Val stared down at the concrete floor and swallowed heavily. When he looked up a moment later and found Maksim, his heart was in his eyes.
Maksim took his hand.
“You two are the cutest,” Amelia clucked. “So tell me what you’re struggling with, and I’ll see if I can match you with one of my dogs.”
“Uh…” Val cleared his throat. “Anxiety, I guess.”
“Depression?” Amelia’s gaze was shrewd. “They often go together.”
“No,” Val said firmly. “No, I’m not depressed.”
“Okay.”
“I have nightmares. I, um, sometimes think I’m dying. I won’t be able to breathe, and I feel like my heart’s about to explode. I can’t control my breathing. I’ve…” He paused. His hand was like steel in Maksim’s grip. “I’ve passed out a couple times.”
“Okay.” Amelia was all business. Undoubtedly this wasn’t the first time she’d heard a story like Val’s. Nor was it the worst story she’d ever heard, Maksim imagined. “Are you able to recognize your triggers?”
Val shrugged.
“No,” Maksim supplied for him. “Fatigue plays a part, but trying to slow him down is like trying to jump in front of a train.”
“My kind of man.” Amelia tapped a blunt finger against her pursed lips. “Hmm. I’ve got two that might suit you. Wait here.”
She wandered over to the other side of the kennel, whistling sharply.
Maksim squeezed Val’s fingers, and all at once Val seemed to realize he was cutting off his circulation. He immediately released his grip.
Maksim flexed his fingers and then recaptured Val’s hand, in a looser grip this time.
“Are you okay with this?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.” Maksim stepped close to him. He ducked his head so his voice wouldn’t carry. “I wanted you to have a look. That’s all. I don’t want to force you into something you’re not comfortable with. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.”
Val’s eyes were as steady as the beat of a heart.
“Thanks, Maks.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I think it’s worth a try.”
Maksim couldn’t contain his relief.
“So do I,” he whispered, and kissed Val’s cheek.
“Here we go!” Amelia pitched her voice to carry across the kennel as she approached them with a lead in each hand. Maksim supposed she had a lot of practice being sure not to startle her customers. “Meet Rocky and Annabelle.”
Maksim and Val separated. They studied the two canines walking sedately at Amelia’s side. One was black and tan, with pointed ears like a Shepherd but a rounded head like a Labrador. The other was a petite Golden Retriever.
“Rocky is brilliant at filtering social anxiety cues,” Amelia motioned to the black and tan. “As far as we can figure, he’s a Malinois cross of some kind. Smart as a whip and doesn’t spook easily. But then, none of my dogs do.”
Val was already down on his knees, ruffling Rocky’s jowls and fondling his ears. “Social situations aren’t really a problem for me,” he sounded regretful. “It comes on when things get quiet.”
“Then Annabelle here might be your lady.” Amelia patted the Retriever’s head. “She’s one of the best I’ve ever seen with panic attack interruption. She knows they’re coming before you do.”
Val held out his knuckles for Annabelle to sniff. She gave him a dainty lick and her tail swished on the floor so hard that her entire back end waggled. Val chuckled and stroked her silky ears.
“Once you pick a dog, both of you will come back here once a week for a six-week intensive training program. Is that going to work for you?”
Annabelle had her muzzle shoved up beneath Val’s armpit and he was speaking to her in a low voice that reminded Maksim of the tender way Val spoke to Emma when she was struggling.
He already knew what the answer would be when Val lifted his head and said, “Yeah. I can make that work.”
Amelia smiled.
“Looks like you’ve got yourself a new lady in your life.”
6
The dark sky sifted down fluffy snowflakes the size of popcorn.
Maksim stood at the bedroom window, sipping a Rye & Ginger and gazing at the man and animal scrapping through the snow in their backyard.
Valentine Rivetti had so many good qualities. He was quick thinking, loyal, hardworking, and kind. But if he’d ever been lighthearted by nature, life had effectively extinguished the tendency. Watching him frolic like a child with a new pet was an unexpected treat that pulled strangely at Maksim’s heart.
There had been a lightness to Val’s body language ever since they’d loaded Annabelle into the back of the Mercedes. The ever-present tension in his shoulders had noticeably lessened.
He kept reminding himself that it was insane to be jealous of an animal, but that didn’t keep him from an embarrassing spate of resentment that Val found more reassurance in a dog than him.
He knew why. He knew Val wanted to be strong in front of him. Val struggled to admit his vulnerability, but no pretense was necessary with a dog.
God, please let her help.
Maksim wasn’t much for prayer. But he meant this one with every fiber of his heart.
He downed the last swallow of his drink and began stripping out of his suit.
He’d just bunched his dress shirt into a ball and shot it into the hamper when a pair of cold arms wrapped around his bare torso. The scent of icy fresh air clung to Val’s skin as he pressed against Maksim’s back.
“Jesus, you’re freezing!” Maksim shivered.
“You’ll warm me up, right?” Val’s warm lips contrasted with his cold nose as he dragged his mouth up the side of Maksim’s neck.
Maksim folded his hand over Val’s where they lay flat against his stomach, instinctively attempting to thaw their cold tips.
“Where’s your new best friend?”
“On her pillow downstairs.”
“She’s supposed to sleep in here with us, you know. She needs to learn your sleep patterns, so she can recognize when a nightmare starts.”
“Mmm.” Val’s tongue lapped right behind his ear at the juncture of his neck and jaw. “I’ll bring her up later. Dogs are creepy when they watch humans having sex.”
Maksim chuckled. Val’s hand spanned his jaw, and he gently tipped Maksim’s head back to allow himself better access. He sucked Maksim’s earlobe into his mouth and bit gently.
“I haven’t thanked you yet,” he murmured.
“You don’t need to thank me.”
“I do.” Val released him and turned him carefully in his arms.
Maksim stared into his pale eyes, and his heart almost cracked in two at the glassy sheen welling up in them.
“I need you to know how sorry I am that you have to put up with my bullshit.”
“I don’t—”
Val pressed a finger to Maksim’s lips. “I’ve never had anyone whose judgment I could trust when my own failed. I need you to know how thankful I am that you watch out for me. I don’t show it enough, I know that. But it matters all the same.”
Maintaining eye contact, Maksim captured the finger pressed against his lips and deftly sucked it into his mouth.
Val gasped.
Maksim tasted salt as he laved the blunt head of Val’s fingertip, sucking lightly, just as he always did with Val’s cock.
Val stared at him, mouth agape, pupils blown wide, watching as Maksim turned lapping at his digit into something erotic. For a long moment, they remained like that, frozen, balanced on a highwire stretched taut between them. Then, in one sweet instant, Val grabbed him and they fell.
He pulled his finger free and yanked Maksim forward by the hair, sealing their mouths together with a groan of pure need.
Maksim opened his mouth willingly, reveling in the satin slide of Val’s tongue against his. They kissed for what felt like an eternity, slow and deep.
Maksim wasn’t usually a vocal lov
er, but he knew the breathy moans in the room were coming from his own throat. He didn’t give a damn. He wanted more of this delicious closeness.
He wanted to crawl inside Val and take up space right behind that fierce heart of his.
His hands crept beneath Val’s shirt, sliding appreciatively over his defined abs and chest.
Val broke their kiss and reared back, peeling his shirt over his head before reaching impatiently for Maksim’s belt.
Maksim gave one nipple a tormenting pinch, placing open-mouthed kisses along the strip of muscle between his neck and shoulder. He sucked lightly on the skin above Val’s collarbone, and when he heard Val’s encouraging, “Fuck, yes!” he sucked harder.
Making love to Val was like no sex Maksim had ever experienced. He’d known passion plenty of times, but it had never been so intense. There were no pretenses with Val.
It was always paradise, and Maksim’s voice cracked when he told Val as much.
Val grabbed a bottle of lube from the end table and shoved him back onto their mattress. Maksim shivered as he slid down his naked body.
Val’s mouth was all tight suction and heat so intense that Maksim’s cock felt like he’d thrust it into the molten core of the sun. His tongue was strong and wet as it rubbed the sensitive vein beneath Maksim’s cockhead, and one slick finger teased his hole open.
Maksim threw back his head with a groan that felt like it had been wrenched straight from his DNA.
Neither of them needed much prep these days, so Maksim had barely blinked the stars from his eyes when Val slid home inside him.
He spasmed around Val’s girth, and Val cursed, dropping his head into the sheltering curve of Maksim’s neck.
“I love you so much,” Val whispered into his damp skin. “You’ll never know…”
“I know,” Maksim assured him, spreading his thighs wide and rocking his hips up to take him deeper. “I know. I waited my whole life for you, Valentine Rivetti. I’ve killed for you. I’d die for you.”
“Maks.”
Val’s thrusts became frantic. He pounded against Maksim’s ass like he was trying to force himself all the way to his throat. They gasped and grunted with every lunge, mattress creaking beneath them, and Maksim wondered if Annabelle could hear them downstairs.
His orgasm ripped through him so suddenly that his thoughts scattered like buckshot.
Val’s hips ground down against Maksim’s pelvis and his entire body locked up. He froze in place, propped on his arms above Maksim, biceps quaking as he moaned low in his throat. His expression was one of pure torment.
Maksim leaned up to kiss him. He reveled in the way Val’s lips clung to him, even in the throes of pleasure, even as he pumped his hot release into Maksim’s aching channel.
He was fiercely glad that he’d never had another long-term relationship, and only Val had ever spilled inside him.
When the earthquake had ebbed, Val lowered himself until he was laying fully atop Maksim with his legs inside the cradle of Maksim’s parted thighs. His cock was still nestled inside him, and Maksim wasn’t in any hurry for him to move.
He slid his hands up Val’s heaving flanks, rubbing the solid round musculature of his arms and shoulders.
They lay entwined for a long while. Their bodies cooled and Maksim closed his eyes, listening as the drum of blood in his ears abated and Val’s shattered breath eased.
“You’re so beautiful,” Val murmured, kissing his lips one more time. “Thank you for today.”
Maksim smiled lazily. “You’re welcome. Always.”
“I’m… kind of hopeful. Annabelle might be able to stop me from backsliding any more. The anniversary of Mom and Pop’s deaths are behind me, anyway.”
“Until next year,” Maksim reminded him gently.
“Yeah.” Val twined their fingers together. “But that gives me a whole year of distance and therapy and good memories to replace the bad.”
“You can do it,” Maksim assured him. “Annabelle, Emma, and I will be here every step of the way.”
“I know you will.” Val rested his head on Maksim’s chest and Maksim wrapped his arms around him.
A current of air from the heating vents chilled his damp skin, but there was no way in hell he was moving out of the circle of Val’s arms for the foreseeable future.
After a moment, Val chuckled to himself.
“What’s so funny?”
“Just thinking about Emma’s reaction.”
Maksim groaned. “I can hear it already. In surround sound.”
“You can tell her,” Val grinned. “And in payment, I won’t make you get on the roof with me to fix the crooked Santa this weekend.”
Maksim dropped a kiss into his hair and breathed the scent of mint and man and just… Val.
“Deal,” he said.
Crystalline ice constructs decorated the porch railing. Battery operated lanterns flickered at regular intervals, gleaming off the frost and assisting the last rays of dying light in the winter sky.
It was early in the evening, but Maksim’s stomach rumbled.
They’d nibbled throughout the day, but they’d all agreed to save room for the enormous Christmas dinner they’d prepared together.
Emma had spent the afternoon with powdered sugar on her nose, stuffing cannoli shells and slipping stray pieces of bacon to Annabelle, who sat patiently under their feet.
Val had baked manicotti from his mother’s recipe, and together he and Maksim had tackled an attempt at pierogi.
They’d just taken lemon and raspberry flavored kolach from the oven, and the scent of their waiting feast teased them through the cracked windows.
Those damn holiday carols were piping through their wireless speaker, but Maksim found them easier to bear with a rum-laced eggnog in his hand.
“I’m staaaaarving,” Emma moaned.
She wore a fuzzy pink hat with long ear flaps and sat with Annabelle on an Adirondack chair. She’d wrapped a thick blanket around her shoulders and tucked the edges around the dog so that only their heads were peeking out. The Golden Retriever panted happily, a big doggy smile on her furry face.
The service animal rarely left Val’s side. Maksim would often enter a room only to discover Annabelle resting her head on Val’s thigh, sitting calmly while he stroked her satiny head in a meditative rhythm.
In only a few days, she’d proved her worth time and again, but she was much more than a service animal. She’d seamlessly slotted into place in their little family, as if they’d been waiting for her.
“What if it’s too cloudy to see any stars?” Emma asked.
“It’s a cold and clear night. We’ll see one,” Val replied, coming up behind Maksim and wrapping a chenille throw around his shoulders. Maksim leaned back into him, relishing his solid strength.
“But if we don’t,” Emma fretted, “you won’t actually make us wait to eat until we see one?”
“Don’t you want to try Christmas the Ukrainian way?” Maksim asked wryly. He passed his glass to Val, who took a quick sip of eggnog before handing it back.
“I’d rather celebrate it the way that’s going to give me presents and food,” she muttered, but Maksim caught the smile she hid in the dog’s fur.
“Have you noticed she’s made complaining into an art form?” Val rumbled against his ear.
“Miguel assures me it’s normal for her age.”
“How would he know?”
“He has a lot of nieces, apparently.”
He relaxed against Val’s bulk, pressing full length against him from thigh to shoulder, and was gratified by the way Val’s arms tightened around him.
The warmth he felt in his chest had little to do with the rum and everything to do with joy.
He’d never known what he was missing in his solitary life, but now that he’d found Val, he’d never be without this feeling again. He’d carry it with him, tucked into the corner of his heart that hadn’t been touched by cynicism and sarcasm.
�
�What are you thinking?” Val murmured, resting his chin on Maksim’s shoulder.
“How lucky we are,” Maksim admitted, though it wasn’t his style to be so sentimental.
Val took him by the jaw and craned his head around to kiss him. Maksim licked the spiced rum and sweet cream from his tongue, glorying in the taste beneath that was just Val.
“Oh! Look!” There was a clatter as Emma leaped from her chair and raced to the railing. She pointed to the horizon, just above the evergreen forest, where the sky was melting from gray to black.
Val pulled reluctantly from their kiss, dropping a regretful peck at the corner of his mouth, and they both turned to look where she’d pointed.
Above the treeline, the first star of the evening glimmered like a speck of fairy dust.
“The first star,” Maksim murmured, content.
Val’s smile was sweet and steady and full of hope. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
“Merry Christmas.”
Afterword
Thanks for reading! I hope these novellas made you smile and spread some holiday cheer.
Want to be notified of exclusive fan content and news? Sign up for my mailing list HERE!
The Cabrini Law series returns in January 2020 with Other Than Honorable! Pre-order HERE.
Happy Holidays!
- Parker
Also by Parker St. John
Risk Assessment
Murder Aforethought
Other Than Honorable
The Rules of Gift Giving:
A Cabrini Christmas Collection
About Parker St. John
I’ve been a fan of LGBT romance since before ebooks were a thing. In between putting words on paper, I’ve been: a paramedic, a newspaper ad copy manager, a server, and a historical actor. Out of all those professions, writing is by far the best. I hope that my readers feel a little less alone in the world after reading one of my books.
The Rules of Gift Giving Page 12