Castle for Rent

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Castle for Rent Page 17

by John Dechancie


  Behind them, something rose from the trees on a pillar of fire and streaked into the night, heading along a collision course with the plane. Within a few seconds, missile and plane met in the air about midway between the house and the top of the knoll. A brilliant starburst of light blossomed at their joining. Almost simultaneously, a huge explosion tore up the meadow about twenty yards in front of where the brothers stood. A second bomb hit just behind them, splattering chunks of frozen brown earth.

  “Think we should take cover?” Incarnadine asked when the smoke and dust had cleared.

  “Not yet. I can’t say I’ve been really impressed by anything so far.”

  “You didn’t have that reptile chasing you.”

  “I concede the point. But I wonder why they’re holding back? Toying with us?”

  “Trent, it may just be that they’re as chary of us as we are of them.”

  “Gee, think of that. Let’s get closer.”

  “Hold on.”

  Many things began to happen. Great winged beasts appeared, defecating balls of fire as they flapped their huge pinions overhead. A motley troop of creatures — variously taloned and beaked, chitinous and scutellate, some with claws, others with pinchers — began charging up the hill. Amorphous shapes slithered out of shadow, leaping and gibbering. Vapors coalesced and churned with demonic energy, advancing like tornadoes. The grass was alive with fang-bearing homunculi that screamed and chittered their venomous hatred.

  “A shooting gallery!” Trent said, both index fingers raised and spewing multicolored fire. “Have fun!”

  “It may be our last chance,” Incarnadine said as his first shot dehorned a seven-foot-tall ambulatory crustacean with delusions of horror-film stardom.

  The spooks charged and the bolts flew. Smoke and fire rose from the hayfield as chitin smoldered and scales burned. Great flying creatures plummeted from the sky, trailing pink and yellow sparks and bright blue smoke. Vortexes exploded, and brilliant shafts of radiant energy intersected in the night. There came swarming congeries of fiery motes, and bright tongues of flame, the sky taking its color from their flashing luminescence.

  Incarnadine flamed a four-pincered lobsterlike thing that had advanced to within a few yards of him, and when the creature vanished in a puff of vermilion smoke, the armored, insectoid little hellion that it had shielded leaped at him like a grasshopper. He fired, diving to the right and rolling to his feet again, only to confront another hobgoblin, this one a nine-foot-tall cross between a praying mantis and a sexually aroused ostrich. Incarnadine hosed it down, then played his beam of energy on the blasphemous horror that wriggled and twitched behind it.

  The battle continued for some time, stratagems being employed on both sides. Creatures would feint at one invader and charge the other. The brothers cross-fired on oversize and airborne demons, and generally helped each other when they could.

  Eventually the stream of apparitions petered out.

  Incarnadine burned the last of the big ones, then mopped up what remained of the salamanders and other smaller incubi.

  When done, he turned to see Trent shaking off a small legless thing with big yellow teeth that was worrying at the cuff of his trousers. He kicked it away and spritzed it with fire. The thing squealed hideously, blazing into nothingness like a scrap of flash paper.

  Trent walked over to his brother, smiling, his breath trailing behind him in the cold night air. “So much for the fireworks. I wonder when the real battle’s going to start?”

  Something was forming in the air over the manor house, something big. It was an image, at first blurred and indistinct, gradually growing sharper.

  It was a face, a human face, dark of eye and square of jaw. The thin lips curled into a pleasant smile.

  “Hi!” the image said brightly. “Listen. Can we talk?”

  Castle

  “How’s it look out there?” Barnaby whispered.

  Deena poked her head out of the niche and looked up and down the corridor.

  “Okay. I don’t see any of ’em.”

  “Let’s move.”

  Cautiously they exited the niche and inched along the wall, their eyes wide and fearful. A demon howled somewhere close, and they froze.

  Deena pushed her face against Barnaby’s chest. “They gonna get us,” she whimpered.

  “No!” Barnaby said. “We’re going to get out of here. Let’s move.”

  Deena dried her eyes and crept on.

  Barnaby stayed behind for a moment, looking back down the passageway. Deena reached back for his hand, couldn’t find it, and halted, turning her head.

  “Barnaby!”

  “Shh. Hold it.”

  “C’mon!”

  Satisfied that they weren’t being followed, he started forward. Deena took a step, bringing her head around in time to see a human hand growing out of the wall.

  She screamed and jumped back.

  The hand grew an arm, which in turn got connected to a shoulder. Then Kwip stepped out of the wall like a ghost in the flesh.

  The two were dumbfounded.

  Kwip put a finger to his lips. “It’s me peculiar talent. I’m glad to find you.”

  “How did you get away from that … thing?” Barnaby asked.

  “The demon? By the method you just saw. I’ve the Creator to thank that wall-walking’s a talent they lack.”

  “Can we still get to that aspect of yours? Do you know where we are?”

  “Approximately. Methinks we’d best hide out awhile. A blind chamber, preferably with something to eat and drink in it, a wine and cheese cellar, perhaps. But any room with a locked door will do.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Deena said.

  “Aye. Now, do exactly as I say. Come here, lad.” He drew Barnaby to him by the hand. “Take hold of the back of me shirt and hang on for dear life. Join hands with your ladyfriend, and whatever you do, don’t let go of her, either. Am I clear?”

  They nodded.

  “Good. Now, follow me, and hesitate at peril of your life.”

  They lined up, Kwip in front facing the wall.

  A hellish screeching came from the left. They turned to see a demon rushing down the passageway at them.

  “Follow me!” Kwip shouted, striding forward. He merged with the stone and was absorbed into it. Unbelieving but unwilling to be left behind, Barnaby and Deena followed.

  The passage through the stone was like walking in water. Mercifully the experience was of short duration. They emerged into another hallway.

  “That was weird,” Deena said.

  Kwip glanced around. “And again.”

  They ghosted through the opposite wall. This time they came out in a book-crammed chamber lit by a single candle that had almost burned itself out.

  Kwip barked a shin against the tome-littered table that filled most of the floor space. “Gods of a pig’s arse!” Rubbing his leg, he looked around. “Well, food for thought, at any rate. This will do, I suppose. No demon will get in here.”

  They heard a disgruntled moan. It had come from beneath the table.

  Kwip drew his saber, knocking over a stack of books. Then a head appeared above the tabletop. The glazed eyes of a slight, balding man regarded the intruders.

  “Greetings.” The man belched. “If you don’t mind my asking, how in the name of all the gods did you get in here?”

  “It’s the librarian,” Kwip told his companions.

  Osmirik squinted at him. “Kwip. Ah, Kwip, my good man.” Osmirik struggled to his feet. Tongue a trifle thick, he licked his lips, scratching himself. Smiling, he said, “I’m glad for a little company. It was getting a bit lonely in here.”

  “Hiding out, then?” Kwip asked, sheathing his sword.

  “Quite so. Ah, I see I have more than one guest.” Osmirik smiled.

  Barnaby introduced himself and Deena.

  “Enchanted, my dear lady,” Osmirik said, overdoing a bow. He was obviously a bit drunk.

  Deena giggled, but enjo
yed the scribe’s elaborate gesture.

  He continued, “An honor, goodly sir. Welcome to my humble lodgings, such as they are. There is food aplenty, if you wish refreshment, but I’m afraid I have nothing to offer you to drink.” He held up the empty wine bottle and regarded it with much puzzlement, as if there were some question as to how the contents had disappeared.

  “Thanks. We’d love some food,” Barnaby said. “Is it safe here? Have you seen the demons?”

  The librarian’s face blanched. “I’ve seen them, sure enough.”

  “Here?”

  “Not here. Those foul blue hellions won’t get through that wall. It’s as thick as a —”

  “Blue hellions?” Kwip said.

  “The demons. Blue creatures with intensively redundant dentition. Didn’t you — ?”

  “Those ain’t the demons,” Deena said. “You obviously ain’t seen no demons yet. When you see one you’ll know.”

  Osmirik sat down, looking grave. “I will?”

  “Other beings have invaded the castle,” Barnaby said. “These things are indescribably worse.”

  “Indescribably … ?” Osmirik paled and reached for the wine bottle. Spying the dregs at the bottom, he upended the bottle into his mouth. He wiped his lips. “Demons or none, my duty is clear. I must venture out and get the volume.”

  Kwip looked at him incredulously. “Gods of a spavined nag. How the devil can you think of books at a time like this?”

  “I must have the spell to give to my liege lord, Incarnadine.”

  “What spell?”

  “The spell that will close up the demons’ aspect. Seal it off, so they can’t get through. I need the book that contains that spell.”

  Kwip nodded, rolling his eyes in appreciation. “Aye. Now, there’s a book worth considerable thought. Whereabouts is it?”

  “Out there,” Osmirik said, pointing to the wall sealing off the arch.

  “The library?”

  “Aye, down in the open stacks. I must fetch it, be there demons or be there none.”

  “Well, there’s but one way to decide aye or nay. I’ll have a look-see.”

  “Be careful, they may see you!”

  Kwip gave a wry smile. “I’m a man who doesn’t fancy being seen. Never fear.”

  He drew up to the section of wall within the arch, stopping just short of touching it with his nose. He leaned forward, and his head and the top half of his torso disappeared into the wall.

  He remained in this paradoxical state, half in and half out, for a longish moment. Then he pulled back.

  “Something’s up,” he said, a strange expression on his face. “Abide. I shall return shortly.”

  He walked through the wall and was gone.

  Library

  Sheila stood with her eyes closed and her arms straight down and rigid, fists clenched and knuckles white. She swayed from side to side like a sapling in a mild breeze. The others stood by and watched. Snowclaw reached out for her as she swayed, but stopped short of touching her.

  They heard someone walking above, and turned to look. Gene drew his sword. The clanging and banging on the other side of the huge steel doors continued.

  Smiling, Kwip came out of the stairwell to the first gallery. Linda and Gene met him halfway across the floor.

  “Fancy you people being here,” Kwip said. “How goes the world with you?”

  “Not too darn good,” Gene said. “Were you hiding out in here?”

  “For the nonce, yes. I’ve been away. Apparently there’s been trouble.”

  “A lot of it. Have you seen the demons?”

  “Aye, and nearly soiled my breeches.”

  “Well, get out a fresh pair of undies, because they’re right behind that door, making all the racket.”

  “Gods of a pig’s arse! Then we’d best take our leave, hadn’t we?”

  “We’re working on it. That girl there has a powerful talent. She can summon portals.”

  “The devil you say.” Kwip looked over his shoulder.

  “Well, she did it once. She’s trying like hell to repeat it.”

  They watched Sheila teeter gently back and forth.

  “I’d best go fetch them,” Kwip said, then answered Gene’s questioning look with, “The librarian and some others. I’ll be back in a trice.” He trotted back to the stairwell.

  A loud bang sounded. Gene and Linda looked back at the steel barrier. A large protrusion had appeared on it, as if something had nearly punched through from the other side.

  Another door materialized, covering the existing one.

  “I can keep whipping up doors as long as we stay here,” Linda said, “but once we cross the portal … ”

  “Yeah, and they’ll follow us through.” Gene bit his lip. “I hadn’t considered that. Good God, can you imagine those things loose on Earth?”

  “I don’t want to think about it. Gene, we can’t take the chance of summoning the portal!”

  A wave of heat hit them. The clanging and banging had ceased, and now thin streamers of smoke rose from the door.

  “Hell. They’re burning their way through! Linda, we have to get out of here. Maybe Sheila can make the portal go away after we cross over.”

  “Let’s hope so, or else we’ll be responsible for the destruction of our world.”

  The door was glowing a deep cherry-red. Linda covered it with another layer of solid steel. The barrier now jutted out from the wall a good six feet. The heat dissipated momentarily, but then returned.

  “That won’t hold them very long,” Linda said.

  “Look!”

  Linda whirled. The alcove that Sheila stood in front of seemed to have undergone a transformation. Then Linda realized that she was looking through a portal.

  Kwip came out of the stairwell, followed by Barnaby Walsh, Deena Williams, and Osmirik the librarian. Without uttering a word of greeting or explanation, Osmirik broke for the open stacks.

  “Hey!” Gene yelled, then turned to Kwip. “Where the hell is he going?”

  “To fetch an important book.”

  “Book? Tell him we have to —”

  “It’s vital, trust me,” Kwip said.

  “Well, if you say so.”

  They all peered through the portal. On the other side was a pleasantly and expensively appointed living room. The walls were of dark wood paneling, the ceiling of dark oak beams. It looked like the interior of an English manor house.

  “Looks like Earth,” Gene said, smiling at Sheila. “Good work.”

  Sheila nodded. “It was pretty tough. Seemed like something was holding it back. Like someone had tied it down somewhere else in the castle.”

  “Maybe. I wonder where it’s been hiding all this time?” He shook his head in wonder. “There it is. Home. God, I can’t believe it.”

  Sheila glanced at the barrier, which had again turned red-hot. “I have to stay.”

  “Are you nuts?”

  “No. I have to close up the portal from this side. I won’t be able to do magic on the other side. It’s outside the castle, remember?”

  “But you found your magic outside the castle. Look, Sheila. I haven’t given this a lot of thought yet, but obviously you’re a major talent. Maybe your talent isn’t limited to summoning portals. You also seem to have the knack for figuring out alternative magical systems, for want of a better way to put it.”

  Sheila thought about it. “Maybe I do.”

  “I think you could figure out Earth’s system easy.”

  “If I have enough time, maybe,” Sheila said. “But we can’t take the chance. What if they get through?”

  Gene grabbed her arm. “Look, there’s no way I’m going to let you stay behind and face those things alone.”

  “No, Gene. It has to be. You take Linda back.”

  “Nothing doing. You’re coming with us.”

  “Gene, I can’t.”

  The ear-splitting groan of tortured metal filled the library. The door had turned white-
hot.

  “Sheila, go with him,” Linda said. “I’ve rigged something up to buy us time.”

  They turned. The portal now looked like a bank deposit vault. An enormous steel door with a complex locking mechanism hung open on gimbals.

  “It’s three feet thick,” Linda said. “It’s set to close in fifteen seconds. Sheila, you’ll have about five minutes to learn Earth magic. Run, everybody!”

  Snowclaw, Linda, Barnaby, and Deena ran. Kwip, Gene, and Sheila stayed.

  Gene said, “Look, if the demons take over the castle, Earth’s done for.”

  “I suppose you’re right.”

  An explosion rocked the place. Shards of molten metal spewed from a small hole that had appeared in the barrier blocking the library entrance.

  Gene and Sheila ran for the portal. Kwip waited for Osmirik, who came charging out of the open stacks, book in hand.

  When they reached the other side, everyone watched the huge steel door swing shut. It closed with a slam, and the complex locking mechanism hummed and whirred for a moment. Then it fell silent.

  A few seconds later, the vault door disappeared. Through the portal lay a room somewhere in the castle. It was furnished with antiques and decorated with tapestries and other curios. A strikingly attractive woman in a dark red gown stepped into the frame of the aspect. Startled, she halted, regarding the group of strangers on the other side with some astonishment.

  “Who in Creation might you people be?” she asked.

  “We might ask the same of you,” Gene said.

  She stiffened. “Such impertinence. What are you doing in my house? Where are my servants?”

  “Look, lady, we just missed being devil’s food cake by a short hair. The demons were right behind us.”

  Her eyebrows shot up. “Demons? Where did you see them?”

  “We just came from the castle.”

  “So it was you who moved this end of the portal. How did you manage it?” She cut short any answer with a wave of her hand. “Never mind. You must leave my house immediately. I cannot let you re-enter the castle this way. We are under attack here.”

  “We know. We don’t want to go back. We’re leaving right now.”

  “You there!”

 

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