by Leddy Harper
My heart sped up until it furiously pounded in my chest, pulverizing me from the inside. I’d grown so focused on his words, his voice, until no other sound existed. Other than Nolan, everything else around us vanished, as if a curtain had been pulled, cloaking us in our own moment.
“I plan to make a few calls tomorrow. I don’t want to sell my share of the business, but I do want to hire someone to take over my responsibilities. I want to free up my time so I can start taking pictures again. And I want to do it with you. However, I don’t want to take pretty pictures…I want to capture the strength in the weak. The courage in the wounded. I want to show the beauty in what everyone deems ugly.” He paused to take a breath and hold my hands between us. “What do you say? Do you think we can do this? Together?”
With tears falling from my face reminiscent of a torrential downpour, I nodded, unable to form words. I fell to my knees, wrapped my arms around his neck, and buried my face into his shoulder as my sobs racked my body.
This is what I’d been waiting for.
“You haven’t heard the stipulations yet.”
I lifted my head and studied his face. His eyes had lost some of the light, but he didn’t appear to be upset. In fact, he seemed slightly nervous, apprehensive. Instead of talking, I stared at him, giving him the time to continue on his own.
“When I said together…I meant it. Completely together, as one. I don’t want it to be Novah Johnson and Nolan Richards. It has to be Nolan and Novah Richards.”
The insides of my nostrils burned, the backs of my eyes stung, and my throat felt as if it’d fallen into my chest and my heart had sunk into my stomach.
“Or, you know, your name first. It doesn’t matter, just as long as you have—”
I silenced him with my lips, swallowing his words. I poured my answer into that kiss, leaving no room for doubt.
“Wait, wait, wait,” he said, carefully pushing me away. “I had this whole thing planned out, but it seems I didn’t take your reaction into account. I bought a ring this morning, and I haven’t even given it to you yet.”
“I don’t care about a ring.”
His eyes locked on mine and his body grew rigid. “I want to do this right. So please, can you stand back up?”
I fought against the smile straining to take over my face and did as he asked. He drew a black box from his pocket and held my hand between us. My breathing had grown erratic and desperate, yet his remained slow and steady.
“Novah…I told you fifteen years ago that you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on, and that has never changed. I fell in love with you when I was eighteen, and that also has never changed. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, not because I depend on you or because I can’t live without you—because I can. Wait. That came out wrong. I can’t live without you, but not because… Shit.”
I took a small step closer and held his face in my hands, forcing him to look up at me. “If you don’t hurry up and ask me, I’m going to take that ring and put it on myself and ruin this perfect plan you have.”
A slow smile formed, and then it quickly took over his entire expression, crinkling the skin around his eyes. “Will you marry me?”
“Considering you’ve already threatened any possible future husbands I may have, I think it’s safe to say yes…I will marry you.” I fell to my knees once again and pulled him into me for a kiss.
“This is a package deal, though. You know that right?” he asked with the tip of his nose against mine. “You’re saying yes to marrying me as well as working with me in business. Oh, and having my children at some point.”
Just the thought of carrying his babies caused excitement to burn bright inside me. “Yes…to all of it. I’ve been unlucky in the dating department, and I’d always blamed you. But I know now it was all for a reason. It was to keep me available for when you made your way back to me. I now know I was never unlucky in love, because I’ve had yours this entire time.”
“God, I can’t wait to start my life with you.”
I kissed him again—I couldn’t seem to get enough of him. “Who says we have to wait? Why can’t we start now? It can begin with you putting that ring on my finger.”
His airy laugh floated over me as he opened the box in his hand. Even though I’d seen the box, knew what was in it, understood what it meant, I hadn’t given it enough thought to expect what it actually looked like. The large princess-cut diamond sparkled in the light, surrounded by a wide band decorated with invisible set diamonds. It stole my breath away. Literally. I didn’t think I’d ever breathe again. It had to have been at least two carats in the center stone alone.
“I had no idea what I was looking for,” Nolan explained as he pushed the band over my knuckle. “When the woman said this setting was called the Supernova, I knew it was the right one. I really hope you like it.”
I couldn’t be bothered by answering with words, only my mouth…and then my body. I couldn’t even waste the time getting us to his bed. Instead, I stripped him bare in the middle of his darkroom, surrounded by the photos that captured his passion.
Neither of us put our clothes on for the rest of the weekend, choosing instead to remain naked. Nolan made some calls, the first being to his business partner. Plans were made to start searching for more help on Monday, and to hopefully have someone in place by the end of the week. Nolan didn’t want to waste any time moving on.
Once his calls were completed, he pulled up the pictures from his GoPro, going through each one and telling me all about his trip. The enthusiasm in his voice filled the room and consumed the air around us until I felt it settle deep in my bones.
He found the beautiful boy inside him again.
Laying in bed Sunday night—both of us naked per his request—he began discussing our future. It was as if he couldn’t wait for the sun to rise to begin the rest of our lives together.
“So when were you thinking of doing this? I mean, I don’t have much stuff, and it shouldn’t be hard to rent out my house, but you’re talking like you want this to happen tomorrow.”
He ran his finger in lazy circles along my back, covering my body in goose bumps. His lips were close to my ear, so when he spoke, his warm breath brushed my skin, warring with the sensations his finger caused.
“That’s because I do want it to happen tomorrow. I can get some guys in the morning to help us if we need it, but really, what all do you need to move? I have furniture. All you pretty much need are your clothes and bathroom stuff.”
I let out a laugh and shook my head against the pillow. I saw the confusion form on his face by way of the moonlight shining through the window. “Your furniture is boring. This place has no personality. If you think I’m going to live here surrounded by bare walls and bland furniture, then you should probably think again.”
“Okay, fine. Have it your way. I’ll call some guys from work in the morning and we’ll haul your things over. I’ll offer them my boring things as payment.”
I nuzzled further into him. “So we’re really doing this? I’m really moving in?”
“I told you it was a package deal. Forever. It’s already begun…tomorrow we just make it official. And then Tuesday we head down to apply for our marriage license.”
“Wait…how soon are you planning on getting married?”
He rolled me to my side and covered my front with his bare chest. “I’d marry you right now if I could. I’ve wasted enough of my life living on pause. I want to hit play. I want to live. And I want to do it all with you.”
I couldn’t argue with him.
So I didn’t.
We pushed play…and lived.
Epilogue
Five Years Later…
I grabbed my shirt from the floor and sat on the end of the bed to put it on. But the picture frame on my bedside table caught my attention, making me pick it up and hold onto it.
After we moved in together, Novah had found the worn photo in my nightstand and surprised me by fr
aming it, displaying it next to our bed. I finally explained why I’d had it, and I think it made her love me even more. The next day, I took the picture she’d taken of me from high school and framed it, leaving it next to her side of the bed to find.
They’d remained there for five years, reminding us of where we came from and the adversities we fought against to find each other again.
Once I had my shirt over my head, I headed down the hall. Nathan, our exuberant four-year-old, had a tendency to get up in the morning and pull out every toy he owned while Novah and I slept. It had become our morning routine to wake up and go see what our son had gotten into before getting ready for the day.
As I opened his door and peeked my head in, I noticed him sitting in the middle of his room surrounded by probably every action figure he’d ever owned. The morning sun shone through the window and lightened his unruly dark hair. It reminded me of the mental note I’d made the day before about taking him to get a haircut.
“Whatcha doin’, buddy?” I walked all the way into his room and lowered myself to the floor next to him. That’s when I noticed he’d taken off one leg from every toy.
“Jus’ playing.” He didn’t even bother turning his blue eyes my way, too busy acting something out with his G.I. Joe.
“What happened to their legs, little man?”
“Oh, I took them off. They don’t need their ‘sguises anymore.”
I cocked my head, even though he hadn’t given me his attention. Finally, I touched his arm, forcing him to stop playing and look at me. “What do you mean?”
He’d asked many times about what had happened to my leg. And every time, I’d come up with some absurd, off-the-wall story that would make him laugh. He knew I wasn’t telling the truth, and it had at some point become a game with us. I had no problem telling him what really happened, but I wanted to wait until he was a little bit older so he could fully understand. That’s why his little game with his toys this morning threw me off.
“They are taking down bad guys so they don’t need their ‘sguises anymore. You know, like how Superman takes off his glasses.”
“So their legs are their disguises?”
He tilted his head to the side, the sunlight brightening his eyes until they reminded me of his mother’s. The way he stared at me with knitted brows nearly made me laugh. It was almost like a, “duh, Dad.”
“Superheroes only have one leg…like you. So they wear fake ones to keep the bad guys from knowing who they are.”
Emotion clogged my throat and I had to fight back the tears threatening to spring free. Nathan was only four. He had no idea what an impact his statement had on me. His words were as honest as they could be, leaving me no room to doubt his sincerity.
Before I could reply or grab him up in my lap, Novah peeked her head around the doorway, giving me a knowing look.
“Is it ready?” I asked past the knot in my throat.
All she did was nod. That was not a good sign. But I refused to let it get to me, to bring me down. We’d been through this before, and we’d get through it again. Although, it had been a while since having to deal with it.
I led the way to the bathroom, sensing her presence behind me. Her sniffles almost forced me to stop and pull her into me. I held her as close as I could to comfort her. But I needed to see it with my own two eyes first.
The light was already on in the bathroom when I walked in, so I shuffled with hesitancy to the vanity. My heart immediately sank into my stomach and my lungs shriveled up. Tears pulled along my lower lashes, blurring the image in front of me.
“I thought…” I turned to see Novah, and noticed the streaks of fresh tears lining her face as well. “I thought… I wasn’t expecting this. From your reaction, I was expecting one line. Am I really seeing two on here?”
She nodded and ran to me, locking her arms around my neck. Her body trembled against mine, and it left me confused.
Ever since we had Nathan, we’d tried month after month to have another baby. Yet it didn’t seem to be in our cards. The longer we tried without success, the harder it became on her. We’d seen specialists and even tried herbal remedies to get pregnant, but nothing worked. The doctors all said there didn’t seem to be a problem with either of us, and it would simply take time and patience.
With every period, Novah became sadder and sadder until her mood had darkened her work.
Five years ago, we’d transformed her business into something desired by many. Novah continued taking what I’d dubbed the pretty shots, while I focused on the wounded—anyone with a visible disfigurement, showcasing their true artistry. It didn’t take long before our work had been demanded by many, mostly for ads, marketing, and covers used for novels.
However, once I started noticing Novah’s “pretty” shots turning darker, I knew I had to put a stop to it. Her photos were still more impressive than anything else out there, but they were no longer of smiling angels. They had taken more to the fallen angel theme. That’s when I made the hardest decision I ever had to make and convinced her we needed to stop trying to have another baby. We had Nathan, and he was all we needed.
That was a year ago.
A week ago, she was due to get her period.
Three days ago, she’d convinced herself against taking a test, knowing it would only bring her down.
Yesterday, she cried while watching a commercial about a penguin. I suggested the possibility of being pregnant, considering we hadn’t used any form of birth control since getting married, but she excused it as menstrual symptoms. She even cited her sore breasts as a sign of her impending period—the one she had yet to get.
Last night, I bought her a test.
This morning, the test said positive.
“I’m confused, Novah. Are you not happy about this?” I loosened my grip on her and took a small step back so I could see her face.
“I’m scared. I’ve waited for this moment for years, and I’m scared it’s not real. What if the test is wrong? What if I’m not really pregnant?”
I couldn’t stifle my laugh, which earned me a slap across my upper arm. “We’ve been through this how many times, Novah? The chances of a false positive are slim to none. You haven’t gotten your period, you’re emotional, your boobs hurt…and now you have a test confirming it. What more do you need to become excited?”
She bit her bottom lip, staring at the white stick on the counter. The two lines. “We’re really having another baby?” she asked with soft words, her voice so quiet I almost didn’t hear her.
“Yes…we’re having a baby.”
She turned her attention to me, her tears falling in waves down her face. Suddenly, a smile took hold of her lips at the same time a cry mixed with a laugh bubbled through her chest. Her hands immediately covered her mouth.
Reality had set in.
I knew that feeling better than anyone. It had happened to me several times over the years, ever since Novah had come back into my life. It was the moment when your eyes finally open and you’re able to see the truth right in front of you.
“You should call your parents,” I said after kissing her forehead. I knew they’d want to hear the good news. They had been there for us so many times over the years when the pain of failed attempts had become too much for us to handle.
My dad never made it to the White House. He hadn’t been elected in the primary, which ended his run. I’d never tell him, but I’d voted for him even though he hadn’t contacted me after I’d walked out on him the night at his banquet. In fact, he didn’t initiate contact with me until Nathan was born.
Things were still strained between the two of us, but I never let that get to me. I had Novah’s parents—who’d moved back home after we had gotten pregnant with Nathan. They were the support system we needed, and the parents I craved.
I still had my mom, who I talked to about once a month and saw a few times a year. However, it didn’t matter if I had no one…Novah was all I needed.
Novah an
d Nathan.
And now this baby, as well.
If anyone were to ask me the definition of beauty…I’d tell them to open their eyes and look around. They’d see it. Just as long as they were looking.
* * *
Adrianna, the gymnast at Novah’s studio, is in Balance by Lucia Franco. Keep reading to get an exclusive sneak peek at the forbidden love in Balance.
“Balance” sneak peek
Balance
by Lucia Franco
Book 1 in the Off Balance series
Summer 2016
Copyright © 2015 by Lucia Franco
All Rights reserved.
"Any coach who has been coaching for ten years and says he never fell in love with an athlete or vice versa is lying."
Anonymous
* * *
WARNING
This is a forbidden romance story between a coach and a gymnast.
Reader discretion is advised.
* * *
Chapter 1
“Absolutely not!” My father’s voice boomed around his home office.
“You haven’t even heard what I have to say,” I argued.
“I don’t care what you have to say. You can talk until you’re blue in the face. You are not moving to New Hampshire. End of discussion.”
“Dad, just listen. Gymnastics–”
“I’ve made my decision and it’s not changing. Now, please, I have work to do.”
My dad was being unreasonable. He wouldn’t even let me speak. The East Coast was home to one of the best gymnastics facilities in the country and I was going to prove it to him. All my weeks of research were not going to be wasted. I wasn’t going to give up, I just had to try harder.
“It’s renowned for its coaching and athletes,” I pressed on.