They’d explored a path of togetherness and vowed they’d stay loyal to each other for as long as the war allowed.
CHAPTER 24
Maisie made a slow recovery from the mental anguish she had experienced down at the docks but she thrived on the many hours that she and Cam spent exploring each other’s bodies and meeting each other’s sensual needs. When she was with him, all thoughts of her terrible family disappeared.
On the day he left, she broke down and became inconsolable. Coleen reported her in as sick and for four days she spent her spare time comforting Maisie.
During that time, Maisie wrote to Cam and found comfort in her poetry.
Holly Bush House
August 2nd 1942
My Darling Cam,
I am so glad you did not see me after you left. Red eyes, swollen with tears, is not a pretty look.
Once again, I dream of the day you will be back in my arms. It is so lonely without you around. In two days, you showed me what I’ve been missing my whole life, and how wonderful it is to be a woman so loved.
You make me laugh, you comfort me, and you show me how to be strong. Is it so very wrong to fall in love so soon? I once asked myself whether we were simply snatching moments and fooling ourselves. I don’t think so; this feels real and, as you once said, meant to be.
My Pain
It hurts – my silent love
So quiet as it mourns your
Arms of strength and warmth.
It hurts – our missing love
Lost in the dark days of war,
No reassurances of a future.
It hurts – the everlasting day
When arms no longer hold me,
Arms of the man I love.
To pass the time, I’ve put everything into my studies and I am pleased to say I’ve passed another first-aid certificate today.
Talking of certificates, I am seeking a way of changing my name and obtaining a fresh birth certificate. I cannot bear the thought of a piece of paper dictating who I am, especially when it’s a name I do not recognise or want to be associated with. Ever. Does that make sense to you?
Coleen said there are many young men out there willing to take me off your hands should you decide I’m not what you fancy after all. She didn’t take too kindly to my reply. It was a bad day and she received a proper telling off. We made up soon after. She realised she’d spoken wrongly, and I confessed to overreacting.
She and Ted are a true couple now. He proposed by letter and they are going to buy a ring when he returns from wherever he’s been sent. You can imagine the excitement around here now. Other than that, I have no further news.
I must go on duty now, my love.
Please take care and don’t be a hero. Just come home to me.
With my love,
Maisie
Maisie scrawled a heart with an arrow through it onto the paper beneath her signature and sealed the envelope. Before posting it, she pressed her lips to it and hoped Cam received it quickly.
Every day Maisie threw herself into her work and tirelessly cared for more and more patients. She devoted herself to looking after the staff laundry, visited Joyce, and ensured she always had shifts with Coleen. Her friend made her laugh and kept her sane.
She needed her friend during the dark times when she couldn’t push the truth of her heritage from her mind. Jock, Jack, Gloria, Juliana … they all ruled her past like never before. When Coleen wasn’t about, Maisie worked extra shifts to prevent herself from staying home and brooding about it all. When she did take time off, she drew on the memories of tender moments spent with Cam and she wrote endless letters to him expressing her love.
Ted returned to Aldershot barracks and they saw each other as often as they could. Maisie couldn’t help but feel envious – and sometimes extremely lonely, despite being surrounded by people for most of the day.
Maisie held Cam’s latest letter to her chest. She sat in the late sunshine after a particularly gruelling day at work and savoured the slower pace of early evening. Today, the sound of men crying like small babes ate away at her. She’d never expected to be twenty years old still walking the grounds of the place she had lived all those lonely years, listening to sounds which would haunt her for the rest of her life. In her dreams and fantasies, she’d often imagined pushing a pram with a pretty child in it and coming home to the arms of a handsome man. A man much like Cam. Tall, strong, gentle, and handsome. Simple dreams for the simple life Maisie desired.
She tugged Cam’s letter free from its envelope and read it through once again. It held hope and promises of a future she couldn’t bear to think would come true. She stored the words away as part of a dream to hold on to, because she couldn’t allow herself to believe it would ever actually happen. The war wouldn’t allow her dreams of a future anymore. She was witnessing too many of the terrible consequences of war and had come to understood why everyone said that life was too short.
June 29th 1942
Classified Address
My dearest Maisie,
Please do not let the world drag you down once I am gone. You are by far the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, and I know I will love you forever. Our time together means so much to me and I swear for as long as I survive this ugly war, I will never forget our night together. You confided in me and shared your personal fears and I shared mine with you. I knew the first time we met there was something special about you, and I am proud to call you my girl.
I have no idea where I will be sent next, nor when I will return to you. I repeat what I always say: please wait for me. Once again, I promise with my heart I am not just passing by and I don’t have a girl in every town, as you so sweetly put it.
When this war is over, I will take you away from Holly Bush House. I’ll give you the life you deserve. We will live under the shadow of the mountains in Canada and watch the glint of sunlight shimmer over the snowy tips or sit and enjoy the peace of flowing rivers together. I’ll teach you how to catch salmon and we’ll cook it under the stars. Ours will be a happy life.
My love for you always.
Happy birthday for July 2nd, darling. Although it is bound to be a late greeting.
Cam
As Maisie glanced at her present surroundings, she leaned back and created pictures in her mind of how she thought Canada might look. She couldn’t imagine living anywhere other than Southampton, but the thought of moving to Canada with Cam, although scary, dominated her dreams.
Summer rolled along with cinema visits, dance hall events and slow walks with Joyce. On August 9th, Charlie’s dad arrived with the news that Archibald Charles had arrived into their lives and all was well with mother and child.
Letter after letter to Cam kept the postman busy, and Maisie pored over the few she received in return. She heard via Joyce’s brother that Simon had been released and had been shipped back out to sea. Although she was glad he was no longer a prisoner, Maisie was still unsettled by the news. Simon was no longer someone she trusted.
Watching Joyce with her newborn, Maisie wondered if a mother with so much love for a child was capable of just abandoning it like an unwanted kitten. For some time Maisie suppressed the urge to find out more about her mother. One day, after sharing time with Joyce and witnessing the love she gave to Archie, that compulsion to know more about Juliana was overwhelming, and that afternoon Maisie stood at what had once been the entrance to the docks in the hope of catching Doris alone. She’d stood back in the shadows away from leering eyes, with her hair bound in a scarf and hidden under a hat. She’d given no one the opportunity to report her presence to Jock. But after watching the women selling their bodies, and the types of men purchasing what they offered, it was the cure for Maisie, and she headed back to the sanctuary of her cottage. Any further moments of curiosity were soon quashed by the images she saw that afternoon.
CHAPTER 25
‘Silent night, holy night …’
Maisie peeked from under her eyelashes fr
om where she stood amongst the group of singers in church. Coleen had approached her about singing for the Christmas service when she heard Maisie singing to a patient.
‘You’ve the voice of an angel. Sing with us on Christmas day. I’ll not take no as an answer.’
Maisie sang in church – not for Coleen, but for all the servicemen and women who were away from loved ones. She sang for Cam, for Charlie, for Joyce, and baby Archie. She even included a verse for Jack. He tugged at the forefront of her mind most days. She had written to several district councils around the country in the hope that someone might have news of a child adopted into their area, from Holly Bush House. A few had replied to the negative and others replied that although they had taken children from that orphanage, sadly a James or Jack Reynolds was not one of them.
Back home from church, Maisie set about a new exciting project which would keep her busy for a few weeks. Coleen stood on a chair and Maisie had a mouth full of pins. She pushed at her friend’s leg to steady her.
‘Keep still,’ Maisie said carefully, slipping pins into the hem of Coleen’s dress.
‘Ah, go on. Sing at me wedding too. I can’t have me mammy there, but I can have my bossy English friend.’
Maisie punched the last of the pins into the fine parachute fabric secretly donated by Ted’s friend at the barracks. She stood back in the hope that a hint of a wedding dress would stare back at her. She was not disappointed. Deep valleys of pleated cream hung in perfect formation.
‘Done,’ she declared.
Coleen stepped off the chair, each movement with caution.
‘I cannot believe it’s nearly ready,’ she declared.
Maisie gave a puff of negativity.
‘It’s not. I’ve still got to stitch it up.’
Coleen slipped the wedding dress over her head.
‘Don’t stitch it up just yet. Wait a little. Nearer the wedding, like,’ she said with a wink and handed the garment to Maisie.
‘Oh, really? I’ll cut out an extra panel then,’ she said with a flippancy she didn’t feel inside.
Another friend expecting a child. Another friend leaving, this time for the other side of the world.
‘Come on, Maisie. It’s not a disaster nowadays. A lot of girls have fallen pregnant then married. Once our paperwork from Canada and Britain gets a stamp of approval, I’m off. Away from this place.’
Maisie sighed.
‘Aw, don’t you go disapproving now. I’m a good Irish girl. Catholic. This bebby will be loved. Daddy is well off enough to support us. Blame it on the enemy for me wanting to leave. I can’t take another bombing.’
Maisie raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
‘And there it is. The silent Miss Maisie disapproval. Be happy for us, won’t you?’
‘I am. It’s just that … well, I’m … don’t you think, I … well …’
‘Spit it out.’
Maisie smiled. It wasn’t her place to upset Coleen, nor allow her envy to come between the friendship.
‘There’s a lot for you to think about. It’s a big deal wanting to marry Ted, a Canadian,’ she said.
‘So? And wanting to marry Cam isn’t? I seem to recall he’s a Canadian too, and I know you’d marry him like a shot if he asked,’ Coleen said sharply.
Maisie ignored the barbed retort.
‘I mean, what do we know about these men? Ted and Cam? About their way of life. They are in our country at the moment, on good behaviour. What if it isn’t like that in their own countries. What if Canada isn’t all they make it out to be? What if they have girlfriends or wives out there and are leading us astray?’
Coleen slipped on her everyday clothing and carefully draped her wedding dress over the back of Maisie’s sofa.
‘I think we know them both very well, don’t you?’ she teased with a wink. ‘Be honest, Maisie, you’d love to be in my position. Come to think of it, didn’t close contact with something parachute-related feature in your life one night not so long ago? And I’m not talking wedding dress material … Clothes didn’t come into the conversation, as I understand it,’ Coleen said and sniggered.
Her words left a sour taste in Maisie’s mouth. She’d whispered her secret to Coleen and had hoped it would never be spoken of again. She wasn’t ashamed of sleeping with Cam. It had felt like a natural progression in their relationship. What bothered her was Coleen’s way of making it all sound so seedy.
‘Some of us will live with the consequences of our actions, others will do things the right way,’ she said with sniping friction and stared at Coleen’s stomach. Coleen had pushed her too far with snide remarks.
‘Touchy,’ Coleen retorted.
Maisie knew she’d been unkind and apologised.
‘I’m sorry. I’m out of order. I’ll confess, I’m jealous of you. I do want your life … the wedding and a new life. I’m being silly. I wish you all the happiness in the world, Coleen. It’s Christmas Eve and peace on earth is all I’d wish for anyone at the moment.’
‘Jealousy can be a bit of an odd thing. I’ll let you off,’ Coleen said, and embraced Maisie.
Maisie ran her fingers through her hair and yawned. Both of them were so tired from the increase in their workload that they often threw words back at one another, but their friendship was strong enough to bounce back.
‘No, I’m in the wrong. I’m tired but I have no right to take it out on you. I’m sorry. I’ll hand your dress up and get some sleep, I might be a nicer person in the morning. I’ll cover it with a sheet to protect it. You’ll look lovely.’
Lifting the dress onto a hanger, Maisie hooked it onto the back of the door leading into the small porch.
‘I’ll give it to you to wear after me,’ Coleen said as she pulled on her coat.
Maisie giggled and gave Coleen a hug goodbye.
‘I’ll see you in the morning. We’re on the same shift and I hear we’ve got a few goodies to feast on. Sleep tight,’ she said.
Tugging out a sheet from the pile in her ottoman, Maisie heard a noise and guessed Coleen had come back. She often did as she was always leaving something behind.
‘Forget something? I’ll be right down,’ she called out and ran down the few stairs into her main room.
Instead of Coleen, as she’d expected, Simon stood in the middle of the room. His face was grey and gaunt. Her body tensed.
‘Surprised?’
‘Of course! I was told you were deep-sea. How are you?’ Maisie asked, thinking how dreadful he looked.
Simon pulled out a dining chair and sat down.
‘Hungry.’
Annoyed at his assumption that she had enough food to feed him, and that he expected her to serve him a meal, she stood firm.
‘I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve only got one egg left. I can fry it for you, but I’ve no bread until morning. I eat over at the main house.’
She kept the conversation going but noticed his eyes flicker towards the door every now and then.
‘I take it prison was not a good experience for you. You look dreadful. Are you supposed to be here or have you got yourself into trouble again?’ Maisie said with added sarcasm.
With a movement that startled her, Simon pushed back his chair and rummaged around in his coat pocket, pulling out a cigarette.
‘I’d rather you didn’t. The dress,’ Maisie pointed to the wedding dress, ‘it might smell of smoke.’
Simon looked towards the wedding dress.
‘He didn’t waste time. Ruddy foreigners.’
‘It’s not mine. I’m making it for a friend.’
‘I need a drink,’ Simon grunted.
‘I don’t have alcohol here and anyway, I think it’s time you left. You can’t just turn up for a visit whenever you feel like it. I don’t like it, Simon.’
‘I need a drink. It’s Christmas,’ he repeated and scowled at her.
Maisie ignored the comment and pointed to the door.
Simon rose to his feet and picked up the photo
graph of the two small children. ‘Yours?’
‘Of course not! That’s me and my twin – remember, I mentioned him. Please leave, Simon. You are not welcome here. I have a new life and Cam is a big part of that life. Your bully boy tactics won’t work anymore. This is not an orphanage anymore; it is my home and workplace. You need to leave, I mean it.’
Simon suddenly pushed back his chair with such a force that it clattered to the floor. Both of them stared at it and before Maisie could speak, he was out of the door and racing along the pathway.
Shaken, Maisie locked her door and pushed a chair against it, making a silent plea that Simon never returned.
‘Merry Christmas!’
Joyce and Charlie’s parents greeted Maisie with flushed faces and enthusiastic hugs.
‘Merry Christmas! I see the sherry has ventured out of the cupboard whilst some of us were hard at work this morning,’ Maisie laughed as she slipped off her coat.
Joyce put her arm around Maisie’s shoulders and guided her into their front parlour.
‘Come and help yourself. Mum has laid out a spread in your honour. We have a feeling my brother has a few friends with light fingers because they’ve brought us illicit gifts, but we’re not complaining today.’
Maisie stared in surprise at ham slices, a fruit cake, and other treats she’d not seen for a long time.
‘Is that a banana?’ she exclaimed.
‘We all had one as a Christmas present. This one is yours. We certainly didn’t ask where Eddie got them but we’ll hide the skins as deep down in the compost heap as we can,’ Charlie’s dad said and everyone laughed.
The evening passed with carol singing and more merriment and as Maisie left the house, she heard more happy sounds of families taking a brief moment in their lives to forget fighting enemies and enjoy the company of each other. A twinge of sadness shimmied through her as she thought of Cam. Was he enjoying a Christmas meal with friends, or was he across enemy lines, trying to bring about a peaceful New Year?
The Forgotten Orphan: The heartbreaking and gripping World War 2 historical novel Page 19