by Tiana Laveen
“Indeed they do…”
“My mother became pregnant and miscarried early on. After that miscarriage, she became pregnant once more, much to their surprise. Once I was conceived and thriving, however, he demanded she not terminate the pregnancy. He stated to her he had a dream that I must live. Many years after her death, I began to read about her life, what she believed. She happened to fall in love with a Demon Child; it was not planned or something she felt could be avoided. Nevertheless, neither would budge on their dogmata. As I studied what my mother believed, I realized that was in fact what I was, despite my father’s blood running through my body. Even after he publicly claimed me as his son and brought me into the fold soon after her death, I rejected his way of life. I left his church and embraced my Angel Child nature completely. Needless to say, my father wished to have nothing further to do with me. That’s when Armondo found me.”
“He was living outside on the streets, homeless.” Armondo cleared his throat, then spoke up on his comrade’s behalf. “I knew what the hell he was as soon as I saw him, and I couldn’t believe it. I knew people like Cruz exited, but had never seen one with my own eyes.”
“Yes, interesting. Speaking of eyes, why won’t you look at me directly, Cruz?” Saint cocked his head to the side and tapped his chin as he reviewed the man closely, unable to keep his captivation at bay.
“Because it is disrespectful to look a god in the eye.”
“I’m no god, Cruz. I’m a man. Just like your father, your mother and everyone else in this room, this city, this world.”
“Yes, you are human, but God resides within you in a way that He doesn’t reside within the rest of us. You have enough soul power for five hundred people. I have none to share. You see, I do not have a soul at all, Mr. Aknaten.” The man spoke so matter-of-factly, as if completely accepting the shit.
Cruz read minds through radio waves. He could make people do things they never dreamed they’d stoop so low to achieve—but what he claimed was true. Cruz had a problem of the spiritual kind.
Saint stopped pacing and took the man in, seized the fella’s chin in his grip and stared the strange spawn in the eye, making him face him.
“Look at me! Look me in the damn eye right now!”
Cruz did as asked. Those green eyes turned yellow, then pure white.
“I don’t know who told you that, or where you got that impression, but it’s not true. You’ve got a damn soul; it’s just buried deep, deeper than a hole in hell, but it’s there.” Saint patted the man’s chest, right over his heart. “Your mother made sure of that when she gave birth to you. I will help you find it after this is all settled.” He released the man’s face and walked away, feeling the heaviness of the entire encounter profoundly within him.
“What time is it, man?” Saint inquired.
“Oh, sorry about your watch,” Armondo stated. “It’ll start working once you leave here. It’s about seven in the morning.”
“Shit! We’ve been down here that long?” Saint closed his eyes for a moment, then looked around. “Okay, I have to go. Here is what I want to happen, everyone. Don’t do shit, don’t say shit, do nothing. Everybody play it cool, act natural…like nothing has changed. Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” everyone said in unison.
“You don’t know shit about any Saint Aknaten being in town. Go on with your lives. We will not be making any first moves. If he knows I’m here, and I have no doubt that he does, then he will do something to let me know he is aware of that. He knows why I’m here and what I’m here to do.”
“And what’s that?!” Raphael blurted, worry in his tone as he stepped a bit closer, his face tight and his body tense.
Saint looked over his shoulder at his friend and smirked. “I’m here to send that mothafucka back to Hell…”
*
Chapter Eleven
Xenia crossed her legs and swayed her foot back and forth as a light breeze fluttered through the open shutter windows, the black 2-inch heeled shoes dangling from her feet. She disconnected the call. The passing hours had worn her thinner than a penny run over by a city bus and despite the warming sunshine casting soft, yellow rays across the sitting area she lounged about in, she was wrought with worry. She’d been interviewing nannies all morning and afternoon, but it was useless. It seemed no one fit the bill. She uttered a disgruntled sigh when she realized that either her standards were too high, or she simply felt home sick.
It might even be both…
She stared down at her gold linked wristwatch, then ran nervous fingers through her two-strand twisted hair and got to her feet.
I’ll have to put this on ice for a minute.
Suddenly Isis’ tiny feet stomped past her, leaving an orange blur behind.
“Heeeey! Where are you going, baby?” Xenia called out, a big smile on her face. Isis stopped in her tracks in the large black and white kitchen, turned around and gave a devilish grin.
“Outside, Mommy!” She pointed towards the doors leading to the patio.
“Okay Isis, but this house is not like the old one, okay? You can’t just go outside anytime you want. You have to ask Mommy first.”
The little girl pouted, verging on breaking out into a fit. Her bouncy black pigtails, full of shiny ringlets, glittered under the recessed lighting.
“Daddy is getting the indoor pool installed next week, and the playroom that will be on the other side, downstairs, can be like your own play land, but that is going to take a little time.”
Isis probably didn’t understand half of what she was saying, but Xenia had used the same language with her eldest children and believed it helped them considerably in their comprehension skills. As she took the little girl by the hand, her phone rang. She’d left it on the couch.
“Oh, hold on, baby…”
She left Isis standing there to retrace her steps. Removing her earring, she placed her cell phone back up to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Hello Xenia, this is Valerie.”
“Oh my goodness!” Xenia squealed, elated to hear from Saint’s mentor’s wife. Naomi, George’s wife, and Valerie were two of her most favorite people in the whole world. Yet, she could count on one hand how many times the woman had contacted her and each time, Xenia felt refreshed and revived. Valerie had a way about her—elegant, beautiful, with a kindness that seemed to know no boundaries.
“I’m calling to see how you’re adjusting, darling.” The smile in her voice almost radiated through the phone waves.
“Maaaaaaahhhhhhh-meeeeeee!” Isis whined and twirled about, reminding her mother of what she’d planned to do.
“Oh, yes… Uh, Valerie, hold on a second.”
“Is this a bad time?”
“Uh, no. Isis just wants to play outside, just give me a second.”
“Hey, baby, let’s go out this way.” She took the little girl by the hand and went through the double doors. Outside, tomato plants grew up on long wooden sticks and bright, yellow daffodils snuggled close to the soil, their shiny leaves touching the light gray fence. Xenia took a seat on a wooden green lawn chair while Isis made her way towards one of her dollhouses. Saint had set the huge thing outside for her to play with on such an occasion and at this moment, she was grateful he’d torn himself away from unpacking to put it back together again.
“Okay, Valerie, sorry about that.” Xenia huffed, trying to catch her breath as she moved about in her seat, attempting to grasp at a semblance of comfort.
“No problem. I just wanted to see how the move went, if you all have had time to settle in, yet.”
“Well.” Xenia looked around. “A lot of things are unloaded. The kids’ rooms are done. That was top priority and we have the guest room finished, too. My mother and sister were in town. My mother really loved Soho. I know you’ve mentioned it before.”
“Oh yes, Soho is superb and I bet your mother and sister had a wonderful time!”
Xenia rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure
they did,” she said dryly, trying to avoid any messy gossip about her mama right then and there. Fact of the matter was, Xenia felt relieved when they’d finally left the house to go back home…
Mama Pam had decided to add her own personal decorating touches, and it almost gave Saint a coronary…
She heard her name being called in the wee hours of the morning, as if he were losing the will to live. Grabbing her robe, she almost tripped down the steps to reach him, only to find the man standing in the kitchen, a light glaring over his head, making him look somewhat angelic. But his whooping and hollering soiled that notion and drove the beautiful thoughts from her mind. No, he had no halo placed upon his crown. In its place were twin horns, glistening from the saliva of the Devil, as if he’d just been hatched from the demon’s mouth. He pointed defiantly at an over-sized jar filled with light pink liquid and fragments of floating pork. Pieces of marinated meat drifted about, a ballet of pickled flesh for all to see.
“Where…did Mama Pam… get this?!” His lips were tight, drawn to almost a perfect ‘O’ as he lost his damned mind. He kept that long golden finger pointed to the damn thing, as if it were some alien in a jar from some horrid sci-fi movie. And though she tried to avoid such a reaction, Xenia began to shake like a wispy, wind-beaten leaf on a branch during a blustery evening. The laughter in her gut refused to be squelched…so out it poured, infuriating her husband even further.
“Oh Saint! It’s only pig feet!” She gasped, trying to pull herself together though she knew it was too late.
“That…is one of the most…disgusting things I’ve ever seen and trust me, I’ve seen some pretty grotesque stuff! Xenia, look, I appreciate everything your mother does for us and the kids, I really do, but this is too much! She’s been here a week; when is she leaving?”
Before Xenia could answer, he started up again.
“First, I find her partial in my bathroom…sitting on the side of the damn sink! Why in the hell were your mother’s teeth in our bathroom?! Those two teeth were sitting there as if that is where they belonged! Then, I find out she did the laundry, but threw some of her clothes in, too. She had left a stick of lipstick in her pocket. Now my favorite shirt is crimson tie-dye and she had the nerve to say to me—when I brought it to her attention—that I was ungrateful and to just think of it as her kissing me all over!
“Let’s not even talk about the chocolate candies she bit into. She took a bite off every! damn! one! And then put them back in the box, as if nothing had happened. How about the empty cookie canister that she filled with her assortment of toenail fungus ointments! Does she collect them?! Why were there so many? It was like she’d bought stock in the shit! How many tubes did she need and why the hell were they in the cookie canister?!
“I don’t…” Xenia trembled so, he was tearing her apart. She couldn’t stop laughing, even if offered a thousand dollars to do so. “I don’t…know, Saint.”
“She put it right back in the pantry closet. I opened it, and that’s what I saw! I’ll never be the same, you hear me?! Never!”
That was it. Xenia slumped against the wall holding her gut or she’d surely slide to the floor.
“Look baby, okay, yes, Mama is a bit much but that is just what she eats, okay?” She pointed to the swine delicacy, as if he had trouble recalling where it was.
“She knows how I feel about that shit! I want it and her out of this house, Xenia!” He stormed past her, obviously even more angered by her reaction. She doubled over, completely losing it. Her face felt flushed and her eyes watered. This was simply too much…
Xenia left the recent memory and rejoined the conversation with Valerie. “Valerie.” She cleared her throat, wanting to get serious for a moment as her wayward thoughts still gave her the slight giggles. “I need to ask you something…something important.”
“Of course, sweetheart. What is it?” Xenia heard what sounded like a fire crackling. “’Scuse me, honey, right before I called you, I was at the hearth here. You know, James and I used to light a fire, no matter the weather, at least once a month.” She could hear the smile in the woman’s voice. “It was always so romantic. We’d sit there with a bottle of wine and just enjoy one another… I miss him so much.”
Xenia’s heart broke into a million flying fragments. Valerie always showed strength and kept herself together, poised for the whole wide world to see, even during tough times. In actuality, the woman was rather private. This openness she offered at that moment was so much appreciated, much more than Valerie could ever know.
I couldn’t imagine losing Saint…I just couldn’t…
“I’m so sorry, Valerie. He was a great man and Saint loved him so, just as much as his own biological father.”
“I know…” She sighed loudly and paused. Xenia let her take her time, sure she needed a second or two to take the tremble out of her tone. “James thought the world of Saint, Xenia. I used to call Saint my son when I’d introduce him to people.” She chuckled lightly. “Some believed me. In my heart, it was true. That’s what he was like and do you know, to this day, your husband still calls me at least once a week to see how I’m doing?”
Xenia actually didn’t know, but she wasn’t the least bit surprised. “Well, that sounds like him. He adores you. He wants to live up to James’ expectations, too.”
“Xenia, I heard the office there is tore up with construction and what not, but business is running well already so I know James is smiling down on him. Oh…Xenia! I’m so sorry, honey!” The woman lightly laughed. “You told me you had something important to ask me and I totally got off track. Baby, I’m old!” She laughed loudly now.
“No, no, it’s okay, Valerie. I enjoyed talking to you about James.”
“I’m certain you did but right now, I’m giving you the stage.”
“Um…well, I’ve been doing some thinking and wanted to run something past you.”
“Go right ahead.”
“My husband, and other people too, have been telling me for years, hinting around at least, that I need to be more…what’s the word? Demonstrative, I guess you could say, regarding Saint’s career. Now, I liked that you weren’t, you know? You had a Jackie Kennedy vibe while James did his thing and I thought that was what Saint needed, especially since I was working outside of the home and we had our own public careers. I just wanted to let Saint do his thing, like he says of my own career, but I’m now starting to really consider the hints he has dropped to me about being more outspoken. I am okay with that… I just, I don’t know.” She sighed. “I need advice, Valerie. What do you think I should do?”
“Xenia, first let me say that since I see Saint as a son, I also see you as a daughter, even though you have your own mother who clearly, from what I’ve been told, loves you very much.”
“…Thank you, Valerie.” Xenia smiled and continued to watch Isis playing with her dolls, pretending to make them walk about their bedroom and take naps.
“Now, with that said, I’m going to deliver this piece of advice to you in the only way I know how, and that is the honest way. If that man says he needs you to do that, to step up, hint or no hint, then that’s what you do. We had two totally different situations. You see, James’ involvement with the Rainbeau Knights was obviously secret. So is Saint’s, but differently so.
“I could not be in the limelight, Xenia, because well, he could’ve been killed. He was a career politician and a liberal white man married to a black woman, at that. He was already hated and if anyone would have known he was running some group for the enrichment, empowerment and evolution of black women married to non-black men, well, I don’t want to even think about what would have happened, though trust me I did, many a night. It all started after a slew of hate crimes, during which time the police in the 60’s and 70’s did little to protect us. Now, you and Saint are the new generation. Some things have changed, but some things have remained the same, dear…and don’t you forget it.”
The words sent a chill up Xenia’s
spine, wrapped as they were in layers of complete truth…sobering.
“Everyone knows your husband is involved with a movement. They do not know about the Rainbeau Knights, nor should they; however, his outspokenness about our relationships has been well documented. He needs you. It’s time to step up, Xenia. It’s time to take the reins. And let me add this as well. You can still have a career, be his wife and your children’s mother, too. It’s possible! Now, James and I were unable to have children, we tried but it just wasn’t meant to be. Many people know this, but I also at one point in time worked outside of the home and if I had been able to, I would have been more vocal. Xenia, think about it…you have a killer voice. You sound beautiful on the radio.”
“Thank you.” Xenia touched her cheek, feeling flushed.
“I’m serious. You have a presence about you, everyone can see it. You are down to earth, women relate to you, yet you’re polished and well put together. You can do this, Xenia and really,” the woman took a deep breath and what sounded like a sip of her drink, “you already knew the answer to this. You just wanted the green light.” She laughed lightly.
Xenia did, too.
“I suppose you’re right. It is a big undertaking though. There are Queen Conferences and the like…as you already know. Saint said he doesn’t mind speaking to them, but they should hear from me, too…”
“Xenia, you’ve been there, done that and bought the T-shirt. You’ve shown so many women how to appreciate their worth with the things you say on the radio to older as well as young ladies that call you for advice. Saint told me how you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and made a way for yourself. The odds were stacked against you, and life is sometimes hard for a young, black girl.”