by Lisa Tucker
By the time he got off the bus, he was clearing his throat every few seconds, which his mom called his tic. She hated the tic, but the more she talked about how bad it sounded, the more William found himself doing it, except now he was doing it with nobody around but Pearl, and she wasn’t griping at him. She did give him a glass of water and tell him to drink it, but a minute later, he was at it again. It felt like a piece of food was stuck in the back of his throat, and even though he knew it wasn’t real, he couldn’t stop acting like it was. Finally, Pearl gave him a big package of gum and told him to chew instead. When it worked, he was surprised nobody else ever thought of this, even Daddy. Pearl was really, really smart.
He was chomping away on his fourteenth piece of gum when his mom came home with Maisie. She told him he was going to rot his teeth with sugar, but after he held up the package of sugarless gum, she frowned. He knew she was hoping that he’d mess up and answer her questions with words; she was always trying to trick him into talking. Finally, she said, “I miss your sweet voice, baby,” which made him feel sad, but he stuck another piece of gum in his mouth and went back to clicking Legos together. When his mom went upstairs to get ready for her date with Kyle, she told him to watch Maisie, but that was easy because Maisie was just sitting on the couch, watching SpongeBob on TV and sucking on frozen peas. She liked frozen peas better than anything, which normally William thought was really weird, but now he wondered if he’d miss his sister whenever he saw a bag of frozen peas, or even cooked peas. He sort of wished they were taking Maisie with them and Mommy, too, but that was a dumb wish and he knew it. Maisie would cry for Mommy until his ears hurt, and if Mommy herself was going to Philadelphia, they wouldn’t have to go sneaking off to Aunt Lila’s in the first place.
He’d been thinking about Aunt Lila’s apartment all afternoon. He didn’t remember it that well, but he thought it was really small and he knew it was on the ninth floor of a super tall building. The ninth floor was bad—he was still afraid of heights, even though he’d finished the Challenge where he jumped off a cliff —but worse was the small part. Pearl said Aunt Lila had three bedrooms, the same as their own house, but one was for her and Uncle Patrick, and one was like their office, so that only left one for him and Pearl to share. She said they’d work something out, but William liked having his very own bedroom with the rocket ship wallpaper Daddy had hung up. He didn’t want to undress around his big sister. He was also worried about burping or picking his nose or something that would make Pearl decide that he wasn’t her friend anymore, but just a dirty little boy like she used to call him before Daddy died.
He wished he knew for sure whether Pearl was right about Aunt Lila really wanting them. She almost never played with him like his aunts and uncles on his mom’s side, and even at the funeral, she stared at him with those freaky big eyes of hers and didn’t say much at all. In his whole life, he couldn’t remember ever doing anything with Aunt Lila all by herself.
His mother and Kyle finally left, and Pearl gave William another slap five and said it was time to do their plan. She called Staci and then she called her other friend Danielle, who was always babysitting for lots of money but was going to take care of Maisie for free because Danielle knew how mean Mommy was, trying to make them move to godforsaken New Mexico, thousands of miles away from their father’s twin. Both Staci and Danielle were there in like ten minutes, and then, before William could even pick up his Legos or give Maisie more peas, their duffel bags were loaded in Staci’s trunk and they were pulling out of the driveway.
“Goodbye,” Staci said, “and screw you!” She was giving their house the finger and laughing.
“Don’t do that,” Pearl said. “That was my dad’s house, too.”
Staci said sorry, but William’s stomach hurt, remembering how much his father had loved this place. He would walk around outside, throwing seed on the ground for the birds and showing William stuff like the little vines that grew on the side brick wall or the frogs that had moved into their tiny pond. That’s how they discovered the big hole in the oak tree, where Daddy decided to hide the reminders and other cool stuff, just for William. Daddy said he wanted to buy this house someday, rather than just renting it, ‘cause then they could stay there forever. “Maybe you’ll live here with your children,” Daddy said. “Would you like that, buddy?” William said yes, even though he didn’t know if he’d ever have children, since he didn’t like girls at all, especially Sophie Peterson, who called him dumbo and laughed whenever he missed the ball at recess.
Now that his father was dead because he and his mom had fought so much and he had to leave the house and not see the kids anymore, William knew he’d never, ever get married. Aunt Trish had never gotten married and she was the happiest of all his aunts. Mommy said Trish was simple, that’s why she was always happy. William wished he was simple, too, so he could be happy rather than worried all the time.
“I’ve never driven in Philly before,” Staci said. “I’m kind of psyched to try driving in all that traffic.”
They were on the highway already. William knew a rest stop was coming up that had great doughnuts, but Pearl had already told him they were going to hurry to Aunt Lila’s, just in case something went wrong on Mom and Kyle’s date.
“It’ll be all right,” Pearl said. “My aunt’s high-rise is on the very edge of the city, close to the river. We can get off on the South Street exit, and then it’s just a few blocks and we’re there.”
“How do we know she’s home?” William said.
“We don’t, but I couldn’t call her.” Pearl looked at Staci. “My mom’s lawyer is such an asshole. He’d probably have Aunt Lila arrested if she agreed to let us come there.”
Staci nodded, but she said, “I don’t get it. If the guy’s that big of a dick, won’t he have your aunt arrested after you’re there?”
“Sure, he’ll try. But he won’t get away with it. Trust me on that.”
William could tell from Pearl’s low voice that she was talking about her big secret plan. Whatever it was. He was dying to know, but he knew she wouldn’t tell him. It was okay, because when she’d asked why he was bringing Daddy’s toolbox, which was heavy and so big it took up a lot of space in his duffel bag, William had said, “That’s MY secret.” Pearl laughed, but he didn’t feel bad. He’d been kind of worried she’d force him to take off the padlock and then she’d see the gun inside and he’d have to tell her everything.
At the last minute, he’d remembered his father telling him that no matter how nice and easy things looked, he had to always be prepared. William didn’t think Kyle would show up at Aunt Lila’s and do all the other things on Daddy’s list for the last Challenge, but what if he was just too dumb to see how it could happen? His father had said the point of the Challenges was to teach William how to be ready for every possibility. “I know you won’t have to jump off a cliff,” Daddy said. “But you will have to do things you’re afraid of. This will teach you how to feel the fear and do it anyway.”
It was a good thing Daddy had made him jump off a cliff, because he was right: William was already having to do something he was afraid of by running away. His teachers said William was the best-behaved boy, ‘cause he didn’t break any rules or cause trouble like a lot of the other kids at Chandler Elementary. His mother said he’d always been like this, that he was born good. Even when he was just a baby, cruising around the house in his walker, he wouldn’t go near the DVD player or Daddy’s computer or the stove, and if he did get near them accidentally, he would shake his head no and hurry off the other way. “You were my angel baby,” Mommy said. And if Pearl was in the room, Mommy laughed and said, “And Pearl was my devil.” It was only a joke, and Pearl laughed, too—until Daddy moved out. Then Mommy said the same thing and Pearl just stared at her and so Mommy never talked about angels or devils again. William was glad because he thought being an angel was like being a girl, since angels all wore dresses.
He was glad he was breaking a rule
now, too. He’d been teased at school for being chicken, but nobody would think he was chicken when they heard he’d run away. If only he wasn’t so worried about everything. It was getting dark and every time a car came up behind them, he squinted out the back window, trying to see if it was his mom’s Ford or, even worse, a police car. He was out of new gum and the old piece in his mouth was getting small and dry and yucky, but he couldn’t spit it out or his tic would come back worse than ever because he was so thirsty.
By the time they got to Philadelphia, William had to go to the bathroom, and he was listening to music on his boom box to distract himself. Staci was talking about this creepy neighbor of hers and asked why Pearl had been standing in his yard, talking to him, but Pearl said she wasn’t really talking, and then she changed the subject to something about their school that William didn’t even try to follow.
Staci said, “Can’t you get him to turn that thing off?”
“He’s just nervous,” Pearl said. William thought she sounded nervous, too. “We’re almost there anyway. Let him play his music if he wants.” She turned around to William. “I bet you can get Aunt Lila to buy you an iPod, even though Mom wouldn’t buy you one for Christmas. Then you can listen to anything as loud as you like.”
William smiled because he wanted an iPod, but most of all he wanted to get to Aunt Lila’s, fast. “Almost there” didn’t mean what he thought it meant, though, and by the time they pulled in front of Aunt Lila’s building, he had to pee so bad he was dying. He was glad Staci decided not to try to find a parking space, but he wished it wasn’t taking so long for Pearl and Staci to hug each other goodbye. Before they went into the building, Pearl asked why he was fidgeting so much and he said he really had to go to the bathroom. She leaned over and whispered, “Do you think you could cry about it? Because if Aunt Lila isn’t home, I want you to cry as hard as you ever have in your life. Think about Dad if you have to. Otherwise, we’ll have to walk all over the city in the dark and even then, we might not find a bathroom for you. City people don’t like letting kids use their bathrooms.”
William said he would try. Finally, they dragged their duffel bags through the glass door and inside the lobby and Pearl told the man standing there who they’d come to visit. He picked up a phone and held it to his ear, but didn’t say anything. He told Pearl that Lila Cole wasn’t answering. “I’m sorry, but she doesn’t appear to be home.”
At which point, William did just what Pearl wanted: he started bawling like a big fat baby. He felt stupid, but it wasn’t that hard. He was scared, he was hungry, he was thirsty, and he was sure he was going to pee his pants if he didn’t get into Aunt Lila’s apartment right away.
“What’s wrong with the little guy?” the man said.
“We’ve been traveling all day to visit our aunt,” Pearl said. “She’s our father’s twin sister and my brother loves her so much.” She knelt down and put her arm around William. “It’s really been hard on him since our father died last month. Aunt Lila is all we have left of him now.”
“Aw, the poor little guy,” the man said. “What is he, about six? I have a boy his age.” He looked at William. “I’m sure she’ll be back in an hour or so. She never goes out anymore.”
William looked at Pearl and she nodded, which was good because it felt easier now to keep crying than to stop. The man guessing he was six years old was bad enough, but saying it might be an hour? He knew he’d never make it that long and then he’d pee all over the floor and this man would yell at him and call the police and he’d have to go to jail. His mom had told him peeing in pubic was illegal after they saw this homeless guy do it down by the river one time.
“Okay, okay,” the man said. “If you’re sure Ms. Cole is expecting you, I guess I can let you wait upstairs for her.”
“She is,” Pearl said. “We’ve been talking about this visit for weeks. I bet she’s just out buying some of William’s favorite foods.” She sighed. “He’s always been her favorite.”
“Will you stop crying if I let you wait upstairs?” the man said, smiling.
William nodded. Then the man took a big ring with zillions of keys out of a desk drawer, and they all headed to the elevator.
He pushed up his glasses and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket; he was still sniffing and coughing, but he was excited by all the lights in the elevator. The man let him push the button for floor nine; then the metal box shook a little and up they went.
Aunt Lila’s apartment number was 909. The man knocked three times before he opened the door, and even then he said, “Ms. Cole?” and waited a minute before he stepped back and let them inside.
“Thank you,” Pearl said, smiling a weird, fakey smile. “My aunt being away was problematic, but you’ve solved the situation. I’m sure my aunt will thank you, too.”
As soon as the man nodded and left, Pearl took William down the hall to the bathroom and a few minutes later, he was fine again. His sister was in the living room, standing by the duffel bags, texting on her cell phone. When she clicked it shut, she said, “Danielle said they aren’t home yet. Good.” Then she came over and hugged William. “You were great with that doorman. The crying was brilliant.” She leaned back and smiled. “You’re a lot smarter than they give you credit for.”
He shrugged, but he felt warm and happy inside. Other than Daddy, nobody had ever called him smart before.
“I bet you’re hungry, aren’t you?” Pearl said. When he nodded, she said, “Okay, we’ll look for something to eat, but first let’s figure out where to put these duffel bags. We don’t want Aunt Lila to walk in the door and stumble over them. Plus, it looks like we’re planning on staying for a while.”
“We are,” William said.
“Of course, dummy,” Pearl said, lifting her bag. “But I want to explain that to her first.”
He wished he’d kept his mouth shut so he wouldn’t have switched back to “dummy” so soon. He was too short to lift his bag, but he scooted it along the wood floor, out of the living room, past the bathroom, past Aunt Lila and Uncle Patrick’s office, to where the two bedrooms faced each other on opposite sides of the hall. Pearl started into the one on the left and he was following so close that he ran into his sister when she suddenly stopped.
“Aunt Lila?” Pearl said.
William dropped the handles of his bag and moved to where his sister was standing, and sure enough, there was Aunt Lila, asleep in bed.
“Aunt Lila,” Pearl said louder, moving a little closer. She repeated this four times, each time getting closer, until finally both Pearl and William were standing right by the bed, looking at their aunt’s face.
“She’s super tired,” William said.
Pearl wasn’t listening. She was shaking Aunt Lila and saying “wake up” really loudly.
“She’s going to be mad,” William said. He was thinking of their mom, who yelled if they woke her up when she was super tired. Unless they were sick and going to vomit. Then it was okay to wake her up.
“There’s something wrong with her,” Pearl said. She was pulling on Aunt Lila’s arms. She finally managed to lift her up but as soon as she let go, Aunt Lila flopped back down again.
“Is she dead?” William whispered.
“No, she’s breathing,” Pearl said. She looked at the bedside table and picked up a pill bottle. She read the label and said, “Shit.”
“She forgot her medicine?” William said.
“I’ve heard of this stuff; some girl at school offered it to me after Dad died. It’s supposed to be a serious sleeping pill. Now she’ll never wake up until tomorrow morning!” Pearl shook her head so hard pieces of her blond hair were flopping against her back. “Which means we have a big problem!”
“Why?”
She ignored William and walked out of the bedroom. He followed her. When they got into the living room, she said, “Where the hell is Uncle Patrick anyway?”
“Maybe he’s at a bar like Mommy and Kyle.”
&n
bsp; “No way. Haven’t you heard Mom talk about how Aunt Lila and Uncle Patrick never do anything fun? She thinks they live like they’re a hundred years old. Mom and Dad used to fight about it. He said they lived a life of the mind, but Mom couldn’t understand that. Mom never understood anything about Dad or Lila. Or me.” Pearl crossed her arms and started tapping her foot on the floor. “There has to be some way to reach him. He has a cell phone, right?”
William didn’t know, but Pearl wasn’t really asking him, he could tell.
“I’m hungry,” he finally said, to remind her, but also to get her to be calm like she was before.
She frowned. “Okay, okay, Jesus! I’ll get you something to eat.” She took him into the kitchen and handed him a bag of bagels. After that she went crazy looking all over the apartment for Uncle Patrick’s cell phone number. She never did find it, so finally she decided to call a number under a magnet on the refrigerator. It said “Marriott,” which she said was a hotel. “It can’t be him, but maybe whoever it is knows how to reach him. If we don’t find him tonight, we’re fucked.”