“I’m glad to hear that,” the doctor said, sliding her glasses on top of her head. “The nurse will be in periodically to take your blood pressure. Try to rest, if you can. If everything looks good, you can leave in a few hours. I’ll see you for your scheduled appointment in a couple of weeks, but if you need me before that, don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thank you,” Alex and Eve said in unison as the doctor left the room.
“Jesus,” Alex said, sinking into the plastic chair at Eve’s bedside. “I can’t remember ever being so scared or feeling so damn helpless.”
Eve had been at his father’s bedside when he passed, and that was the only other time she’d seen that look of terror on Alex’s face. He didn’t relinquish control freely or easily. “Everything’s going to be fine now,” she said, finally feeling as though she could breathe.
“You’re damn right it is,” he muttered. “I’m going to make sure of it.”
“Alex,” Eve said, gently stroking his arm, “I know you want to take care of us—and I appreciate that, I really do—but I can’t let you take over everything at the inn. That’s not what Aunt Sharon wanted, and it’s not what I want.”
With a heavy sigh, his broad shoulders slumped. “What do you expect me to do? You heard what the doctor said. Stress isn’t good for you or our baby.”
“I know.” She didn’t want to sound ungrateful. She loved him for being there and caring so much, but she needed space to grow and evolve without Alex trying to shelter and protect her. “I promise I won’t overdo it as long as you promise you won’t treat me like I’m made of glass.”
“You have no idea how hard this is for me,” he whispered, dropping his head. “I’ve made such a mess of things. I finally have a chance to make things right, and I can’t blow it.”
She ran her fingers through his hair. “We’ve both made mistakes. You’re not the only one.” She’d let herself believe their divorce was completely Alex’s fault, but if she’d tried harder to save her marriage, given them more time to find their way back to each other, they would still be married.
He rested his arms on the bed, letting his head fall into the cocoon of his arms. “I want to be the best daddy I know how to be to this little girl, Eve.”
She couldn’t see his face, but she didn’t need to. She heard the raw emotion in his voice. “You will be. I have no doubt about that.” When Alex made up his mind about something, nothing could take him off course. If he was determined to give their daughter all of his love and attention, she knew he would.
He leaned back, and his chin dipped to his chest. “I don’t deserve your faith in me. Not anymore.”
“You’re wrong,” she whispered, stroking his face. “You’ve proven yourself to me. You were there for me when my aunt died. You came back when you believed I needed help running the inn—”
“But when you told me about the baby…” He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “God, I’ll never forgive myself for the things I said to you. I’m so sorry about that, sweetheart.”
“You were shocked. So was I when I found out. I don’t blame you for that. You can’t blame yourself either.” When he was silent for a moment, she said, “About the inn—”
“You’re the boss,” he said quickly. “I asked James to make it a 51/49 split. I want you to maintain controlling interest and have first right of refusal, should I ever decide to sell.”
Eve forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. She’d been about to tell him that he didn’t need to buy half of the inn. She wanted them to re-marry, to be a family when their baby was born. “Um, do you think that might happen? You may want to sell your interest in the inn down the road?”
He rubbed the back of his neck as a look of uncertainty passed over his face. “If this whole experience has taught us one thing, it’s that there are no guarantees, right?”
“Right.” She wanted to protest, to make him remember when he had believed in forever. But the sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach told her it was too late to pretend the past couple of years hadn’t happened. They were permanently ingrained in their minds, a constant reminder that no matter how much two people loved each other, happily ever after wasn’t a given.
Chapter Fifteen
Alex had helped Eve get settled a few hours earlier, but sleep was eluding him. His blood turned to ice every time he thought about how close they’d come to losing their baby. His mind tortured him with all of the scenarios he knew he wasn’t strong enough to endure. If anything happened to Eve or their daughter, he would never survive the loss.
She’d been quiet when he said good night. He thought she was wrestling with the same fears he had, but he saw something in her eyes right before he closed her bedroom door that looked an awful lot like longing. He hadn’t been able to wipe that image out of his head no matter how hard he tried. He was trying to give her time and space, to let her take the lead. Their relationship was growing, and he had to let it evolve naturally into an unbreakable bond. But he was afraid and frustrated. He wanted to tell her he still loved her and that, more than anything, he wanted to be her husband again.
Alex thought about the life they could have on the land they both loved. They could segregate an acre of waterfront land and build a little house there. It would allow them to separate their business and personal lives when the need arose. They would have a day care on site, so they would be able to see their daughter all the time without sacrificing time at the office…
A soft tap on the door had Alex sitting up. Pulling the sheet up to cover his bare chest, he said, “Come in.”
Eve poked her head in, her dark-blond hair falling over her face before she tucked it behind her ear. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, come on in.” His heart beat erratically as he feared the worst. “Are you okay? You’re not cramping or—”
“I’m fine,” she said, her hand falling to her stomach as she slipped inside the room with a soft smile. “We’re both fine. I just couldn’t sleep.”
“Me neither. You want me to make you some warm milk?” He grinned when she stuck her tongue out, gagging. “I know you hate the stuff, but I’ve read pregnant women sometimes crave all kinds of things they hated before.”
Her eyes drifted to the nightstand, and she spotted What to Expect When Your Wife’s Expecting. “I can’t believe you’re reading that.”
He knew he could easily make a joke about it, but he wanted her to know how seriously he was taking her pregnancy. “I want to be involved every step of the way.” He held out his hand, and he was relieved when she walked toward the bed. She sat down on the other side to face him. “I know I wasn’t a very eager participant when you were trying to get pregnant…” His lips twitched when she raised an eyebrow. “I’m not saying I didn’t have fun practicing, but I wasn’t as engaged as I should have been. I don’t want to make that mistake now.”
With a long, lingering glance, she said, “You really have changed. You’re not the same man I left a few months ago. You’re not even the same man I fell in love with all those years ago.”
Alex held his breath and waited for her to continue. The man whose life revolved around Bolton Industries seemed like a distant memory, but he needed her to reach that conclusion on her own. He needed her to be ready to take a chance on him without feeling pressured. He loved her so damn much his chest ached just thinking about the way his bed felt without her in it every night.
“You’re the man now that I always wanted you to be,” she whispered. “I knew it wasn’t fair or realistic to think I could change you, but when I thought about the kind of life we could have together, I just couldn’t help myself. Sometimes I wanted to grab you and shake you and just beg you to see how good it could be, if only you were willing to meet me halfway.”
He reached for her hand, tugging her down beside him. She curled into his side, and his breath hitched as he felt the warmth of her body through the thin fabric of her long, black nightgown. “I�
�m here now.” He brushed his lips across her hair. “For as long as you want me.”
“You said earlier”—her hand rested on his chest, over his heart—“that you may want to sell your half of the inn someday. Why would you say that?”
Alex hated to even think about that, but as long as it was a possibility, he knew he had to. “There may come a time when you start dating again.” He paused, praying she would protest, but she said nothing. “You may meet someone else… fall in love.”
“If I did meet someone else, you’d sell your share of the inn?” she asked, trailing circles over his bare chest. “Why?”
“I’d rather die than stand by and watch you fall in love with someone else.” His voice broke, and he cleared it, trying to rein in his emotions. “Not that you don’t have the right to move on, obviously you do, but—”
“What if I don’t want to?” She looked up at him as a smile teased her lips.
“What does that mean?” He heard his heart pounding and he knew it must be thudding under her hand, but he didn’t care. He felt as though everything was riding on the next words out of her mouth.
“It means that I still love you, Alex, that I’ve never stopped loving you.”
Hope battled with fear inside his head as he remembered her telling him that when she told him she wanted to divorce him too. Just because she loved him didn’t mean she wanted to spend her life with him. “I love you too.” He hoped she couldn’t hear the uncertainty in his voice. He wasn’t trying to pressure her, but he knew he would lose it if she didn’t tell him where he stood soon.
“But…?” She pulled away, leaning her weight on one elbow as she looked him in the eye.
He’d left the curtains open, and the exterior security lights cast a soft glow over the room, illuminating her delicate features. He wondered if their daughter would look like Eve. Part of him hoped so, but his over-protective, fatherly instincts, already developing inside him, feared the long line of guys ready to steal daddy’s little girl. He would never be ready for that.
“Alex? What are you thinking?”
He gently caressed her stomach, smiling when her gaze drifted to his hand. “I’m thinking about our baby girl, wondering whether she’ll look like her gorgeous mama.”
Eve covered his hand with hers, stilling the motion. “I want her to have the best of both of us. Your courage, determination, and fearlessness…”
“Your compassion and intelligence…” He leaned in, inhaling the subtle scent of her shampoo. He heard the hitch in her breathing, as though she feared and anticipated his next move. “I’ve missed you so much.” He brushed his lips across her cheek, barely skimming the soft skin. “I’ve missed sharing a bed with you.”
Slipping her leg between his, she said, “I’ve missed sharing a bed with you too.”
“You have?” he asked, trying to tamp down his surprise. He’d believed he was the only one still aching for the physical connection they used to share.
“Of course I have.” Eve ran a hand over his stubble. “That was the one place I always felt connected.” She buried her head in the crook of his neck. “In bed.”
“Is that why you came to me tonight?” he asked, barely able to get the words out past the lump lodged in his throat. That was it. The moment of truth. “Or was there another reason?”
“I want to start over,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I want to forget everything that’s happened the last little while and just…”
He eased her back on the bed, positioning his upper body over hers. “Just what, Eve? Don’t be afraid to say it. You have to know I want you back, that it killed me to lose you in the first place.”
“I made a mistake.” A tear slid down her cheek as her hand glided over his shoulder and down his back. “I should never have divorced you.” She closed her eyes as a sob escaped her. “God, what was I thinking?”
“It’s okay, baby,” he said, desperate to ease her anguish. “You were right to divorce me.”
“What?”
He kissed her softly, gently, knowing if he gave into his hunger for her, he would never be able to say the things she needed to hear before he made love to her again. “Sweetheart, losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through.”
“Even harder than losing your company?”
He couldn’t pretend losing his father’s company hadn’t hurt, but that pain eventually subsided, giving way to a sense of freedom he’d never experienced. The pain of losing Eve would never have subsided. She would have remained with him until the day he died, a phantom in his memory, reminding him what it felt like to share his life with the woman of his dreams. “Losing Bolton doesn’t compare to losing you. Nothing could ever compare to that.”
“I love you,” she whispered in his ear. “So much.” She drew him into her arms.
Closing his eyes with a smile of satisfaction, he let her hold him for a minute, knowing that’s what she needed. “I love you too.” Drawing back, he kissed her the way he’d been dying to kiss her since the night their daughter was conceived. That night had marked their end as he tried desperately to hold on. Tonight was about trusting that nothing and no one could ever touch the love they shared.
“We shouldn’t do this tonight,” he said, easing the strap over her shoulder. When his hand found her fuller breast, he promised himself he wouldn’t take it too far. He just needed to touch her to convince himself it wasn’t a dream. “Not after your scare earlier.”
Biting her lip as he tweaked her nipple, she tipped her head back and closed her eyes. “What if I told you the doctor gave us the green light to make love tonight? I called the hospital while I was lying in bed, tossing and turning.” She met his smile with her own. “Dr. Jefferson was still there. She was just getting out of the delivery room, and I managed to catch her before she left.”
Alex wanted to make love to her more than ever, but he’d never do anything to endanger their daughter. “Are you sure it’s okay? I mean, if it’s not—”
Eve cut him off with a kiss. She moaned into his mouth while her tongue tangled with his, grinding her hips against his as she gripped his shoulders. When they finally broke apart, breathless, she said, “Make love to me. Please.”
He lifted her nightgown over her head and tossed it on the floor. Standing, he slid his pajama bottoms off and watched her eyes hungrily devour his arousal. “You keep looking at me like that, and this is gonna be over before it starts.”
She giggled as she reached for him. “That’s never been a problem for you.”
Alex was gratified to know that’s one area he hadn’t failed her. Climbing into bed beside her, he knew it wouldn’t be the frenzied mating they’d enjoyed so many times. That night was about worshipping her, showing her how much she meant to him and how he intended to never take her for granted again.
He positioned his body above hers, supporting his weight as his lips moved slowly down her body, leaving a moist trail across every inch of soft flesh. She arched into his mouth when his tongue circled her nipple, and he feared he wouldn’t be able to hold off. But that night wasn’t about him and his needs; it was about thanking the most generous woman he’d ever known for giving him back his life.
“I love the way you make me feel,” she whispered, threading her hands through his hair and holding his head between her breasts. She sighed contentedly as he licked one breast and then the other. “God, I’ve missed this.”
“Not as much as I have,” he said, his voice husky as he moved further down her body. When he reached her stomach, he dropped tender kisses over the soft mound forming, eager for the day when her tiny bump would be evident to the rest of the world.
She held her breath as his lips brushed back and forth over her stomach, paying homage to the little miracle they’d created. “I’ve imagined you doing that so many times.” Her voice was choked with tears. “But I didn’t think it would ever really happen.”
“Every day until you bring our beautiful
daughter into the world, I’m going to do this.”
“Promise?”
“Count on it.” He moved lower, kissing the tender skin on the inside of her thighs as he felt her legs tremble. Avoiding the spot he knew she needed him most, he continued to kiss a moist path up and down her legs, over the swell of her lips, before he finally eased her legs apart with his shoulders.
“Alex, I…”
He knew no words could express how much she wanted him, how much she needed him. He knew because he felt the same way. Only actions could convey the depth of what they felt. Loving her with his mouth had always been one of his favorite ways to please her, and that night was no exception. He watched her come apart in his arms. He continued to stroke her with his tongue long after the last tremors subsided, until she was practically begging for mercy. He’d been hungering for a taste of her for so long, he felt like a man living without water. He’d been given a taste of the life force he’d been fantasizing about, knowing he couldn’t endure life without it. That’s how Alex felt without Eve—as if he wouldn’t survive without her.
She reached for him, trying to coax him up. “Please. I need you… now.”
Alex kissed her deeply, knowing he would never take that simple act for granted again. He gave thanks for what felt like the hundredth time that he had the right to do it. His shaft found her entrance without his guidance, almost as though his body knew exactly where he belonged. He watched her closely for any signs of discomfort as he eased inside of her with excruciating care. “Tell me if it hurts, promise me.”
Wrapping her legs around his hips, she whispered in his ear, “It feels incredible. I love this.”
Reining in his body while his emotions set off explosions like fireworks wasn’t easy. Love. Gratitude. Appreciation. Devotion. His world began and ended with the gorgeous woman in his arms and the tiny baby she carried. He knew they would always have his heart in the palm of their hands. “Marry me again,” he whispered as his body guided them toward ecstasy. “Please, say you’ll marry me.” He hadn’t intended to propose like that, but his heart told him it was the perfect time. The soul-deep connection they’d always shared was physical again too.
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