Tell me about it, I thought to myself. “I’m a little tired, but not too bad. Did you all have a good day?” I asked, hoping to turn the focus off myself.
“Very productive,” Samuel answered.
“Yes, very productive,” Blake mirrored his response.
“Well, I can’t be as descriptive as these two,” Annette said mockingly, “but I did finish cleaning up the attic, so I guess I’m feeling that the day was also productive.”
Blake stood up and began to walk towards the door. “Let’s get you two something to eat; I’m sure you’re both hungry.”
Over dinner, Blake questioned me on the details of my training today and he couldn’t help chuckling when he heard what Abby had made me do. Now, looking back, it was actually pretty funny. Well, everything except the eating dirt... that was just disgusting. I could still felt the remnants of it in my mouth.”
When we were finished with dinner, Abby offered to do the dishes so Blake and I could leave for our evening without any more delay. She was so hot and cold sometimes, leaving me wondering what her true feelings were. There were times when I felt like she wanted me all to herself. That all she wanted was to teach me to be the best, strongest witch to ever exist. Then, there were times where it felt like she wanted me to have a normal life. Although, maybe she was just conflicted like me. There were times when I wanted nothing more than to learn as much as possible in order to protect myself and the ones I loved. Then there were times where I wished I could forget everything for just a few minutes and not have this constant worry resting on my shoulders.
Blake and I walked hand in hand. He was still being coy about our destination and in most cases, I would have begged him until he told me. Tonight, though, my mind was too tired to ask; and as much as I hated it, my mind was distracted with repeating the lessons from today over and over in my head. I wanted to perfect it tomorrow, just like Abby had thought I would. She unknowingly put so much pressure on me by the amount of confidence she had in my success. It wasn’t until Blake said something, that I realized I had totally been ignoring him.
“Meredith, are you alright? You’re being particularly quiet tonight.”
Turning to look at him, it was easy to see the worry on his face. I wondered if a day would come when he wouldn’t look at me like that, or if it would always be there since he knew that dark magic would continuously be lurking, seeking someone with my type of power. “Sure, everything’s fine.” I smiled, trying to comfort the concern in his eyes.
He sighed as he looked up towards the black night sky. “I hoped it wouldn’t come to this. I wanted to avoid asking you how you’re doing, but I can’t take it anymore.” His voice held a bit of frustration.
My eyebrows came together in confusion from his tone and I shook my head. “Blake, you just asked me that. Come to think of it, you ask me every day—almost every minute we’re together—how I’m doing.”
He inhaled deeply before responding. “That’s true, but you always say you’re fine when I know you’re not. I’ve just never pressed you for the truth. I know all of this has to be hard for you, yet you never say anything. You never tell me how you’re really feeling. You never show fear, stress, or any other expression that would be normal in a situation like this. In the beginning, I thought maybe you would at least talk to Abby about it... I thought that maybe you were just not comfortable talking to me about your feelings. However, Abby said that you respond to her the same way... you tell her you’re fine.” He stopped walking and faced me. “I just want to know how you’re doing... how you’re really doing and please don’t tell me you’re fine, Meredith.” His voice was serious.
My head spun at the total change in direction our evening had taken. We were supposed to be having a nice, romantic night... Or, at least, that’s what I thought he had planned for us. Now, after hearing his words, it felt more like he took me out to give me a lecture.
Taking in a deep breath, I tried to sort out my thoughts and think of the best way to respond to Blake’s question. It’s not that I didn’t trust him enough to tell him things. That wasn’t it at all. I just wasn’t the type of person to open my feelings up to anyone really. It was sort of a defense mechanism that I started after my family died. I never wanted to worry Aunt Rose, so I put up a shield and blocked her from ever knowing how badly I was actually hurting. The shield also went up for my teachers, friends and even strangers. I never wanted anyone to pity me or worry on my behalf.
Before I could find the words to say, Blake took a step forward; our faces only inches apart. “No more silence. Please talk to me.”
The pressure he was putting on me began to irritate me. They were my feelings, my thoughts, my fears. If I wanted to tell them to someone, shouldn’t it be up to me?
“What do you want to hear, Blake? Do you want to hear that I’m terrified? That I go to sleep every night afraid of waking up and not being here with you? Do you want to know how terrified I am that one day someone is going to come after me because of what I am and hurt you and your family trying to get to me? Is that what you want to hear?” I sighed in frustration, glancing down at the ground, feeling a little exposed that I just revealed my deepest fears to him.
For a minute, I didn’t have the strength to look up at him. I didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly, but he had asked for it! Then, as quickly as my anger came, the guilt for just saying those things, came even quicker. There was no reason for it to come out like an attack on him. He was only trying to help me because he cared about me. When I finally got the courage to look up, his face was expressionless as he stared out into the darkness.
“Blake, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I just... I’m not the best when it comes to expressing my feelings. That’s why they usually stay bottled up.”
He glanced back at me with a twisted expression, shaking his head. “This is what I wanted. I wanted to know the truth from you. If you’re angry, be angry. If you’re scared or sad, just tell me. I want to be here for you; whatever you’re feeling. I’m glad you just told me those things and that you actually put some feeling behind it. I’m just confused by what you’re feeling is all. Here I was thinking that you were upset because you missed home—you missed your aunt, Jack, and your friend, Roger. My family and I were all convinced that you had regretted your decision in coming here and–”
“Blake, no!” I gasped. “You and your family risked everything for me; you came across over a hundred years of time to save me. Coming here to warn you what was going to happen that day in the church was the least I could do.”
He laced his fingers through mine and stared at our hands for a moment before meeting my gaze. “It helps to know how you feel. We all care about you and want what’s best for you.”
“Well, I can’t make any promises, but from now on, I’ll work on being more open with how I’m feeling,” I said, swallowing hard.
“That’s all I ask. You don’t have to confide in me if you’re not comfortable. Abby is here for you, too. We’re all here for you.”
We arrived at Tinkers Island and I couldn’t help but smile. This was the first time he had brought me here since that first night in my own time, the night where I had learned about who I truly was. I had also come here by myself that day after the Harpers left to return to their time, but tonight was different. Tonight there weren’t a million questions running through my head and there wasn’t the confusion, fear, or sadness I’d felt the last time I was here.
As we walked along the sand, I noticed that he had been right. The island hadn’t changed much from this time to that evening in the future. I was sure that he was leading me towards the makeshift bench he had taken me to that night, but I could see something in the distance that made me wonder if I was wrong. He glanced back towards me and smiled, then with one swift wave of his hand, a burst of light erupted a hundred feet in front of us. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was, other than it being the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I
stopped and stared for a moment. I couldn’t remember ever seeing anything so amazing—no, I was sure, I’d never seen anything so amazing.
“How did you do that?” I asked, looking up at him, totally impressed.
“Magic, of course.”
“Yeah, I figured that. I mean, I haven’t seen a spell that could do something like that before… you know, with fire.”
“Yeah, it’s a bit of an advanced spell. My father actually had to help me with it. When I asked him about the spell the other day, he said that he would have to dig around and see if he could find it in one of his old spell books.”
“So this is what you two were working on today?” I remembered how strange Samuel acted this morning and how coy the both of them had been when I asked them about their day today.
“Just most of the afternoon.” He smiled and continued to guide me down the beach.
The closer we got to the beautiful glow; it became clear on what was in front of me. I could now see there was a blanket perfectly laid out and that a ring of candles were surrounding it. My stomach was in knots when I saw what he had done and knowing that we were alone... on a beach... Under a star filled sky.
“Hey,” he whispered, bringing my attention back to him. “It’s just a beautiful spot for you to relax and take your mind off everything for a while.”
We both laid on our backs, staring up at the stars. For the first few minutes, no words were spoken between us and I had to admit, if felt nice to lay there and not think about anything except the moment. It was rare when Blake and I got alone time like this, so as much as my mind wanted to drift off and think about the lesson I’d learned that day, I pushed everything from my mind and just concentrated on being there with him. It had been a long time since I’d felt like this—totally at peace—and I tried to think of a way to stay here, to never go back to the estate and to never have to think or deal with magic again.
“Are you relaxed?” Blake asked, turning on his side and propping himself up on his elbow.
“Completely.” I sighed.
“No thoughts of magic or spells?” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“None, whatsoever.” I sighed again, this time even louder.
“Good. Then my plan is working.”
“Your plan, huh?” I turned to face him, looking in his eyes.
He smiled. “I wanted you to have a night off—to not think about anything or anyone, except for the one you’re with, of course.” He pulled me closer in one fell swoop, our lips just inches apart. My heart leaped into my throat at the sudden change in position and at his lips drawing closer to mine.
The hours passed too quickly. It wasn’t long before I felt like it was almost time to go. It’s not that we had a curfew, but I knew that I would have to be up early for training in the morning.
“We should get back. I’m sure Abby is rolling her eyes as we speak.” Blake exhaled, planting a kiss on my forehead before sitting up. “You know how she likes to have you fully rested on school nights and all.”
I didn’t follow his movements. Instead, I laid there frozen—not wanting to move—not wanting this amazing night to end.
“Or we could just stay here all night.” Blake smiled and looked back over his right shoulder. “It’s peaceful here, isn’t it?”
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you it’s mean to tease?” I narrowed my eyes playfully.
“Maybe one day we can escape all of this.” He sighed, looking forward again into the dark ocean. “It would be nice to get away from the constant worry and have peace again. Don’t get me wrong, I love magic. If it weren’t for magic, I wouldn’t have ever known you, but there are times when I wonder what it would feel like to be normal and not have the constant worry that the people you care about are always in danger.”
I sat up after hearing the apprehension in his voice, understanding exactly what he was saying. “Hey, it’s all going to be alright. Isn’t that what you keep telling me—that everything is going to work out?” I squeezed his arm and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for doing all of this. It really helped me relax and get my mind off some things.” I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. “We should do this more often.”
He wrapped his arm around my waist. “Well, I’m glad my plan worked. I’d do just about anything to see that smile on your face and that look of content in your eyes.”
It was at that moment I decided I wasn’t ready to go back just yet. I fell back towards the blanket, pulling on his shirt, forcing him back down with me for a long kiss; hoping that maybe I could persuade him to stay a little longer. My plan worked for a minute, but not at all as long as I’d hoped for.
“We should really be going now.” He breathed against my neck, his warm breath sending chills over me. “If we stay here much longer, I don’t know if I’ll have the strength to ever leave.”
That wouldn’t be so bad, would it? I thought to myself, but I let him help me stand and we made our way back home.
Just as we had suspected, Abby was sitting on the front porch glaring at us as we approached the estate. “Seriously, am I going to have to start setting a curfew for you two?”
“You can’t set a curfew on two adults, Abby,” Blake fired back.
“Well, then maybe I’ll just find a spell that forces you to return home by a certain time.” She gave us both a pointed look, tapping her foot on the porch. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get my student in bed at a decent hour.”
We both tried to hide our laughter, knowing that neither one of us could say anything to sway Abby’s thoughts on this subject. She took her teacher role very seriously, and rightfully so, but it didn’t mean that it wasn’t annoying at times. Wasn’t she just saying today that she may be pushing too hard?
Abby turned on her heels and walked into the house, leaving Blake and I close behind; both of us still trying to contain our laughter and act somewhat respectful. This night was so close to perfect and I wasn’t about to let anything ruin it, even if it meant that I would have an angry teacher in the morning. I kissed Blake goodnight at the bottom of the stairs and then headed down the hall to my bedroom; like a good student should.
After changing into a pair of pajamas that Abby had so kindly given me after I arrived here, I grabbed my toothbrush and then headed to the bathroom—the same one where just a couple months ago I had taken shelter when my vision of Isaac came unexpectedly. It was also the night that the Harpers told me who they really were and who I was destined to become. Those memories were always with me, not matter how much time had passed.
Before going to sleep, I pulled my journal out from under my pillow. There were a few notes that I wanted to make about our lesson today as well as document the most romantic night of my life.
It made me smile from ear to ear and my insides warm just thinking of our night together. I tried to be as detailed as possible, writing how amazing the blanket and candles looked under the star filled sky. I wrote about how sweet and gentle Blake was all night, focusing solely on me and wanting me to think of nothing except the moment.
Just as I was finishing my entry, a soft knock was at my door. “Come in,” I called, shutting the journal and stuffing it back under my pillow.
Abby’s head peaked through the door opening. “May I come in?”
“Sure.”
Her features held a look of regret and sadness. “I just wanted to apologize for being so stern earlier,” she said, walking over and taking a seat on the bed beside me. “I’m sorry for yelling at you and Blake. It was just earlier today when I admitted to myself that I was pushing you too hard. It’s just that I want you to be the absolute best witch you can possibly be. You have no idea how guilty I would feel if something happened to you. So, my being strict has more to do with my insecurities than your capabilities.”
I really hated seeing her like this. “You really have nothing to apologize for.” I placed my hand on the top of hers, letting her know that what I said was genu
ine. “Like I told you before, if it were up to me, I would let you teach me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.”
She shook her head. “But I see it now. Really see it. You can’t let this become your entire life. You deserve to separate yourself from being a witch... from magic. It’s what your mother wanted for you. That’s why she shielded you from this life when you were younger, and now, all I’ve done is push you full force towards it.” She stopped talking, put her hand up to quiet me just as my mouth was opening, predicting the argument I was about to make. “Now, I know what you’re going to say, but I’m your teacher and I make the rules when it comes to your lessons. So from now on we’re going to back off a little. We’ll still have lessons a few times a week, but on the days off, there will be no talk of magic. None, whatsoever. It may be difficult for me to do at first, but I will try my best. Instead of magic talk, we’ll talk about regular stuff—like clothes, boys, or some other interesting non-magic topic.” She paused and pondered for a moment. “Well, come to think of it... no boy talk. That would entail you talking to me about my brother and I’m sorry, but that’s just too weird.”
I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. “You’re unbearable sometimes, Abby, but I love you.”
She smiled back at me. “Well, you are in luck because I love you, too.”
After Abby left my room, sleep came quick and easy for me that night. I hadn’t dreamt, or remembered dreaming, since arriving back in 1905... until tonight that is. As I drifted off into a deep slumber, I began to see an image that was familiar to me. It had been months since I had seen her in my dreams. My heart smiled at the sight of her.
My mother stood in total darkness, almost as if she were floating. She smiled and I wished more than anything that she was real. I wished that I could reach out, touch her, hug her and tell her how much I’ve missed her. I wanted to tell her how grateful I was to her for sending the Harpers to me and for sending me to 1905 in order to save them. There was so much I wanted to tell her about what had happened over the last few weeks and ask about the things that still confused and worried me. For a moment, she didn’t speak, instead she just smiled. She was beaming actually. Then her mouth opened and I heard my mother’s voice speaking directly to me... that had never happened in a dream before.
Crest (Book #2,Swift Series) Page 3