“Because, I find you so much more interesting,” she said. She smiled, and Darius could see a large gap between her front teeth.
“Nevertheless, it’s improper for us to be alone. Go back to Anthony. I have some business to attend to. Run along.”
Reluctantly, Justina left the room. Darius waited until she was out of sight and went to the window. He could see the dining hall across the courtyard where he saw his father smiling and talking to Cassius. Pius didn’t appear to be angry. Darius felt someone standing beside him and thought Justina had returned. He was just about to chastise her when he saw his mother, Valeria.
“Your father missed you tonight, Darius,” she said.
“I know. I’d forgotten the dinner with Cassius was tonight.”
“Where were you, Darius?” She knew where he’d been, but she wanted him to tell her.
“You know very well where I was, Mother.” He smiled. The moon was bright, and she could see his face. She smiled back at him.
“You know he’s concerned about you. You’re the eldest son, Darius, and there are expectations. He kept you out of the military to protect you and his lineage.”
She loved her eldest son. He was so like her. Anthony was a big bear of a boy, rough and crude, but Darius was refined and mannerly. She was very concerned about his gambling, and she sincerely hoped he would break the habit soon. Pius had put his foot down, and he would no longer pay Darius’ gambling debts. She hoped Darius would see it as an awakening. His reputation was tarnished among the patrician community, and if he continued his dissolute behaviors, his chances of finding a suitable wife would dwindle even further.
Darius sat on the windowsill and drew his knees up, putting his arms around his legs.
“Mother, if I don’t pay the moneylender, he’ll kill me.” He watched for her reaction.
“Surely he wouldn’t touch a patrician, Darius. That’s utter nonsense.” Valeria crossed her arms over her chest.
“No, Mother, he would kill me just as easily as look at me. He doesn’t care about my lineage. He only cares about his money.” She was watching her son’s face, and knew he was telling the truth.
“I can’t defy your father, Darius. I…could give you the money, but he would find out eventually. That would cause a rift between us that I cannot afford.”
“So what do I do, Mother? Should I run away, or stay and risk losing my life over father’s prideful arrogance?”
“Don’t you dare blame your father for this, Darius. You went to that dreadful place and you borrowed money from that…person. You have a fine toga that would fetch a good price. I suggest you begin selling what you can. Clean up this debt or your father will ask you to leave.” Valeria turned and left the room.
“I love you too, Mother,” Darius said as she walked away. He looked up at the stars. How had he gotten to this place? He’d always been a good boy, but the day he walked into the tavern all that had changed.
A year ago Darius had accompanied a group of friends to the tavern. They were on their way to Germania, and Darius had offered to pay for their drinks. As they sat drinking and joking about military life, Darius noticed men in the back throwing dice. He’d never gambled before in his life, but something about the sound of the dice hitting the floor attracted him. He left his friends and joined the men in the back.
Darius took some coins out of his purse. He threw the dice and won the pot. The adrenaline rush he got from anticipating his next throw was intoxicating. He barely remembered his friends leaving the tavern at dawn and only left when the owner kicked him out.
When Darius left his house the next day, he went right back to the tavern. Soon, he was on his knees throwing the dice. In two days he had lost a month’s allowance, and he swore he would never come back.
But every time he received his allowance, Darius would go back. Soon he was borrowing from the moneylender, who would go to his father to collect. Darius tried to stay away from the tavern, but the draw was too powerful. He just knew someday he would win the whole pot. Finally, after another visit from Leonides’ man, Cletus, Pius put his foot down. He would no longer pay Darius’ gambling debts.
Darius was hopelessly hooked on the dice. He didn’t know how to stop. His mother and father believed he just needed to discipline himself, but they’d never felt the way he did. They couldn’t possibly understand the yearning he felt when a few days went by without a visit to the tavern. Now that his father had stopped covering his debts, he’d have to wait another three weeks before his next allowance. He didn’t know what he would do.
He thought about Quintus the merchant and about the impossibility of marrying his daughter and keeping his title. He knew that would never happen, that Pius would just transfer it to Anthony. If he lied to Quintus and bedded his daughter, his daughter would be ruined, and Quintus would pay Darius to keep it quiet.
Darius began to think about actually losing his title. How much did it mean to him? He hadn’t given it that much thought. It was always just assumed he would carry on the family line. How much did he love being a nobleman? Did he love it more than he loved the dice?
Suddenly he thought about Cletus. Darius hated the smelly rat. He would always find Darius, no matter where he went, always threatening to kill him. Leonides had a terrible reputation. When he said you would die, you died. Leonides himself had told Darius that if he didn’t bring him the money soon, he would have Cletus throw him in the river with rocks tied to his feet. Darius believed him. Now that his father had refused to pay, it was only a matter of time before Darius found himself at the bottom of the Tiber. His association with Quintus had put Cletus off for another week. Hopefully, that would be enough time to fix this unholy mess.
Darius Makes a Decision
Darius left the house the following morning by the rear entrance of the townhouse. He walked through the garden looking for Cletus before heading to the tavern. If he could find someone to take his pledge, he might make enough to pay Leonides. There were fewer and fewer takers lately. They all knew he had no money, but Darius hoped there would be some new blood there today as Saturnalia was beginning, and people from the country had come to the city to celebrate.
He stood at the door of the tavern, asking each man as he walked in to take his pledge. Not one would oblige him. Darius walked away and went to the Forum. He wandered among the vendors’ carts, looking at wares he couldn’t afford. He lived at one of the grandest addresses in Rome and couldn’t afford a loaf of bread!
Darius headed for the Tiber. He loved the river, and would often sit on its banks and contemplate the great mysteries of life. He would seek its counsel when perplexed by life’s vagaries, and was often rewarded with answers to his queries. Darius needed counsel now more than ever.
He passed the fishermen throwing their nets into the river and kept walking until he found a dry spot near the bridge and sat down. Darius had to redeem himself to his parents; he just didn’t know how. He looked at the river and asked it for an answer.
Immediately the merchant came to his mind. The dowry he offered would more than cover his debts, but the familial disgrace of a marriage like that was incalculable. Darius hated being torn like this. In order to pay off Leonides, he would have to lie to Quintus. If he didn’t, he would end up at the bottom of this river with rocks tied to his feet. Leonides would use him as a lesson to other aristocrats that he was no respecter of nobility.
So far, gambling was Darius’ only vice. Well, if you didn’t count womanizing, but he only slept with whores, so that didn’t count. The evening before, Darius had entertained the thought of blackmailing Quintus into buying Darius’ silence. Bedding the girl would be easy enough as Darius had never been refused. But the thought of actually confronting Quintus with the threat of blackmail caused a knot to form in his belly. Quintus may turn the tables and go to Pius. Blackmail on top of his other failings might lose him his inheritance anyway.
Even though the idea of hurting an innocent young girl wa
s distasteful to him, after much soul searching, Darius realized that he had no choice. When it was all over, he would have his life. Whether that life would be worth anything was another story.
That afternoon Darius bathed and dressed in his finest silk toga. It was embroidered with gold thread. He called for his servant, Otho, to bring the chariot around. He told Otho to accompany him as he headed for the Vicus Raciliani Maioris..
Otho held on tightly to a leather strap as Darius whipped the horses, causing the chariot to lurch forward. Darius was careful to avoid the citizenry as he rolled across the cobbled streets of Rome. Otho’s hands were holding on so tightly, he began to feel his fingers going numb.
Darius began to slow the horse down as he turned onto the Vicus Raciliani Maioris. He saw the sign for Quintus’ shop and stopped the chariot.
“Stay with the chariot,” he told Otho, as he headed into the shop.
Inside the shop, Darius could see a small, stocky man filling spice jars. The scent of the powdery spices filled the air. Darius approached him and asked for Quintus.
“The master’s not here. He should be back in an hour or so if you’d like to wait,” the man said.
Darius walked around the shop, gazing at the quality goods from Egypt and Africa. Darius felt the silk fabric, and ran his hand over the finished wood surface of a dining table. Darius was used to luxury. He knew in an instant that he didn’t want to lose his place in his father’s house. This plan just had to work. He walked away from the table quickly, and sat on a stool near the front entrance of the shop so he would see Quintus as soon as he arrived.
The stocky little man, Flavius, worked around the shop, dusting the spice residue off the pottery. He then took out a broom and swept the floor. He was fast and efficient. He kept glancing at Darius, curious as to what this aristocrat wanted with Quintus. He hoped that Quintus hadn’t arranged another marriage.
Half an hour had passed when Quintus finally walked into the shop. He had seen the chariot and wondered who it might be. Quintus heart soared as he entered the door and saw Darius.
“Greetings Darius, it’s good to see you, lad,” he said with a grin. “I didn’t expect you for a week.”
“Well, I spoke to my father and he’s…agreeable,” Darius said with a lump in his throat. “I saw no reason to wait any longer. When can I meet your daughter, Quintus?”
“You say he’s agreeable? What did you say to sway him?”
Darius had come up with what he thought was a brilliant idea.
“My father has been keeping a secret from me for many years. It seems I have a brother that I wasn’t aware of. He was born years before me of another woman. She died in childbirth and my father raised him alone until he met my mother. His son, Drusus, entered the military and has been in Germania ever since. He has a wife and she has produced an heir.” Darius barely took a breath between sentences.
“Splendid, this is wonderful news. Flavius, do we have any of the Etruscan wine left?”
Flavius went behind the counter, pulled out a bottle of wine, and handed it to Quintus.
“Come, my boy, you must meet Cassia.”
Quintus took Darius’ arm and led him into the domus. Flavius looked after them, knowing full well that Darius’ story was fabricated. Quintus heard what he wanted to hear, and as long as Cassia wasn’t hurt, Flavius wouldn’t interfere.
Quintus led Darius to the living area. Darius sat on a couch while Quintus called a servant to prepare a meal and handed him the bottle of wine before sitting down on the opposite couch.
“My boy, my boy,” Quintus said, “what a fortuitous turn of events. And you never knew of his existence?”
“Whose existence?” Darius asked, clearly perplexed.
“Your brother, Drusus.”
“Oh, yes, no I didn’t know about him. In many ways my father’s life is a mystery to me.” Darius looked away from Quintus as he spoke.
“Well, that is the best news. Now, where is that girl?” Quintus got up and went to find Cassia.
Darius began to think this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Yes, Quintus appeared to have believed his story, but it wouldn’t take much inquiry to find out that Drusus, in fact, did not exist. What would he do then?
The servant returned with the wine and Darius drank a whole cup. The warmth of it in his blood helped him relax. The fears of just a few minutes ago began to melt away as he drank a second cup. He was thinking how warm he felt when he suddenly saw her coming toward him. Darius was captivated by her, and he stood up to greet her.
It could have been the wine that filled his head with thoughts of love. It could have been the way she walked so quietly across the floor and smiled at him. There were no words for what he was feeling as she gave him her hand. He felt the softness of her skin, breathed in the soft scent of sandalwood coming off her hair and felt dizzy. Somehow his senses were playing tricks on him because he never felt her take his heart, but take it she had, and now it belonged to her forever.
Cassia in Love
The morning sun was in her eyes when Cassia woke up the next morning. Something must be wrong for Novia hadn’t come for her.
She suddenly remembered Darius taking her hand for the first time. All the romantic dreams of military men evaporated at that moment. His eyes were so blue, and Cassia couldn’t stop looking into them. When her father began to speak, neither of them heard a word he said.
They sat across from each other at the table. Cassia’s heart kept beating just a little too fast while Darius felt awkward and uncouth as he spilled his wine and dropped food on the floor. Quintus beamed with pleasure that this could be a love match as well.
When it was time for Darius to go, he asked if he could pay court to Cassia and Quintus gave his permission. She watched him walk away, believing she could never bear the separation, then instantly ran to tell Novia about him.
“Mark my words, Cassia, when someone is as happy as you are, something terrible is looming ahead,” Novia warned.
“Oh, Novia, do you have to be so sensible all the time? You have Flavius. Don’t you feel that way about him?”
“My relationship with Flavius is…” Novia wasn’t sure how to describe their relationship. “Well, let’s just say we get along well. Love is a dangerous thing, Cassia. It’s fine to love your mother or father, but love has no place in marriage.”
“Oh, that’s ridiculous, Novia,” Cassia said. “I couldn’t bear being married without love.”
“Well, then, you’re doomed to disappointment.”
“I cannot believe you’re so disparaging, Novia. It can’t be so bad as that,” Cassia said.
They were in Cassia’s room and Novia sat on the bed, pulling Cassia down next to her.
“It’s no good to love, Cassia. When you love, you get hurt. They fill your head with dreams and then, when another lovely face catches their eye, they leave. Love leaves you cold and alone.”
Novia’s face exuded sadness. Cassia had never seen her looking so forlorn. She kept staring ahead of her, as though looking at someone far away. Cassia put her hand on her shoulder, and Novia came back to herself.
“Yes, well, that’s all I have to say about love.” Novia took Cassia’s hand. “I want you to promise me you won’t do anything you’ll be ashamed of.”
Cassia hesitated. She knew what Novia was saying and she didn’t want to promise that.
“Your silence is my answer,” Novia said as she rose from the bed.
“Novia,” Cassia cried as she grabbed Novia’s arm, “you don’t understand.”
“No, Cassia, it is you that doesn’t understand.”
Novia left Cassia to undress herself. Suddenly, she felt abandoned. With no mother, sister, or friend to confide in, Novia had been everything to her. Her love for Darius, while new, had already caused a shift in her fidelity, and she wasn’t quite sure of anything anymore.
The next morning, she dressed hurriedly and ran to the table. A servant was placing food,
and Novia was nowhere in sight. Cassia ate quickly and went to look for Novia in the shop.
Flavius was looking out the door of the shop when Cassia entered. She walked over to him and followed his eyes to the street. Novia sat on the street, crying. Cassia started to go to her, and Flavius grabbed her arm.
“Leave her, Cassia. She needs to be alone.”
“On the street! Are you both mad?”
Again Cassia tried to go to her and Flavius grabbed her and flung her to the ground. He stood over her, his look threatening further violence if she moved.
“Sometimes you just have to leave a person be,” he said. “I’m sorry, Cassia, but you must leave her alone.”
“But why doesn’t she just go to her room if she must cry?”
Flavius helped her up and they each sat on a stool.
“Novia has no home, Cassia, not for a long time. Her room doesn’t belong to her, either. She’s…she needs to be alone and there is nowhere to be alone in here. Out there, with strangers, she’s alone. Sometimes I don’t understand it either, but that’s the way of it and I respect it.”
“I’ve never seen her do it before.”
“You’ve seen Novia now, older, more settled. You didn’t know her when your mother was young. Things then were not so good. She had to give up a lot to follow Agatha here. She cried in the street a lot back then. I’m hoping to make it up to her some.”
They both looked up when Novia entered the shop, her face covered with tear-streaked dust. She walked past them quickly and went into the house. Cassia stayed in the shop with Flavius for the rest of the afternoon. She wondered who had hurt Novia so badly, and she wished she could promise Novia she wouldn’t shame her. But Cassia just wasn’t sure she could keep that promise.
Novia's Lament
Cassia could see Novia sitting in the kitchen. She still had the same sad look on her face, so Cassia approached her cautiously. When Novia spied her drawing nearer, she put out her hand and Cassia came closer.
Pello Island: Cassia Page 8