by Ronica Black
“That wasn’t half bad, Adam,” Rae praised, once again alone on her horse. “Relax your wrist, you’re too stiff.” She offered Krista a smile but Krista was in no mood to return it.
Adam removed the rope from around his neck. “We were hoping you would offer some pointers.” His eyes danced mischievously. “Can I crawl up on your saddle?”
Rae blushed considerably and put a fist to her mouth for an embarrassed cough.
“Yes, Dr. Jarrett, is that standard roping procedure?” The venom was back in her voice but Krista couldn’t help it. She was seething with jealousy and the increasing fear that her attraction would never be returned.
“Not usually, no.” Rae met her eyes.
Candace trotted up, all tits and no clue. “Rae’s such a good teacher.” She raised her rope and swung much better than before.
“Yes,” Krista whispered. “She certainly is.”
Unable to take much more, she rode off. Tom had waved a few minutes earlier, signaling that he had the mare, so Krista was free to try her roping skills again. She skirted the left of the herd and practiced her swing. She had it down immediately, her wrist falling into place from times long ago. But her aim was still slightly off and she had to endure watching Rae or Cody rope the strays she should’ve had.
After a few minutes, Rae made an attempt to offer encouragement, but Krista shot her a glare full of fire and she rode off. The morning flew by after that, with Krista so focused on forcing Rae Jarrett from her mind, she paid little attention to anything else.
At noon sharp, however, a whistle went out for lunch.
“Shit.” She should’ve paid more attention; she was in charge of this charade and needed to help hand out the midday meal. Once again Krista felt like she was floundering.
Cody and Howie continued to ride ahead to keep the cattle in line while Rae directed the group over to the shade of the mesquite trees. Krista rode up and grimaced as she dismounted.
Adam welcomed her with a smack on the sore ass.
“Did that help?” he asked. “Here, do mine.” He stuck his backside out and Krista couldn’t help but smile. She smacked him firm and sharp. “Oh, harder, baby!” he cried.
Krista laughed, hitting him harder, stinging her hand. She shook it out as Candace approached.
“Yes!” the blonde pleaded enthusiastically. “Someone spank me!”
Adam grabbed Krista’s wrist. “Don’t even think about it, slick,” he whispered playfully in her ear. He then smacked Candace on the rear and she ran away giggling.
Krista laughed. “I wanted to smack the tits right off her.”
“Don’t hit those things.” He raised his hands in fright. “They’ll fight back. They ought to, as much as she paid for them.”
“I thought she was your friend!” Krista let out, bending over for breath.
“She is.”
“Jesus, I would hate to be your enemy.”
Adam pulled off his shades. “Trust me, I haven’t said anything she hasn’t heard before. And as far as Rae goes, Candi needs another lover like I need a hole in the head.”
Leaning on each other in laughter, Krista and Adam limped sorely up to the group. Most riders were sitting on the ground, drinking from their bottles and canteens. Tillie had her hat off, pulling her dark curls into a fresh ponytail. Krista noticed her sparkling blue-green eyes and wondered what her story was. She was beautiful in a very natural way.
Krista helped Rae pass out the prepared lunches of granola bars, apples, and sandwiches, then settled herself next to Tillie. A gentle breeze blew the long limbs of the tree they were under. Krista spread out a little and fought the urge to grunt in pain as the tightness in her legs seemed to grip her rib cage.
“Having a good time?” she asked.
Tillie was chewing, quietly studying their beautiful surroundings. She held her sandwich gracefully and Krista noticed the pale band of flesh on her ring finger. Because her skin was a dark olive in complexion, the absence of a ring was more than obvious. “I am, yes, thank you.”
“Good, I’m glad.” Though Tillie was beautiful, Krista wasn’t attracted to her in a physical sense. There was something different about her. A quiet intelligence, a deep sense of knowing, of living. Krista sensed that this woman had lived life and knew more than a thing or two. Again, she wondered about the unspoken sadness, about the scars that were hidden by her beauty but exposed in her eyes.
Krista swallowed a bite of her apple. “I wanted to thank you for putting up with Howie.”
Tillie chewed and smoothed down the denim on her thigh with her free hand. “No thanks needed. Men like him are rather simple, really.”
“I take it you speak from experience?”
“Unfortunately.”
“You’re a very beautiful woman. You must’ve put up with more than your fair share.”
Tillie took a sip of her water, her gaze still focused on the different shades of brown and green the desert offered. “Since I was thirteen. But I learned real quick how to handle them.”
“Care to share?” Krista chuckled. “Men are a complete enigma to me.”
“It depends on the man, of course. Someone like Howie, for instance, who obviously thinks with his penis and is interested in nothing other than scoring.” She shrugged. “You just have to take advantage of that. Talk to him, ask him for his help, and he’s putty. I think mostly it’s the attention he craves.”
Krista sighed, worried about his tongue-wagging and tail-chasing. “I hope you’re right.”
Tillie met her eyes. “If he drinks, well, that’s a different story.”
“He won’t be back for another outing,” Krista said, imagining how much worse his behavior could get if he drank. “At least not for this ranch he won’t. I just don’t trust him. Anyway, thanks for handling him.” She smiled. “So what about you? You married?”
Tillie started in on her granola bar and then lowered it as if she’d changed her mind. She narrowed her eyes out at the desert. “You know, I may have men like Howie figured out, but the rest of them, I’ll never understand.”
She looked once more at Krista, her eyes glossy and full of pain, then tossed the uneaten granola bar in her paper sack and stood, leaving Krista alone under the tree.
They finished lunch and relaxed for a short while, some talking low to one another, the rest silent, enjoying the afternoon breeze. Tillie spoke to no one, busying herself tending to her horse, adjusting the saddle and her gear even though Krista knew it needed no attention. Whatever the source of her pain, it remained a mystery.
Krista stood and stretched her sore legs as the annoying sound of Candace’s laughter reached her ears. The blonde stood in front of Rae, comparing the size of their hands. Krista studied Rae’s face, seeking any clue as to what the strong woman was thinking. But Rae caught her looking and lowered her hands to brush them on her jeans, calling out to the group.
“We better get a move on.”
For a few seconds, she held Krista’s eyes but Krista looked away, frustrated with the acid of jealousy eating her stomach.
The rest of the afternoon went by much like the morning. The group rode long and hard, following the direction of the wranglers and Rae, most too tired to keep trying to rope once evening began to settle in. Thankfully, they managed to keep the majority of the herd together and Cody rode off on his own to bring back the last one as they reached the campsite around six o’clock.
The group busied themselves unpacking their supplies and setting up their tents before it grew too dark to see. Krista erected her tent quickly, wanting for purely egotistical reasons to be the first one done. Hands on hips, seething with pride, she waited for Rae to notice and got a small nod of approval just as Candace declared, very Southern belle-like, that she needed help. Krista almost expected the blonde to raise a hand to her forehead and threaten to faint. “I declare, Rae, I’ve got the vapors and I can’t raise my tent without your help.”
Krista didn’t know why s
he was trying so hard to impress Rae in the first place. Candace was always there to cry wolf just to get her attention. Krista tried to distract herself by helping Tom thread his tent poles through the weather-resistant fabric. As they worked together, she glanced across at self-satisfied Candace, who was standing back as Rae put up the tent for her. Rae’s expression gave away none of her thoughts, and Krista wondered what kind of woman she was drawn to most, the kind that needed no help, or the kind that did. Whatever the answer, Krista knew she would never be the type to ask for help, attention, or anything else. She just wasn’t the helpless type, and she wouldn’t pretend otherwise.
As fatigue took hold of first her body and then her mind, Krista focused on other things. Like coffee, for instance. There was something about the way coffee smelled, the way it woke and stirred her senses first thing in the morning and then calmed and relaxed her in the evening. It was a mystery, but one she was very thankful for. She sipped from her mug and settled into a camp chair to watch Rae prepare dinner. The vet had politely fended off any help, preferring to make the meal herself. She set the big pot on the cooking rack over the fire, full of water, waiting for it to boil.
Krista knew that Rae was about to cook pasta, having packed the supplies herself. She’d kept to dried, nonperishable foods, mostly, thinking they would be easier to handle. Anything perishable was kept in one of two medium-sized coolers. These were packed to the brim with ice and would only stay cool for about two days. Then they would be replaced with newly iced coolers, brought out on fresh supply horses from the ranch. All in all, with the way things were turning out, Krista couldn’t be more pleased with the preparations she’d made.
She took another grateful sip of her coffee while Rae poured in the pasta. She stirred it with care, then rose to fetch the French bread and sauce. Soon the camp was smelling as divine as Krista’s favorite Italian restaurant miles away in Phoenix.
“Rae, I’m going to take you back to Boston with me,” Jenna teased. “To cook for us.”
Frank chuckled and agreed as the group settled in around the fire. All were dressed for the cooler night air in long-sleeved sweatshirts or flannels. They snuggled down with their arms tightly across their chests, hypnotized by the fire. Soon Rae had dinner finished and all were enjoying their bowls of rigatoni and seasoned tomato sauce. The French bread was toasted and buttered, the remainder of the red wine a real topper-offer of a treat.
As the fire crackled, Howie finished his mug of wine before his meal and shared what was on his mind. “So, Miss Wyler.” He grinned sheepishly. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Krista nearly choked on her warm bread. She had noticed him staring at her as she was eating, but she hoped he’d soon shift his attention back to his favorite target. Candace was sitting next to Adam, wearing jeans and a tight white tank top, no bra. The chill in the air puckered her nipples and Krista was convinced that if she so much as breathed heavy, her areolas would pop above the edge of the cotton for all to see. She ate slowly, slipping the fork in and out of her lips in dramatic fashion, her eyes fixed solely on Rae.
Howie’s eyes danced expectantly from across the flames and Jenna added to his question. “Yes, you know all about us, but we know so little about you.” She smiled, sincere in her words. “Do you have a husband? Kids?”
Krista eyed the remainder of her pasta with sudden distaste. She dropped in the last bite of bread and laid the bowl down next to her. Around the fire all eyes were trained on her, including Rae’s. Rae sat eating as she had the night before, leaning back against a large rock, her legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles. She’d slipped into a thick flannel shirt, but Krista could still see the muscles in her neck and jaw as she ate.
Krista disliked being the slide under the microscope, but she was hosting this adventure so she did her best to answer in a general sense, giving little detail. “No, I’m not married and I don’t have any children.” There, that ought to do it.
“Ever been married?” Frank asked.
Krista shook her head. “No.”
Howie was watching her carefully, his eyes darting down to the swell of her breasts and back up to her face. “Well, do you have a boyfriend?”
She clenched her teeth. The nerve. Was he going to hit on every woman in the group? She decided to play on his blatant ignorance. “No, Howie, I’ve been waiting my whole life just for you.”
The camp erupted in laughter and Howie looked around as if he didn’t get it at first. As if maybe she’d really meant it. Then, as anger washed over his face, he tossed down his bowl and bread and stormed away.
Adam was nearly rolling around in laughter. “Did you see his face? I think you broke his heart.”
“Broke his hard-on is more like it,” Tillie said, causing more outrageous laughter.
Krista laughed until her insides hurt. It felt good to laugh. Especially at Howie’s expense.
“Watch out, Jenna,” Adam said still chuckling. “You’re next.”
“He wouldn’t dare,” she murmured.
“He better not dare,” Frank declared, standing to adjust the waistband of his jeans.
“Then next it’ll be Rae,” Candace added.
“Me?” Rae looked surprised.
The group fell silent until Krista started laughing, unable to help herself. They all knew it would be a cold day in hell before Howie ever hit on Rae. Everyone laughed along with her at the absurdity, even Candace, though she seemed to have little clue as to what was so funny.
When they all quieted down again, Adam looked up from his bowl to focus in on Krista. “Aren’t you going to answer Howie’s question?”
Krista shot him a look, letting him know that he would “get it” tomorrow, one way or another. He merely grinned, putting the Cheshire cat to shame.
“No, I don’t have a boyfriend.” She decided to make it perfectly clear. “I don’t have anyone.”
There were some nods of understanding and she was pleased, thinking the questions were finished. But then, after a series of loud crackles from the fire, Rae asked, “Why not?”
Why not? Krista felt her body heat in anger. Why not? She was just about to smart off to her when Adam added, “Yeah, why not?”
All eyes were once again on her and she could almost feel herself squirm. “I don’t believe in love. I don’t believe it really exists.” She nearly slapped a hand over her mouth. The response had come from nowhere.
“Don’t believe in love?” Jenna sounded saddened.
Krista felt the need to defend herself. “No, I don’t believe in love. I believe in lust, I believe in having a good time, but love…” She lowered her eyes. “In my opinion it doesn’t exist. It’s just what people fool themselves into believing, afraid of being alone.” Yet, I crave it more than anything in the world, wishing it did exist. I’m a hypocrite.
“Then how do you explain the euphoria people feel when they fall in love?” asked Tom. “There’s scientific proof. Quite a few studies have shown that a chemical change happens in the brain. There are increased levels of testosterone, estrogen, serotonin, norepinephrine, and oxytocin, to name a few.”
Krista smiled. Tom was obviously an intelligent man and a nice man. She wondered why he usually kept so quiet. “Oh, I believe they really do feel something. It’s called infatuation and lust. The honeymoon syndrome. Rarely does it last.”
“So you’re going to live your life alone because you don’t believe in love? Have you ever given it a chance?” Adam seemed genuinely curious.
“Wait a minute,” Tom interrupted. “You’re mistaking the honeymoon feeling for love. It’s my belief that there are two parts to love. Sexual attraction and attachment. One experiences chemical changes during both stages.” His eyes narrowed at her in thought. “You’ve probably never felt the need for attachment. Have you ever actually felt anything close to love?”
This time Krista did squirm. She wasn’t sure what to say. She’d felt lust and infatuation before. “I don’t think so.�
�� She spoke the words softly, deep in thought.
“If you’re not sure, then that means no,” Tom clarified.
“Yeah, that’s like saying you’re aren’t sure if you’ve ever had an orgasm,” Candace added, obviously pleased to be able to contribute to such a conversation.
All nodded in agreement and Krista felt frustrated and exposed. She was about to get up and excuse herself when Tillie asked, “Can we please change the subject?”
Her beautiful face was tight and stern looking. She stood and carried her bowl swiftly to the cleaning station, leaving an air of discomfort.
Adam and Candace collected everyone’s bowls, including Krista’s and Rae’s. Frank rummaged through the supplies and held up a roll of biodegradable toilet paper in victory. In his other hand he turned on his flashlight and announced, “I’m off to take my constitutional.”
Jenna smacked him on the arm. “No one wants to hear that.”
Shrugging, he scooted off into the darkness, the thin halo of light leading his way.
“Who wants the last of the wine?” Jenna asked.
Krista held up a declining hand, as did Rae.
Jenna poured what was left in her own mug. As she settled into her chair once again, she said, “Rae, I see you brought your guitar. How about playing a little for us?”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh, come on,” Jenna encouraged. “Entertain us a little.”
Rae uncrossed her feet and rubbed her hands on her jeans in obvious nervousness. “I don’t ever sing my songs in front of anyone.”
Krista was moved by her modesty. She was incredibly adorable and didn’t even know it.
Adam came to stand before the shy vet. He held out a hand. “Then sing someone else’s songs. We’ll all know the words and we can help you sing.”
Krista smiled, reminded as to why she liked Adam so much. After a brief pause, and some more encouragement, Rae took the offered hand and stood, brushing off her backside as she walked to her horse. Past her, Krista spotted Howie in the near distance leaning up against a dead saguaro. His arms were folded and his face looked ragged and tired. She thought briefly about apologizing to him but then changed her mind. He needed to be called on his behavior, and she was the one to do it too, being the leader of the gang, so to speak.