“Man, Sonja, look at all this food,” Trina said.
“C’mon, girls. You better eat up. We don’t want this food to go to waste,” Sonja said.
There were pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns. Sonja pulled apple, orange, and cranberry juice containers from the refrigerator.
I had never witnessed this much food on any given day. And for once I didn’t have to worry about fighting my brothers for any of it. That was one of the things I hated so much about my life. We had so little that we were always fighting over scraps. If you didn’t fight, you might be left out. Everything at home was just depressing. I couldn’t remember the last time I just had fun with my family. It was nothing like when I was with Alexis and the other girls. I laughed, joked, and just had a good time. Even Trina was starting to be all right.
Before we could finish our breakfast, we heard noises at the front door and Alexis’s dad walked in.
“Hey there. You girls having a good weekend, huh?” He smiled at everyone at the table.
“Daddy.” Alexis leaned up to accept his kiss. “I thought you were coming home Sunday night,” she said.
“I was, but my business wrapped up early, so I figured I’d come see what the Lansing girls were up to.”
“Mom’s not here. She went out of town,” Alexis mumbled. “I thought she told you she was going.”
“So, what are you ladies up to for the rest of this glorious Saturday afternoon?” He ignored her comment, then lifted a piece of bacon from Alexis’s plate.
“We don’t have any concrete plans. Why, did you need help with something?” Alexis asked.
“Thanks for being considerate, but I don’t plan to do anything but hit the golf course as quickly as possible.”
“Daddy, I’ll be up to see you when I finish eating.” Alexis smiled.
“Okay, pumpkin. Um, ah, I mean, Alexis.” Mr. Lansing winked at his daughter before he left the kitchen.
I saw Trina watch Mr. Lansing as he walked down the hall. “Have I ever told you your daddy is just way too fine? Too fine for his own good,” she added, licking her lips. Alexis threw her napkin across the table at her.
“I’m gonna tell my mama on you,” she teased. “That has to be the grossest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“You know who’s really fine?” Camille asked. When she had everyone’s attention, she looked up from her plate and said, “That Donovan, that’s who.”
I couldn’t hold back my smile.
Trina turned to me. “So, why don’t you tell us what’s up with you and him. Y’all clutched or what?”
“Ka-kling,” Camille dramatically said.
I blushed as they all busted out laughing.
“So what are we gonna do today?” I asked, trying to change the subject. I didn’t want to think about Donovan because I dang sure didn’t want them to think he had my nose wide open.
“Well, whatever we do,” Alexis said, getting up again, “we gotta be back here by three, four at the latest.”
“Oh, customers, huh?” Camille asked. “You think they’re gonna show?”
Alexis shrugged. “I don’t know, but I told people we’d open up for business, so we gotta be here.”
“You guys go ahead and finish eating. I’m about to go upstairs and take a shower,” I said.
We ended up doing nothing but lounging around the house watching movies and nibbling on sweets. Just before three o’clock, the doorbell rang. Alexis walked over and opened the door. Some girl named Darlene and three others came bouncing into the room.
“Hey, girl. I’m so sorry we missed you yesterday. Thanks for opening up today, though,” Darlene said.
The girls followed Alexis and Trina up the stairs and into the room. Me and Camille stayed downstairs in the family room watching TV. After about an hour and a half, they all walked out with bags of new outfits.
“Mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money.” Trina laughed as she waved a fistful of cash.
I shook my head. Trina was like a crack addict or something, only she was addicted to money. Me, I just didn’t see their little enterprise lasting forever.
Trina stuffed the money into her purse. “On that note, I’m about to roll out. Got places to go, people to see, things to do.”
“I’ll bet you do.” I laughed.
“Don’t hate the playa. Hate the game,” Trina said.
“I’m hating that ancient nineties’ saying,” I responded.
Our laughter was interrupted by the sound of a blaring horn outside. Camille looked out the window. “There’s my mom. Angel, it looks like your mother is pulling up right behind her.”
Alexis walked everybody to the door. We waved as Angel and Camille bounced down the driveway to their moms.
“You want me to give you a ride home, Jasmine?” Trina offered.
“Naw, girl. You go in the opposite direction.” I looked at Alexis. “You still gon’ take me home?”
“Yeah, no problem.”
We said our good-byes and I went back in and plopped down on the sofa and picked up the remote.
“Let me go shower and change, then I’ll drop you off,” Alexis said.
I was flipping through the channels, not paying attention to anything because my mind had drifted back to Donovan. I looked up when I heard the front door open. Alexis’s mom came into the living room looking like she had just stepped off a runway. She wore a silk tank top, white capris, and high-heeled sandals. She had a scarf tied around her head like she was a movie star or something. She seemed surprised to see me.
“Hello, there. You’re Alexis’s friend from the group, right?”
I stood up. “Yes, ma’am. I’m Jasmine. How are you?”
Mrs. Lansing sighed as she dropped her keys and her Chanel bag on the bar. “Don’t even ask.” She walked over and all but fell onto the sofa. “I’m just utterly exhausted.”
I didn’t know what to say. Her eyes were red, like she had been crying. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her lip quivered like she was trying not to cry again.
“Are you okay, Mrs. Lansing?” I finally asked.
“I’m fine,” she replied, sitting up. “Have a seat. What’s your name again?”
“Jasmine.”
“Have a seat, Jasmine. I would like to talk to you.”
I looked around nervously. The last thing I wanted to be doing was sitting up having a conversation with Alexis’s mom.
“You’re good friends with my daughter, right?”
I nodded.
“Then maybe you can tell me why she hates me.” She let loose the tears. “I just don’t understand it. I try to be a good mother. Lexi doesn’t want for anything. I give and I give and I give. And she just takes, takes, takes. And she still hates me.”
Was she serious? Where was all this coming from? “Mrs. Lansing, I don’t think Alexis hates you.”
“Yes, she does. I see it in her eyes. Our relationship hasn’t been the same…since…since…” Her voice trailed off.
“Since Sharon?”
Mrs. Lansing jerked her head around. “She told you about Sharon?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Alexis had shared how they’d put her little sister in a home for autistic kids. Mrs. Lansing felt guilty about doing that.
Mrs. Lansing glared at me. “I guess you think I’m a horrible mother, too.”
All I could think at that very moment was, why me? “I don’t think anything, Mrs. Lansing.”
“You don’t understand. No one does. I put Sharon in that home because I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t care for her. Now everybody hates me for it.”
I stared at her. What did she expect me to say?
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Alexis coming down the stairs. She saw her mother’s tear-streaked face and immediately turned up her nose. “Mother, what are you doing?”
Her mother dabbed her eyes. “I was just talking to Jasmine, that’s all.”
Alexis rolled her eyes. “We gotta go. Come on,
Jasmine.”
“See what I’m talking about?” Mrs. Lansing said as I stood up. “She hates me.”
“Mother, please.”
Her mother threw up her hands. “Fine, I won’t bother your precious little friends.” She stood, snatched her purse up, and stomped out of the living room and up the stairs.
Alexis grabbed her keys and headed to the door. “I’m sorry about that,” she said. “I told you my mom had issues.”
Normally, I would have protested. But this time, I had to agree with Alexis. Her mom had some serious issues.
13
I could hardly think straight. Donovan had called me last night and asked me to go to the movies. I was tired of making excuses and had agreed to go. But now that it was time for me to get ready, I was nervous as all get-out.
I had told my grandmother I had a Good Girlz community service event and wouldn’t be home until sometime around midnight. I hated lying to her but I just couldn’t risk them telling me I couldn’t go.
When I emerged from my bedroom wearing a black prairie skirt and Nikki’s lavender blouse, my brothers started giggling.
“She’s wearing a frilly dress.” Jalen laughed. Jaheim and Jaquan were right behind him. I did my best to ignore them because I wanted to make it out of the door without tumbling with my brothers. I knew I didn’t need to be fighting minutes before I was going to meet Donovan. This was our first real date.
When we arrived at the theater—after he picked me up around the corner—I couldn’t stop smiling. And the way he wouldn’t take his eyes off of me didn’t help matters any.
Donovan bought our tickets to Idlewild and we made out way inside. As we stood in line for popcorn, someone ran up and smacked me on the butt. I turned around frowning until I saw Alexis and Camille giggling behind me.
“I told you that was her!” Camille said.
“In a skirt, nonetheless,” Alexis commented.
“Um, you mind if we speak to you in private for just a sec?” Camille asked.
Donovan smiled as he moved up to the counter. “What kind of candy do you want before you go?” he asked.
“I’ll take some Twizzlers,” I said.
Once we were walking toward the ladies’ room, Alexis said, “You really look good, girl.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“What y’all doing after the movies?” Camille asked.
I shrugged. “Going home. You know I can’t stay out late and risk getting into any trouble.”
They nodded as we all made our way into stalls.
After we handled our business, we walked back out in the foyer. “Well, since you all up in la-la land with your man, we gon’ let you get back to him,” Camille said.
“We’re going to see Final Destination Four,” Alexis said.
“Ooooh, I wanted to see that,” I said.
“You can dump Prince Charming and come watch it with us,” Angel said.
“Yeah, okay,” I replied. “Y’all enjoy the movie. I’m goin’ back to my man.” I smiled slyly as I walked back toward our theater.
I settled back in next to Donovan. As the movie started, he stretched his arm along my shoulders, hugging me. I scooted in close to watch the movie. Not that I was able to focus anyway. I could barely sit still. All I kept thinking about was what I would wear to the dance, how I’d get my hair done. There was just so much to think about. I knew Tori and her crew would try to show me up and I was determined she wouldn’t make me look bad.
Before I knew it, the movie was over. Afterward, we went to IHOP, along with most of the students who had piled into the Edwards theater complex. I didn’t want to stay out too late, because I didn’t want to get in any trouble. I wanted to make sure I walked a straight line and stayed on top of school and housework so that my mother would buy me a new dress for the dance.
That night I got home nearly forty-five minutes earlier than I had promised. I thought for sure that would make me look good in my mom’s eyes. My grandmother told my mother absolutely everything I did every day. I just hoped she’d report that, too. I stepped over my sleeping brothers who were stretched out on the living room floor and went into my bedroom.
I was surprised to see my grandmother up reading the Bible so late at night.
“Hey, Granny. What are you still doing up?” I asked.
My grandmother looked up from the Bible. “Chile, I don’t sleep a wink until I know my babies are in safely. I pray that you guys make it in until the moment I hear you arrive.”
I sat at the foot of my grandmother’s full-sized bed, which sat on the opposite side of the room from my twin bed.
“So did you use to do this when Mama was a girl?”
“Use to? Hmm.” My grandmother chuckled. “Your mother gets in at three in the morning. I usually fall off to sleep about three-fifteen. And when you’re not here, well, let’s just say I don’t get the best sleep.” She patted my hand. “But I am so happy to see you making friends. Even though I know you’re at a friend’s house for the weekend, I still talk to my God and ask Him to watch over you. Wherever you are.”
Talk about feeling guilty. Here I was sneaking off to party and my grandmother was sitting up worrying about me. “Well, I’m about to shower and get some sleep. I love you,” I said as I eased into the bathroom. “I’ll keep it down, so you can go to sleep.”
My grandmother smiled, then flicked out her night-light.
I beat the sun up the next morning and was now in the kitchen whipping up eggs in a bowl as bacon sizzled on the griddle. I had some biscuits in the oven and grits boiling on the stove. After breakfast, I planned to clean the kitchen and start the laundry, so that my grandmother and mother would be able to relax.
Of course, everyone was excited to wake up to breakfast and they quickly gulped it down. Afterward, I cleaned up and quickly started to sort the clothes. When my grandmother tried to take over, I turned to her and said, “Granny, I wanted to give you a break for a change. So go kick up your feet and relax somewhere. I got this.”
My grandmother laughed. “Chile, you ain’t got to tell me twice. I need to catch up on Scripture for tomorrow’s sermon anyhow.”
“Now, Granny, you know and I know that there isn’t a Scripture in the Good Book that you don’t know by heart.”
My grandmother swatted at me and giggled as she turned to leave.
“Everything looks so nice around here.”
I didn’t even notice my mother pop her head in the kitchen. When she gets in at three, she usually sleeps until about nine before she has to get ready to go to her other job.
“I made you a plate, Mama,” I said as I removed her plate from the microwave.
“Thanks for breakfast, Jasmine,” she said as she took the plate. “Oh, and I see you have some meat out. You fixing dinner, too?” she said, eyeing the fish sitting on the counter.
“Yes ma’am.”
My mother leaned against the door frame. She looked over her shoulder then turned back toward me.
“I appreciate all that you do around here to help out with your brothers and to help your grandmother out. I just wanted to let you know.” I was shocked because it wasn’t often that my mom paid compliments.
“It’s okay, Mom. I know you’re swamped with two jobs. I don’t mind at all.”
“Well, I’m off today, so I’m taking your brothers to the park. Wanna come?”
“No, you guys go have a good time.”
My mother ate while I finished cleaning up the kitchen. I spent the day cleaning up and cooking. By the time I finished stirring the beans to make sure they were soft enough, I was tired. I had fried catfish and prepared rice to go with the red beans. A few minutes before dinner I planned to make a green salad to top off the meal.
“Sure smells good in here,” my mother said, walking into the kitchen. She sat down at the table and rubbed her feet. “Jalen wore me out today.”
“Yeah, I learned from the best.” I smiled. The house was spotless, the foo
d was ready and I figured now was as good a time as any to ask my mom about a new dress for the dance.
“Ma, I was wondering. I wanna go to the homecoming dance next weekend. You think we could go shopping so I can get a new dress?” I wasn’t ready to tell her I’d be going to the dance with a boy.
My mother’s eyebrows inched upward. She closed her eyes and swallowed.
“I don’t mind you going to the dance or even hanging out with your friends from that church group. But you know I just do not have the money to be going out and buying new dresses or outfits.”
“But, Mama, this is important,” I pleaded.
“So is eating.”
“This isn’t fair,” I whined. “Just once I want to wear something new somewhere. I’m so sick of this.”
“I suggest you watch your tone,” my mother chastised. “Now, I agreed to let you go to that dance, but you just better go in that closet and find something to wear, or get something from Nikki. I’m sure she has something you can borrow.”
I swallowed back tears. Nikki wore the tightest, shortest clothes she could find. I definitely wasn’t trying to wear any of her hoochie outfits. Plus, I was too tall for her stuff anyway.
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to remind my mother that I had kept my grades up despite the church group—except for the F in PE and the D in Algebra. But other than that, I’d been doing good.
“I know you’re upset but it’s just me. I’m taking care of everybody by myself. Maurice hasn’t even paid his child support,” she said, referring to my brothers’ father and her ex-husband. Nikki’s father had died shortly after she was born. I came along, then my mother got married and had my brothers.
“Maybe we should try to find my dad, Ma. You can get some money from him.” The words escaped from my mouth before I even thought about it. I knew I had messed up as I watched my mother’s eyes narrow. Her nostrils began to flare and I could hear her breathing. She stood up and moved closer to me. I backed up, until the sink prevented me from going any farther.
“Wwwh-at did you just say to me?”
“Um, ah, I don’t…I didn’t mean nothing by it, Ma,” I tried to correct myself.
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