by Ronica Black
When she’d awakened in the hospital the pain in her foot was all too real. It was badly broken in numerous places and took two surgeries, several pins, and many months to heal.
Her first day back on the ranch, the following summer, she’d used her cane to walk out to the stables to go check on Sonny. With her aunt Judith at her side, she’d reached out to touch him and tried to stroke his nose. His eyes went wide with fear and he reared back again, just as he’d done during the storm, this time afraid of her. She remembered the accident and realized that he did too. The crack and flash of the lightning bolt, the harnessed panic of her horse—it all caused her to jump with fright in the middle of the night, just as her horse did at her touch.
After that she couldn’t bring herself to go near any of the horses. The memory of it all was as fresh as the rain.
Krista continued to cling to Dollar as she saw Rae take off at a fast gallop up ahead, leaving Dwight behind. A part of her was glad she’d been left behind. She didn’t have to worry about holding her own or about staring at Rae’s raw beauty, then feeling the sharp stab of rejection each time Rae looked away from her.
Her thoughts returned to Judith and her heart ached even more. Upset, she wiped her eyes and pulled her uncle’s hat down lower. Thunder cracked again and she winced as if it had touched her. Maybe she should give in to her fear and return to the ranch. No one would think it odd. There were things to take care of, arrangements to be made.
She was seriously considering doing so when Dwight approached. He had an unusual fleck of mischief in his eyes that Krista had only ever seen when he drank with Clinton and beat him at poker. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.” Should I turn around and go back? Now’s the time.
“Of course you are, darlin’.” He smiled.
“Why are you so damn happy?” She examined him carefully, unable to understand his high spirits.
He and his horse fell into step with Dollar. “I’m just thinking of your aunt is all.”
“Oh?” At the mention of Judith, Krista’s determination suddenly kicked in and she gave Dollar a slight kick, the thought of returning to the ranch long gone.
“She was always right, you know.”
Krista nodded. “Always. Even when she wasn’t.”
Dwight chuckled. “Yes, sir.”
“So what’s she right about this time?”
Dwight didn’t respond immediately; he spat and stared off into the distance.
“You.”
“Me?”
“Uh-huh.”
“What about me?”
“I swore I wouldn’t say.”
Krista scoffed. “Come on, Dwight. You can’t feed me lines like that and then not expect me to bite.”
Silence ensued, the rain, thunder, and wind the only noise.
Dwight looked up at the sky and turned his palm up to catch the drops of rain. “I can feel her out here,” he said. “Like she’s all around.”
Krista too looked around and breathed deep. The earthy scent of the rain, the blowing trees, the bright colorful blooms of the wet wildflowers, all of it was Judith. “Me too.”
Dwight continued, deep in thought. “She loved this land. Almost more than she loved Clinton.”
Krista laughed. “Yes, she did.” After another brief moment of silence she asked again, too anxious not to, “So what about me was she right about?”
Dwight glanced over at her. “I told you, I swore I wouldn’t tell.”
Krista sighed. Was she proud of her? Of how she turned the ranch around? Or was she disappointed? Upset that she’d stayed away so long? She had to know. Otherwise it was going to eat her alive.
“Did I not do something right?” Maybe it was the horse. After all, Dwight hadn’t mentioned anything until he rode up and looked at her and Dollar. “It’s the way I’m riding the horse, isn’t it? Because I’m afraid again, because of the storm.”
She felt ill, like she might throw up. Her aunt was gone now, and Krista had been a big disappointment.
“Of course not!” Dwight exclaimed. “She was always proud of you, Krista. Even when you were gone she was always bragging about you, saying how hard a worker you were and how successful you were. She was very proud.”
Krista swallowed hard. “Even now?”
Dwight cleared his throat. “Especially now.” He winked at her.
As a small flood of relief washed through Krista, they both caught sight of Rae streaking toward them. When she stopped she was out of breath and she and Shamrock were covered in mud from their gallop.
“They’re just ahead,” she gasped. “They’re okay. They’d already started heading back.”
Krista nearly collapsed with relief. “Oh, thank God.”
Rae nodded, catching her breath. “They have most of the cattle, but there are a few strays not far behind.” She looked to Krista. “I’m going to send the group on ahead to you. You and Cody can lead them back to the ranch. Dwight and I will go after the strays.”
“No.”
“What?” Rae squinted at her in disbelief.
“Dwight, you take the group,” Krista said in a tone that did not invite argument. “I’m going with Dr. Jarrett. My aunt would do the same.” After all the talk of how proud Judith was of her, she wasn’t about to back down now. She felt she had to do this.
“Absolutely not,” Rae countered.
Krista returned her stare. She wanted to argue but she knew it would get her nowhere. She was inexperienced and scared shitless of her horse, but she wasn’t about to let that stop her. Judith was all around her, and Judith wouldn’t allow fear to stand in her way either.
“Let’s get to the group and discuss it there.” Krista clicked and clung to Dollar as he gained speed.
Rae and Dwight rode alongside her, Rae talking quickly.
“There’s nothing to discuss. The wayward cattle need to be brought in and you’re in no position to do it.”
Krista kept her gaze ahead. “Neither are you and Dwight. Not in this weather. It’s not safe for anyone.”
“It’s too dangerous, Krista!” Rae bit out, her expression fierce. “I don’t need your damned help!”
Krista turned her head sharply to look at her. “Now who’s the one being stubborn?”
Rae closed her mouth and clenched her strong jaw. She clicked at Shamrock and rode on ahead to meet the group.
Chapter Nineteen
Rae offered the soaking-wet group of wranglers a smile as she approached for the second time. Shamrock slowed to a stop as she took in their tired faces and glistening hats and jackets. Each one of them returned the smile sincerely.
“How’s Mrs. Wyler?” Cody asked tentatively.
Filled with regret, Rae said, “She passed away yesterday.”
The group hung their heads in sorrow but they perked up again as Krista rode into sight.
“Look at us,” Adam declared, waving his hat in the air. “We’re real live bona fide cowboys now!”
Krista smiled but her eyes were pained. “I guess so,” she said. “After all that you’ve been through.”
Frank laughed. “This has been the most fun I’ve had in ages.”
Everyone agreed.
Krista looked at each of them and for a moment Rae feared that she might cry. But she smiled once more. “Then you’re all absolutely crazy.”
More laughter.
When she spoke again she sounded professional and confident and she held herself erect, her head high. Rae respected her courage. “We’re going to have you all ride with Dwight the rest of the way. You’re only two hours out, so it’s not far.”
“Two more hours and I get a nice hot shower.” Candace beamed.
“Sounds wonderful,” Jenna agreed.
“And I wanted to take the time to thank you all again for your patience and understanding. You’ll all be given free return visits should you choose to come back.”
Adam whooped. “Hell, yeah.”
“
Not anytime soon,” Tom said with a smile. “I need to get a new ass first.”
Krista laughed, as did the others. She felt her stomach drop as she watched Rae interact with everyone but her. She was so friendly and easy; she’d been the same with the firemen who’d helped deal with Clinton. Apparently she had been a volunteer firefighter at one time, so they had something in common. An image of Rae in a fireman’s uniform caused fluttering in Krista’s chest, and she raised a trembling hand to her temple. Wanting Rae so badly and seeing how warm she could be made Krista’s pain all the more real. She still couldn’t believe Rae had rejected her after she felt so close. Rae had maintained a distance ever since and Krista knew she had done the same, to protect herself.
Getting over Rae was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She felt her throat tighten. That kind of pain would even overshadow Judith’s passing.
“We’re sorry to hear about your aunt,” Tillie said.
Krista nodded as her eyes welled. “Thank you.”
Everyone bowed their heads in a long moment of silence. The rain fell all around them, mirroring the mood.
Rae watched in continued silence as Dwight tipped his hat to her and took off with the group, leaving her alone with Krista. She still didn’t understand why Krista insisted on being the one to help. The progress she’d made on the trail with Dollar seemed to be all but forgotten. She was once again hanging onto the horse for dear life.
“Don’t say a word,” Krista said, apparently having caught the look Rae was giving her.
Rae spoke anyway. “I just don’t understand why you want to do this.”
They turned the horses and rode back toward the creek. Krista held on tightly and tensed her body, just as she’d done the first day out. “Haven’t you ever done something just because you needed to do it again?”
“Like what?”
Krista looked over at her. “Like facing a fear.”
Rae allowed the words to register. “Sure.”
“Well that’s what I’m doing. I know it may not make sense to you, but it’s something I have to do.”
“Actually it makes a lot of sense.” Rae paused, working up the courage to ask, “There was an accident, wasn’t there? With a horse?”
Krista stiffened. “Yes.”
“You’re very brave to face it.”
“I don’t feel brave.”
“You are.” Rae offered a smile.
Krista started to return it but then her expression changed and her eyes were guarded again. Rae sensed that the topic was closed so she pushed on, leaving Krista a little behind.
When she reached the creek, the sight of it nearly overwhelmed her. The water, an ugly muddy brown, churned and rushed with power. The bank of river rocks had disappeared, consumed by the rising water. She spotted several cattle, one of them on the other side of the creek, and a few more scattered between her and Krista.
“Shit,” she whispered, knowing the one across the creek was lost, at least for now. The water was too deep and powerful to cross. They would have to wait and come back for the animal after the storm.
As she organized her thoughts, deciding which of the remaining strays to go after first, Krista barreled past her, riding Dollar right into the creek. Rae’s heart leapt out of her chest.
“Krista!” she shouted.
Dollar hit the water hard, slowing with each step. Krista urged him on as Rae watched helplessly.
“She’s crazy! She’s out of her mind crazy!” Rae kicked at Shamrock, thinking right away of going after her. But when Krista turned and saw her, she held up a hand.
“No, don’t!”
Shamrock had her two front hooves just under the whipping water.
“What?” Rae could barely hear over the rush of the creek.
“Stay there!” Krista yelled.
“But you’ll get yourself killed!” Rae began going over a plan in case Krista fell. She could she throw her rope out to her. Hopefully, Krista was a good swimmer.
“Stay there! I know what I’m doing! I know this creek!” Krista faced forward again, urging Dollar on. The water swirled and shoved against the middles of his legs and Rae was surprised when it went no higher. Krista and Dollar walked slowly onto land, where Krista slid off him to rope the cow.
Once the rope was secure, she climbed back onto Dollar and moved him quickly into the water once again. They entered at the same spot and Dollar moved easier this time, more confident. Rae watched in amazement as Krista led them through the raging water. When she and Dollar reached the other side, Krista slid off her horse and came over to Rae. They both stared at the cow standing a few feet away, suddenly frozen in the middle of the creek.
“Great,” Krista said.
They tugged on the rope but the cow wouldn’t move, fright evident in its eyes.
“Come on,” Krista said, limping into the water.
“Wait! Krista!” Rae stumbled in after her, not having time to think.
“Just hold on to the rope and you’ll be fine,” Krista called over to her. Rae did as instructed, the rough rope biting into her hand as she squeezed it. Soon the rushing water was pressing against her upper thighs and she let go when Krista did to lean into the cow.
Krista had her back to the surge and Rae had the protection of the large cow to stop the onslaught. Both of them pushed on the animal, which stood its ground, mooing in response.
“Damn it, move!” Krista yelled.
Rae smacked the cow hard on the backside.
Nothing.
Krista did the same.
Nothing.
Rae watched, puzzled as Krista set her jaw and moved to the stray’s rear.
“I’ve only seen this done once, but it’s worth a shot.” Bracing herself against the water, Krista lifted the tail and shoved her hand up inside the cow. A loud moo erupted and the large heifer moved quickly.
Krista pulled out her hand and moved with her, reaching for the rope just as Rae did. But the sudden movement of the cow had dragged Rae off-balance. The water surged against her, knocking her feet out from under her. She clung to the rope but was at once sucked under by the current. Beneath the raging water, she kicked and fought to regain her footing, but the water was too strong. She tried to pull herself above the surface but could only manage to sneak a small breath.
I’m going to die.
The water raged around her, beyond her, uncaring and unrelenting. She could feel the cow moving and she knew she wouldn’t be able to hang on long. Just as her chest began to burn and her vision began to tunnel, she felt a strong arm under hers and she popped up out of the water.
“Rae! Rae, hang on!” Krista hauled them both ashore, collapsing next to the stubborn cow. Rae coughed and turned over to spit up some water. She gratefully sucked in big, ragged gulps of air.
“You’re crazy,” Rae wheezed, glancing at Krista as she lay back on her elbows.
Krista pushed back her hair, breathing hard. “What happened to hellfire?”
Rae laughed and coughed. “That too.”
Krista looked over at the cow. “Never leave a man behind.”
Rae laughed even harder, rolling over to push herself up. She stood and offered Krista her hand. “Come on, cowgirl, let’s get these cattle back to the ranch.”
Krista took her hand eagerly and her breath caught as they stood close, staring into each other’s eyes. Rae was drowning again, this time in Krista. No words were spoken. Just ragged breaths. The rain beat down around them, the water surged behind them, the sky cracked, and the lightning flashed. None of it compared to Krista.
Reaching out, Rae tugged Krista to her and pressed her mouth to her, tongue right away searching and seeking. She heard Krista groan and felt the soft wet of her tongue meeting hers head-on.
Feeling the rush of wet heat between her legs, Rae pulled away, panicked.
Krista stared at her, chest heaving. There were flames in her eyes. “What is it?”
Rae couldn’t sp
eak. She had no answer.
Krista continued to search her face. “Is it because I stuck my hand up a cow?”
Rae laughed softly. “No.”
Krista reached out and touched her cheek. “This is the clean hand,” she whispered.
Rae closed her eyes as the wet, warm hand stroked her skin.
“Tell me why, Rae.”
Rae opened her eyes. Her heart was nearly beating over itself. “I can’t.” Her voice was tight. I could never handle losing you.
“Can’t what?” Krista’s eyes were sparkling green and soft with sincerity. “Whatever it is…”
Rae looked away. “It’s not something that can be fixed. It’s not something that will go away.” Death is inevitable. She felt the hand drop from her face.
“Then why kiss me? Why make love to me?”
Rae couldn’t answer. She had none.
“Look at me, Rae, please.”
Rae sucked in a painful breath at the familiar words. Shannon’s last words. “We need to get going,” she rasped, climbing onto Shamrock.
With her rope in hand, she gently kicked the horse and galloped off into the rain, aiming at a nearby calf. Angrily, she wiped away the burning tears and remembered Dwight’s words.
You can run, Doc. But you can’t run forever.
*
Krista followed Rae at a careful distance. Her body trembled but it was no longer from fear. Behind her, the cow they’d rescued trudged along, securely tied. But that didn’t stop Krista from roping two others and getting them into line at the edge of the herd.
Overhead the thick clouds wept more rain and the chill of the evening began to set in. Krista fought off tears, fed up with crying. She had no idea why Rae kept reeling her in only to push her away, but she wasn’t going to let it happen again. She held her head high and did her best to ignore the handsome vet altogether. The ranch was just ahead and there would be plenty for her to do to keep her mind occupied.
She rode Dollar to the stables as the whistles from the cattle pens echoed through the damp air. The group had already boarded their horses but they weren’t inside warming up. They were sorting the cattle, following Dwight and Cody’s instructions. They’d come a long way, and standing in the pouring rain in their weathered cowboy hats and jeans, they looked like real wranglers.