The volt that ran through my body was like no other. There were no words spoken, but we’d both felt it. It was always there between us. Electrifying.
“Did they screw it up?” he questioned when I slowly placed the paper cup in front of me.
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s exactly how I like it.” The urge to meet his eyes again ran through me. Finding the courage, I looked up at his yellowish hue that had always been my undoing. “How did you know?” I prayed my voice didn’t sound shaky.
He pushed his chair back and turned his body towards me. “I believe you only know a person when you know how they take their coffee.” His eyebrow cocked up at me and a boyish grin I had not seen in months popped up on his face.
“Is that so.” My breathing grew irregular.
“Yes.” He leaned forward. He was a few inches away from me. “It’s safe to say I know your taste.”
I took another sip of my coffee and ignored his last comment. Suffocated by his cologne and his way with words, I focused my gaze on the glass table. He knew how I liked my coffee. He knew how to push my buttons. And he sure as hell knew how to make me scream.
“You know we can do this again.” He paused waiting for my reaction. “Us.”
“Peyton . . .” His name rolled off my tongue. I missed how easily it escaped my lips when we were tangled in bed together.
“We can do this the right way. Where I pick you up and take you out on a date. Where I try to steal a kiss at the end of the night. We can start all over.”
Tears threatened to escape my eyes. “There is too much water under the bridge.”
“You don’t believe that.” His mouth curled up on the side to a small smile.
“How do you know?” I whispered.
“Because,” he wheeled his chair closer to mine, “of the look I see in your eyes. I know you hate me for what I’ve done. I know how badly I’ve hurt you. And trust me when I say that was never my intention. But the look in your eyes gives it all away. You miss us. And I miss you.”
I swallow the brick in my throat. “We—”
“Don’t. Don’t say can’t. Don’t say there is water under the bridge. We can. And if we need to, we can get a boat, a life vest. Our love can keep us afloat.”
I wanted to start over. Run the eraser over what had happened and be us all over again. My mind toyed with the idea of leaping into his arms when Kelly opened the door. I cleared my throat and pushed my chair further away from him. At that moment, I’d loved him all over again, but we were no longer alone.
I was no longer captivated by his charms.
Braelynn
“Baby girl?” Gus shouted. “You have a second?”
“Yeah.” I was kneeling on the ground looking under my bed for my headphones, so I sat back on my heels. Gus held my headphones between his fingers. Retrieving it from his hand, I smiled. “What’s up?”
“I uh . . .”
I crawled off the floor and sat on the bed. “What is it?”
He had a blank expression on his face.
“Out with it already,” I barked.
“Fine.” He tossed his hands up in the air. “I’m just going to come out and say it. I’m moving out.” He dropped on the bed next to me.
“Oh.” That’s not what I was expecting. “Am I a shitty roommate?”
“No! Not at all.” He shrugged his shoulder and a wide smile appeared on his face. “Jon and I are moving in together.”
“Oh, Gus, that’s fantastic!” I wrapped my arms around him. He held me tightly and a pang of jealousy appeared. There I was with another roommate that was moving on with their life.
“Do you need help finding another roommate?” he asked, releasing me from his embrace.
“Actually, I think it’s time for a change. I think I need to get out of the city. Maybe move back north . . . or south or west. Just away from this island.” I got off the bed and walked towards the hallway. I needed to get out of the house before I made a detour to the freezer.
“Seriously?” Gus was behind me. “You’ve worked so hard to get licensed in New York.”
I took a bottle of water from the fridge and looked at Gus. “I’m over it. I need something new in my life, a fresh start. Maybe away from Manhattan.” I walked past him.
“But New York is your home.”
“Maybe it’s time to find a new home.”
“Oh, before I forget, are you busy on Sunday?”
I thought about it for a second. “No, not that I know of. Why?”
“I asked Jon to marry me during dinner last night. And I want you to be my best man.”
“Shut. The Fuck. Up.” I jumped up and down. This was huge for Gus. A year ago when he’d started dating Jon, he was still insecure about letting the world know about his sexual preference. Now he was getting married. “Oh my God! Gus that is . . . Oh, my fucking . . . I’m so excited and confused.” I laughed. “I thought you said moving in.”
“Well, yeah. I wanted to see what your reaction was going to be about me moving out before I dropped the bomb.”
“Gus, I’m speechless. I’m so happy.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “And Sunday. You guys are getting married this Sunday?”
Gus bit his bottom lip like a giddy schoolgirl. “Yes! At the Botanical Garden.” He couldn’t contain his excitement.
My hands reached up to my chest as if they were hugging my heart. “Oh, Gus, that’s so romantic!”
“It’s a small ceremony. Just friends.”
I leaned up on my toes and kissed his scruffy cheek. “I’d be honored to stand next to you, babe.” I wrapped my arms around his body again.
My Gussy, the man who refused to tell the world he was gay, was going to stand next to the love of his life and exchange marriage vows. My eyes glassed over with tears of joy for him.
Sunday afternoon the sun was bright in the clear blue sky. I dressed in a light pink dress with matching wedges. My hair was picked up with loose curls. Adding my last coat of mascara, I shoved it in my clutch and went to go find the groom.
Gus stood in the living room his hands fumbling with his bowtie. He was clean-shaven and dressed in light gray slacks with a cream button-down shirt. His hands dropped to his sides with defeat. Kennedy and Caleb would soon be here to take us to the garden and the last thing I needed was Gus stressed. My fingers laced with the silk material of his bowtie.
“Nervous?”
“A little. How do I know if I’m doing the right thing?” His chocolate eyes looked down at me.
I tugged gently on his bow tie to make sure it was even and then rested my hands on his chest. “You know you’re right for a person when you want to be the best version of yourself for them.” It was the truest statement I had ever spoken.
Kennedy and Caleb arrived at two sharp. Popping a bottle of Perrier Jouet champagne for them and sparkling cider for me, we drove from our brownstone to the Botanical Garden. Jennifer and Loren had driven down for Gus’s special day and, to my surprise, Matt was pushing her wheelchair.
We all gathered together near the butterfly garden as the string quartet began to play. There were no chairs, and neither one of the grooms walked down the aisle. They simply held hands as we hovered around them. I stood tall next to Gus and thanked God for waterproof mascara as the officiant pronounced them spouses for life.
Once we were finished with the celebration and lunch, the newlyweds were off to Bermuda. Kennedy had offered to take me home as had Jennifer, but I’d declined both and decided to take the subway instead. When I was back in Manhattan, I hopped off the subway and decided to walk the rest of the way home to clear my mind.
Kennedy was married and would soon be having kids. Gus was now married and there I was wandering the streets of New York lost and alone. Again.
I stopped at a newsstand to pick up a chocolate bar. I could always count on chocolate for a pick me up. As I reached for the bar, there was his face plastered on the cover of a gossip magazine. The chocola
te bar slipped from my hand and dropped on top of the other candy when I saw the picture of the two. There was a lighting bolt between Peyton and Devon, and the caption below it read: Too Kinky for Love to Last?
Picking up the magazine and my bar, I tossed a five-dollar bill at the attendant. I practically sprinted across the street. I needed to read this magazine article right away. I licked my fingers before pushing at the corners of the pages. Halfway through the magazine, I arrived at the article.
Multiple pictures of them were plastered on one side of the page. In every picture, his demeanor was the same. Serious, never looking at the camera, and no light in his eyes. His hands were either at his side or guiding Devon. It was the business side of him. My eyes skimmed the article.
Nothing like too much kink in the bedroom to call off the wedding of the year. According to sources close to the happy couple, the highly anticipated Plaza summer wedding has been canceled due to the groom’s need to be rough in the bedroom. Sources confirm that the bride to be, Devon King, has called off her dream wedding because of Peyton McAllister’s desire to tie her up and whip her during sex.
My fingers gripped the edge of the page. Thinking about them together sexually made my eyes burn with rage.
“She stated that it had gotten too much and that McAllister refused to get help for his sex addiction,” says our source. “Peyton would come home late horny and would take her into his sex room where he would expect her to submit to him.”
The couple, which had dated previously while in college, had been engaged for the past six months. Though Devon lives in Washington DC, the couple had made the long distance relationship work. “She is heartbroken, but refused to submit to his misogynistic ways,” our source confirms.
Both McAlister and King have stated no comment regarding the allegation.
Had it been too much for her? It was the first question that popped into my head. I remembered him telling me that it was only me he wanted that way.
Flustered, I folded the magazine under my arm. If I wanted answers, I needed them from his mouth and not a gossip magazine. I refused to think about what I was doing and let my feet guide me. Twenty minutes later, I pushed through the revolving door. It felt like I was home. His scent, though faint, lingered in the air. My heart accelerated with each step.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Wolf,” the doorman greeted me when I walked in. “Let me get the elevator for you.”
I stepped inside the elevator and looked at the magazine again as I rose to his floor. Each picture of them together boiled my blood another degree. The elevator door slid open when it arrived in his home. I coiled the magazine in my hand and marched out into his foyer.
“Lynn.” His voice seemed to wrap around my body and hug me tightly. “Are you all right?”
He was dressed in light blue jeans and a white graphic T-shirt. His feet were bare and his hazelnut hair was still damp from his shower. A part of me wanted to sprint into his arms. I wanted to wrap my legs around his waist and beg him to make love to me until I could no longer walk.
Focus!
Uncoiling the magazine, I held it out for him. “Is this true?”
His eyes darted to the magazine then back up at my face. “Can I get you something to drink?” His legs swayed away from the foyer and towards the kitchen. I had no choice but to follow.
“No.” I marched behind him, my shoes echoing in the room. “Just answer the question and I’ll leave.”
“I don’t want you to leave.” His back leaned against the island. “Let me get you something to drink. Eat maybe?”
“Stop!” I knew where this would lead if I let him keep talking. “I’m not here to stay. I want to know if there is any truth to this.”
“What do you want to know?” His eyes scanned my body beginning at my feet, and then crawling up my legs and torso before reaching my face.
I felt the heat on my face beginning to burn. “Did you take her into the playroom?” A tiny smirk ran across his face. “Were you with her like you were with me?”
“I miss you.” His voice was velvety, soft, and tender.
“Don’t start.” I held my finger up. “Answer the question. Did she call off the wedding because you were too kinky with her?” I don’t know why I wanted to know. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, but my heart ached to know the truth.
“No.” He shook his head. “I called off the wedding.”
A wave of relief washed over me.
“We were never intimate,” he continued. Pushing off the counter, he walked closer to me. “You’re the only one I want to be with.” His hand reached out for mine.
“You never . . .” My hand locked with his.
His other hand reached up and pushed away a loose tendril behind my ear. “You look so beautiful,” he whispered under his breath.
I dropped my eyes to the ground. “Every time we were together in my bedroom, you were tender. I figured you . . .”
His fingers slid under my chin lifting it up so he could look into my eyes. “I never touched her, Braelynn.”
My lips quivered. “But how come you weren’t rough with me?”
His hazel eyes moved around my face. “Having my way with your body while everything else was going on felt wrong. I never wanted you to feel like I used you for sex. I tried to keep my distance, but you are mine and I refuse to share you with another man.” He chuckled to himself. “I showed up in the middle of the night not because I wanted to tie you up so I could fuck you, but because I couldn’t bear another second away from you.”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. Bliss. The hatred I had for him vanished. I whimpered when his lips pulled away from mine.
I took a step back and shook my head. “I need more time. I need more space.“
Haas didn’t stop me as I turned on my heels and left. It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, leaving him there. If I could swallow the fact that he lied to me, we could be back in each other’s arms. But I had told him he needed to earn me back, and he still hadn’t.
Braelynn
I picked a piece of lint off my black pencil skirt as I waited in Jennifer’s living room until it was time to leave for my court hearing. My nerves were under control. I knew that regardless of what happened today, I wouldn’t change what I had done to Henry. It was self-defense. If the judge saw it any other way then so be it, but I knew I was innocent.
I twirled the lint around my forefinger and thumb. Loren wheeled herself into the massive living room and stopped a few feet away from me. I remember growing up in this house. Running around after school and getting lost in how big it was. The living room was my favorite room. It had the most comfortable couch, the walls were bright yellow and all the woodwork was dark. It was a warm and inviting room.
“A penny for your thoughts?”
I looked over at her and shook my head. I wasn’t afraid of the possibility of going to jail. I was afraid that I would never see Peyton again.
Over the past few weeks I had spent time looking for a new place to live in the event my charges were dropped, and I made sure to spend quality time with Kennedy, Gus, Loren and Jennifer. It was my way of saying goodbye without tears. “Is this about Peyton?” Loren reached over and placed her hand on my knee.
I took a deep breath. “He lit up my darkness,” I admitted. “My heart feels like a broken bone. It’s healed, but it still hurts when it rains.”
“Oh, baby girl. Do you think you can ever forgive him?”
“I think that even if we tried again there’s too much water under the bridge and we’d drown before we even had the chance to build something.”
“Ready?” Jennifer popped her head into the living room.
“Yep.” I wiped the corners of my eyes.
I sat next to Jack facing the judge. Jennifer and Loren sat behind me. Once I was seated, I didn’t look back, but I knew he was there. I felt it when he’d walked in. I smelled his cologne, and I’d heard him whisper to Lo
ren, but I refused to turn around and look at him. I needed to stay strong and focused. I knew if I looked at him I would begin to cry. He had been my rock, he saved me multiple times, and I wanted to be held in his arms as he protected me once again.
We all rose when the Judge entered the courtroom from her chambers. I had a bench trial with no jury. Both sides would present their arguments and then the judge would decide if I was guilty or not.
When Jack finished his closing argument, my body shook as I closed my eyes and waited for the verdict.
“ . . . not guilty.”
It was all I heard. Not guilty.
I stood and hugged Jack. Releasing him, I looked back at Loren, who was crying hysterically. Jennifer helped her to stand on one leg so she could hug me. Enveloped in her arms, I looked over at Peyton. A small grin appeared on his face before he nodded at me and left the courtroom.
I wanted to run after him.
I wanted to thank him for coming.
But I didn’t.
One Month Later
My coffee machine beeped letting me know that my cup was ready. Sipping on the hot bitter joe, I let my mind wander to the direction where my life was heading. After the trial, I began to fall back into the normal routine that I was accustomed too. Gus had moved out with his husband, and I’d decided to move out of Manhattan. Though I wasn’t sure where I would move to, I was open to buying a place anywhere other than the city. I stood in the kitchen staring at the plain cabinets when there was a soft knock on the door
It was a Saturday morning and I had a lunch date planned with Kennedy. Either it was someone else or she was super early.
I pulled back the door carefully and smiled. “You’re early.” I stepped to the side for her to enter. “Why didn’t you use your key?”
“You keep changing the locks remember?”
“Good point.”
Kennedy had a plastic pharmacy bag coiled in her hands. She looked frantic, with her wide eyes. Almost as though she was nervous.
“Whatcha got there Kenn?”
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