She didn't hesitate to reach out and touch him.
Relief flooded his system as he got out of the car and walked toward the front of the massive hospital. Kendal was somewhere inside, and though he'd told Damon the floor and the room number, it was too hard to understand that poor guy through his tears.
Damon paused by the front desk and ran his hand over his face. He'd never seen Kendal cry, though they'd been through some shit that should have caused them both to break down. He hadn't even broken down over Ana, which was well worth the emotion. The girl had been perfect for Kendal, but because of her age and the fact that she was one of his students, their relationship soon became the center of controversy.
"Can't catch a fucking break, can you, man?" Damon smiled over at the nurse who glanced up.
"I'm sorry?"
"No, I was just talking to myself. I'm looking for Amanda Tarrington's room. I just got word from her brother that she passed away." Damon slid his hands onto the desk and leaned forward.
"I'm so sorry to hear that." She turned back to her computer. "Let me see where she is. Looks like she's in six forty-two on the sixth floor."
"Thank you." Damon nodded and turned to jog toward the elevator. He was surprised Kendal was still at the hospital seeing that he'd gotten word that morning that Amanda hadn't made it through the night. Why the fuck hadn't he gone home?
An older man in a white coat held the door for him as he walked into the elevator and let out a tight sigh. "Sixth floor please?"
"Sure." The guy glanced back and crossed his hands over his chest. "You all right? You seem a little out of sorts."
"My best friend just lost his sister. I'm just trying to get to him." Damon ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head. "She's had MS for a long time, but I don't think any of us imagined her not pulling through."
"MS is a horrible disease." He moved toward the door as the elevator stopped on the third floor. "I'm sorry for your loss, son."
"Thanks," Damon mumbled and pulled out his phone. Nervousness resurrected deep inside of him. What was he going to say to Kendal that would offer comfort? He should have called earlier, but he was lost in his belief that his best friend was after his girl. "How fucking stupid is that?"
The door opened on the sixth floor, and Damon forced himself to walk out and turn left. The room was down on the right, but the hall was empty. He'd half expected Kendal to be sitting alone in the hall. There was no way they still had Amanda's body in the room, right?
"Can I help you?" A pretty nurse with dark hair and caramel-colored skin moved in front of him.
"I'm just going right here. Is... Is Amanda Tarrington still in there?" Damon hated to ask, but he had to prepare himself just in case.
"No." The woman glanced down at her hands. "Her brother is."
"Kendal." Damon turned but paused before reaching up and resting his hand on the door handle. Every horrid memory of his mother dying played along his mind's eye. Anger and devastation soon followed, leaving him frozen in place.
"He's in there." She touched Damon's shoulder. "You all right?"
"Yeah." He glanced back, thinking she looked almost too much like Kendal's old girlfriend, Ana. Surely the guy had noticed. How could he not?
She gave him a sad smile and walked back toward the nurses’ station.
Damon took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
Kendal turned from the window and stood stone still. "Hey, buddy."
"Hey man." Damon moved across the room, unsure of how to react. He glanced back toward the bed to find it empty. "I'm so sorry, Kendal."
"Yeah, me too."
Damon turned back as Kendal's eyes filled with tears. He reached up and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
Without thinking, he reached out and pulled Kendal into a tight hug. "We'll get through this together."
Kendal's voice broke as he pressed his face to the top of Damon's shoulder and gripped the back of his shirt tightly. "Will we? My baby sister isn't here anymore. Mom and Dad are gone and now, she's gone too, Damon. I should have done something more. I should have forced the hospital to look at new treatments, or taken more fucking time off from work to be with her." He let out a painful sounding sob. "She died alone last night. No one was in here while she slipped into the darkness. No one."
Damon's throat tightened as tears blurred his vision. He gripped Kendal tighter, hurting for his best friend in the same way he hurt for Matt when their mother died.
There were no words that would offer comfort. She's in a better place? Was she really? Damon had no clue. He didn't even fully comprehend what the better place might be or where it was. It seemed trite and too callous to offer a canned answer to his closest friend, so he didn't.
"Let's get you out of here, okay? I'll take you back to your apartment." Damon cupped the back of Kendal's head and pressed his cheek against his friend's. "I'm not gonna leave you to deal with this alone. You're not alone at all. I'm right here."
Kendal nodded and moved back before wiping his hands down his face. "I'm so numb. Every fear I had about this day is coming true. I kept hoping that I'd be married or have a family of my own before I lost Mandy. I knew the day would come, but it's early. Too early. She was fucking twenty-five, Damon. Just a baby."
Damon nodded and moved to wrap his arm around Kendal's shoulders. "Come on, man. We'll talk in the car and at your place. Let's get out of here, okay?"
"Yeah, just turn right when we walk out. I don't want to see Dana."
"The pretty dark-haired nurse out front?" Damon glanced down at Kendal as he pulled the door open. "Is she the one you casually mentioned the other day?"
"Yeah. Just turn to the right, all right?" he barked and pulled from Damon's grasp.
"All right. No problem." Damon moved up beside him and ignored the sweet sound of the girl’s voice as she called Kendal from behind them. He was in no place to talk to anyone, but fuck if it didn't feel like crap to leave her standing in the hall unanswered.
"I just can't." Kendal ran his fingers through his dark brown hair and got into the elevator, keeping his back to the door.
Damon got in and shook his head as the girl pressed her hands to her face and turned. The soft sound of her crying tore at his heart. Was she in love with Kendal? Now wasn't the time to ask, but there would be some comfort in knowing that someone cared about his best friend besides him. Bethany cared too, but Kendal wasn't going to let her too close to him. Damon had no doubt that Kendal holding Beth at arm’s-length was because of his friendship with Damon.
"My car is over there." Kendal pointed to the far part of the parking lot as they walked out.
"Don't worry about it. Matt and I will come get it later. Let's just get you home." Damon walked toward his car, moving to Kendal's side and opening the door for him. "Man, I'm sorry for not coming sooner. I'm a fucking horrible friend."
"It's all right." Kendal got in the car and leaned back, letting out a long sigh. "Just make it up to me and grab us a six pack before you hit the freeway."
"Of course," Damon mumbled before closing the door and walking to his side. Life was so damn fleeting. Amanda shouldn't have passed away so quickly, but it almost seemed like she'd given up. Being in bed for so many years had a tendency to wear on someone, but Kendal wouldn't let her see it that way. Maybe he should have been there more for her, not that Damon would have ever mentioned it, but his career, his profession had become the biggest roadblock in his life. He wasn't willing to bend on his career in any way whatsoever for anyone. Never. Not even a little.
Why?
"I'm gonna call Beth when we get to your place after you get settled." Damon glanced over at Kendal after he got into the car and buckled up. "She was worried about you."
"I bet." Kendal turned his face toward the window closest to him. "You need to make amends with her. She's a good woman, and you're fucking things up horribly. I've been fighting your fights for you, but it's your turn to man up and fix this sh
it or let her go."
Damon nodded, not willing to strike back at Kendal's comment. He was right in his assessment, and Damon was moving toward fixing things. It wasn't going to happen overnight, but it needed to happen. She was everything to him. Nothing mattered outside of her and yet he was scared as hell that he didn't have the power to fix it.
"I'm working on it, buddy." He started the car and put it in reverse as he let out a soft sigh. "I was trying to think through what the best way to get her back might be, and thinking back on the beginning when we met; I realize it was about physical attraction."
"That's true." Kendal turned his face toward Damon. "But that time is over. I think the attraction can always be present, but there was something that moved you from lust to love Damon. You proposed to the girl after a few weeks. That's not at all your style. What changed all of that?"
"For her?" Damon pulled out onto the road in front of the hospital and swallowed his pride for a minute. Kendal needed to focus on something besides Amanda, and Damon needed solutions. No matter how uncomfortable talking about everything was, he needed to get it off his chest. "I stood quietly beside her during the shit with Krista and Jake. I went to the apartment with her, the hospital, the jail..." He paused as his heart constricted in his chest. "She accepted my strength and wanted to help me heal from the shit that happened with my mother. I could see the future in her eyes, Kendal. I could feel it. For the first time in my life, I wanted a wife, a pretty house to offer her, and a few little ones running around. She has the power to change me. I can almost see myself being the man I've always wanted to be with someone like her."
"Someone like her?" Kendal winked and turned to look back out the window.
I reached over and patted his chest softly. "No. With her."
"Exactly," he whispered before closing his eyes.
"Thanks, man." Damon started to pull his hand back and decided against it. He patted Kendal's chest until his friend's breathing grew deep. There was no need to grab a six pack. Kendal needed rest and someone to listen and take care of him. Where Damon had no doubt in his mind that this Dana chick would be up for the task, he knew Kendal had already started to pull back from her. He wasn't sure why, but he would work to figure it out and help Kendal move past it.
Where Bethany was the right woman for him, he had no doubt that there was a woman who would heal all of Kendal's wounds and change him forever. Whether it was this Dana chick was yet to be seen, but Damon couldn't help but hope it was. The way the poor girl cried in the hallway as Kendal left spoke volumes.
What had happened between them to leave him pushing her away?
It had to be something related to his career. Where Damon wasn't willing to ask anytime soon, he figured it would soon come out in the wash. The next few days would be about Kendal healing. Nothing else.
Damon got his best friend into the apartment and tucked into bed before calling the office.
"I'm going to be out for the next few days. Reroute everything to my cell phone." Damon dropped down on the couch and closed his eyes as Linda went through the list of things he had scheduled. They worked to clear everything for him.
His next call was the most important he would make that day, but it also scared the hell out of him to do it.
"How is he?" Bethany answered the phone a little bit out of breath.
"He's pretty fucked up." Damon pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I can't imagine burying Matt."
"When is the funeral?"
"I don't know, but Kendal kept mumbling about Saturday, so I assume that's what he was talking about. He's asleep right now."
"You want me to come over there?" The woman on the other end of the phone was the girl he'd fallen so deeply in love with.
"Yeah, but it would be for selfish reasons. I'll give you a buzz later this week. I'm hoping maybe you'll come to dinner with me on Friday. I need to talk to you, Beth. Kendal needs me for the next few days, but I need to see you. I can't keep doing this shit. I need to clear the air completely between us."
There was an awkward pause, and for a minute, he thought she might have hung up. He held his tongue and waited for her to speak.
"Okay. I have to be in court all day Friday for Krista's hearing, but I can go to dinner later that evening."
"All right. I'll call you in a few days. Take care, okay?"
"You too. Take care of Kendal, Damon. He's a good man."
"Yeah. He is."
They said their goodbyes, and Damon tossed the phone on the couch next to him. What would it take to have her say the same about him? He wasn't sure, but he wanted to try and be that guy. He'd won her over the first time by standing beside her the moment she needed him to the most.
Friday would be another chance, a chance he wouldn't be missing out on.
Chapter 7
Bethany
Damon being with Kendal for the last three days gave her a lot of time to think through things. If nothing else, she was willing to hear him out that night. She had a lot to say, but it almost seemed like the old Damon was back for a minute. The one who stood beside her at Jake's apartment and made love to her in Jamaica. Maybe all the pressures of getting back to work trying to be everything for everyone changed him. Her being his step-sister and his fiancée had to have weighed heavily on him.
"I'm not a victim," she mumbled before walking into the courtroom. The place was packed with students from the look of things. She didn't know many of them, but something told her that word had gotten around. Everyone loved a good train wreck, no matter who was involved.
Kendal sat near the back of the room, his face blank and eyes haunted. Bethany made her way over to him and sat down in the seat beside him.
"Hey. I'm so sorry about your loss." She slid her arm into his and pressed her cheek to his shoulder, not caring who was watching. It would seem that having to watch Jake and Krista tear each other apart during the court hearing that day wasn't the only pain she'd have to live through. Having Kendal there only made matters worse. He was required to testify, but he was in no shape to be anywhere.
"Thank you." He glanced down at her. "The funeral is tomorrow morning."
"I'll be there." She sat up but kept her arm wrapped around his.
"I will be too." Damon moved in and sat beside her, shocking her a little. He had to have been there with Kendal.
"I thought you were going to the office today," Kendal leaned around her and whispered softly.
"No. I wanted to be here for you and Beth." Damon glanced over at her and damned if her heart didn't skip a beat. Between his dark hair that curled up on the sides to his warm brown eyes, she found herself wanting to drown in him. With so much sadness all around her, he seemed to be the warmth she needed.
Funny how quickly that could change.
"I'm glad you're here." She sat back and turned her attention toward the front as he slid his arm behind her and gripped Kendal's shoulder tightly.
"I'll always be here for you, Beth," he whispered but kept his eyes on the front of the room.
There was truth in his statement.
The judge walked in, and everyone stood but Jake. He hadn't gotten to the point where he could stand or walk without help. Too much nerve damage. The door opened on the far side of the room, and a guard brought Krista out wearing a bright orange jumpsuit. Bethany realized that it had been a few weeks since she'd gone to see her old friend. The girl had lost far too much weight. Her cheeks were sunk in, and the dark circles under her eyes left her looking like death.
"Shit," Kendal murmured and shook his head. "She looks so much like Mandy."
"You wanna get out of here?" Damon leaned around her and glanced up at Kendal. "Just say the word, man."
"No." Kendal turned his gaze toward Damon. "Thank you though."
"You?" Damon glanced down at Beth.
"Yeah, but I don't have a choice. I have to testify today." She let her eyes move around his impossibly handsome face. There were so many things she wa
nted to tell him. I miss you being the first. It wasn't time to reconcile just yet though. They had to set a few things straight between them as family, then friends and if they could make it to the last round, lovers.
"I'd take it from you if I could." He reached out and brushed his thumb over her bottom lip as his eyes filled with foreign emotions.
"Somehow I believe that." She smiled and pulled his hand from her face. It was too much to have him touch her. It felt too good. Too right.
"Promise me that you guys are going to talk after this." Kendal turned to look down at Bethany and back up to Damon. "You're both driving me crazy. Life is too short for this shit."
"We are." Bethany reached over and patted Kendal's arm. "I promise."
"And you should talk with Dana sometime soon, Kendal." Damon's voice wasn't nearly as soft as Bethany thought it should be. It was obvious that Kendal was still trapped in a dark place due to his sister passing.
"She's going to be my student in a few days, bro. I can't do that. You understand."
"Nope. I don't." Damon sat back. "I think love is far more important than your career."
Bethany held her tongue as a million comebacks burst through her mind. Damon had forced her to put her engagement ring in a box when she came to work so that they wouldn't upset the delicate balance of how everyone at work felt about her. He was far more willing to give up everything for his career than Kendal seemed to be.
"Bullshit." Kendal leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. "You're not the one to be giving me this advice."
"All right, but I'm saying it because I love you like a brother." Damon shrugged. "Take me and Beth for instance. I fucked up big time with her at work. I tried to separate who we were when we were there and when we weren't. It caused her to feel like I was embarrassed that she was mine, right?"
Bethany nodded and turned to look up at him. "I know why you did it, but the reason doesn't matter. It hurt me."
Mister Big Stuff_A Single Mom Friends to Lovers Novel Page 77