“Ivy?”
“How did you get in my apartment? And why are you waiting for me?”
It was his turn to look at me like I was the one out of place.
“Zane?” I snapped the same way he had at me.
“Where have you been?”
What the hell was his problem?
“No way. I don’t have to explain myself to you. But you need to tell me how you got in my house.”
“I broke in.”
“You broke in?” I screeched. Yes, I screeched. The nerve of this man.
“Technically, I didn’t. Leo did. But he picked your lock under my orders. And just to say, not that it matters for you anymore, but your locks are shit.”
“What? Why doesn’t it matter to me?” I crossed my arms over my chest. I was sick and tired of Zane’s word games.
“Because you no longer live here.”
“Get out,” I demanded. And because I had enough, I told him just that. “I’ve had enough of your bossy bullshit. You may be able to bark commands at your men and they follow blindly, but I’m not one of them. And you may be used to the women you’ve been with to bow down to the Almighty Zane and your amazing dick, but I’m not one of them either.”
“Amazing dick?” His lips twitched, but he remained seated.
“Are you hard of hearing? Get out of my house.”
“My hearing is just fine. I’m ignoring you. We’re leaving in ten minutes. I’ve been sitting my ass here for two hours waiting on you. I’m starving.”
“Two hours?”
“Yes. Ivy. Two fucking hours. Now pack your shit.”
“Sorry, friend, you have me confused with someone else. I’m not going anywhere with you. Oh, and I’m sorry you fired Donna because you’re out of a receptionist, too. Now leave. I’m done with this bullshit. You have me so on edge I thought someone was following me around the mall. And when I got home, I ran up two flights of stairs. You have my head so jacked around I’m scaring myself.”
“Wait. You went to the goddamned mall? You’re obviously not scared enough, you take your happy ass to the fucking mall and prance around without protection.”
He was sidetracking me. I didn’t want to talk about the mall, or protection. I wanted him to leave.
“I’m not in any danger. This has gone far enough. Now leave.”
“You sure as fuck are. Forester knows about you,” he continued to argue.
“Of course he does. I work for the man.”
This was fast becoming insane.
“No, he knows about you, Ivy, Joey’s sister. He’s known all along.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Is it? Because I have a hooker in lockup that says otherwise.”
“What?”
Zane spent the next thirty minutes filling me in on what Destiny… Amy, I couldn’t think of her by her street name, had told him. And in the two hours he’d been waiting for me she’d told Declan more. Forester was using hookers to sell his drugs to other prostitutes and their Johns. That didn’t surprise me, he was a scumbag. The devastating part was Joey had told him about me, and he’d used me to control her.
“It’s my fault she’s dead,” I cried.
“Don’t go there. Nothing is your fault.”
“She wanted to leave. Maybe she could’ve gotten out if he didn’t know about me.”
“I’m gonna say this once, and it’s gonna fucking hurt, so brace, baby. Joanna’s choices were hers. She chose that life. You tried to pull her out of it when she was a kid and she chose to stay in it. She could’ve gone to the police, she could’ve warned you, she could’ve chosen a different path. Bottom line is, she didn’t. Everything that happened was her fault. Not yours. And not the shit parents she had or the way she was brought up. We all have choices in life. She chose poorly and bore the consequences for those choices.”
“But she wanted out.”
“How many times did you hear that?” he asked.
A lot.
Each and every time she hit bottom and got arrested she promised that was it, she was getting help.
“I’m a sucker. I talk a big game and say, I’m done and I don’t care. But then I’d see her high out of her head or going through withdrawals and I’d cave. I’d think, this was the time she’d get clean. I wanted better for her. I thought I could want it enough for her.”
“You’re not a sucker, baby. No one likes to see family in pain. But it never mattered how much you wanted it for her. She had to want it. She had to make the choice to change.”
“Why me? Why’d I get out? What makes me any better?” I’d struggled with those questions for years.
“Because you’re stronger than she was. You took what you saw and instead of following you used it to become the strong, independent woman you are. You didn’t want that life, so you made it so you didn’t.”
“But I’m fucked up.”
“Aren’t we all?”
“No. You don’t understand. I’m a horrible person.”
Without warning, Zane had scooped me up in his arms and walked back to the couch, situating me on his lap and let me cry. It felt good to let it out. The death of my stepsister, my shit mother, the last few months following Forester. Everything had taken its toll. I was nearing my breaking point. I hated remembering my childhood; the vicious memories always gutted me.
“When I was seven, I walked into the house after school and saw my mom on the couch. The belt was still wrapped around her bicep and the needle was in her arm. I stood in the doorway and hoped she was dead.” He didn’t speak. He simply held me while I sniveled in his lap. “A short time after that, she woke me up in the middle of the night, shoving a butcher knife toward me, asking me to cut the snakes off her arms. She was having some kind of bad trip and kept screaming there were things coming out of her arms. She was bleeding and freaking out and wanted me to cut her. I prayed that time she’d bleed to death. I wanted my nightmare to be over.”
“Baby,” he whispered.
“My whole life is filled with stories like that. Sarah getting high in front of me and me wishing she were dead. What kind of person does that make me?”
“It makes you a child who wanted to survive.”
“By wishing her mother dead?”
“No, by wanting your nightmare to be over. Baby, no child should ever have to see what you’ve seen. You’re strong. You survived it and made a good life for yourself.”
I picked my head up off his chest, laughed, and gestured around the room.
“A good life? I have nothing. I’m broke. I sold everything I had so I could move to Annapolis after Joey died. The thought of Forester getting away with murdering my sister was appalling.”
“Objects and possessions don’t make a good life. You’re a good person. That’s what matters.”
“You’re not listening. I’m not a good person.”
“No. You haven’t been payin’ attention, Ivy. You’re so stuck in the past thinking about what those assholes did to you, you can’t see what I see. A strong, intelligent, beautiful woman.”
He was wrong. But there was no reason to argue with him. Suddenly I was bone tired again.
“What now?” I asked.
“Now you’re going to pack what you need. Then I’m going to feed you. Which means we’re going to order something so one of my men can pick it up and deliver it to my apartment. After we eat, we’re gonna get you settled and we’ll go from there.”
“Settled where?” I asked, afraid I already knew the answer.
“My place.”
“Zane…”
“Nonnegotiable. The asswipe knows you sought him out, applied to be his assistant, and that you’ve been following him. I will not take the chance of him getting his hands on you.”
“I was going to say thank you. As much as I hate to put you out, I’m afraid of him.”
His face softened as if he understood how hard it was for me to accept his help.
“You’re
welcome and you’re not putting me out. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”
“I’ll get some clothes.”
Before I could pull off his lap, his lips touched my forehead and I closed my eyes. How could the smallest brush of his mouth send waves of warmth over my body?
I wouldn’t know it until much later, but that moment was the beginning.
The first step toward healing.
The first time someone had reached out and offered kindness without expecting something in return. The craziest part was, because he wanted nothing from me, I wanted to give him everything.
13
Zane
Something had shifted after our talk in Ivy’s apartment. I was raw and numb all at the same time. My temper was holding on by whatever was thinner than a thread at this point. I wanted to strangle Ivy’s mother with my bare hands for what she’d done to her. I had seen a lot in my day, a lot of horrific, downright disgusting things. I knew firsthand what men were capable of, but for a mother to behave in such a manner was a whole new realm of revolting.
I’d seen the pain. I knew it was in Ivy, coiled and dormant, waiting to detonate. I’d misjudged her; she was a lot like me. Living a daily struggle, we both lived behind walls of our own making, keeping those around us at a distance. The difference was I deserved to be locked in the cage I’d built for myself; Ivy, however, needed to live in the light. She deserved happiness.
Ivy had just come back into the living room when Declan knocked on the door with our food. I opened the door and took one of the large bags from his hand.
“How’d things end with Amy?” I asked.
“Goldsborough let her go with an order to appear. It was the best he could do when she refused to turn state’s witness. She was offered protection for her testimony, but she refused. She’s scared as shit Forester will get his hands on her kid. She actually wanted charges filed in case Forester found out she was picked up; she’d have proof she hadn’t turned,” Declan informed me.
“Who’s on her now?”
“Linc. He’s taking the first shift. When I leave here, I’ll head over and relieve him so he can get home to Jasmin. I swear to God, he thinks his wife is the first woman in history to give birth. She’s gonna chop his balls off soon.”
“I told him the same thing.” I laughed.
My brother was going crazy. I was a little worried he was going to drive Jasmin to commit murder if he didn’t relax soon.
“I think it’s sweet,” Ivy chimed in. “He loves her.”
“He’s smothering her,” I told her.
“No. He’s taking care of his wife. And if you’d stop being such an ass to him you’d see it. He doesn’t want anything to happen to her or the babies.”
Was I being an ass? Probably. But Lincoln was being over-the-top with Jasmin.
“He’s acting crazy,” I informed her.
“It must be a family trait,” she snarked and put her hand on her hip. “I think I’ve called you crazy a time or two or five million.”
She had a point.
“Yeah, well, you’re in actual danger. Jasmin’s not. All she has to do is grow a couple of humans then pop them out.”
“Oh. Right. That’s all she has to do.” Ivy shook her head like I was stupid and started unloading the bags Declan and I had placed on the counter.
“One more thing. Garrett was watching the feed from the camera I planted in Forester’s office. Sarah Long, formerly Sarah Matthews, showed up today asking for Ivy,” Declan shared.
“What the fuck!”
“She walked right in and demanded to know where Ivy was,” he continued.
“Ivy or Susan?” I asked.
“Ivy.”
“Fuck! No goddamned way is that woman coming near Ivy!” I exploded.
“How did she know to find you there?” Declan asked Ivy.
“I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to her since Joey’s funeral. And before that it had been years. I don’t keep in touch with her, I promise.”
Ivy had stopped fiddling with the takeout containers and was now shaking.
“Everything will be okay,” I promised and pulled her into my arms.
Damn, she felt good pressed against my chest, her arms snaked around my back and she’d dug her nails in.
“I don’t know why she’d go there,” she semi repeated.
“It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t exist for you.” I kissed the top of Ivy’s head before turning to Declan. “Do you know where she’s staying? Her home address is in Pensacola.”
“No. I’ll call Garrett and ask him to check around. All we have is her going into Forester’s office demanding to know where Ivy is. Forester said she’d called out and Sarah stomped out.”
“Look at the shittiest motels first. She won’t have any money. More than likely she’ll need to score, too,” Ivy mumbled.
I hated this for her. Ivy had enough on her plate, she didn’t need her mother in the same airspace as her as well.
“Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about. All you need to do is get settled and eat dinner. We’ll sort the rest out.”
“I wish it were that simple. When Sarah is on the warpath, she’ll stop at nothing to get to me. She probably just needs money. I’ll give her some and she’ll be on her way.”
“The fuck you will. Does she do this a lot? Search you out and ask for money?”
“No. Not always money. Sometimes she’ll come looking for me to remind me I’m her daughter.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Declan asked, beating me to it.
“You know, she comes by my job or bangs on my door until I open it and tells me I’m nothing but a spoiled bitch who forgets where I come from. Or her favorite is to tell me I’m too big for my britches and I think I’m better than everyone else when I’m just really trash.”
What.
The.
Fuck.
“No fucking way. Get that woman out of this city. Do not give that bitch money either, but make it known she’s leaving. Take Leo with you. You tell him what she just told us, and he’ll gladly drive her back to Florida.”
“Zane. It’s fine. If I just talk to her she’ll leave. There’s no reason to put everyone out.”
“Not a chance.” That was from Declan. He was pissed. I didn’t know much about his time growing up in the foster care system, only he hadn’t had the best experiences. “I’ll handle her.”
“Appreciate it.” I gave him a chin lift before he moved to the door.
“I’ll call you later.”
I waited for him to close the door behind him before I pulled back from Ivy so I could see her face.
“Stop saying you’re putting people out. You’re not.”
“I feel like I am. And if I…”
“No. You’re not meeting with her,” I cut her off.
“I’m not comfortable with this.”
“You’re gonna have to get use to it.”
“I’m not sure that I can.”
She would. I’d make sure of it.
“Let’s eat before the food gets cold. I’m not gonna let that bitch ruin a perfectly good steak.”
Ivy’s lips twitched. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?”
I had been tossing and turning in the guest bed when there was a knock on the door. Before I could give a response, the door opened a crack.
“Zane? You awake?” Ivy whispered.
I should’ve pretended I was asleep and ignored her. But I was weak and answered.
“Yeah. What’s wrong?”
“I… I can’t sleep.”
Fuck.
I sat up and switched the lamp on and I realized I really should not have answered. Ivy was standing in the doorway in a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top that left nothing to the imagination. If the cotton material wasn’t already short enough, she had them rolled at the top. The fabric was ugly as sin, but the toned thighs they showcased looked like heaven. I wanted nothing more than to lose m
yself between them.
Off limits, I reminded my cock as it started to stand up, taking notice of the sexy woman who was now walking farther into the room.
“Do you mind?” she asked when she stopped next to the bed.
Mind what? Her crawling into bed with me? Hell yes, I minded. There would be zero chance my cock would cooperate and calm down.
“Before you touch that sheet, baby, I gotta warn you, I don’t sleep with clothes on.”
“Oh.” She dropped the sheet but remained next to the bed. “Is that a problem for you?”
Was she crazy?
“Problem for me? No. But I didn’t want you surprised.”
She remained standing next to the bed in silence. What the hell was I supposed to do now? It wasn’t like I had experience with women wandering into my bedroom in the middle of the night, telling me they couldn’t sleep. As a matter of fact, that had never been an issue. If a woman was in my bed, she was either busy or she was drifting to sleep due to exhaustion.
“Tell you what. I’ll go with you back to my room and sit in there until you fall asleep.”
“If you’re sure. I don’t want to…”
“So help me God, if you say put me out one more time I’m bending you over my knee and spanking you,” I cut her off.
She humphed and cocked her hip out. “I was going to say, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” She tilted her head to the side and smiled. “And what do I get to do to you every time you cut me off with an incorrect assumption? Do I get to spank you?”
I threw my legs over the side of the bed and tossed the covers off, uncaring I was completely naked. There was nothing Ivy could say or do that would make me uncomfortable. Actually, that was a lie. If she started talking about feelings and shit, I’d bolt. But this? Being nude? There was nothing uncomfortable about it.
“Ivy, sweetheart, the chance of you ever spanking me is zero. Not my kink.”
Her eyes had homed in on my chest and as hard as she tried not to, they shifted lower before she forced herself to look me in the eye.
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