"Because I'm an asshole."
"Damon."
"No. Wait, okay." He reached over and took her hand, holding it tightly. "I was scared that everyone at the office would give you hell for being a part of the family when you first started, and then I realized it would be way worse if we were engaged. Throw the two things together and who the fuck knows what people would say around you."
"I can take care of myself."
He stopped at a stop light and turned his attention on her, narrowing his eyes a little. "Do you think for one minute that I'm the type of man that would let you take the brunt of that shit and not do something about it?"
"No, but I-"
"No, nothing. I was worried about what might happen. If someone said something to you that was offensive or harmful, I'd likely break their damn nose myself."
"I understand." She pulled her hand from his slowly. "It just hurt me so much. I kept thinking maybe you didn't want anyone to know that I was yours because you were embarrassed."
Her voice cracking caused his heart to ache.
"Baby. I want the whole world to know that you're mine. If I knew then what I know now, I never in a million years would have asked you to take that damn ring off. The morning you left it on my nightstand felt like the world crashed in around me. I can't remember hurting that much since the night I found my mother sleeping with another man." He turned his attention back toward the front of the road and held his breath, working on not letting his emotions get the best of him.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Damon. I just couldn't see spending my life with someone that was ashamed of me, had no respect for me and worked to leave me well aware of both." She reached over and slid her hand onto his thigh. "Forgive me."
"For what? Running from the monster? I can't say that I blame you, to be honest." He pulled over on the side of the road and let out a soft sigh. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe they couldn't work things out. It sounded like she was dead set on painting him as the biggest fucking villain ever in her mind.
How in the hell could he salvage that?
Chapter 9
Bethany
I'm not the victim. He didn't do any of those things with malice or the intent that I thought he did.
Against her better judgment, she unbuckled her seat belt and moved to her knees, leaning over and wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I told you that I was struggling, that I felt like you didn't care about me. I know it's stupid now, but those are the things that kept kicking me down each time I would try to work things out with you." She pressed her face against his neck and breathed in deeply. "You're not a monster at all. I just felt like a victim, which is stupid."
He kissed the side of her face and rubbed her back softly. "You want me to take you back to your place? I honestly didn't realize how bad all of this looked. I didn't have the intent you thought I had, but I understand why you ran from me. Maybe you were right to run."
"No." She turned her face toward his. "I don't want to run anymore. I just need to understand where you were coming from. You explaining it is clearing up a lot, okay?"
"My turn." He slid his hand into her hair and pulled her down for a long kiss. The soft press of his tongue against her lips left her body waking up. She'd promised herself ten times that she wouldn't let their physical attraction pull her down into worshiping him without getting clarity and clearing the air between them. If they were going to have a solid relationship, it was going to start that night. She was tired of waiting to make a decision. It was shit or get off the pot time.
She opened her mouth and moaned softly as he pressed his tongue deep into her mouth and gripped her hair with the same aggression that left her wet and aching every time he reached for her.
"I want you so fucking bad, Beth." He licked her lips and sucked her bottom lip back into his mouth. "You know that though, don't you?"
"Yes," she whispered roughly and pressed her lips back against his. He took full advantage of her going in for the kiss and ran his hands down her back and squeezed the top curve of her ass. Every part of him felt alive as she flattened her chest against his and took the fierceness of the kiss like a champ.
"Stop teasing me, or I'm going to break your promise to yourself." He brushed his nose by hers and kissed her once more before she moved back into her seat.
"God, I forgot how good it felt to be close to you." She pursed her lips and pressed her head to the seat behind her as she let out another soft sensual sound.
"Keep it up." He licked his lips, trying to taste her again before they started to talk.
"Why did you let Delilah push me around at the office?" She lifted her eyebrow at him.
He shook his head and pulled the car back onto the road. "I didn't know she was giving you such grief until Ben and Patrick came to see me the day you quit."
"I should have been more clear about it." Bethany shook her head. "The woman is a whorish bitch."
"Good, then come back to work and put her in her place."
"Why aren't you firing her?"
"I am," he glanced over at Beth, "but I have to have proper cause to do it. She's been a little too flirty with me lately, which has me verbally beating her back each chance I get. I can't fire her without proper cause. Come help me find a few good reasons."
Bethany laughed sardonically. "You're just looking for a way to get me back up there. I'm not doing it. She's not worth the strain of working with you."
"What if I change?" He reached for her hand, pulling it toward his lips and licking at her fingers one at a time.
She whimpered softly and tried to tug her hand free, but he gripped it tighter. Everything about him turned her on. The soft pulse between her thighs had moved from something that she was able to ignore to a violent ticking that demanded her attention.
"You're not going to change." She bit her tongue as he sucked one of her fingers deep into his mouth, rolling his tongue around the digit and pressing his teeth against her flesh. "Stop, Damon. You said we would just talk."
He released her and kissed her hand one more time before putting it back in her lap. Her request seemed ignorant all of a sudden.
"I've already started to change, Beth. I don't want to be a different man than the man I've grown into, but if explaining myself and working hard to make sure you and every other fucking person in our lives know that you're number one in my world, then so be it. Delilah's days are numbered. My father made a huge mistake in hiring her, and he knows that now. He feels like shit about it." He glanced over at her. "I never would have brought her to the firm to work beside me. You thinking that I would lie about it is almost crazy."
"It looked that way, but I'm starting to realize that a lot of things that looked that way were just me expecting the worst from you." She shrugged. "My father woke me up the morning he left and kissed me on the cheek. He promised that he would be home that night and that we'd work on my bike out in the garage. It wasn't much of a bike, but it was all we had. We were pretty poor."
"Beth." Damon reached over and squeezed her thigh.
"No, let me finish." She took a deep breath. "I went to school that day and came home to find my mom in the house and three big thugs tearing up everything. He'd skipped town because he owed them drug money, but he left us there without saying a word. He forced us to be the victims of poverty, of fear, of a whole host of other fucked up things." Tears filled her eyes, but she kept going. "I've never been whole or complete. When we first got together, I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall, but it didn't. I think I started just to assume that everything you did had some small seed of malice in it. Why wouldn't it? We couldn't last. You wouldn't want a broken girl like me. I had nothing. I have nothing. I'm poor, and you’re rich. I'm average, and you're beautiful."
"Beth." Damon pulled into the driveway at his place. "You're everything I want in my life. You're beyond beautiful to me. You're talented and smart, and you could run circles around all of us put together if you
believed in yourself."
"But I don't." She pressed her fingers to her eyes and wiped at her tears. "I think that's why I bastardized all of it in my mind."
"I believe in you completely." He got out of the car, walked around, opened her door and pulled her out, wrapping his strong arms around her. "And this isn't just about you making yourself out to be a victim. It's about me needing to have tight control on our relationship, so tight that I almost ruined it. It's about my fucked up situation with my mother forcing me to turn every outing you had without me into a rendezvous with some incredible lover."
"No one is better than you," she whispered against the side of his throat.
"I just knew that you had something for Philip, and then Kendal and God knows who else. Every man I look at around me is better for you. I'm an asshole, and I deserve nothing for the way I've treated women, but I want you so goddamn bad."
He licked up the side of her throat, leaving her knees weak. "I would pay penitence for the rest of my life if you were in it. I'd do anything I could to make you happy, to give you anything you wanted, baby. I would do all of it for you."
His words softened her, driving the truth deep into her heart. He loved her. He had to. There was no way someone that loved her like the man clinging to her could have malicious intent toward her.
"Why were we fighting? Why did I leave my ring with you?" She turned and pressed her lips against his as a sob left her. "When did all of this shit start?"
"I don't know, but I need it to go away. I don't care about anyone else, Beth. I gave you that ring and asked you to marry me because I love you, baby. I love you so fucking much." He gripped her face and leaned down, consuming her with his kiss. She melted against him, letting go of her promise to leave untouched, her hope to work things out, her need to facilitate a full night of working through their demons. She didn't need to talk about their shit anymore. It was invalid, and both of them were in the wrong.
"I love you too. I've missed you so much." A fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks as Damon gripped the back of her thighs and forced her to wrap her legs around him. He kept his tight grip on the side of her face and wrapped his free arm around her rear as he walked them toward the house.
"Let’s not do this shit anymore, okay? Just tie me down, and we can talk about things as they come up. Yes?" He kissed her again before letting her slide down the front of his body.
A moan left her as she brushed by his thick erection. Why in the world would she have thought that anything but love making would be the end result if things went right? Sex was his love language, and nothing felt better than being pressed beneath him, covered by him, spread wide open for him.
She nodded in response to his question and kissed him softly one more time before moving out of his way.
He worked on the door, and she moved up behind him, wrapping her arms around his narrow waist and pressing her cheek to his back. She breathed deeply, trying to stain her lungs with his scent. Everything about him left her breathless and needy. All of the bullshit they'd put each other through slowly started to dissipate as she let herself consume the truth.
"Are we still making dinner?" She pressed her teeth against his shoulder and closed her eyes, not sure she wanted anything but him hovering above her, naked and sweaty.
"Anything you want, Beth." He opened the door and walked in, turning and pulling her against him as he closed the door.
She groaned as he pressed her to the wall behind her and ran his hands up her sides, cupping her breasts and squeezing. The firm press of his body against hers left her with little question where his mind was.
Some part of her wanted to make dinner and talk more, but it seemed irrelevant. They could make love and then get up and eat then. There wasn't much more to talk about other than the ring.
"You smell so good, baby. Like lust and roses." He pressed his lips against her ear and groaned as he rocked against her. "You know how badly I wanted to bed you over the conference room table the other day just to teach you a few lessons?"
"And what would you have done to me?" she whispered roughly as she slid her hands over his hips to squeeze his ass.
"Knelt behind you and forced you to scream my name a few times." He brushed his thumbs over her nipples. "Wear my ring again, Beth. We can work through anything you want to work through, but don't give up on us. I can't let you do that. I love you too much."
She closed her eyes and lifted one of her legs, locking her knee over his hip as he ground against her. Pleasure danced in the center of her stomach, and everything seemed so far away all of a sudden. The pressure building between her legs and deep inside her chest caused something to shift deep inside of her. She loved him too. More than anyone she'd ever loved in her short life. How could she fathom giving that up? The hopeless situation wasn't at all hopeless. He was willing to open himself up and work it all out.
"Where is it?" She turned her head and brushed her nose by his ear. "The ring? What did you do with it?"
He moved back and reached into his pocket, pulling it out and turning it over in his palm. "I carry it everywhere with me." He smiled shyly, not looking like the aggressive bastard that would have her panting like a whore by the time the night was over. "I honestly couldn't let the hope die that you'd want it back. I'm not sure I could live with that thought.”
"Damon." She reached out and plucked it from his palm. "I didn't want to let it die either. I was just so hurt."
He cupped her face with both hands and leaned in to kiss her. "I don't want you hurt. Marry me, Beth. Let me fix all of it and make it better. Let's build another house together and start a family someday, baby. Can we do that? Please?"
She leaned against him and closed her eyes. Nothing sounded better.
"And when things get rough?" she mumbled against his lips.
"We talk about it and work on it together."
"You promise?" She slid her hand between their bodies and cupped his cock, squeezing it as she ran her nails up the swell of his sack.
"Fuck yes." He licked at her mouth and shifted his hips, pressing himself against her hand. "Let me make love to you tonight. Don't deny me."
"I don't think I could if I wanted to." She nipped at his lips and leaned back, pulling her hands up to rest in front of her. "I don't want to ever take this off again. Don't ask me to."
"Never. I swear it." He reached out and plucked the ring from her before sliding it onto her left hand and leaning down to kiss it. "You're mine forever. Don't ever run from me again."
"I won't." She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Make love to me after dinner. Fuck me now."
"Hell yeah," he growled and picked her up, walking back toward the bedroom as he kissed her with a passion that left her insides trembling. "You're all mine tonight, pussycat."
She clung to him and licked at his mouth as he growled low in his chest, the promise one that she was more than happy to hold him to.
Chapter 10
Bethany
She laid on the bed as he moved around the room. There were a million things she wanted to say, but he'd laid her down and told her to hush the minute she started asking questions. There was nothing left to do but watch him walk around the room, lighting candles. She'd pulled his shirt from him as he kissed her before getting up, which left the view from her vantage point beyond spectacular. Thick muscles bunched up as he reached up to pull the curtains closed. His arms and back were beautifully sculpted, as was his chest and stomach.
He glanced over his shoulder and gave her a sexy smile. "What are you thinking, Beth?"
"I was wondering what kind of pasta we were going to make." She tried hard not to smile in the middle of her fib, but much like her mother always warned her, the devil made you smile each time you lied.
"Oh yeah?" He turned around and unbuttoned his slacks, pushing them over his hips and letting them fall to the ground. The sexy bastard didn't have on underwear, which was less than surprising.
&n
bsp; Her eyes moved down his body, coveting every part of him. He was well endowed and as naughty as it was, one of the things she would have missed about him was the way he forced her to take all of him, regardless of whether she thought herself capable of doing it. It was exhilarating.
"Your nipples budding so tightly against your dress tell a different story." He reached down and stroked himself as he walked toward the bed.
"What story do they tell?" She moved to her knees and crawled to the edge of the bed as excitement raced through her center and played with the most sensitive parts of her body.
He stopped in front of her and reached out, brushing his fingers over the tops of her shoulders and down her arms. Chill bumps ran rampant on her exposed skin. He took his time, touching her everywhere as he reached for the bottom of her dress. He pulled it over her head and took a deep breath. "Wow. So fucking beautiful."
"You're avoiding answering me. Why?" She slid her hands up his strong chest and cupped his neck. She couldn't help but revel in the softness of his skin and the way his muscles clenched under her feather-light touch.
"You already know the answer to that question, you bad girl." He leaned in, wrapping his arms around her and undid her bra before leaning over to worship her breasts one at a time. The tenderness in his touch was almost surprising after her request for him to unleash every bit of himself all over her. Maybe he wasn't capable of separating the lust and love anymore. The thought caused her heart to flutter as gratefulness rolled over her.
"Thank you," she whispered and kissed the side of his face as he rolled his tongue around her nipple and pulled it deep into his mouth, flicking it hard a few times.
She groaned and ran her fingers through his hair as he pulled back and glanced up. "For what, baby?"
"For giving us another chance." She pulled him down for a long kiss, giving herself over to him and trying like hell to push as much passion into the kiss as she could.
Mister Big Stuff_A Single Mom Friends to Lovers Novel Page 79