by Tiana Laveen
“Do you know how many people can’t wait until you turn eighteen? They’ve already accepted this notion that you will always be a delinquent. All they see is an orphaned Puerto Rican kid who hates himself and life, and will screw anyone over just to get a little pleasure. They see you as trashy, careless, lifeless, time-consuming, a waste of human space, and they don’t even know who you really are, nor do they care to know!”
“Who is they, man?” Angel asked flippantly. “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. If I did, I wouldn’t even be sitting here!” He finally let his anger show, let Saint know that he was mad, hurt, and alone.
“They is everyone that has the power to lock your ass up!” Saint reached over Hassani and pointed in the boy’s face, his brows dipped low. “They is every authority figure you’ve told, ‘Fuck you.’ And if you ever speak to me that way again, the way you did at the school, I will knock your goddamn teeth down your throat so you can shit molars!”
Angel didn’t flinch, but Saint knew he was scared. His heart rate increased, and he could smell the fear pouring forth from the boy’s body.
Good. I want you to be afraid because this is serious and you acting like it’s some game…
“They is every foster parent that didn’t give a shit about you. They is every teacher that saw you could draw and paint, but didn’t encourage you to pursue it, make something of it because they were too busy, jealous, or didn’t care. They are all the strangers that pass you by and see a future welfare recipient, someone nursing off the government’s tit while others who held a damn job, as miserable as it may have been, had to go through the labor pains. That is who the fuck they is and you better start caring, because they can make sure that he”—he pointed at Hassani—“is open wide to get…fucked… UP!”
Everyone grew silent as Saint flopped back in his chair, anger eating at him, his chest heaving up and down. He wanted to choke the kid, but a part of him loved the bastard already.
“Okay.” Angel drew serious. “I will try real hard to stop smoking.” He reached into his coat pocket that hung along the back of the chair, and handed Saint a plastic bag of weed.
Saint snatched it away before Hassani had the chance to examine it out of sheer curiosity, and stuffed it into his jeans pocket.
“And the other pocket.” Saint cleared his throat and outstretched his hand.
Angel looked obviously pissed that he was busted.
“I told you, you can’t mind fuck me. Now hand it over.” Soon, Saint had the other bag, too. “How dare you bring this shit into my house?” He huffed. “I know you’ve got more at home, too. Flush it, I mean it.”
Angel nodded in agreement.
“I can tell you aren’t addicted. I can feel—almost taste—addiction because I’ve been around it, experienced it. But…you do like it a lot, so it will still be a struggle for you to stop. Angel, stop now before it is too late. You are a bright kid. You are talented. You don’t need to smoke this.”
Angel rolled his eyes. “I ain’t like you. I can’t do everything by the book, but I’ll try.”
Saint shook his head and grimaced.
“Angel, you and I are going to get to know each other very well. One thing you need to know about me right now…and my son knows this, so I’m not ashamed to admit it in front of him again: everything you’re doing, I’ve done times ten.”
The boy’s eye grew a bit wider in astonishment.
“What you see right now is the after photo, so to speak, not the before. I grew up in the South Bronx and Brooklyn, in the low-income housing. I was out…” Saint began to count off his fingers, “…smokin’, drinkin’, fuckin’, stealin’ and fightin’. That’s all I did from the time I woke up until I went to bed. I hated myself and I hated that I was still alive! Like your parents, my parents died, too; only my father still had breath in his body, but he may as well have been dead after she passed away. You don’t know me.” Saint’s eyes narrowed as he said the words real slow, “But you will in due time…”
Everyone went quiet for a few moments.
“Now that that business is out of the way,” Saint said upon a loud sigh, “let’s discuss your living arrangements.”
“I don’t want to be adopted. No offense, but especially not by you. You too strict… I can’t live like that.”
“I already explained to you, that would be a conflict of interest and I’m not allowed to interfere that way. And trust me, I’m not offended because if you think you are someone I would want under my roof in your current condition, you better think again. You aren’t a damn prize.”
Angel crossed his arms, frowning, then rolled his eyes.
“I’m talking about getting you into a stable household, one in which you could trust the people. Trust takes time, and you’ve been burnt. I get it. I can’t know them though, I can’t be a part of it, but I can highly suggest you state to your social worker that you wish to be adopted or at the very least placed with a good foster home where the people care about the education of the children they take in. I also understand that you don’t want to be separated from your brother. This has slowed down both of your adoption choices, and I can appreciate and respect that. Angel, you want to be my son’s Guardian for a number of reasons. It’s not going to be a cakewalk so get that out of your mind. I can see bits of your future, and it’s bright, but you have to start investing in yourself, doing the right thing. No one can love you the way you deserve until you start loving yourself first. I don’t expect you to change overnight, but you have got to show effort, man.”
Angel dropped his head.
Saint scooted a bit closer and placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. He swallowed as his head lowered, feeling all the pain trapped in that poor young man’s body. The shit hurt like hell.
“Angel,” Saint whispered as he pushed his forehead into the boy’s, coming together as one. “I know you don’t believe this, but someone loves you. My son loves you, Angel. He looks up to you, and though he tries to impress you and act tough, he was devastated when you stopped speaking to him. He sees the God in you, man. He saw something inside of you that I didn’t…but I see it now. My son’s eyes were wide open on this. He is a good judge of character; it is one of his finer suits. You didn’t have to protect him from those bullies, but you did. That’s what you do though; you’re a born protector. You protect your brother, you protect the underdogs, and that is how you got your reputation. You tried to protect your parents from themselves, but you were just a child. Their relationship was volatile. There was mistrust, jealousy and anger. Stop blaming yourself for not being able to stop what happened, Angel. You had nothing to do with that. Even after everything you’ve been through, you saw my son was in need of help and gave him assistance.
“Yes, you want to get close to Hassani because of what he is, because you know there are benefits to that, but you also want to do it because it is the right thing to do, and you know it takes sacrifice. Being a Guardian to an Angel Child is hard work, but you stepped up to the plate. I know you thought about approaching him every single day when you put distance between you two. I know you dreamed about him, and I know you were upset about what happened. I am not going to interfere, you have my word. You just do what I ask you to do regarding the drugs and all of that, and I will stay out of your way and let you do what you were designed to do. As long as you are helping to watch over my son, you have a place in my heart, Angel.”
He lifted the boy’s head up to see he now had tears in his eyes.
Saint placed his other hand across his heart. “You will never have to run around trying to find love the way you have been, in all the wrong places. You’ve got it right here. You’re strong. You’ve got a way about you—people like you. Use it to your advantage. You say I’m too strict and all of these things, but we both know deep down you’ve been yearning for structure and love. Everyone needs structure, Angel, and contrary to what you think, I’m not the way you see me. Do I discipline my children? Yes, but
I love them just as hard. I know what’s it like to feel all the discipline but none of the love.” Saint’s voice trembled. “It’s a horrible feeling and I’d never allow my children to experience that through my callous behavior. That’s all I have to say for now.” Saint leaned back and sighed while Angel stared at him, quickly wiping the tears out of his eyes. “Do you have any questions?”
“Yeah.” The boy smirked, a gleam in his eye.
Hassani smiled too, as if they both were in on some silly secret.
“Hassani can dance.”
“I know.”
“He said he learned it from you. I don’t believe him.”
Saint laughed lightly. “And why is that?”
“’Cause you just don’t seem like the type.”
“I told you that you don’t know me, Angel. You make a lot of assumptions.”
The boy shrugged. “I suppose that’s true. I just have never met anyone like you. I don’t know how to take it, I guess you could say. I just have a problem imagining a bad ass like you laughing and dancing. I only know a few multi-tiered Angel Children, and they seem like they real serious. You don’t act like that, I mean, like today you didn’t. You make jokes ’nd shit…”
“My Daddy is funny.” Hassani blurted then put his hands over his mouth, forgetting he’d been sworn to temporary silence.
Saint grinned at him. “It’s okay to talk now, Hassani. We’re done with the hard part. Can you dance, Angel?”
“Can a fish swim? Maaaaan, I mean, Saint!” The boy smacked his forehead in frustration. “You make me nervous!” He laughed anxiously.
“It’s okay… Yeah, so…” Saint rubbed his thighs and clapped his hands. “I tell you what. I don’t have time right now but one day, you and I can dance here at the house. I want you to show me your moves. I like learning new dances; it’s fun to me, relaxing.”
“He learns real quick, too!” Hassani chimed in excitedly. “Daddy is old, but he can still move.”
Angel and Saint burst out laughing.
“Thanks a lot, son,” Saint teased as he got to his feet. “Angel, feel free to sit here and talk to Hassani a while. I’ll check on you later, okay?”
Angel got to his feet and wrapped his arms around him with all his might. Saint returned the embrace with fervor, letting him know that he was accepted; he had his blessing.
As he turned to walk away, Angel called out, “A, uh, Dr. Saint!”
Saint paused and turned back towards him as he slicked his hands into his pockets.
“Yes, Angel?”
“I just…” The boy sat back down in his chair and looked down at his feet, as if too shy to speak. “I wanna say thank you for giving me a chance. I can’t really explain to you why I dig your son like this, he just a little cat, but I do. I…I just want to help him.”
“I know, Angel, and I am aware you can’t help yourself. In some ways, history is repeating itself, but in other ways this is a brand new chapter that can end totally in an unexpected way. You two will take care of each other; you will be like brothers and assist and love one another… I can’t in good conscience try to stop that. Love should never be hampered, not today or tomorrow. Love should be treated like a gift, no matter what wrapping paper it arrives in…”
*
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Xenia stood in the middle of the partially empty studio, prepared to sign off for the day. The next show would be starting soon, and she was relieved to be going home. She was famished, but first, she needed to drop off some things on her desk for the following morning. Today she’d had the pleasure of spinning all 80’s tunes while conducting an in-depth conversation with Chico Debarge. She grabbed her pink spiral notebook, stuffed with papers filled with handwritten notes and made her way out the door after giving her customary ‘goodnight’ to the crew. Navigating down the hall, she made her way to her office. As soon as she opened the damn door, there he was, sitting in her damn chair like he owned the place.
Xenia grinned and stared down at the floor for a spell, then met eyes with the golden-eyed Adonis.
“Good show, baby…” He bit into his bottom lip, swiveling back and forth ever so slowly.
“Thank you.” She sat her folder down on a small table in the corner of the room, crossed her arms and stared at him. “I’m waiting for the part where you tell me what you’re doing here.” She had no wish to pussy foot with the man.
“What?” He arched his thick, black eyebrow and threw his hands up. “I can’t come visit my baby at work?’
“Of course you can… You just took me by surprise.”
Saint nodded and reached behind him, turning on her iPod that he’d given her a few months back, fully loaded with some of her favorite tunes.
“‘Virgin’…that’s one of my favorite songs by Chico Debarge. It brought back memories to hear it played today.”
“Yeah, it’s kinda sexy… Underrated, too.” She had no doubt she was blushing now. He had an effect on her, and as he sat there, he communicated without words with what he had on his mind. The vibe in the room changed and his eyes glowed ever so subtly.
“Mmmm hmmm.” He stopped swiveling in the leather chair and steepled his hands together, eying her slowly up and down, as if she were a piece of delicious candy he wished to wrap his lips around. “I was thinking about you all day today. Missing you, baby.”
“Missing me?” She paused for a moment, reflecting on his words. “I missed you too.” She crossed her ankles and pressed her damn thighs together as her valley pulsated.
“Well, let’s show each other how much we missed each other, then.” Smug, he rose from the chair, staring at her in a way that made her body run warm, then hot. He reached for his belt; it made a snapping noise as he undid it. The black, glossy leather hung open, the silver buckle gleaming and clinking as if waving in her direction. He kept his eye on her as he unzipped his pants then reached inside the slit of his black boxer shorts and pulled out his cock, allowing his pants to drop to the floor. The slightly curved hunk of veins and muscle bobbed about, hard as hell. It almost seemed to be staring at her groin, the head glistening, slick with his anticipation. Stepping out of his pants, he kicked them aside. She reached for her necklace, turning the jade beads to and fro, unable to take her eyes off his cock.
He seemed to delight in her gaze upon his member, loving that she couldn’t look away.
“If you want to fuck me, then get your ass over here and do it.” He plopped down in the chair and placed his long arms behind his head, waiting for her to make her move. Eyes narrowed, Xenia sauntered over like a runway model, stopping abruptly at her desk. She slammed her laptop closed, removed her burgundy heels, tugged her pantyhose down and kicked them to the side. Saint grabbed her abruptly around her waist, making her body sway as he looked into her eyes. She lifted her legs over his thighs, mounting him as he seized his cock, giving her an open invitation. She looked down at the immense monster. It eyed her. waited for her to slide her slippery goodness atop it, force that python within her. Leaning back in the seat, he gave her some room to anchor herself just right.
She rested her hands on his upper thighs as she enveloped the big, bulging head, her thankful pussy kissing his voracious dick that popped in and out of her wet opening.
“Uhhh!” She moaned as she repeated the motion, over and over. She looked into his hooded eyes, loving how he watched her work her pussy over his cock.
He rocked back and forth in the chair, never blinking, smiling, or uttering a word. Then, as if waiting for some special announcement that finally arrived, he wrapped his warm hands across her ass, squeezed and began to gently thrust the dome of his dick in and out of her, matching her rhythm.
“Mmmm…” He groaned as Chico continued to sing. “I think it’s time you go down a bit further.” He looked into her eyes and winked. “What do you think? You ready, baby?”
She obliged.
“Ahhhh,” she sighed, digging her nails into his thighs, bra
cing herself on gyrating hips. His wide cock pushed her open; she could feel the strain, and fucking loved it. The thick vein that ran along the right side of his dick kept bumping against her walls, heightening the sensations. She shuddered a bit, almost losing her balance. It felt so damn good. He thrust a bit faster and harder, forcing yet another inch inside of her.
“Uhhh…ride it, Xenia…ride my dick! Uhhh!” His hands tightened across her ass cheeks as she milked the bastard, her juices streaming down his throbbing shaft. She adored, loved, relished, cherished and treasured that big cock of his…never taking it for granted. “Tell me how much you like it…” he panted as they both increased their pace. “Uhhh!”
He shoved yet another inch within her, and she whimpered in pleasure.
“Ohhhh, baby!” She smiled, moving her hands from his thighs to his chest, keeping her balance all the while. “I love it. I love your big ass dick in my wet pussy, baby.”
“You make a mothafucka want to give you another baby, shit!” He pushed another inch within her, while she moaned and trembled atop him. “Your pussy juice is runnin’ all down my balls, baby…so damn wet. Uhhh… Go all the way down, Xenia, take that shit to the base. I need to feel all of you!”
She made a rough estimate in her mind, knowing she had about three more inches or so to cover. Once he was all the way in, she was afraid she may scream out, bringing attention to the fact she was having wild sex in her damn office. She took but one look at the want, the need in his gorgeous eyes and went ahead…
She slid down the bastard’s pole, took him whole, and shrieked.
“Ahhhh! Ahhh!”
Thankfully, Saint quickly placed a hand over her lips and muffled her cries and sighs as he pumped harder and faster within her. She met him at each pass, their groins now rubbing together. Sliding his hand between them, he stimulated her clit as he stared intensely into her eyes.