by June Kramin
He scooted down so he was eye level with her. “You ever going to let me back in again or do I have to do this whole routine with you every time I want a piece of that great ass?”
Instead of kissing his chest this time, she gently bit him.
“Ow!” Bix laughed, then rubbed it.
“I still don’t know that I’m ready for a relationship, Bix. I don’t know what the hell got the better of me…again.”
“I won’t demand your undying devotion, Ellie, but I have to admit, I really like you. I like being around you and I’ll take you every chance I get. Sex or not, I want to see you a whole lot more. I never thought getting laid off from my job would be the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Half asleep, she let out a moan. “You’ve only known me a few days. I’d let the jury chew on that for a while yet. Good night, Slick.” She snuggled her head deeper into the pillow.
“Good night, doll face.” He kissed her forehead before he left.
Doll face. Shit. Sleeping with him or not, she had to break that nickname. She sat up and took the engagement picture of her and Tony out of her nightstand drawer. Overwhelmed with guilt from the night before, she couldn’t look at it and had put it there that morning. Hugging it to her chest now, every emotion possible flooded her. She missed him, yet there were no tears she could summon for the first time in a long time. The guilt came and went, depending how she justified it. He would want you to move on, Ellie. Kissing the picture, then tucking it away again, she said, “I’ll always love you, Tony,” and meant it, but she knew it was time to let go.
Bix showed up at the coffee shop at nine o’clock, hoping the morning rush was over. He leaned across the register wanting to give her a hello kiss, but she shook her head no. “I get it. No public show of affection yet.” He took a step back.
“It’s not professional,” she whispered. There was a customer behind him and it made her uncomfortable. Bix stepped aside. “I haven’t decided yet. Go ahead.”
“Thanks.”
“Hi, Harry. Another ‘Why Bother’ kinda day or are you here looking for caffeine this time?”
“Better stick to decaf. Caffeine is still on the ‘no-no’ list, Ellie.”
“Coming right up. Jean, one ‘Why Bother’ for Harry.”
“Got it, boss lady.”
After the customer got his drink and walked away, Bix asked, “What’s a ‘Why Bother’?”
“Decaf, no fat, no foam, no flavor.”
“Then it’s appropriately named. I’ll go for a caramel one today.”
“Still want the whip?”
“Sure.” He pulled out his wallet and Ellie stopped him. “You have a credit here, remember? You’ll have to give me a dollar figure so I can make you out a card.”
“That was nothing yesterday. We’re even, but I will get you the receipt for the router and flash drive.” He dropped a five in the tip jar.
Ellie looked at it then back up at him. “Why do I feel like you just left that on the nightstand?”
“Stop it. I figured you split it with the one making the drinks. They’re awesome and she deserves it. When can you take a break?”
She turned around and looked at the clock. “In another hour I have help coming in.”
He turned around and was happy to see no one behind him. “I have to wait an hour for a kiss?”
She crossed her arms and called over her shoulder. “Jean? Can you man the register for a second?”
“Sure, Ellie.”
She jerked her head toward the door and whispered to Bix, “Back door.” When she opened it, he was already there. He took ahold of the back of her neck with his free hand and kissed her. They shared a long kiss before Ellie finally broke them apart.
“I thought you meant a quick hello kiss.”
“This sounded better.” He gently tugged on the collar of her jacket, bringing her closer.
She looked up at him. “What am I doing with you?”
He leaned down and gave her a soft kiss. “Having some damn fine — ”
“Who’s your friend, Ellie?”
She jumped back at the sound of her boss’s voice. “Uh, Fred…this is, um…”
Bix saved her from more stuttering and extended his hand. “Bix Newman.”
“The computer guy?”
“That’s me.”
Fred looked at Ellie. “You didn’t tell me he was your boyfriend. In fact, you didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend. Very pleased to meet you, Bix. Bix? Did I say that right?”
Bix laughed. “Yup. Just Bix.”
Ellie was at a loss of where to begin to correct Fred. “I didn’t know it was him when you said you had a computer guy coming. I thought you were talking about a fancy register, not Internet for the place.”
“I didn’t know either, I just passed the buck. I have to say,” Fred said, addressing his attention to Bix, “I am impressed. My old fart of a mind just didn’t go there. I appreciate what you’ve done.”
“Have to keep my girl in a job.” He pulled Ellie towards him with his free arm.
“Come on in, I’ll buy you a coffee.”
“Already got one, thanks. But I’ll come in and talk with you. I’d like to discuss your website.”
“Just give me ten minutes to get settled.”
After the door closed Ellie slapped Bix on the chest.
“What’s that for?”
“Your girl?”
“He thought we were a couple. Should I have said, ‘She hasn’t agreed to be my girlfriend yet, we’re just banging, but thanks for asking’?”
“I should have stuck to my guns on the ‘no kiss’ thing. Now I have to deal with a hundred questions from him and Ginny about you.”
“So.”
“So? I told you I wasn’t ready for this, Bix. I don’t want the third fucking degree about being in a relationship!”
He took her chin in his hand. “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t have to be so hard.”
“I have to go back in.” She jerked the door open and went back in, leaving Bix standing there.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ellie busied herself dusting shelves that didn’t need dusting and doing other mundane chores as Bix and Fred talked. After half an hour, Fred called her over.
“What’s up?”
“Talk some sense into your boyfriend.”
“I find it best to slap the sense into him.” She sent a glare Bix’s way that must have appeared playful from Fred’s standpoint since he grinned when he saw it. “What’s he doing now?”
“He won’t let me pay him for his work yesterday.”
“I’ll make him take a ten punch prepaid coffee card. He drinks double mochas usually. That’ll come close enough to the time he put in. It didn’t even take an hour.”
“What about the computer?” Fred asked him.
“I told you it was built from what I had around. I could get you six more and not even notice. Just let it go,” Bix insisted.
“All right. You win. But if I let you take over the website, I expect a bill.”
“I’ll send you what I get when it comes time to renew your domain, but other than that, it’s not going to take a lot to update it to reflect you offer wireless now. You already overpaid to have it set up. Time is something I have right now and it’s not going to take hardly any to do it.”
“Okay,” Fred said, standing up. “I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth.” He turned to Ellie. “Glad to see you’re back in the game, Ellie.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I like this one.”
Bix stepped in front of Ellie. “I’m really sorry I got you busted by needing a kiss.”
“I’m over it.” She sighed and leaned into him. “I don’t adapt to change well. I’ve had a routine for so long I just don’t know how I feel yet about letting someone in it yet.”
“I promise I’ll try to back off. The key word being ‘try,’ okay? Not that I have to tell you, but feel free to slap me again if I get a little cr
azy.”
“You take all the fun out of it if you give me permission.”
He gave her a kiss. “I am crazy about you.”
“You’re crazy anyway.”
He smiled at her and took her cheek in his hand. “Dinner tonight?”
“Can we have it with Gramps? I’ll come over there.”
“He’d like that. We’ll whip up something. Six okay?”
“See you then, Slick.” The cat was already out of the bag so she gave him a quick goodbye kiss right there.
“He’s your boyfriend?” Jean asked when Ellie joined her behind the counter.
She shrugged. “I guess so. I don’t know. I really hadn’t decided to take it to that level so soon.”
“So soon? Like you haven’t been dating for long or so soon after losing your fiancé?”
“Both I guess. It just doesn’t feel right.”
“Why not? Ellie, it’s been over a year. He’s cute as hell and seems real nice. What’s not to like about him?”
“It’s not him, it’s me.”
“That old line? You gotta do better than that, boss. You can’t stay a nun forever, you know. Don’t get pissed at me, but it is time you move on and let yourself be happy again.”
“Still taking the psychology class, huh?”
“Nope. It’s called friendly concern.” She stepped closer to lower her voice. “You sleeping with him?”
“That’s none of your business, Jean.” Her tone wasn’t of anger and she cursed her ability to blush so easily.
“You are!” Jean squealed and took Ellie by the hands. She lowered her voice to a whisper again. “Good for you. Gee,” she said, looking at the clock. “Just mention sex and I need a smoke break. Cover for me?”
“You really ought to quit that shit.”
“No one likes a quitter,” she sang as she walked away.
Ellie got to Bix’s house ten minutes after six. She had been ready, but didn’t want to appear too over-eager. He greeted her at the door with a kiss. “Hey, babe.”
“Babe? Are we there already?”
“You don’t like doll face.”
“What’s wrong with Ellie?”
“You get to call me Slick and I don’t bitch.”
“But that name fits you, city slicker.”
“So does yours. You’re a babe.” He kissed her again.
She pushed him back. “Don’t, Bix. Did you tell Gramps?”
“Nope. I didn’t know if you wanted to tell him or not.”
“How would he take it?”
“He really likes you, Ellie. He’ll be tickled.”
“Tickled?”
“Thrilled. For as little as he usually gets emotional over things, he’ll probably kiss you then tell you you’re too good for me.”
“There she is,” Gramps said as he took the corner. “We missed having you around here, Noelle.”
“It is nice to be back under better circumstances this time.” She couldn’t help herself and went over and kissed Gramps on the cheek. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Nonsense. You’re fine. Can I get you a drink?”
“I work early tomorrow, so just some iced tea or whatever you have. In fact, I’ll grab it. I’m no longer a guest here.”
The two of them walked away arm in arm.
After dinner, great conversation, and a round of Quiddler, Gramps excused himself for bed and Ellie and Bix went downstairs. Ellie hadn’t brought up that they were now dating, although she was sure he suspected it. Maybe she’d bring it up next time.
“Do we put in Jumper for old time’s sake or can we go straight to bed?” Bix asked.
“No point in pretending I don’t want it, too.” Ellie removed her turtleneck sweater and tossed it on the couch.
Bix had the “kid in the candy store” look in his eyes as he looked at her black lace bra and cupped her breasts. “A guy can get used to this.” He leaned down and gave her a long kiss then slowly backed her up.
After their kiss, they had franticly pawed at each other’s clothes, not being able to remove them fast enough. Bix had picked her up and took the five paces before dropping her on her back on the couch. He was on top of her and about to enter her when she put the brakes on.
“Forgetting something?”
“Shit!” He hurried over to his room and came back out with the condom.
“I’ve never seen you move so fast.” She laughed.
“You need to go on the pill.” He reclaimed his position on her and playfully growled in her ear.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Breathing heavy, Bix lay flat on Ellie. “Am I crushing you?”
“No.” She gently stroked his back. “Stay.” After a long pause she said, “The pill, huh?”
He brought his head up. “Too much commitment?”
“No. I guess even if I insisted on condoms, I should go on the pill. I just haven’t had to think about it for a long time.”
“I’ve got blood test results and a clean bill of health if you want to see it. I’m never without condoms, Ellie, and I have never been that promiscuous. Kind of got my heart broke a while back and I wasn’t into hookers or bar grudge sex. I promise you I’m clean. I trust you are too, especially seeing as how it’s been last November since you had sex.”
“Poor, baby. Had your heart broken.” She continued to rub his back, waiting for him to be ready to talk. “You never said — ” She stopped talking. “What makes you think it’s been since November since I had sex?”
“Shit.” Bix sat up. “Just a guess? Look, Ellie, I knew it had been a while. I could tell, remember?”
She stood up and began gathering her clothes. “Thinking it’s been a while and naming a month are not the same thing, Bix! What do you know?”
He hurried over and took her by the arms. “Babe, please. Just settle down, okay?”
“Don’t you ‘babe’ me!” She ran into the bathroom with her clothes and slammed the door. When she came out dressed, Bix was pulling on his shirt.
“You’re not leaving like this.”
“I can’t do this right now, Bix. Please don’t stop at my work tomorrow. I’m begging you. Just let me go.” She got past him and ran up the stairs. Walking past one of the spare rooms, a newspaper sticking out caught her eye. She pushed open the door and saw the papers scattered about. The one on the desk drew her attention and she picked it up.
Bix caught up to her just then and saw what was in her hand. “Aw, hell.”
She threw it back down. “You snooped on me?”
“I didn’t snoop. Gramps thought your name sounded familiar and he started digging through his papers. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I knew. I was going to get to that when I thought you were okay with me first. You’ve made this so hard, Ellie. Please don’t be pissed just because I found out.”
She stomped over and pushed him backwards into the wall. “When, Bix? When the fuck did you find out?”
He hung his head low. “The second day you were here.”
“Right when you started being nice to me.” She slapped him. This time she meant it. “You bastard.”
She stormed away and he just let her go.
Ellie cried hard the whole way home. For all the jerking she did with the steering wheel, she was glad the roads weren’t icy. Feeling completely used, she took an extra-long, hot shower, but it did nothing for her sense of “dirty.” For the first time in a long time, she cried herself to sleep holding Tony’s picture to her chest.
“You look like shit,” Jean said when she showed up for her shift. “Bang your brains out all night?”
“You’re ten minutes late again. Next time I’m writing you up.” Ellie huffed as she stomped into the back room.
The best thing that Ellie could say about her day was that Bix didn’t show up. She got through her shift trying not to let her true feelings show, but she knew she was short and borderline rude to most of the customers. She had to go before she lost a customer for good. Their s
oda rep showed up with a banner for them to hang outside advertising free wireless.
“I didn’t order this,” Ellie snapped.
“Your boss did. They’re free, lady. Don’t need to have a cow about it,” the young kid said as he cracked his gum and walked away. She knew it was time to go home.
Ellie waited until eight that night to call Fred and tell him she wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be in the next day. He was happy to cover for her and she almost felt guilty for lying to him. She soaked in a bubble bath and drank a glass of wine. It probably wasn’t the best idea since she hadn’t been able to eat all day, but she really felt like a drink. Not having to get up at five on a weekday was a dream; she might as well enjoy it.
Her eyes opened and she jumped at the sight of a vase of red roses in the bathroom doorway. “Who’s there?” she shouted as she stood and reached for a towel. She wrapped herself up and stepped out. When Bix stepped around the corner, she almost fell back into the tub. He rushed forward and took hold of her, trying to help get her stable. Angry, she shook his hands free.
“Let me go, Bix, and get the hell out of my house!”
“No, Ellie. We need to talk.”
“Really? I didn’t think you knew how to talk. Seems all you can do is stalk me online and screw my brains out after you fill me with lies!”
He took her arms again. “I didn’t lie about anything, Ellie. I’ve been in love with you from the second you took your helmet off! You make this so goddamn hard! The way I treated you had nothing to do with reading that article.”
“No? You were being an ass till you found that out. Where did your mind go, Bix? It’s been a while for her. She ought to be an easy lay!”
“Wrong, sweetheart! Just the opposite. Yes, I felt like shit for being a dick, but I didn’t need those articles to make me feel bad about it. I didn’t come over that night to try to get you into bed with me.”
“You just always have a condom on you?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact. Don’t you?”
“No!”
“But I bet you used to.”
She looked away. “No. I’ve only been with Tony. I didn’t travel with condoms, Bix.”