Starting Over

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Starting Over Page 7

by Cheryl Douglas


  “You know Dan is in love with her, Mom. You said it yourself when we visited the inn last Mother’s Day. You said if Alex didn’t start paying more attention to his wife, he was going to lose her.” Tonya threw up her hands. “Now look at the mess he’s made of everything.”

  Marianne looked embarrassed. “Is it because of Dan? Is that why Eve wants a divorce?”

  Alex looked from his mother to his sister, unable to think past his rage. He hated himself for letting this happen, and he resented his family for reminding him another man was in the picture who would give anything to fill his vacant shoes. “I gotta get the hell out of here.”

  Chapter Six

  Eve stood at the front of the church, greeting the mourners, when the sight of shoulder-length dark ringlets caught her eye. She only knew one person with hair like that—her sister-in-law. Tonya walked up the aisle with her mother, and as soon as Eve’s eyes locked with theirs, the tears started again. She’d never expected them to come all this way. Unless Alex hadn’t told them about the divorce? If that was the case, he was putting her in the uncomfortable position of having to do the honors, which was the last thing she needed.

  “How are you, sweetheart?” Marianne asked, hugging Eve.

  Alex’s mother had been so kind to her since the day they met, welcoming her into their family without reservation. Saying good-bye to Marianne and Tonya would be almost as difficult as saying good-bye to her aunt. “Thank you for coming.”

  “I wish you’d called to tell us about your aunt,” Tonya said, squeezing her hard. “We would have been here sooner. After the way you stepped up when Daddy died…”

  Since Eve didn’t have a relationship with her own father, her father-in-law had gladly stepped into the role, and she’d never had a chance to tell him how grateful she was for his love and support. Helping to plan a service to honor his memory seemed like the least she could do.

  The three women held hands, grieving as much for the closeness between them that was slipping away as for the dynamic spirit who had already left them. Eve could tell just by looking into their eyes that they already knew about the divorce. Their sadness mirrored her own, and each struggled to find the words to ease their gloom.

  “I’m sorry,” Eve said finally. “I wish there was another way.”

  “Maybe there is,” Tonya said quickly. “Maybe you and Alex could talk after the service and figure out a way to work things out, find a compromise—”

  “Alex is here?” Eve asked, glancing around uneasily.

  “Of course he is,” Marianne said quietly. “You didn’t think he would miss this, did you? He is still your husband.”

  Eve didn’t want Alex to feel obligated to keep up appearances and stand by her side for the benefit of people he barely knew. “Where is he? I need to talk to him.”

  “He’s outside, parking the car,” Tonya said.

  “Excuse me.” Eve smiled politely at several mourners as she made her way down the aisle. She knew her place was at the front of the church, greeting people who’d come to pay their respects, but she had to speak to her husband. She spotted him walking across the crowded parking lot, and she was awestruck, the same way she’d been the first time she laid eyes on him.

  He was wearing an expensive black suit and silver tie. His black hair was carefully styled, and his dark sunglasses masked the eyes she knew would match his tie. She’d bought him that suit and tie combination on a whim, knowing it would enhance his striking eyes. She wished she’d left it in the store. The last thing she needed was a reminder of happier times.

  Slipping his sunglasses off when he got closer, he said, “How are you, sweetheart?”

  Eve hoped a sharp intake of breath would give her the air she needed to speak, but she still felt breathless. She’d never met a man she had such a strong visceral reaction to, as though her whole body went on high alert when he stepped into her line of vision. She’d foolishly thought their last good-bye would be their last good-bye and their lawyers would tend to the rest of the details. “I didn’t expect you to come. I know how busy you are.”

  He took her hand. “There may have been a time when I let you believe I was too busy for you. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

  Looking at their joined hands, her head told her to pull away, but her heart told her to hold on and never let go. “You spoke to James, didn’t you? You know about—”

  “We don’t have to talk about that now,” he said, putting his arm around her and leading her toward the church. “We’re here to honor Sharon’s memory today.”

  “But…” Eve flattened a hand against her stomach when she saw a familiar figure getting out of a late-model gray sedan. She hadn’t seen her in years, but she would know her anywhere. “Oh my God, what is my mother doing here?”

  “There’s only one way to find out,” Alex said. He slid his arm around her waist, leading her toward his mother-in-law’s car.

  “I don’t think I can deal with her today,” she whispered, looking around and wondering if any of the other guests had spotted her. “If she’s here to make a scene—”

  “We won’t let her,” Alex said firmly.

  Jane looked taken aback when they approached, obviously expecting to have a few more minutes to collect herself before facing the daughter she’d abandoned. “Eve, it’s so good to see you.” She held out her hand, but when Eve just stared at it, she let it fall to her side.

  “What are you doing here, Mother?”

  “Your aunt’s death has been all over the news—”

  “You didn’t answer my question,” Eve said, trying to sound stronger than she felt. If not for Alex’s arm around her, she feared she may have collapsed. “What are you doing here?”

  “Sharon was my sister. I wanted to come… to say good-bye.” She looked at Eve wistfully. “And I thought you might need me.”

  “She doesn’t,” Alex cut in. “She has me.”

  Jane had only met her son-in-law once—at Eve and Alex’s wedding. Eve had been reluctant to invite her, but Sharon suggested it may help heal their damaged relationship. When Jane ridiculed Sharon for trying to take her place as the mother of the bride, Alex asked Jane to leave, telling her he wouldn’t allow her to ruin the day for them.

  “I’m glad to see that.” Jane smiled. “I wouldn’t want her to be alone at a time like this.”

  Alex may be there in body, but Eve knew his mind must be on their impending divorce. She wondered if her aunt would have wanted Jane at the service. The sisters had been close once, and Sharon may have wanted her only other living relative at a service honoring her life. “I’m not sure you should be here, Mother.”

  “I promise I won’t cause any trouble,” Jane whispered, her eyes brimming with tears. “I’ve made so many mistakes, but I’m not the same person I was, Eve. I swear to you, I’ve changed.”

  Eve gave her a quick once-over, and she had to admit, she looked different. The last time she’d seen Jane, she’d been wearing a tight, black strapless dress and five-inch heels, as though her goal was to upstage the bride. Today, she was wearing a long, black, flowing skirt, ballerina flats, and a black silk, scoop-neck top. Her hair was a soft gray instead of blond, twisted into a chignon, and she wasn’t wearing any makeup. Her nails were free of polish, and her only jewelry were small pearl studs. If she was trying to blend into the crowd, she was going about it the right way.

  Alex gave his wife a sidelong glance, as though he was willing to follow her lead. With a heavy sigh, Eve said, “Fine, you can come in. Just please try to remember that this day is about Aunt Sharon. I want to give her the farewell she deserves.”

  “I want that too,” Jane said, a small smile tipping her thin lips. “Thank you for letting me stay.”

  Eve nodded before stepping out of Alex’s embrace. Squaring her shoulders, she walked into the small church with her head held high. Their place of worship was filled to overflowing with people whose lives Sharon had touched, and Eve was determined t
o hold it together for her aunt.

  ***

  Alex watched his wife trying so hard not to cry, and it broke his heart. He wanted to be there for her, but the one and only time he’d tried to hold her hand, she quickly withdrew it without looking at him. He’d come there hoping that, for one day, they could pretend they weren’t getting divorced, that they were still a family trying to help each other through a difficult time.

  Eve stood to speak, and Alex held his breath, wondering whether she would be able to make it through without falling apart. Turning around, he noticed his mother-in-law sitting in the back pew, her eyes fixed on her daughter. He still couldn’t understand why Jane had come. She’d never tried to mend her relationship with her daughter before. Why was she reaching out? If she expected to claim a piece of her late sister’s estate, Alex would make sure that didn’t happen. That money belonged to Sharon’s niece and the charities Sharon chose to donate to. Anyone else who hoped to see a dime of it would have to go through him and his lawyers to get it.

  “I wanted to thank you all for coming,” Eve said, her lips trembling as she looked around the room. “I know how much each and every one of you meant to my aunt, and she would be so touched that you’ve all come to honor her this way.” She unfolded a sheet of paper, laid it flat on the podium, and smoothed it out gently. “I thought of what I could say about my aunt, but I have no words to express how amazing she was or how much I loved her. So I decided to share something very personal with all of you, something I thought would help us all remember what an exceptional woman she was.” Eve looked up, and her eyes met her husband’s for a brief moment. “This is the last letter she wrote to me…”

  If she’d asked for his opinion, Alex would have advised against reading that. He’d witnessed the state Eve had been in after she watched her aunt’s video message, and he could only imagine how difficult it would be for her to read Sharon’s words to a roomful of people.

  Eve cleared her throat and looked down at the paper.

  “My Dearest Eve,

  “Sometimes people come into your life and touch it in the most remarkable ways. They change the way you think and feel about everything, from yourself to the people around you. You were one of those people for me, my beautiful niece. You changed me. Our relationship changed me.”

  Eve swiped at a tear gliding down her cheek as her voice trembled.

  “I started to see the world through your eyes, the eyes of a child, an innocent untouched by the harshness of reality. As you grew up and faced some of your own challenges, you never let them defeat you, and I so admired your courage and determination.

  “The years we spent together were some of the happiest of my life because you filled a void in my life I didn’t even realize had been there. You honored me by sharing your secrets with me. You reminded me to laugh, often and with abandon. You encouraged me to keep dreaming.”

  Eve took a deep breath, and Alex knew making it through the next few minutes would take everything she had.

  “When you start to see life through the eyes of a child, you remember that anything and everything is possible. I stopped seeing my life through the limiting blinders of a jaded adult and started living in the totality of possibilities. So you see, sunshine, you really did change my life in the most remarkable ways. Because of you, I remembered how to dream, and boy, did I dream big!”

  A gentle laugh moved through the crowd, and Eve looked up, smiling. Her eyes met Alex’s, and they shared a moment of amusement and affection for a lady they’d both loved and admired.

  “I grabbed hold of life with both hands, determined to wring every ounce of joy out of it that I could. And I did. So please don’t be sad that I’m gone. Be happy that I lived life on my terms, and you taught me how to do that.

  “I love you with my whole heart, for the little girl you were, the woman you are, and the goddess I know you are destined to become. Follow my lead… live with passion for as long as you’re here, and when your time is up, leave with a smile and a heart bursting with love.”

  Eve carefully folded the paper, made eye contact with the minister, and made her way down the stairs to her seat in the front pew. Alex put his arm around Eve, and she leaned her head on his shoulder, obviously too emotionally drained to resist his offer of comfort. The minister concluded the service and invited everyone back to the inn for a reception. According to her wishes, Sharon’s ashes would be scattered in the lake she loved.

  Alex followed Eve’s car back to the inn, wishing she hadn’t insisted on driving. In her fragile emotional state, getting distracted would be too easy. He was surprised she hadn’t hired a car. Had he known she’d overlooked that detail, he would have tended to it himself. He would do so many things differently if only he had the chance. Sighing, he found a place to park in the inn’s crowded parking lot. He cut the engine of his luxury rental car and watched Dan get out of his truck and walk over to Eve’s car. Alex had seen him at the church, but Dan had kept a reasonable distance, obviously not wanting to add to Eve’s distress.

  Watching them embrace wasn’t easy. The longing on the other man’s face was painfully evident, perhaps because Alex finally understood how it felt to ache for a woman just out of reach. If he didn’t despise Dan so much, he might even feel a modicum of sympathy for Eve’s former boyfriend. All those years couldn’t have been easy for him, wrestling with his feelings while he watched the woman he loved living the life he fantasized about with another man.

  “I don’t know how you can stand to watch that,” Tonya said, leaning forward in the backseat. “It’s so obvious he wants her.”

  Their mother glared at her daughter from the passenger seat. “Tonya, now is not the time.”

  Alex had been so caught up in his own thoughts, he’d almost forgotten his mother and sister were in the car.

  “When would be a good time, Mom?” Tonya’s eyes narrowed as she watched Dan take Eve’s hand and lead her up to the inn. “When it’s too late? When the divorce is final?”

  “It’s your brother’s life,” Marianne said, closing her hand over Alex’s. “It’s his marriage in jeopardy. He’s the one who has to decide how he wants to handle this.”

  Tonya patted Alex’s shoulder. “I know I was a little rough on you the other day. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay, I understand.” Alex watched his wife disappear on the arm of another man, and he knew no matter how long he lived, he would never get used to the sight of her with someone else. “It’s hard on all of us.”

  “Please don’t let her do this,” Tonya whispered, gripping her brother’s shoulder. “It’s so obvious she’s still in love with you. She just needs you to prove that you’re willing to put her first for a change.”

  For a change. “Don’t pull any punches, sis.”

  “If someone doesn’t let you have it, it’s going to be too late,” she said frantically. “Why can’t you see that? You’re running out of time!”

  “I know that, god damn it!” Alex shouted, slamming his open palm against the steering wheel. “You think I’m not freaking out about it? Trust me, I am.” Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the leather headrest.

  Marianne inclined her head toward the inn’s front door, giving her daughter a pointed look. She waited for Tonya to leave. “I take it Eve intends to stay here and run the inn?”

  “That’s her plan, Mom.” Alex looked at the sprawling white building, white wraparound porches, and colorful blooms overflowing from pots and lining stone pathways. With the expansive lake as a backdrop, it was exceptional, the perfect place for Eve to start her life anew, to find peace and purpose and joy. Could he really try to take that away from her? Was he selfish enough to try to convince her to return to a home where her spirit was slowly dying? The inn was a real home, warmth filling every nook and cranny, carefully selected antiques and handmade scatter rugs giving it the comfortable feel their guests loved.

  “And what’s your plan?”
she asked, smiling when Eve’s mother passed their car.

  “I honestly don’t know,” he said quietly. “Part of me says to fight like hell to keep her in my life, and the other part says I need to love her enough to let her go so she can be happy.”

  Marianne nodded. “That is quite a dilemma. You don’t think she could be happy with you in the city?”

  “No. This is her home.” He watched an elderly couple walk up the stairs, hand in hand, and he remembered a time when he thought that would be him and Eve someday. In his worst nightmares, he’d never believed their relationship could get so bad. “These people are like family to her.”

  “Your sister is right about one thing, son. Eve still loves you.”

  “I know.” He’d felt it when she kissed him the other night. Even if she hadn’t said it, he would have known. “I love her too, more than ever. But I can’t help but think too much time has passed. Too much has happened.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what the hell to do anymore. I don’t mean to take it out on you and Tonya. None of this is your fault.”

  “Don’t make any decisions you might regret. Ask Eve for a little more time.”

  “I tried that. I think she just wants to put our marriage behind her so she can move on.” When his mother didn’t respond, he looked at her. She was obviously holding back. “What are you thinking?”

  “I hate to bring this up—I know it’s a sore subject—but do you think she’s so anxious to move on because of Dan? I know they’re close.”

  He wanted to deny it, to tell his mother his wife couldn’t love another man the way she loved him, but he had to admit the thought had occurred to him more times than he could count. “She said they’re just friends, but I think it’s pretty obvious how he feels about her.”

  “Yes, it is.” Marianne sighed and reached for the door handle. “Are you going to be staying here after the service?”

  “Eve doesn’t want me here. She asked me to leave a few days ago.” He’d been apprehensive about coming to the service, but his affection for Sharon and his concern for Eve convinced him it was the right thing to do.

 

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