“She’s in her room. Go on and go up.” She figured there was no need to stress too much at this point.
He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He didn’t stop to knock. He just let himself in, and closed the door behind him. She was lying in bed on top of the covers, asleep. He could just barely hear her snoring. She was laid over on her side in the middle of the bed. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but the temptation was too great.
He went over and laid down beside her, with his chest pressed against her back. The second their bodies touched she rolled over and curled into his chest with her head resting on his arm. She was still asleep, and she was whispering something. He couldn’t make most of it out, but he knew he heard his name. He wondered if she had been dreaming about him, or if she just knew the feel and smell of him so well, she knew he had crawled in bed with her. Either thought was way too tempting for him to consider.
Those kinds of thoughts were not good for him to entertain while lying in bed with her. He had asked God to forgive him for the first time. He didn’t need to fall off the wagon again.
He brushed her forehead with the tips of his fingers, and heard her sigh. This time when she whispered, it was just his name. She knew he was there, even though she was still asleep. He ran the tip of his finger down her nose and over her cheek. Her skin was so soft, it felt like silk against his calloused hand, and he marveled at the contrast between the pale peach of her skin and the very, dark brown of his.
He knew the moment he thought it, he shouldn’t give in. He knew he needed to get up and leave the room, then knock. But as much as he knew he needed to, he knew he wasn’t going to.
He brought his fingers up under her chin, so he could reach her mouth. All he meant to do was kiss her awake. So much for good intentions. The second his mouth touched hers, he knew he was going to be in trouble. She started to respond immediately. He was wondering now if she had been pretending to be asleep. The first time he kissed her awake, she woke up a lot slower. Nothing like this time.
Her lips parted on a sigh, and his control slipped a little farther. When she brought her arm up around him, he knew she was for sure awake now. He could feel her trying to pull him closer. She parted her lips farther and ran the tip of her tongue over his bottom lip. The growl came from deep in his chest. He could feel himself losing it even more.
He reached his hand up and ran his fingers through her silky hair. He rolled her to her back and braced himself above her, making sure not to put too much of his weight on her. That was about as coherent as his thoughts could get.
He was fighting to get some of his control back, and he buried his face in the curve of her neck. That was the wrong thing to do. The scent of her skin hit him, and he lost it completely. He started running kisses up her neck and over her chin. “God Tiger, I...” All the sudden the baby kicked, surprising him, causing him to jerk back, and fall off the bed.
Her face popped over the edge of the bed. “James, are you alright?”
“If I say no, will you marry me?” He lay there looking up at her.
“James, that’s not funny.”
“Okay. If I say yes, will you marry me?”
“James, stop. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“Well, Tiger, I have to keep trying.”
The frustration finally won out, and she plopped herself back on the bed. Before the baby had kicked and he had fallen of the bed, she knew he had been about to say he loved her. Dang it. Just two more little words and she could have given in, and been the happiest person alive.
“Well, my nap is over.” She sat up and put her feet on the floor. “So, when I do marry you, will you wake me up like that all the time? It really is the most wonderful way to wake up. It wouldn’t take long for me to get used to it.” That might have been the wrong thing to ask. It pretty much told him she wanted more, and now he looked like he was going to try and start all over.
“If I said yes, would you marry me?” He had gotten up, and was now moving toward her with that look in his eyes. The one that always set her blood on fire. She didn’t think she could handle much more of his kissing right now. Marrying him wouldn’t be the only thing she’d be agreeing to. She needed to get out of this room.
She managed to move faster than he anticipated, but just barely. She just managed to make it out the door in time. She was getting slower. The farther along she got, the slower she got. One of these times, she wasn’t going to be able to out maneuver him. She hoped by then he had figured out what she really wanted.
He stood there, staring up at the ceiling, letting the door close behind her. If the baby hadn’t kicked and startled him so bad, he would have said it. It had almost slipped out. He had never come so close to telling her he loved her before.
He wasn’t sure if he was grateful or irritated. Lately, he had experienced mixed emotions a lot. He loved touching her and kissing her, but it was starting to wear on his emotional control. He was still so terrified he’d scare her off if he told her how he really felt.
Chapter 22 – Thursday, February 14
Lisa knew James would be there for dinner tonight. It was Valentine’s Day, and Mindi’s twenty-second birthday, on top of being a Thursday. They were going to have cake and ice cream after they ate dinner. He wouldn’t miss an excuse like that.
Lately every time she turned around he was there. It seemed like the closer she came to her due date, the more relentless he got. And the longer he would wait each night before he went home. She was starting to worry it might be affecting his work. She knew he was losing sleep. But apparently Luke hadn’t said anything.
He still hadn’t said he loved her, but her resolve was weakening. She wanted to blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but if she was honest with herself, it was all him. She needed his touch so much, it made her crazy when he would leave her. She didn’t think she could hold out much longer.
She was sitting at the counter on a bar stool cutting up the salad stuff when he walked in. She had her back to him, and didn’t see him walk up. He laid his hands on the counter, placing her between his arms, and leaned down and kissed her on the neck. Her pulse picked up at the touch of his lips, and she would have fallen off the stool if he hadn’t caught her. “Hey, Tiger. Careful there.”
He laid his hand on her rounded stomach, and asked, “How are you two doing today?”
“We’re good.” Her voice cracked. How was she supposed to keep resisting him when he was like this? Of course, this was one of the reasons she loved him so much. She looked at his handsome face and had to fight to hold back the tears.
“Hey, Tiger, don’t cry.” He cupped her face in his big, strong hands, and wiped a tear away with one large thumb. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. It’s just pregnancy hormones.” She got down from the stool and walked around the counter to find something to keep her busy. She decided to set the table, and went to get the plates down, but her belly was getting in the way and she couldn’t reach up high enough to get them.
“Here, let me.” She saw his dark brown hands come around her and grab the plates off the top shelf. He turned and headed for the table, and started putting them around it, in front of the chairs. She decided to get the silverware instead. At least that she could reach without his help.
Luke and Mindi walked in not too long after he did, and started helping get things ready.
When everything was ready, and they hollered for everyone to come and eat, James pulled a chair out, and looked over at her. “Here, Tiger, come on and sit down. I can get the lasagna. You look like you could use some rest.” Once again, she found herself on the verge of tears.
After he pushed her chair in, he walked back over to the stove, grabbed the pot holders off the counter and got one of the pans out of the oven. He brought it over and sat it on one end of the table, and then went back and got the other one for the other end. By the time he went to sit down beside her, everyone else had taken their seats, and
Carl was waiting to say grace. Once everyone was quiet, Carl said the prayer over the meal.
The moment he said amen, the room was filled with chatter and laughter. Everyone else’s happiness was getting to her. It was just more than she could take. She got up and walked out the back door without saying a word. She knew he would follow her, but she had to get away from all the good cheer. It just kept making her want to cry.
Sure enough, he was just a few seconds behind her. She had gone out to stand in the middle of the backyard to stare up at the sky. The sun was already sinking low in the sky. The sun set was beautiful. Too bad she didn’t feel like enjoying it.
He walked up behind her and laid his hand on her arm. “Hey Tiger, what is it?”
“I can’t tell you. If I tell you, then it doesn’t mean anything.”
“Oh, I don’t get it. I don’t see why you can’t just tell me what it is I’m doing so wrong.”
“If I tell you, then I... I’m sorry. I just can’t.”
He brought his hands up to her head, and wove his fingers in her hair. She knew what he was about to do, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop him. When his lips touched hers, she melted. It happened every time. She had thought she would get use to the feel of him, and her reaction would become less intense with time, but she had been wrong.
He groaned, and picked her up and carried her back to the porch. She heard the swing creak with their combined weight. He settled her on his lap, and started his assault on her senses anew. If he kept this up, she would give him whatever he wanted.
When he pulled her head back and started a path down her throat, she moaned and twisted, trying to get closer to his warmth. He groaned in response, and hugged her to him. “Please, marry me.” He sounded like he was almost begging.
She almost said yes, but just before it slipped out, she remembered why she couldn’t. She pulled back from him and shook her head. She was afraid to open her mouth, for fear she would give the wrong response.
He stood up and sat her down, trying to be gentle, but she could tell he was agitated. He started pacing back and forth on the porch. “Why are you doing this to me? You’re making me nuts.” He turned back toward her, throwing his hands in the air. He knew he was losing control of his mouth, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself, and he was getting louder by the second. “I’ve been in love with you ever since tenth grade. I’ve never wanted anyone else.”
All the sudden she couldn’t draw breath to speak. All she could think was, he said it. He loves me. She wanted to say it back, but her throat wasn’t cooperating with her, and her silence was making him nervous. He wasn’t sure what the look on her face meant. She looked a little dazed, and he couldn’t stop himself. He just kept going. “Are you trying to kill me? I need you so much, I’m dying inside.”
He stopped and looked her straight in the eyes. “I love you. This is making me crazy. I can’t take anymore.”
He had said too much. He had to get out of there.
By the time she had snapped out of her stunned silence, he had swung the backdoor open and had stomped through it.
*******
James walked through the kitchen, trying hard not to run. He could see everyone staring at him. Obviously, they had heard his outburst, and he felt like an idiot. For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why it looked like they were all fighting back smiles. That only made him more irritated.
He had made it across the kitchen, and swung through the doors when he heard her holler at him, “James, please stop.”
He didn’t even turn back. He just kept on going. He had to get out of there before he made a bigger fool of himself. He knew if he looked at her right then, he’d start begging her to marry him. It was obvious she didn’t feel that way for him after all. He really wanted to punch his best friend in the face for encouraging him to keep trying.
He had made it to his truck, and was propped on his hands on the hood, staring down at the ground. He felt like he was going to be sick. He heard her come out the front door, but he refused to look at her.
“James, I’ll marry you.”
His head snapped up, and he felt a moment of sheer joy. But then it dawned on him. “No, I’m not going to except a yes born of pity.”
“It’s not pity, you crazy, wonderful man. All I ever wanted, was to know for sure you loved me. I wasn’t going to trap you in a marriage you didn’t want. I’m sorry. It’s just at first, when you finally said it, I was too stunned to speak.”
He felt like his world had just been flipped upside down. But for some reason, it felt more right than it ever had before. He slowly turned his head and looked at her. Really looked at her. And saw the love that had always been there for the first time in his life. He pushed away from the truck and slowly started back across the yard. It was starting to make sense. She had always loved him. Always. He had just always let his fears get in the way of seeing it. He had convinced himself there was no way she could love him like that.
He had made it to the bottom step, and was looking up at her. “You couldn’t see it, Tiger? How much I love you. I’ve always loved you. Why else did you think I always wanted you around me? Why I could never stay away from you more than a day?”
“We’ve always been friends,” she said, shrugging her shoulders, unsure how else to respond.
“Yes, we’re friends.” He couldn’t help but laugh, the happiness he felt was bubbling up inside of him, looking for a way out. “But I always wanted so much more.”
“James, I love you, and I will marry you. That was all I wanted. To hear you say it.
He walked up the steps and picked her up. He cradled her in his arms and kissed her forehead. “I love you, Tiger. More than anything in this world. So much so, I’m likely to make you crazy with how much I’m going to be telling you now.”
“I could never hear that you love me too much. I love you more than is possible to express with words. All I’ve ever wanted from you, is to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. And children, of course.”
“Thank God. Can we do this quick?”
“How quick?” she said, unable to suppress a laugh.
“I’ll give you a month.”
“Yeah, I’m sure we can do it in a month. Just tell my mom. She’s been planning it for weeks. She started just as soon as Mindi and Luke were married.”
He laughed a deep contented laugh and kissed her on the mouth. Thank God for Jamie and her intuition.
*******
When they finally went back in the house, it was to find most of her family trying to dash back to the kitchen. They had obviously been trying to listen at the window. Her suspicions were confirmed when they walked in the kitchen and found her mom staring at the calendar, and already talking to Mindi about wedding plans. “Okay, one month. That’s March fourteenth. I wonder if he would be okay with the sixteenth. That’s a Saturday.”
“Yes, Mom, the sixteenth is fine,” James said, almost laughing. It was obvious, he wasn’t the only one excited she’d finally said yes.
“Can we hold off on wedding plans long enough to eat. I’m starving.” Now that she was sure of her future, her appetite was back. With a vengeance.
They had all got sat back down, and were eating again when Jamie asked, “James, do you want to call your mom and dad? I think this would be an acceptable time to use the phone at the table.”
“No, I want to tell them in person,” he said leaning over and kissing Lisa on the side of the head. He couldn’t help but grin, watching her eat. She hadn’t been eating very well the last few weeks. Now he could see, she had been under as much emotional strain as he had. “Hey, Tiger, I’m sorry. I was such an idiot. You don’t know how many times I almost told you I loved you. I wanted to so bad, but I had convinced myself there was no way that was what you wanted.”
“He’s not kidding. He almost told you several times. I could read it on his face. And I could read it on his face the second the fear took over and stopped hi
m every time.” Carl just gave James a grin. “Well, at least it’s all settled now.”
“Baby, what else could I have possibly wanted? Do you really think I would have ended up in bed with you to start with, if I wasn’t in love with you?” She had started glowing from the embarrassment before she had even finished her statement.
“Tiger, I thought you were just trying to wake me up, and I had caught you by surprise.” He just sat there staring down at her.
“Well, I was trying to wake you up, but if I wasn’t in love with you, I would have stopped you. I couldn’t. Well, I really didn’t want to.” Now she was really glowing. She had said way more than she would have thought she could have with everyone else around.
“James, why have you started calling her Tiger?” Tonya was looking at him, trying to puzzle it out.
James didn’t answer, but Lisa started glowing all over again. He had never told her, but she had a pretty good idea what that reason was. When he just looked down at her, grinning as he popped a piece of garlic bread in his mouth, she realized she was right.
“Tonya, I don’t think that’s for your ears,” Jamie said, turning red. “James, do you want some salad?” she asked, trying to change the subject.
“Yeah,” James said, reaching his hand out to take the bowl.
“Oh, come on. I want to know.” Tonya was never one to be easily put off. She was too much like Zane.
This time James answered her. “Tonya, that’s between Lisa and I.”
Accepting defeat, she huffed, and put a bite of lasagna in her mouth. She knew she would never get him to tell her once he made the decision not to.
“You all must have thought I was a real jerk, considering all she wanted was for me to love her.”
“No,” Carl said, sitting up straighter and looking James in the eyes. “We knew you loved her. We wanted to tell you what she wanted. She said you had to figure it out for yourself. Or, at the very least, say it accidentally.”
Oh, Baby! (The Townsends Book 2) Page 20