"He was right. It's so good. You have to try them on your bagel."
Jason and I returned to the kitchen table, piling our bagels with the rest of the capers, marveling at how all the tastes really did come together. Jason was the perfect breakfast companion. He encouraged me to talk about my dad instead of avoiding it. And so, over my dad's favorite breakfast, I shared all sorts of stories about the man who had such a profound impact on my life. The man who cleaned up my skinned knees with Bactine and had tea parties with my stuffed Hello Kitty doll. The man who encouraged me to climb trees and to always believe in the goodness of others. It felt so good to discuss the wonder of a man who was Martin Foster. The man who raised me. The man who taught me to believe in myself. The man who knew his daughter would enjoy capers on her bagel when she was all grown up.
My heart was racing all afternoon. My mom had just arrived to spend the evening with the baby and I was putting the finishing touches on my hair. Thick, loose waves, the way Jason seemed to like it best. He hadn't touched me much since the baby was born, but sometimes when we watched television, he ran his fingers through my hair. And I loved it. So there was no way I was going to put my hair up. I wanted him to have full access to my curls.
I finished my hair and joined my mother in the kitchen. I'd just nursed Marty, so he would be okay for a little while, but she needed to see the prepared bottles in the refrigerator. She listened intently, nodding at each instruction I gave. She understood how strange this was for me. I'd been with him constantly for the last month, never even leaving to grab a coffee or go to the store. I just hadn't had any desire to be away. But, tonight was my very first date with Jason. A date I'd been waiting for since I was eight years old. It was the best motivation I could ever have to leave my baby with my mother for a few hours.
The bell rang and in an instant, the lovesick teenager in me returned, knowing Jason was on the other side of the door. And tonight, he wasn't there as a friend. He wasn't there as a helper. He was there as a man who desired me, a man who wanted me.
"Are you gonna get that?" My mom smirked. Since the doctors altered her medication, bits and pieces of the Allison Foster I grew up with were shining through—her smirks, her sarcasm. Each little glimpse made me smile and lessened the ache in my heart.
She's coming back to me.
"Oh…right," I said. "Do I look okay?"
"Gorgeous." My mom smoothed my hair down with her hand, gliding it across my cheek. That was all the reassurance I needed.
Quickly, I opened the door and was taken aback by the man standing before me. His hair was cut, his stubble was gone and a brand new pair of glasses sat on his nose. They were slim and black. They complemented his features perfectly. As fancy as his face appeared, though, he was dressed as only Jason Kelly would be. He had a navy blue t-shirt on underneath a blue-and-white checkered button-down oxford. He was holding an elegant bouquet of calla lilies, wrapped with a simple satin ribbon.
He handed me the bouquet of gorgeous flowers. "You look beautiful."
As I held the flowers in my hands, I glanced back at my handsome date. Since the flowers were no longer blocking my view of his chest, I saw it peeking from behind the checked oxford. The Camp North Star t-shirt I gave him for his birthday all those years ago. The shirt I had assumed he'd forgotten about a long time ago. I couldn't believe my eyes.
"You remember this?" Jason asked, grasping his shirt between his fingers.
"How could I forget?" I asked. "I can't believe you still have it."
"Are you kidding? It's one of my most prized possessions. Always has been," Jason replied, his voice soft and gentle as he took my hand in his.
Wow, this is all happening. This is real. The man I've loved for fourteen years wants me in return.
Jason entered the apartment, giving me a quick peck on the cheek. My skin grew hot beneath his touch and I started to feel flustered.
"Hey, Mrs. Foster," Jason said with a large smile.
"Jason, you look nice," Mom said.
I stopped myself from rolling my eyes in embarrassment. I never dreamed that at twenty-three years old, my mother would be present for a first date. Funny how things never turn out quite as planned. I was starting to realize that my plans were never set in stone. They were ideas of how things should be. And it was okay to have new ideas, new plans, new dreams.
"Where are we going?" I asked Jason as he opened the passenger door to his Jeep Wrangler. I gladly climbed in as I waited for his answer. He just smiled and closed the door, trotting around the car, not saying a word. He climbed in next to me, still silent.
"You know you want to tell me," I flirted. But, he didn't budge. He just shook his head and tried his best to focus on the road.
Ten minutes later, I knew exactly where we were going. Once again, this man knew exactly what to do…exactly how to impress me, to bring the memories flooding back to my lovesick brain.
"I can't believe you remembered."
"I've already told you, Haddie. When it comes to you, to us…I remember everything."
"You're going to love this pizza," Auden said. It was a regular Saturday night and we were having a sleepover at her house.
"You've never been to Bill's Pub, honey?" Mrs. Kelly looked at me as if I was an alien from a distant planet. Everyone in our town went to Bill's on a somewhat regular basis. But my family didn't. My dad was highly allergic to peanuts. When my parents moved to the town after they got married, they visited the infamous neighborhood pizza parlor, only to discover that every table was given a bowl of peanuts to eat. My dad couldn't be near peanuts or the surfaces where peanuts had been. Needless to say, my parents left Bill's Pub as quickly as they entered it. And never returned.
"Her dad's allergic to peanuts," Auden replied. "You knew this, Mom." She rolled her eyes and twirled her hair as we pulled into the parking lot.
"Are you allergic?" Jason asked from the other side of the minivan. He looked concerned.
"No, not at all."
"Have you ever had them?" Mr. Kelly asked, looking concerned as well.
"Yes, at my grandpa's house. And my mom gets me peanut butter cups sometimes," I said. Both men in the family looked like their fears had been calmed.
We walked into the restaurant, and as we were led to our table, I heard the sound of crunching under our feet.
"That's the shells," Jason said with a grin. "You can throw them wherever you want."
"Within reason," Mrs. Kelly corrected him.
We sat down and Auden's parents began to read the menu. Luckily Maya was sleeping at a friend's house, so no one would be forced to share an anchovy pizza with her. She was the only person I knew who actually liked to eat them. The thought of them made me gag. Mr. Kelly usually appeased her and shared the disgusting dish, while the rest of us crinkled our lips in disgust.
"Are you gonna get Cinderella cheese?" Jason asked as we popped peanuts in our mouths. I glared at Auden. She'd told him about my stupid habit as a little kid. I called mozzarella cheese Cinderella cheese up until I was seven years old. And as a fourteen-year-old who was hopelessly smitten with my friend's older brother, it wasn't something I wanted to be reminded of.
"You never said 'vault.'" Auden shrugged, her words defensive and a little bratty. Sometimes my best friend drove me crazy, but I loved her just the same.
"True," I said, rolling my eyes.
For the rest of the meal, it was hard for me to make eye contact with Jason. I couldn't figure out why he teased me. It wasn't usually his style. Sure, he made fun of Auden every so often, but with me he was always kind and sweet. I hated to think that something had changed.
I was quiet for a long time before excusing myself to go to the washroom. When I walked out of the ladies' room, I was startled to see Jason leaning against the wall, looking my way. I looked behind me, unsure of why he was standing there.
"Auden's not with me."
"I know. She's still at the table," Jason said casually.
; "Oh."
"I needed to say something…to you."
"Um…okay," I said, pressing my clammy hands into my pockets as he closed the gap between us. My heart thumped rapidly in my teenage chest as my one and only crush got closer and closer to me.
"I'm sorry about the cheese thing. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"Oh…no, I'm fine," I said, looking away.
"No, I can tell. You got upset."
"Yeah," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "You were different."
"I'm sorry," he said, looking me in the eyes. His green eyes sparkled in the track lighting above our heads. My cheeks reddened as his lips grew closer and closer to mine. Gently, his soft lips pressed gently to mine and my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't believe it. My very first kiss…and it was with Jason. My head was swimming. I knew it wasn't his first kiss. After all, he was seventeen and had lots of dates. But, that didn't matter. In this very special moment, the boy I adored was kissing me. On the lips! And it exceeded any expectation I'd ever had.
Just as quickly as it had started, Jason pulled his lips from mine. He gave me a warm smile, running the pads of his thumb down my cheek before turning to walk back to the table. I stood next to the bathroom door, completely stunned. Several women walked past me, each saying, "Excuse me." Finally, I was able to make my way back to the dinner table, even though my brain was still locked in that moment with Jason. It was my first kiss and he'd made it unforgettable.
"Did you honestly think I'd forget our first kiss?" Jason asked as he pulled into the nearest parking spot.
"I guess I did." I shrugged. "I mean, it was special for me, but…"
"And me," he insisted, killing the engine and taking my hand in his.
There was a reason I thought he'd forgotten, but maybe he'd forgotten that, too. Forgotten how he completely broke my heart just days after that kiss.
"This is mortifying," I said, shaking my head, not making eye contact, and wanting desperately to change the subject.
"Going back to the place we first kissed?" He looks confused.
"That was my first kiss…like, ever."
"That was your first kiss?"
"You couldn't tell?" My eyes widened in utter surprise.
"You seemed nervous, yeah. But, I had no idea," he said with a laugh. "Is it a total guy move if I think that's pretty awesome?"
"That you were my first kiss? Why?" I smiled, the tension lessening with each laugh that came from his beautiful mouth. He squeezed my hand in his.
"Because I'm planning to be your last."
I was stunned, frozen.
I can't believe he just said that.
I was elated, surprised, and (if I was being honest myself) a little turned on. Jason was unfazed. He didn't look the least bit embarrassed or exposed. He wanted his intentions to be clear.
He quickly hopped out of the Jeep, walking around to open my door for me. He took my hand in his and helped me out. We walked, hand in hand, into Bill's Pizza, the place where we first kissed. I hadn't been there in years. I had accompanied the Kellys there on many occasions. I loved the pizza so much and wished I could come here with my own family.
Jason put his name in at the hostess station before raising an eyebrow and dragging me toward the washroom. A nervous giggle escaped my lips as we stood in the exact same spot as we did nine years ago. The corners of Jason's mouth rose as he looked into my eyes, running his fingers through my hair. I took a deep breath in, waiting to feel his lips on mine.
Just as he leaned in, the door opened and hit me square in the back.
"Ouch," I yelped.
"Oh no! Are you all right?" Jason asked after the woman apologized and walked past us, looking confused.
"Yeah, sure…I guess that wasn't how you pictured, was it?" I asked with a laugh.
"Just because things aren't as you pictured them, doesn't mean they're any less perfect," Jason said, moving me back to the wood paneling. Swallowing hard, I backed into the wall, leaning my hands against the knotty pine.
Jason kissed my neck, his lips barely tracing a soft line up to my chin. My breath grew heavy as I tried to tune out the noises of the restaurant. By the time his lips reached mine, I was aching for him, completely ready for my second kiss with Jason Kelly.
His lips brushed mine gently at first, just like they did all those years ago. But, this time, I knew what I was doing and I wanted more. So much more. His fingers threaded through my hair as I opened my mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss. His tongue swept into my mouth and I felt as if I'd come apart right there in the hallway of a family restaurant.
After several moments, Jason gently took my bottom lip into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth. It was the most sensual feeling I'd ever had. Part of me wanted to tell him to forget about dinner and take me home to his place. But, would that be cheap of me? This was only our first date…although we'd had over a decade of foreplay.
I resisted the urge to pull Jason back to his car and followed him to our table. We sat in the clunky wooden booth and smiled as a bowl of peanuts was placed between us. Jason ordered a Diet Coke for me and a beer for himself.
"Would it be awful if I sent my mom a text? I want to make sure the baby's okay."
"I'm surprised you waited this long," Jason teased. I arched an eyebrow and he smiled. "I'm kidding. Check on the baby."
Quickly, I sent a text to my mom: Everything okay?
Placing the phone on the table, I gave him a sheepish smile. It chimed within seconds.
I glanced at the screen: Everything's perfect. Enjoy your date!
The rest of the night went by easily with playful banter and revisited memories. When I brought up his old tree house, Jason became quiet. And I knew I had to pester him about it. Maybe, just maybe I'd stumbled upon his "Cinderella cheese" topic.
"I want to know why you never let us go up there," I pressed.
"You know why," he said, fidgeting with the peanut bowl.
"You're blushing," I flirted, kicking him lightly under the table.
His eyes grew serious as he looked into mine.
"I know you went up there, Haddie."
"What?" I'm stunned once again. Auden and I had gone up into his tree house just once…and never went again. We were snooping, big time. All of a sudden, it made sense. I realized why Jason had gotten shy.
"You dropped your lip gloss. I found it behind the trunk," he said.
"Oops," I said, looking embarrassed. "How did you know it was mine?"
He blushes. "It was strawberry. You always smelled like strawberries. Auden smelled like…Auden," he said, grimacing at the thought of his sister's scent.
"It was only once, I promise."
"It's okay. They weren't all mine, though." He shifted in his seat, looking awfully uncomfortable.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I snickered as I stirred my Diet Coke flirtatiously with my straw. But, I knew exactly what he was talking about.
"Jason said we weren't allowed up here!" I yelled up to Auden as she climbed up the wooden stairs attached to the large oak tree in the Kellys' backyard. We'd been scheming to sneak up into Jason's tree house for weeks, but I never intended to go through with it. He'd warned us that if we went up there, Auden would get her butt kicked. Hard. But, I guess she wasn't very scared.
Jason was thirteen and I had just turned ten. I knew by then that I had a crush on him. I had gotten used to blushing in his presence. He and his buddies spent a lot of their time up in his old tree house. We'd hear them laughing up there for hours and we got curious. That day, Jason had gone to his friend, Lucas's house, so Auden felt it was safe.
"I'm the one he's going to beat up, not you! Stop being such a baby!" Auden said, just as I reached the top. I looked into the small wooden space. A simple desk sat in one corner of the small square, and a trunk with a very large combination lock sat in another.
"Wow," I said, looking around the tiny space, "this doesn't look too impressive."
> "Not yet," Auden said with a Cheshire grin as she walked toward the simple black trunk, covered by all sorts of stickers from the European countries their family had visited over the years.
"It's locked, dumbass."
"This is my dad's old gym lock. I know the combination." Quickly, she fiddled with the lock, but it didn't budge, despite her pulls and yanks.
"It must be a different lock," I said with a shrug. "Come on, let's go."
"No, this is it. It's neon green with pink numbers…straight outta the 80s. That's why Jason likes it so much. Just gimme a second to figure it out." She spun the lock this way and that until we heard a tiny pop right as the lock sprang open.
"You did it!" I squeal, walking to her side.
"Ew! My brother's a pig!"
Inside the trunk were dirty magazines…and lots of them. So many Playboy magazines stacked one on top of another. Next to the magazines were candy bars, Twizzlers and all sorts of snacks. Taking my hands out of my pockets, I quickly grabbed a piece of evidence from the pile.
"So, wait…he comes out here to look at naked ladies?" My voice came out like a whine. I could never compare to the women in the pages of those magazines. They were perfect. Huge boobs, rounded hips and smooth skin. My body was getting awkward, and I swear I was getting my first pimple. I had the flattest chest in my class and no hips to speak of. To say I was intimidated by the images in my hands would be a giant understatement.
"Looks like it," Auden said, placing the magazines carefully in the trunk. "At least the pages aren't sticking together."
"Eww, you're gross, Auden!" I said, pushing her on the arm. She laughed.
"If you had a brother, you'd understand," she said, rolling her eyes. "C'mon, let's get outta here."
As quickly as possible, we locked the trunk up and ran back to the house. Jason was still at Lucas's house. We were in the clear. Thank God.
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