“Jesus fuck. Holy shit, woman. I’m addicted.”
I smiled at his compliment.
“See. I didn’t kill you.”
“Almost. I thought I was going to pass out when you hummed on my cock and I blew in your throat. I had no idea it could be that good.”
I laid my head on his chest and listened to his strong heartbeat under me. I never wanted to leave this place, this bubble of contentment.
“We should shower so I can feed you,” he said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
“I’m too relaxed,” I told him, and his body stiffened under mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I was just thinking the same thing. I’ve never felt so… at peace in my life.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No, baby. I’m just surprised is all.”
“Surprised in a good way?” I still hadn’t lifted my body off of his and if I wasn’t careful, his tender hands caressing my back would lull me to sleep.
“Only you, Ivy. I can’t explain why or how, and I’m smart enough not to question it. But I know someplace deep in my soul there is no one else who could quiet my demons.”
And that was when I fell in love. Not a storybook happily ever after love, but an all-consuming blinding love. He’d melted my soul to his. It didn’t matter what happened in the days, or weeks, or years that would follow. I would forever belong to him.
Long after I walked away, he would still own me.
19
Zane
I had mentally prepared for the rash of shit I was going to get from the team. I knew before we walked through the door it was going to be painful. They’d never let something as good as me claiming a woman go without busting my balls.
I tried to avoid the topic and jumped right into the case.
“Where are we with the images?” I asked Garrett as soon as the team settled around the conference room table. He slid a folder across the table and I reached out to pull it the rest of the way.
“So we’re just ignoring the fact you walked in the office holding Ivy’s hand?” Leo jumped right in.
“Yep,” I answered, but the team ignored me.
“Hopefully, with steady ass it will improve his attitude,” Colin added.
“Do not ever call Ivy steady ass.” I leveled Colin with a stare.
“I take it the plan we’d come up with to use Ivy as bait is now a no-go,” Jaxon said, reminding me of what I had said to him on the plane on the way home from Africa about his woman Violet.
His comment was met with a growl.
“How the mighty have fallen.” Jasmin smirked.
I glanced at the two men left in the room that hadn’t commented and waited. Declan didn’t seem to have much use for the current conversation. He was new and hadn’t been around when I was giving Linc, Jax, and Leo a hard time when they were trying to figure their shit out and claim their women. Smart man. Linc, on the other hand, was, and I figured he’d be the ringleader busting my balls and getting his digs in. But he sat lost in his thoughts, giving me nothing, which could only mean bad things.
“Happy for you, brother,” he said. I should’ve known he’d turn a good old ball-breaking session around to sappy emotional shit.
“Great. We done? We’ve got work to do,” I told the group.
They weren’t done. Another round of comments was made. All at my expense, all rude, and through it all I sat back quietly and took it. Nothing they threw my way phased me; not with Ivy by my side. I’d endure any amount of verbal torture if it meant at the end of the day she was mine.
“When’s the wedding?” Declan asked.
The question should’ve made me break out in hives, but it didn’t. In the past, the thought of a woman being tied to me in a permanent way would’ve had me gagging at the concept. But this was Ivy, not some woman. For some strange unexplainable reason, I knew she was made for me, not that I would tell the room at large my feelings on the subject and give them more ammunition to use against me.
“Now we’re done.” I opened the file Garrett had given me and scanned the images from the hotel’s security feeds. “Ivy was right. Forester leaves the backpack he carries in with the prostitutes.”
“Here’s my theory,” Declan started. “I’ve been thinking about what Amy told us. I don’t think he’s fucking all of them. I think he’s using them to run his drugs.”
“I agree. I read the SITREPS when I got in this morning. Amy doesn’t fuck him, and she said he only picks women he can blackmail, women who have something to protect. He also knew about Ivy,” Linc added.
“Sarah Long made an appearance yesterday. She had a lot to say; one of those things was Forester had wanted Ivy but Sarah gave him Joanna instead.” I filled them in.
“After you called yesterday, I ran Sarah’s bank account and phone records, neither of which she had until two years ago,” Garrett said and put a stack of papers on the table. “Almost daily phone calls between Sarah and Forester as well as monthly deposits into her account.”
“Fucking bitch. She did sell Joanna.”
Goddamn, what was wrong with this woman? She’d broken and abused Ivy all her life and pimped her stepdaughter out as a prostitute. Was there nothing she wasn’t capable of?
“Seems that way. Cheap, too, five grand a month. The payment stopped this month. I assume that’s why she made an appearance,” Garrett finished.
“Maybe. Sarah did say she wouldn’t let Ivy fuck this up for her and to mind her own business. Forester may be ready to break ties with Sarah and move on. The money will end. Sarah was adamant that Ivy back off. She’s desperate and scrambling.”
“It took some digging, but I found a small warehouse Forester rents. He set up a dummy corporation in Delaware. No money runs through it.” Garrett had been busy reminding me why I’d snatched him from the Navy before he could re-enlist. He wasn’t cheap, but the buyout of his enlistment bonus and doubling what the Navy had paid him had proved to be priceless.
“Declan, you’re with me. Linc and Garrett, run down any credit cards Forester has and see if we can trace the backpacks. I’d like everything in a nice bow for the Feds so they can’t fuck this up. No stone unturned.”
“Copy,” Garrett answered and stood, making his way to the door, Declan following behind him.
“Jaxon, stay on Amy today. Leo, I need you to dig and find what we need to lock up Sarah Long before I kill the bitch and go down for murder.”
Both men nodded their agreement and exited the room.
“I need a minute before you and Dec leave. I’ll wait for you in your office,” Colin told me, leaving me with Linc and Jasmin. Both of them looked like they had something to say. My brother more so than my sister-in-law. I took in Jasmin’s growing belly and visions of Ivy round with my child filled my mind. Never, not once in my life, had I thought about having children. I knew too much, I’d done too many horrible things. I had never entertained the idea of bringing a kid into my fucked-up world. But then again, I never thought I’d find Ivy.
“When does your doctor want you on maternity leave?” I asked.
“Now,” Lincoln answered.
“He said I should continue to work and stay as active as I can for as long as I can,” Jasmin corrected.
“You’re officially in-house only,” I told her.
“But..”
“No buts. You’ll help Garrett or nothing.” I now understood why Linc had gone crazy. If Ivy was nearly seven months pregnant with my baby, I’d tie her ass to the bed and make her stay still. Never would I allow her on a case.
“Fine,” she huffed and stood. “I take back what I said about being happy for you. I hope you suffer from impotence and you can’t get your dick hard. Jerk.”
Lincoln laughed at his wife’s outburst and I frowned. The thought of my cock not working was a downright travesty. It would be torture having Ivy in bed next to me and not being able to fuck her. Not to mention not having her beautiful lips wrappe
d around my cock while I throat fucked her. Christ, I’d rather poke my eyeballs out with toothpicks than not experience another one of her blowjobs. When Ivy said she had skills, she meant she had skills. Holy fuck, could the woman suck a boulder through a straw. Couple that with no gag reflex; she swallowed my cock like a goddamn pro. Some men said there was no such thing as a bad blowjob. They were lying. There is such a thing. I’ve had plenty of bad ones. Ivy knew exactly how to drive me crazy. I’d never had the pleasure of actually unloading in a woman’s throat before; not her mouth, but throat. The sensation was different, but what made it a hundred times better was knowing it was Ivy.
She made everything exceedingly more pleasurable.
“It’s good to see you happy,” Linc said.
I thought about what he said. Was I happy? Was this what happiness felt like?
“I don’t deserve her.”
“Don’t go there, Zane,” he warned.
“I’m not saying I’m not taking my shot. I am. I’m fucking keeping her. But I know I don’t deserve to feel any happiness when, because of me, so many no longer have the chance to have it.”
“You’re un-fucking-believable. Do you really have that big of a God complex you think you could’ve changed the outcome of their deaths?” Linc zeroed in on my guilt. “Do you think Eric would begrudge you happiness? He fucking died so you could find it. Don’t ever forget that. Eric gave his life so I could live to see my children come into this world, so Leo could see his child born, Declan could get to know his sister, so Jaxon could save Violet, and so you, you fucking prick, could finally let go of the past and find peace in this life. The men and women you’ve led into battle followed you not because they wanted to hide behind the blanket of protection you provide, but because they wanted to serve beside you, not behind you. I’ve placed my life in your hands while on a mission and you’ve placed yours in mine. It is a two-way street. You’re a good man, a great leader. But you, brother, are not God, and you do not have the almighty power to supersede death. To think you have that kind of control is dangerous.”
After Lincoln was done laying me out, hitting me square in the gut, and knocking the wind out of me, I considered what he said. Ivy had said something similar. I knew I wasn’t God, and I couldn’t control everything, but by the same token I did have my men’s lives in my hands. That couldn’t be denied. I was the one who chose which missions we accepted and what role my men played. I took risks and asked the same of them. When one of them didn’t come home, it was on me.
“You know why so many people are afraid of you?” Linc sighed and leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “You are both barbaric and smart, making you the scariest kind of man. Tough and brutal, yet highly intelligent. You have the greatest instincts of any man I know, all of which are your greatest and worst assets. Your brain never turns off, you never stop analyzing, you overthink everything.”
“I have to, Lincoln. I can’t turn it off.”
“You can. You are more than the trained killer you think you are.”
“I don’t know how,” I admitted.
Fuck, that was a kick to the stomach having to admit weakness to my brother.
“If Ivy is who you think she is to you, you don’t have to know how to do it. She’ll pull it from you. You’ll know she’s the one when you have her in your arms and the outside world ceases to exist. Everything falls away and the ache in your soul is soothed. Don’t fight it; there’s so much more than all of this,” he said as he motioned around the room. “You’ve proven yourself, Zane. You did it. You took the poor kid from the trailer park, dusted the dirt off, and made a name for yourself; one that men admire and enemies fear. But none of what you’ve accomplished means jack shit if you’re not happy. Let the past go.” He didn’t wait for me to answer. He stood and started for the door before he turned back and finished. “Jasmin has four more weeks of working. I’d appreciate you having my six on that.”
“Roger that,” I answered.
“And I want nieces and nephews and cousins for my kids. I want to give my children what we didn’t have. That includes an uncle that is present in their lives. You’re all I have outside of Jasmin and it’s been fucking killing me watching you abuse yourself. I love you, big brother, but it’s time you get your head out of your ass.”
Fuck. I had no idea Linc had been worried about me. I honestly thought he’d been so wrapped up in Jasmin he hadn’t noticed. The last two years since Russia had been a shit show. Jasmin healing had been my concern. She’d held up like a fucking champ while Russian prison guards had tortured her. She refused to give them the intel they were after. There was a point I thought the two of us were going to die in that room, and as my life passed by I didn’t have any regrets. At least I hadn’t thought I had, but that was before I knew the feel of Ivy’s presence. If we had died that day, I would have gone to my grave never knowing the love of a good woman.
“She’s the one,” I blurted out before Linc could close the door. “She makes me want to be a better man, one that my family can be proud of.”
“We already are.” He looked back at me with a gleam in his green eyes and I knew the heart-to-heart was over. “I do expect to be the best man. And I want my sister-in-law’s ass planted at my table for dinner one of these nights.”
Fucker.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Linc left and I remembered Colin wanted to talk to me before Declan and I left to check Forester’s warehouse.
When I entered my office, he was sitting on the couch with his jaw clenched tight, thumbing through an open file on the table in front of him. When he saw me enter, he quickly shut the file with more force than was necessary.
“What’s that?” I asked, gesturing toward the file while I took a seat in the chair next to him.
“We’ve got a problem,” he answered.
Of course, we fucking did. Was it too early in the day to start drinking?
“What kind of problem?” I reached my hand out and waited for him to hand me the file.
He reluctantly placed the file in my hand but didn’t let go. “These go no further than us. No one, not even the team, sees these.”
“Alright.”
He let go and I opened the file and immediately closed it after a brief glance at the image inside.
“Where the fuck did you get these?” I growled.
A problem? This wasn’t a problem; it was a goddamn cluster fuck.
“The camera of the man I caught following Erin.”
He was referring to Erin Anderson, the first daughter. The daughter of Tom Anderson, the President of the United States. He’d uttered her name as if the photographs I held in my hand wouldn’t cause a firestorm even I wouldn’t be able to stop. Tom Anderson was a man you didn’t cross. He was a firm but fair man, except when it came to his family. Photographs of his daughter naked was sure to make him see red.
“Motherfucking son of a bitch. When?”
“Two days ago.”
“How bad is it?”
Colin had been playing babysitter to Erin at the President’s request for months. So far, the reports were coming back that Tom was being an overprotective father and Erin just wanted a little freedom. Something the President should understand, considering he ditched his secret service detail more than any modern president.
“I thought I’d gotten through to her. When you guys went to Africa with Violet, I had a come to Jesus talk with Erin about her slipping her detail. I reminded her about what happened to Olivia and how that did not end well for her. She was taking ridiculous chances with her safety, ditching her protection detail more and more. It stopped for a while.”
Christ! I’d thought Tom was being over the top when he’d asked if Colin and Leo could stay behind and follow Erin. It seems he was right to worry. Even as far back as when Olivia, Erin’s best friend, was taken, he was worried about Erin. The first daughter traipsing around town unprotected and now being photographed could pos
e a threat to national security.
“What changed?”
“I told her no.”
“What?” I wasn’t racking how Colin telling Erin no would lead to someone getting pictures of Erin.
“She kissed me. More like a fucking sneak attack. I stopped her and explained all the reasons she was off-limits to me. She didn’t like my answer. I mean, really didn’t fucking like it; she threw a goddamn lamp at me and called me a coward. Before she left, she said there were plenty of men who’d love to fuck her. I warned her spoiled ass not to do it. She told me I had no right to tell her who she could fuck; then this happened. A goddamned charity event, with her personal detail at the event. One second, she was dancing in her fancy ass dress in the ballroom, the next I couldn’t find her. Her detail didn’t know where she went. I checked the perimeter and the guesthouse. Some fuck stick had his camera pointed in the window and caught her getting undressed.”
I blew out a breath and wasn’t sure where to begin. Erin was for all intents and purposes an adult aside from someone photographing the exchange, she could indeed have sex with who she wanted. Tom would be pissed as any father would I suppose, but Colin was angrier than a man who’d been given the slip by the person he was in charge of protecting. There was something going on there and I didn’t want to know what that something was. The pictures were the issue I needed to concentrate on.
“Any more photographs floating around?” I asked.
“There better not be,” he barked before he tried to relax. “Not that I’ve found. The photographer ran after I took his camera. I didn’t bother going after him. When I got into the room where Erin was, I told her to get dressed, grabbed the guy’s cell phone, and took her home. His phone was clean, so they hadn’t taken any pictures.”
Recovering Ivy Page 14