My father’s voice sounded dejected. “I’m just trying to finally do right.”
“Well, now we all are suffering from your actions. Again. Send her back. I don’t want her in my house.”
“Donna…” my father said.
“Don’t Donna me. I went along with this cockamamie idea to bring her here even though I was totally against it. Newspaper and TV reporters are calling here, for Christ’s sake. Everybody wants to know about the superintendent’s illegitimate shoplifting child.”
I felt like I was going to pass out. It had always been obvious Donna didn’t like me, but I had no idea she hated me that much.
“Look, Franklin,” Donna continued. She took a deep breath like she was trying really hard to get through to my father. “Jetola might not have taken the money to get rid of the baby, but when I took you back, you agreed to sever all ties with her. Now you come to me sixteen years later, letting guilt overcome you, talking about righting wrongs. But this is too much. She has to go.”
What? What in the world was she talking about? My father hadn’t known I existed. I couldn’t help it. I could no longer hold my silence. I pushed the door open and stood in the entryway.
“You lied to me?”
My father stared at me like he had no idea what to say.
“You knew about me?” I asked.
My father put his hand to his head and rubbed his temple. I turned toward Donna. “And you made him disown me?”
Donna just looked at me.
I was dumbfounded as I looked back and forth between her and my father. “Daddy, this isn’t making any sense.”
“Sit down, baby.” My father had tears in his eyes as I sat across from him.
“Just tell her the truth. Tell her, then send her home,” Donna hissed.
I glared at my stepmother. My grandma used to always say that you shouldn’t hate people. The emotion was too strong. But at that very moment, I hated Donna. How could someone be so mean and cruel?
“Donna, please let me handle this,” my father pleaded.
“No. I let you handle it sixteen years ago and look what happened.” Donna sat down next to my father. “Your father had an affair. You are the product of that affair. You can tell me I’m wrong, but the only way our family could heal from that was for your father to pretend it never happened.”
“But I did happen,” I protested.
Donna ignored my protest and continued talking. “Your mother wouldn’t take the money we offered her to disappear or deal with the problem, but I assured her that we would have no part in your life. She accepted that, so you can’t blame us. Blame her.”
I looked at my father. “And you went along with all this?” When he didn’t say anything, the tears I had been holding back came falling down. “You—you said you didn’t know about me.”
“Oh, he knew all right,” Donna said. I couldn’t believe she was being so hateful.
“Let me explain,” my father said.
“Explain what?” I stood up, stunned. “You lied.”
“Jasmine, sit back down so we can talk.”
Donna huffed, scooted her chair away from the table, then stormed out of the room.
“You’ll have to excuse her,” he said. I eased into a chair across from him, recalling how many times he’d said that since I came here. “I hurt her really bad and I think this is just years’ worth of anger coming out.”
I didn’t even care about Donna at that point. “You’ve known about me all these years?”
“It’s more complicated than that. I…I had just built this life and I knew…Donna…and Kevin…my career…I knew it would just be hard on everyone.” He shook his head from side to side. “Donna is just—she can be so overbearing. And I wanted to do right by her. I knew it was wrong, but it was the only way I could keep my family intact.”
I could only stare at him in disbelief. “I’m your family, too.”
“I know. I don’t expect you to understand.”
I wiped my face. Good thing he wasn’t expecting me to understand because I definitely didn’t. “Why did you let me come live with you?”
My father shook his head. “Guilt? I don’t know. I think my guilt just got the best of me.”
“Guilt? I thought you were so happy to find me. I thought you loved me.”
“I do love you…”
“Stop it. You don’t even know me.” My grandmother’s words flashed in my mind: Sometimes our blessings are disguised—what we don’t think is a blessing, is; what we think is a blessing, isn’t. It finally made sense. “I am so stupid,” I whispered.
“Jasmine, don’t do this.”
I wiped my tears. I didn’t think I’d ever felt as much pain as I felt at that very moment.
“Do you want me to leave?” I stared at him.
“I…” My father stopped talking and looked past me. I turned to see Donna back in the doorway. She was glaring at him but didn’t say anything. He turned his attention back to me.
“I think it would be best. I’m sorry, Jasmine. It’s just not working. But we can stay in touch.”
I turned to walk out. “I’ll go pack my stuff.”
“Jasmine, please don’t be mad. Try to understand.”
I spun around, still trying to fight back the tears. “Understand what? That you didn’t want to see me? That you just wanted to pretend I didn’t exist ’cause your wife said so? That you’re abandoning me again? I can’t understand that.”
I raced upstairs to call my mother. I didn’t think twice when I dialed her number. I breathed a sigh of relief when she picked up the phone.
“Mama?”
She hesitated. “Yeah?”
“Can I come home?”
“I’m on my way to get you.” I was shocked that she didn’t ask any questions or chastise me. In fact, she seemed relieved. “And Jasmine?”
“Yes, Mama?”
“I love you.”
I released the waterfall of tears that I had been fighting back. “I love you, too, Mama.”
I put the phone back on the hook and went to pack my bags.
26
I threw my book bag into my locker as I thought about my conversation with my mom yesterday. She was still upset about the shoplifting. But she was so happy to have me back home. And honestly, I was happy to be back. I never in a million years thought I’d say that. But after my experience with my dad, I’d take my mom any day.
Of course, my grandmother and my brothers were happy to see me. Even Nikki hugged me.
I hadn’t talked to Donovan. He wouldn’t answer my calls. I’d blown up his cell phone all day yesterday and he still didn’t call me back. I guess he was still mad. I couldn’t wait to find him and beg him to forgive me.
I slammed my locker door shut and made my way down Hall B, toward Donovan’s locker.
I had just rounded the corner when I saw something that stopped me in my tracks.
“Please tell me I’m not seeing what I think I’m seeing,” I mumbled to myself.
Tori was draped all over my man once again. This time, though, he was grinning back. They were standing next to each other at his locker. I didn’t know whether to be mad or cry.
I walked over to Donovan without looking at Tori. “What’s going on, Donovan?”
He immediately dropped his arm, which had been leaned against the locker. “H-Hey Jasmine.”
Tori looked at me like she was the girlfriend and I was the one trying to push up on her man. “Excuse me, we were having a private conversation,” she said.
It was my turn to look at her crazy. “You got me messed up.”
Tori rolled her eyes and adjusted her purse on her shoulder. “I have to get to class, Donovan.” She rubbed his arm gently and flashed him a smile. “I had a really good time at the banquet. Thank you so much for taking me.” She cut her eyes at me, then walked off. If I wasn’t so stunned I would’ve snatched her back by her hair.
Donovan lowered his eyes.
He looked around like he was worried about someone overhearing us. “Jasmine, what did you expect me to do? I was supposed to sit at the head table and you bailed on me with some lie about your dad not letting you go. You couldn’t even get your lie out good. I mean, I couldn’t go without a date. I would’ve been the only one there who didn’t have one.”
I looked at him, my eyes full of fury. “But Tori, of all people?”
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to go alone,” he said. “When I told Levi you had left me stuck out, he called Tori since he knew she was going. She offered to be my date.”
“I’ll just bet she did,” I snapped.
Donovan sighed. “Look, Jasmine, there’s nothing goin’ on with me and Tori.”
“That didn’t look like nothing I just walked up on,” I yelled.
“Would you lower your voice? I don’t want people all up in my business.”
“I don’t care about people. I care about the fact that you cheated on me!”
“Didn’t nobody cheat on you,” Donovan said with a sigh.
I flicked my hand at him. “Whatever, Donovan. I thought you were better than that. You’re just a no-good dog.”
Donovan cocked his head. “Oh, so I’m a no-good dog? You stood me up. On one of the most important days of my life, you were a no-show. Yeah, I took Tori to the banquet, then I took her home. She didn’t want to go home. She wanted to go to a motel. But I took her home. Now, with the way you’re acting, maybe I should’ve taken her up on her offer. ’Cuz it ain’t like I’m getting none from you no way.”
I couldn’t believe he’d gone there.
“That was foul, Donovan.” I took a deep breath. “But you know, if you want to make it like that, then fine. Go get it from Tori. Just get in line because everybody at school done had her.” I turned and stormed off.
Camille caught up with me just as I pushed through the doors out onto the courtyard.
“Jasmine, what’s going on? I saw you going off on Donovan. Tori made it a point to tell me she was with him now and you were over there acting a fool.”
I stopped and spun around. “Forget Donovan. Forget Tori.” I raised my arms in disgust and noticed my bangle bracelets. I snatched them off my arm and threw them on the ground. “Forget this stupid jewelry.” I pulled my hair back and twisted a piece around to form a ponytail. “Forget this whole stupid transformation thing. Because in the end, it didn’t mean nothing!” I stormed off to my class, ignoring the sounds of Camille calling my name.
27
W hat was I thinking, coming to the meeting today? This was our first meeting since the arrest. And after the last couple of days I’d had, I was in no mood to hear a lecture from Rachel.
Me and Donovan were officially over. Tori made sure of that. And it was like she was glued to him because he couldn’t take two steps without her all up in his grill. I couldn’t stand neither one of them.
Rachel walked into the room. “Well, hello,” she said to me and Alexis in particular. “I think we have a lot to talk about.”
I groaned and Alexis lowered her head in shame.
“Which one of you wants to tell me what happened? From start to finish,” she said. Angel and Camille, who were sitting in front of us, didn’t say a word. Of course, Alexis had filled them in on what happened. And I’d answered a hundred and one questions myself.
“So, I guess you all are taking the ‘don’t snitch’ policy? Well, that’s what got you into trouble in the first place.” Rachel sighed and sat down on a chair in the first row. “Do you know that Trina is going to jail?”
“We know. She was arrested with us,” Alexis said.
Rachel shook her head. “No, to jail for real. For a while. She’s being tried as an adult. They found a bunch of other stolen items in her home. This isn’t her first offense so the district attorney plans to throw the book at her. Do you know what that means?”
We shook our heads.
“It means she can go to prison. With hard-core prisoners.”
We all wore stunned looks. I had halfway come to care about Trina and I didn’t want to see her go to jail.
“Trina will never make it in prison,” Alexis all but whispered.
“Well, it looks like she will have to find a way,” Rachel said. She shifted in her seat and directed her attention at me and Alexis. “You know what you did could have really landed you behind bars?”
We both nodded.
She turned to Camille and Angel. “Did you two know about this?” They both stared blankly at Rachel without saying anything.
“You knew? Please don’t tell me you were part of this little scheme?” Rachel stood up when they still didn’t respond. “Are we not learning anything in the Good Girlz? I mean, are we meeting for our health?” She took a deep breath, obviously trying to calm down. “I can’t believe you girls,” she added.
“Miss Rachel, it’s not like we actually stole anything,” Angel said.
“Yeah,” Camille added. “I never took a thing.”
“And? You think that makes you any less guilty? You knew the stuff was stolen and you didn’t tell a soul. You’re deceiving yourself if you think you’re not just as guilty. What did you need all this stuff for anyway?” she asked, turning back to me and Alexis.
I contemplated lying. But I was sick of lying and stealing. “Alexis and Trina sold it.”
“Oh my,” Rachel said. “You had a business?” Alexis nodded. Rachel rubbed her forehead. “Okay, legalities aside, did you ever give any thought to how God would feel about what you were doing? I mean, right there in the Ten Commandments, big as day, it says, thou shalt not steal.”
All of us looked at each other.
“We didn’t think it was that big of a deal because like Alexis said, all those stores have insurance,” Angel said softly.
Rachel shook her head.
“We didn’t really think about it at all,” Alexis added.
“I’m going to say something you all already know. You just chose to tailor it to your own definition,” Rachel said. “Stealing is wrong, no matter how you slice it. Whether you take something yourself, receive the stolen items, or simply know about it and don’t say anything about it—it’s wrong. In the eyes of the law, it’s wrong. And in God’s eyes, it’s wrong. Do you all understand me?”
Everyone in the room nodded.
“Consider yourselves lucky. No, let me correct that,” Rachel passed and gave us a hard glare. “Consider yourselves blessed that the store manager didn’t press charges. You could have had your lives ruined over some clothes. It wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t even worth taking that chance.”
There was nothing any of us could say. We knew Rachel was right.
Rachel sighed heavily. “But don’t think just because you got off with the police, you got off with me. Part of my agreement in convincing the store manager not to press charges was that I would beef up your community service. So, instead of one project every other month, we will now do two every month. And they are mandatory. We’re starting this Saturday by going to the senior citizens’ home and doing some spring cleaning. We will meet here at seven A.M.”
I knew everyone had to fight back groans. Not only were we having to be somewhere on the weekend at seven in the morning, but we had to spend the day cleaning up after old people.
“But, Mrs. Rachel,” Camille protested, “the battle of the bands is this Saturday.”
“Oh, snap, I forgot about that,” Angel said. “Maybe we’ll be done in enough time to go.”
“What time is the battle of the bands?” Rachel asked.
“Eleven,” Camille replied.
“Then it looks like you all won’t be there,” Rachel said nonchalantly.
“Awww, man,” Angel whined. “Every
body is gonna be there.”
“You all won’t,” Rachel said as she gathered up her stuff. “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before taking something that doesn’t belong to you.” She headed toward the door. “I have to get to revival.” She stopped, turned, and faced us just before stepping out. “Remember, it’s mandatory. No excuses.”
“Man, this is messed up,” Camille said as Rachel walked out the room.
I closed my eyes. Rachel was right. We needed to be counting our blessings that we were just cleaning a senior citizens’ home, and not cell block D. After the nightmare that had been my life for the past two weeks, I was just grateful for a second chance.
28
I t was finally here. My sixteenth birthday and I couldn’t be more miserable. I mean, stuff was a lot better at home, or maybe it was just my attitude that was better. I was back to fighting with my brothers, and cleaning up and cooking all the time. But I wasn’t even complaining. I was just happy to be home. I had to pinch myself because I couldn’t believe I just said that.
My mom eased open my bedroom door. “Hey, what are you doing?”
I smiled. “Nothing. Just laying here thinking.”
“I hope it’s about how wrong what you did was.”
I nodded. “I know, Mama. And I’m really sorry.”
She looked at me. “I know you are, baby.”
I gave my mother a look like an alien had invaded her body.
“I’m sorry, too,” she said, looking down.
“For what?”
“I should’ve told you about your father. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing.” My mother sat down next to me on my bed, and for the first time I saw the weariness in her face.
“I know you’re wondering why I didn’t tell you.” She sighed. “When I met your father I had no idea he was married. It wasn’t until after I’d been seeing him for almost six months that I learned the truth. He was separated from his wife. Nikki’s father had been dead about eight months and I was really lonely. Franklin was everything I wanted, or everything I thought I wanted in a man.” She got a faraway look in her eyes, took a deep breath, and continued.
Blessings in Disguise Page 12