He had never been hers, and yet her heart seemed to be drying up inside her as she left the room and walked away. Even from a watery grave, Tasha had won.
DAVID STOOD IN THE HALLWAY watching Becca, his insides a massive bundle of raw nerves and ragged pain. When he’d stepped inside the door and seen Becca standing there, he’d almost lost his grip on reality. For a second his mind had seen Tasha, and the past had come down and buried him under a rush of cruel memories.
When the moment had passed, he’d lashed out at Becca, the last person he’d ever wanted to hurt. But at best he was only a mangled, twisted shell of a man. Now Becca had seen that for herself. He’d witnessed the shock in her eyes and then he’d watched them change to pity. It was almost more than he could bear.
He should have never given into the desires that had driven him, never sought her out in the dark of night. His obsession for her had been unquenchable. It still was.
Even now, he ached to go to her and take her in his arms. Longed to make love with her as if it was the last night of the world. But she’d never want him the way he wanted her.
He swallowed his painful need for her, knew he’d go to the secret bookcase opening that led to the cavernous catacombs hidden below the house in the bowels of the earth. He’d failed everyone in his life who’d ever mattered, and the dank, musky chamber below the earth was the only place that truly welcomed him now.
But at least Becca was safe. He could do that much for her if he couldn’t do anything else. He closed the door to “Tasha’s” room and turned the key in the lock without looking back. Tasha wasn’t in there. She was dead. More than ever, he rued the day he hadn’t died with her.
THE NEXT TWO DAYS PASSED in a miserable silence. There was no news from Megham about the man who had run Becca from the road or tried to attack her and Claire, and there had been no arrest in the death of Sally Evers. Worse, Becca hadn’t even seen David, though she’d heard him talking to Richard and knew he still went to town every night.
Becca had worked on the plans for redecorating the Bluffs, but her heart was no longer in the project. She just wanted to see David, all of him, scar included. She missed him so.
Feeling too restless to do any kind of meaningful work, she walked to the back door just off the kitchen. Taking the key ring Richard had given her from her pocket, she fit a small bronze key into the lock, turned it, then stepped outside, careful to relock the door behind her. Fluffy white clouds floated overhead, but the sun was hot and had already burned away the early morning fog. Walking gingerly, she made her way down the brick path to the edge of the cliff where she had seen David scattering white roses a few days earlier.
Standing at the top of the cliff, she studied the waters below. Along most of the area’s shoreline, a pounding surf splashed over dangerous rocks, but in this spot the cove was protected, almost serene. The perfect spot to moor a small yacht. The spot where the fatal explosion had occurred.
She rubbed her eyes as strange images assaulted her mind. Fire and smoke. The sound of splintering wood and boards crashing into the sea. The smell of burning flesh and gasoline. She rocked backward, almost losing her balance, then reached out and grabbed the sharp edge of a huge boulder to steady herself.
No wonder David could never forget the night Tasha was killed. Becca hadn’t even been there and yet she felt the terror churning inside her just thinking about what it must have been like. Was this what Tasha’s family felt when they thought about that night? If so, it was easy to understand why Tasha’s parents and the rest of the Pierces couldn’t let go of the loss enough to forgive David.
She turned at the sound of neighing and spotted David sitting on the back of his horse a few yards away. He looked different. His shaggy hair had been cut and he was clean shaven though he wore a cloak with a hood that covered most of his scar. Still, he took her breath away, and she stood for long moments just staring at him before she noticed another horse, saddled and waiting behind him.
“It’s a perfect morning for a ride,” he said. “Besides, I thought you might be getting cabin fever. I had the stable hand saddle Stardust for you. She’s gentle but spirited. I think you’ll like her.”
“I’m sure I will.” She walked over to the filly, crooning as she did and moving slowly so as not to frighten the majestic animal. “Does this mean you’ve forgiven me?”
“It means I’ve missed you.”
His voice was husky, low, seductive, and warmth seeped inside her and tugged at her heart. She ached to have him climb down from his horse, take her in his arms and smother her with kisses the way he had the other night.
“I’ve missed you, too.” She took Stardust’s reins and hoisted her foot into the saddle. “I’m ready for anything, Dr. Bryson.”
THE DAY WAS GOLDEN, brilliant sunshine, leaves tinged with every shade of red imaginable, and as far as David was concerned, all of it paled when compared to the splendor of the woman riding a few feet in front of him. Her long silky hair was pulled up in a knot, and loose tendrils cascaded down and wound into tight curls that bounced along the regal lines of her neck.
It had been pure hell staying away from her the last few days. For five years he’d managed just fine without a woman, but now his body seemed to have adopted a mind of its own. No matter how often he told himself that he had no business even thinking of making love to her, he thought of almost nothing else. He thought of his lips on hers, his hands roaming the soft curves of her neck, fitting over the soft mounds of her breasts, touching and teasing and making her ache for him the way he ached for her.
But there was no way to think of making love to her without remembering how she’d reacted to the sight of his scar. And that was not the worst of what he had to offer.
She reined in Stardust and waited for him to catch up to her. “This is such a beautiful spot. Can we dismount and talk for a while?”
Talk. He’d heard somewhere that the four scariest words a man could hear from a woman were “we need to talk.” He’d never realized before now how true that was. “I’m not much of a talker,” he said, climbing out of the saddle.
“I’ve noticed.”
He helped her dismount, then tied the two horses to a low-hanging branch. She walked ahead of him, stopping at a flat area covered with a thick carpet of dried leaves.
“It seems so peaceful out here, as if we’re a million miles away from all the trouble that’s plagued me and Moriah’s Landing,” she said, dropping to a sitting position.
“What shall we talk about?”
“You.”
“Bad boy from the wrong side of the wharf transformed to doctor scientist and then to the beast on the hill. You already know all of that. What else is there to tell?”
“I’d like to know how you can kiss me senseless one minute and pull away the next, why you seek me out to take me horseback riding after going to such lengths to avoid me for the last two days. Is it that you’re embarrassed by your scar, because you’re afraid of getting involved, or just that you’re still in love with Tasha?”
“It’s just that I recognize my own weaknesses and I accept the truth. Remember that I’m much older than you.”
“If you accept the truth, why are still hiding behind that hood and cloak?”
“You just don’t give up, do you?”
“I can’t, David.” She reached up, took his hand and tugged him down beside her. “I probably shouldn’t care for you, but I do. I care a lot, but before I get in any deeper I need to know if there’s a chance for us.”
He took a deep breath, deluged by feelings and needs he didn’t understand. But Becca was right. It was time for the truth, for both their sakes. He squeezed her hand, then dropped it as his mind slid into the past. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Just start where it feels right.”
“Then I’ll have to start with Tasha.”
Becca felt a sinking sensation, a heavy weight in the pit of her stomach. It seemed ludicrous to be jealo
us of a dead woman, yet she knew that she was. Jealous, but mostly just unsure whether or not David would ever allow himself to love her or anyone else, or if he planned to live on Tasha’s memory for the rest of his life.
Leaves crunched beneath his feet as the heels of his black boots dug into the soft earth. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“I need to hear it.”
He hesitated, his lips pressed together, then finally took a deep breath as if he were about to dive into the sea. “I met Tasha in town a few months after I bought the Bluffs. I knew I was too old for her, but I couldn’t deny the attraction or turn down her invitation to go sailing with her and some of her friends. From that moment on, I was hooked. I know falling in love so fast sounds crazy, but that’s how it happened.”
“It doesn’t sound crazy to me.” But it would have before she met David. It was all in a person’s frame of reference. “I take it her parents disapproved of your dating.”
“To put it mildly. Her family already hated me, insisted I had bought the Bluffs right out from under them while they were waiting for it to go to auction for back taxes. Apparently the deed was in Geoffrey Pierce’s name and he mortgaged it to the hilt when he ran up some gambling debts. The family was sure no one else in town could afford it, and intended to buy it back and keep it in the family.”
“Did you know the family planned to buy it back?”
“No. All I knew was that it was up for sale at a good price. It needed some work, and it was much larger and far more lavish than I was looking for, but like everyone else who grew up in Moriah’s Landing, I was always awed by the place. And it was the only place available that was large enough to house a full working lab.”
“So even then you planned to work as well as live here?”
“Absolutely. I was going to use the money I’d made through my breakthroughs in genetic research to bring in promising young research scientists and provide them with room, board and enough grant money to live on. I envisioned this place as a mecca for genetic studies that would hopefully lead to major developments in the prevention and cures of terminal illnesses.”
“It could still be that.”
“Maybe one day.” But his tone and the shrug of his shoulders indicated he doubted that would ever happen.
“How did Tasha feel about all of that?” she asked.
“She was as excited as I was, thought it was time Moriah’s Landing was known for something besides witches and unsolved murders.”
“Were you involved with the town’s secret medical society?”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you know about that?”
“Nothing, really. I’ve just heard about it.”
“From whom?”
“I don’t remember. Kat and Elizabeth were talking about it one night. I think some of the Pierces are members, but I’ve never been sure if it’s actually a medical society or merely a social club.”
“It’s neither, but to answer your question, I checked it out when I first came back to Moriah’s Landing, was in it just long enough to realize that I wanted no part of it.”
“Because it involved some of the Pierces?”
“Because it involved unethical research projects—and worse. I’m just beginning to discover how much worse.”
His eyes grew darker, shadowed, and Becca felt as if he were changing before her eyes, revisiting his own demons and transforming into the beast everyone took him for. Pinpricks of cold needled her skin, like a spray of finely crushed ice.
“But in spite of all of that, you and Tasha planned to marry and live here in the Bluffs, practically neighbors with the rest of the Pierces.”
“She gave her family an ultimatum. Either accept me or lose her. They chose her, at least her parents did. They loved her very much, and she loved them. They wanted to throw an elaborate wedding at the Pierce compound, but Tasha insisted on a garden wedding at the Bluffs—the wedding that never happened.”
He stared into space, and Becca felt his pain as if it had somehow been transferred to her by osmosis. Tears pooled in her eyes and she brushed at them with the back of her hand. One minute, he’d been on top of the world. The next he’d fallen into a black abyss that must have seemed bottomless.
“It was Tasha’s face that kept me going during those first nights after the explosion when the pain was so excruciating I wanted to die. And then, when the doctors finally decided I was well enough to know the truth, they told me that Tasha had died that night in the explosion. Her body was never found, only ripped fragments of her clothing that had washed up on the beach, some pieces far down the coast.”
Becca searched inside herself, trying to think of something to say, but the only phrases she could think of sounded trite. So she reached out to him with touch. She took one of his hands and held it between hers, though he didn’t seem to notice.
“I begged the doctors to let me die, too. If I’d had the strength, I would have taken my own life. Instead I dissolved into the pain. Then, when I finally saw myself in the mirror, I realized Tasha was the lucky one. She would never have to see the deformed freak I had become. The flesh was literally burned from the right side of my face and parts of my stomach. I’ve had countless skin grafts, so many operations I’ve long since quit counting them.”
She lay her head on his shoulder, her heart aching for him. No wonder he’d locked himself away for years and come out only at night. “You’re not a freak, David, nor a beast.”
“How can you say that now that you’ve seen me?”
“Because I mean it. There’s so much more to you, I could forget the scar is even there.”
“Could you?”
“Yes. But that still leaves one big unanswered question. Are you still in love with Tasha?”
“I haven’t forgotten her.”
“No, I’m sure you never will, but that’s not what I asked.”
He let go of her hand and seemed to draw back into himself. “I know she’s dead and that she won’t be coming back. But I can’t let go of that night, not until I find the man responsible for the explosion. He has to be punished. I owe Tasha that.”
“But the police investigation concluded that the explosion was an accident.”
“That was only after they couldn’t find a way to pin it on me. No evidence of a bomb was ever found, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t one. I’m convinced the explosion was deliberate.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“I kept the boat in perfect condition and I had checked everything for the honeymoon trip. If there had been any kind of malfunction or leak, I would have caught it. As far as I’m concerned, the only rational explanation is that someone planted explosives on the boat.”
“But why would someone do such a horrible thing to Tasha or to you?”
“Tasha was never meant to die. She wasn’t even supposed to be at the house that night, much less at the boat. The wedding was scheduled for ten the next morning. We’d had an afternoon prewedding party at her parents’ house, and the plans were for her to spend the evening with her parents and attendants and then go to bed early. I was going to stock the boat for our honeymoon trip.”
“What changed her plans?”
“She was young and impetuous. She showed up at the boat, said she had to have some time alone with me. We started kissing and couldn’t stop.”
Becca understood that sensation all too well. Even now, in spite of everything, she wanted David, wanted him the same way Tasha must have wanted him that night. The last night of her life.
“We made love that night for the very first time, the only time. Then, when I was telling her goodbye, the boat exploded in a storm of fire and wood and metal, all raining down on us at once. That’s the last thing I remember.” His voice grew husky, and he exhaled sharply.
But she couldn’t let this go—not yet. “And you think that explosion was planned and executed by someone who knew you’d be on the boat?”
“It makes sense, tho
ugh I haven’t been able to find one lead in the case. That’s what’s driving me positively mad. The answers have to be right here, yet I’ve looked for five years and can find nothing. I dragged her into the danger, and I let her die.”
“Tasha’s death wasn’t your fault, David. You can’t go on blaming yourself forever.”
“I may not have caused her death, but I didn’t stop it.”
His breathing grew ragged, and his voice cracked. The hopeless frustration and desperation were driving him positively mad. But it wasn’t his fault. None of it had ever been his fault, no more than what had happened to her had been her fault.
“Please, David, take off the hood. Give me a chance to love the man you are.”
He winced, then removed it from his head and let it fall against his cape. The scar was brutal, the flesh pink and puckered, but none of it mattered.
She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, knowing that no matter what she’d said about not letting herself care too much, she already did. Like Tasha, it was as if she was meant to love him.
They held each other for long precious moments. She stroked the back of his head, his shoulders, the corded muscles in his back. The wind whispered against her cheeks. A bird sang. A brown leaf floated down and landed on her leg.
And then David’s lips were on hers, and the world ceased to exist. She floated in a sea of desire, aware of nothing except the emotions that swirled inside her. Their breaths mingled, their bodies pressed against each other, and nothing that she could remember had ever felt so right. When he finally pulled away, they were both struggling for breath and for at least a slim hold on reality.
“Whatever you do, David, don’t apologize for kissing me, not this time.”
“I wasn’t going to.” His fingers trailed a line down her cheekbone and then pressed against her kiss-swollen lips. “I do think we should get back to the house, though, before I start kissing you again and can’t stop with just kisses.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“Not for me. I’m just not sure it would be right for you, not yet.”
He held her close, and she felt him shudder. She didn’t know the full truth about him yet. She was certain of it, but she was just as certain that she’d fallen in love with him. Whatever demons he faced, she could face them with him, as long as she felt his love the way she did at this minute, as long as he didn’t pull away and withdraw from her life.
Moriah's Landing Bundle Page 71