farrah hesitated. He was in one of his white t-shirts and his eyes looked soft, sleepy, and innocently seductive. Her heart started an uneven beating but then a flash of lightning had her scrambling out of the sofa bed and scampering to the bedroom.
Xavier walked behind her slowly. He watched as her filmy maroon-colored negligee hugged her body and showed off a large expanse of her lean, shapely legs.
He closed the doors and then closed his eyes as a crash of thunder splintered around them. The house felt as if it shook with the noise. He was thankful that he had cut the branches off a guinep tree that was planted close to the house.
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